over the coffee...

i went to a local coffee house the other day and ordered one of my favorite drinks, and a drink that had been suggested that i get at this certain spot. mocha. as i waited there with my friend, i remember thinking that it would taste really good and that it would soothe my battered nerves, but when i received my mocha it looked good, but tasted awful. the fluffy white cream on the surface tasted like shaving cream, and the warm brown liquid inside was nothing but muddy water. as i deliberately finished it off, i can remember telling my friend that i was thoroughly disappointed and dissatisfied with the entire experience. not only had my mocha been disgusting, but the price that i paid for it was astronomically high.

now, as i look back at that event i realize that there could have been many factors leading to the experience that left me so dumbfounded and gasping for explanation. the coffee itself could have been rancid, the cup dirty, the preparation fouled, or the ingredients wrong. but i think that the #1 reason that the mocha tasted the way it did to me... was because of me. my friend had a wonderful time, and i didn't. my day had been ruined by the one thing that i was expecting to lift my day up. perhaps it was the fact that i was expecting this to be the answer to my solutions that my day was ruined. i could have gotten any number of things off of the menu, but i chose the most ideal, and perfectionistic to take away my problems. why do i seem to think that something could soothe my battered nerves, what gives me the right to expect so much out of a bean beverage anyway? don't i know that whatever it offers me won't last, and that everything that i receive from it will be of little value, since it is not really doing anything for me, but rather, i am taking from it.

sometimes, we as humans, pretend to be hunky-dory on the outside; while on the inside we are withering away like a diseased dandelions. and while we look towards other people, things, and idealism's to keep us satisfied, we really should be looking for the true cure for our disease, not just topical ointments for our symptoms. if we continue to look for others and other things as the reason to stay alive and as them for the purpose in our life, then we will end up just like that mocha that i had. useless, and tasteless. you see, that mocha was probably a quality product, but because it wasn't perfect... then it was all wrong and no thing or no one is perfect except for God.

God shows us in the Garden of Eden how to behave and live. He shows us that the perfect way to be is forever with Him. letting Him see us for who we really are, really is the only true way to have an honest relationship with Him. perfectionism is one thing. but God is quite another. For God doesn't have to be perfect, He is perfect by nature. And He is the only one who can cleanse us from the yuckiness of being human. unlike the false sense of security one gets with a trivial comfort, God never loses His hold on His children. it is God, and God alone that is the one to wash us and renew us and it is only He who can truly make us feel worthwhile, and soothe our battered nerves.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

untitled and unsure

a word dried on my lips when she informed me that all i had to do was to ask the gut feeling my heart shouted was to accept what i had already seen i have denied myself any emotion since i have lost so much in these last years and writing has been the only emotional release that i have seen but she has asked me to be with her and to be her friend and lover for i have waited for such a long time and i really am more scared than i let on but in the asking i have allowed my heart to take one giant leap of faith and that gut feeling that my heart shouted was not so far off for if love is more than a physical attachment to the things we desire if love is truly a decision that we make from day to day then i will surrender i will see to it that i no longer deny my body and my heart and my spirit i will not let my inhibitions hold me back from the plan God has for me she asked me and i want this for myself because it has been a long time then the words that had glued themselves to the roof of my mouth solidified and i said yes to her and accepted all that she had to offer me and i am not sorry or will i ever be sorry for the things that i have led myself into because life is too short to feel regret and i will never let love slip by again


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The start of it all

The start of it all


I guess I was in Russia one morning when I started writing. I was on my first over seas missions trip in St. Petersburg, Russia. We had four or five dramas we were scheduled to do that day, and I was not ready for anything, except for breakfast. I was tired, angry, hungry, and in a foul mood. So I found a place to myself, grabbed a pen and started writing...

Ever since that day, I have written. Little did I realize that my poems were any good. I thought my over active imagination had gone too far. I would write on any scraps of paper that I could get hold of. I did not label or date anything. It really was a reckless quest. But God knew what He was doing. He was in total control. It was at that time that I met Jennifer. She was also in Russia, and she encouraged me to write down my feelings, and ideas on paper, for she wrote also. And, though we only got to know each other for a short time, we became fast friends. Well, we started writing and exchanging poems, and through her, God showed me that this was something that I needed to use. This was something that, if not shared, would waste away in me. The gift was alive.

You see, all my life I've been hyper active, both physically and mentally. Though it was a great help in my art classes, it usually got me into a lot of trouble. Until I recognized them as gifts, many things in my life I had counted as a curse that God had put upon me to punish me. I was wrong, they were a part of me. God had put them there for a reason and I needed to find out why. Well, you are reading one of the gifts that God has given me. The ability to take a thought, wrestle it down, strap it up, and throw it on to a slab of paper. The ability to write.

