move over D! here comes the G

What would happen if you replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in Harry Potter?

      

From bash.org 

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
Let’s see the results…

“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
“Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything

A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

“Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
“Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. “

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

“Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all

“Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

‘Get – off – me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

my twenty favorite doctor seuss quotes

1. A person's a person, no matter how small.
2. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.
3. Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
4. From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
5. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
6. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way.
7. If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.
8. I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent.
9. So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.
10. And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed.
11. Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
12. All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot. - Dr. Seuss
13. The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.
14. Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
15. Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!
16. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
17. I'm afraid sometimes you'll play lonely games too, games you can't win because you'll play against you
18. I'm sorry to say so but, sadly it's true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you
19. From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
20. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.

9-9-9-9-9-9-9???

THE 9 BABY

Henry Michael Berendes arrived into the world in grand style and, although his only real achievement in life is simply being born, he is already a notable person just for that.

Born to Chuck and Polly Berendes of La Crosse, Wisconsin, little Henry was delivered at 9:09 a.m. by Cesarean section at Franciscan Skemp Medical Center on September 9, 2009 making his exact birth date 9.9.09 at 9:09.

Following his arrival, Michael was placed on a scale where the funny coincidence of his birth became more of a minor miracle. Henry Michael Berendes, born on 9.9.09 at 9:09 pm weighed in at 9 pounds, 9 ounces.

Welcome to this beautiful curious world, Michael.