Long live the caregiver

Long live the caregiver

when i was a kid i was very very sick all of the time and it grew into a lifestyle of "needy playing sick" mentality. when i would feel low as a child, i would "play the sick card" and suck up all the attentions that i would receive like a vacuum... and this stayed with me thru middle and high school and even into my twenties. and it was wrong of me to ask that of my people: that they would be subjected to my demands.

in my twenties, this realization led to a change in me to become more tough and to need no one - an almost exact opposite pendulum swing the other way... and that also was an unbalanced and unhealthy way to view the situation. so then i swung in another direction - the direction of self-loathing and guilt for becoming sick was not a good one either, but healing would eventually come.

so here i am today, after a terrible double hyper extension in my left leg of my knee and ankle and large toe, find myself in the worst pain of my adult-hood and the second most painful time in my life (after i broke my tailbone when i was twelve) needing my wife and asking her for things. and i feel so guilty when i am doing it. i feel like i am demanding unreasonable things of her... "this and that, and oh can you get this too".

the feeling started creeping up on me last night after a five hour emergency room sit-in, and it is attacking my mind this morning. yes, i "need" her, but why do i feel guilty? if i "NEED" these things, then shouldn't i just go about it and accept it when she does me these "favors"? are they "favors" at all? isn't this what love is? is this what marriage is?

i know many families who have one person or even two people in the household that are ill and take up a lot of the families resources and demands to fulfill their daily comforts. it is the love of a wife or husband, or mother or child that often fulfills these daily tasks and it is in family that we should trust and turn to in times of ongoing distress. often it is the love of our loved ones that keeps us alive.

"in sickness and in health" was in my vows when i pledged my love and myself to her... so why do i feel bad about asking her to fulfill hers? life and respect are growing inside me, more and more each day for this beautiful person that God has given me.

dearest care-givers: hats off to you and your health. it is in you that we, the sickly, do trust. we need you, we love you, we respect you and we are so very incredibly thankful that you are there, that you answered our call, and that you find value in us as "yours". i know you in real life, as well i also know those are the recipients of your love. you are both strong. never despise the other, but let this time of uncomfort enrich your relationship and deepen your resolve to love and do good in your home and in the world.

pauly hart
tuesday, april 15th, 2014
reposted from https://www.facebook.com/JesuslovesPaulyHart