Now I use the gift. I nurse the small spark into a flame, and send it licking the sides of mediocrity, until it turns into a raging, smoldering, blaze of glory. I've met many people, and I've told many them that they need to write a book. Everyone has a story. A testimony. Something that they have done that others can look at and admire. Not everyone can to live among lepers, and disease infested people everyday. So go look at Mother Theresa. Not everyone can carry a twelve-foot cross around the world. So go look at Arthur Blessit. Not everyone can preach to over half a million people at once. So go look at Billy Graham. Not everyone has the ability to do the things that you do. Now go look at yourself. Why don't you share what God has done for you? I did and I will.

I hope that you enjoyed my little essay. I believe that God has given me this gift to do something positive. And I know that it will change lives. At least it had better. Otherwise, I'd better find something else to do with my free time. But, let no one despise me for these writings. I am using something God gave me, and in doing so, I am an owner of a small piece of Heaven. So, as you read, please try and see the world through my eyes. For I do not see the average world that others see. I see a world through the eyes of Jesus. A world of great pain, but also one of great joy in Jesus Christ.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

hmmm...

{inspired by the stupidities of democracy}


how much clint
could a bill clint clint
if a bill clint
could clint ton?

hmmm...

how much gore
could a tipper gore gore
if a tipper gore
could tip gore?

hmmm...

how many cents
could a govern ment mint
if a govern ment
could mint sense?

"dangifiknow, ask anadarko"


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Toad Lord

"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"that is imperishable,
that is immeasurable,
that is omnicient,
that is omnipotent,
that is immutable,

that is surrealistic,
that is unstoppable,
that is unmovable."
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he,
"that is the lord"

and Jim leaned over to Melissa and said:
"Man, them frogs sure is loud tonight!"


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWishbone

(scene opens)

loading up the car to go to the drive in...

(music starts)

wish bone
meet the wish bone
it's a bone right out of thanksgiving
from the super-food barn
it's a frozen good for $12.13

let's pull... the wishbone with all our might
to find out... who just may and who just might

when you've
got the wishbone
you'll have a wishbone pull-apart time
a greasy mess time
you'll have a stupid time!

(music)

fred gets thrown out by the saber-toothed cat
musical director gets fired for cueing up the wrong song

the end

>;^)__)


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

dead

there was a mouse in my ear
it squeaked all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a cat...

there was a cat in my ear
it meowed all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a dog...

there was a dog in my ear
it barked all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a lion...

there was a lion in my ear
it roared all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a elephant...

there was a elephant in my ear
it stomped all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a mouse...


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

cassie chicago

she sat, we sat, i sat

on the train... wondering

why we were in iowa... laughing

at old mens pickup lines...

and she-males getting high...

at other stuff too lame

to mention here.



i thought, she thought, we thought

of everything that went wrong

with being born in the second week

of a stubborn october



thoughts of past, linking together

as one story to the next...

i guess no one ever knows

who you'll run into on a train



so cassie, here's the poem

i said i would write you

on that second week

in a stubborn september



it's a poem about us

and that wierd bed-headed guy

(well that really doesn't pertain)

um... where was i?



ah, yes! poetry is the poetry

of a train ride thru the corn

we cry hug and giggle...

and a friendship is born.



Copyright 2005 by pauly hart

spf90

at a coffeeshop
here
sipping a flavored beverage
yum
thinking that i will never
ever
be in her arms again
nibbling at her ear
making her scream

i want to see her
i want to be with her
oh well
if i never get her awake

i have had enough of her
in my dreams

met

i met a girl
the other day
she smiled at me
as we ate pizza together
the other day
we stretched out
and flew across the lake
the other day
her mother died
like mine did before
the other day
on canadian soil
we cried before God


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

porch light

my sin is a bug
drawn unto the light
i am a moth
and i flutter away
i am in dark
and i knock away
banging my shins
as i stumble
Jesus is light
and i see his reflections
but to turn around
is the scariest still
my gain is bliss
all i forfeit is pain
God did His part
i turn and obey


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

opened and needed

i need all the time in the world from a just and loving God.
i need all His silent forgiveness to help me through today.
i need every ounce of courage the angels use to worship Him.
i need so much more than i am capable of dealing out myself.
i need the spiritual lifting of the Man who was always my God.
i need the All in All. the Alpha and Omega. the Bright Morning Star.
i need Him, because life is nothing without His tender kiss.
i need Him, because without Him, life is not life.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

daydreaming of lint

here i sit upon this craggy cliff
i justify all my indiscrepancies
will i linger in this miff
or blame certain complexities
little do i realize that
angels linger near my heart
and despite my being bald and fat
Jesus is into that saving part
so linger do i no longer and
sit lazily down here in the sand
i get up and then dance away
my chains not iron... they were clay
i raffle off what is left
my stability is all bereft
i sit and ponder with friends
just how to go and make amends
euthanasia, abortion rights,
i tire of wondering what is right
why can't i live why can't i die,
i'm scared of both, but still i try
these things belong; these things i think...
they belong in the kitchen sink
they belong to me,
i think, i think.
i depend on strangers to make my food.
i depend on the poor to harvest my coffee.
i stand unique alone, un-meek.
i belong to the set apart elite.
but for some obtuse reason, it doesn't fit.
this doesn't fit, this thought life crime.
these thoughts i think...
are they still mine?
here i sit upon this craggy cliff
i justify all my indiscrepancies
little do i realize that
Jesus is into that saving part


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

La La La

Ayatollah has gone the way of the jackel

And the people pray to a setting soul

And wail in Farsi to revive their hearts anew

Whilst dreams die in my heart for 1989


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Donde

I am in anguish
I am in pain
I lie awake now
My strength gone again

Where is my righteousness
Where is my gain
Why do I lose so
With nothing to gain

Why do I know this
And do not abstain
Why is my souls fear
in bursting with flames

I am an evil man
I am not the sane
Where is my healing
Why am I vain


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Bus Station Chance Meeting Following With A Poem Of Longing And Loss

I'm walking in a circle
You're walking in one too

You can share my spiral
But I may never walk with you

The thoughts inside your head
Are hidden in your eyes

Why seek the truth
To answer it in lies

Life is but a station
That will take us different ways

Time absolute
When your nights are your days

Come 2 in the morning
You will leave, get on the bus

Does your circle separate the difference
Between you, me, and us?


Written for a stranger and a friend
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

When?

Smoking is wrong
Smoking is unhealthy
Smoking is a sin
I am addicted
I must stop
I must reconcile myself

To clean air


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

NEVER

Never pet a burning dog
Never juggle rabid porcupines
Never toy with a polar bears emotions
Never give a stampeding elephant a pedicure
Never tickle a vomiting octopus
Never brush the teeth of a hungry shark
Never sleep next to a grumpy cobra
Never kick a grizzly bear in the eye
Never pee on a silverback gorilla

Never place a rabid squirrel down your pants
for the purposes of gambling


With thanks to the Rabid Oscillating Weasel
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Vast Unknown

I hate not knowing the future. Sometimes it just really drives me nuts that I can't just pull my own destiny out of thin air... As much as I try, life seems to be always the next step away. I cannot fully grasp it. Our futures hold so much for us that we don't see, It's amazing that we even get anywhere at all. We have to trust our Lord Jesus Christ to take us where we need to be. For me, the most painful things are often the daily things that get in my hair and seem to hang about nagging at me day in and day out. Then there are those times where things just come to that dramatic and climatic standstill... your eyes vision narrows to a blackened tunnel and your heartbeat comes into your ears thumpthumpthumping like a insane drum slowing.

I hate those moments.

Yet we each have them. Whether daily or just once, we have all felt that inescapable moment if only for a second of: "Oh God, what now?"

Herein lies my pain, the pain of loss and the pain of the unknown. Both are silent and both scream at us all.

Oh God, what now?


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The unquiet of the night

Late in the night
Late in the eve
She comes to me
Shimmering

I want to touch her
Wet and desirous
But I find myself
In a pit, drowning

everything I try
I am thrown to the wolves.


Copyright 2005 by pauly hart

Indigo Dark Burn (The Dark Sonet)

Indigo Dark Burn




The Dark Sonet





By Pauly Hart




For More information, go to Paulyhart.com
or write pauly @ pauly@hotmail.com





Copyright 2003 by pauly hart





We are the brothers of destiny, and the rulers of thought
We are those inside your mind and your TV
We are the small voices in society
We are the left hand of the rulers
We are the right index finger of dictators
We are the nutritional information on your cereal box

We are the food pyramid
We are the FBI FDC NAACP IRS and the wedding cake
We will tell you what you are
We are the school system
We are the judicial system
We are NBC ABC CBS FOX and the Sunday brunch

We are those whom you forget
We are the new car commercial
We are the system you buck
We are the street evangelists
We are your funerals
We are your gods
We are your tarot cards

We are your hatred
We are the bar you love
We are the one
We control the transmission
We are
I am
Who are you

We are you in disguise

I search, and find nothing...
I soar the tides, I surf the winds...
Eternity moans and breaths unto me: nothing.
I shall continue, I shall find that lost desire.
I, Indigo, shall return.

Do you believe me?
You must.
*Evil Grin*

I know what you do not.
You will believe.

I am you looking forward
Terrible isn't it?
(gleeful giggle)
You will die with me
I am you in disguise

(caged in a thousand tons of granite)

I, Angel!
Bright flurried starflyer
Seeing your soul
Seeing your eyes

Your eyes are shut
Mine are crusted
but i see more than you
I am knowledge
I am power
I am...

lost

i... feel so lost
i feel?
i have been around
humans too long

all power is no power
compared to you
*thoughtful muse*
humans are immune
when choice becomes them

Do you believe me?
*Angst smile*

Angel bright, a wonder.
I come from Bolivia... to here, to hear.
Do you believe me?
*Frustrated smirk*
Demon knight, wonder love.
I come from yonder, to find life.

I reach, I preach, I forget nothing.
I am infinity, I am the universe.

(they came long far ago)
(they been here ever since)

Dark burn... I, Indigo
I ever search... I am infinity
I started in the mind.
I started in Bolivia.
You must believe me.
I am no angel.
{Hateful smile}
Only a dark one.

I think that I feel like a zombie
all these years that I walk alone
I look for places i've never been to
give me something that I need
bet what it is I do not know

I kill for knowledge lusting for more
I feel life but am blind, deaf, dumb
Life death light dark you me them
temptation

Lift the Crypt at the gates
I am a zombie
A shadow of things that are
past and discouraged

I am kissing your thoughts
wondering if you see me
I want to taste you


I take bodies
down to the pit
and chew
yum



Underscored am I
forsaken I am
- lucid smile -
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind

I shall burn
forever
< disquieting grin >
I do not mind
it so much

for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me
forever

I will sharpen my wits
I will ascend
I will become that which I worship
I will I will I will to will
I shall achieve all glory
I shall reckon with the Creator
I shall become His master
I shall be above

I am perfect in all I am
I am the un-created one
I am the image of me
I am that which I think I am
I will sit on the throne
I will come off the stool
I will be above
I will be god

Discover more to life
He says
He says discover
Lord we call him...
of flies... maggots... worms
#forlorn shrug#
then i am a maggot
"Yesss, Baaal."
we say, we envision
his brain sucked dry


(are you getting this?)

there is no order, only chaos
and death and the smell of rotting
and bile and fire and film and fire and bracken
and larva hatching in your ears

i hate my job
except for it led me to you

(chained)
(bound)
(and)
(enslaved)

^satisfied gurgle^

every time you look at me
every glimpse I catch of you
you say that no good thing is free
no my friend this is not true

death it comes to those who wait

for those who hang on every word
i know that i cannot compete
for suffering is in your place

doomed to wail
doomed to fail
doomed to fall into my sins
doomed to follow
doomed to wait
doomed to sit through my mistakes

follow you through miry words
follow you at every turn
you often give me what i need
I despise these bridges burned
humor comes rarely ever now
And no one bends to listen
I'll take you to my promised land
for i seek to know you

hear my heart
take my complaint
come and do as i have done
for i am burning
i am shamed
i will wallow in my own fate

fear is unsolicited
anger burns within
i shall let them have their hold
i am doomed to sin
create a hate for beauty now
I do not get what i can't afford
I have all my indescrepancies
and i seem to be...

Twisting...
Oh, I can twist!
Twisting is the only thing I have been good at
For many many years.
The ability to twist. To lie.
To believe.
Believe in a lie.

(wracking their souls for freedom)
(they came long time ago)
(they've be here a long time now)

>annoying giggle<


Lord of the maggots and Lord of the flies
Lord of no Lords but Lord of your life

I WILL CONTROL YOU.

I love to be in control of things
To deceive is the greatest gift of all
To take a perfectly straight lie
And twist it into a truth
///I did not say THE truth... did i///

+forceful laugh+

I am truth
I am a lie
Truth is a lie
Lies are the truth

Hahahahahaha

I have traveled the stars
to bring you this wisdom

I am your nightmare

the
nighttime sleeper

evening weeps and thinks
destruction nears and bleeds
nighttime sleeps

I am aroused by the new moon.
A lifeless circle of black.
I am aroused and awakened.
I am the wolf on the hunt.
No one sees my invisible shape.
I am the wolf in the shadows.
I am betrayed by the starlight.
The cosmos stretches dizziness.
I am deceived and detained.
I am the Nighttime-Lord.
King of Vampires.

I love the dark.
I probe.

nighttime awakens
hungry red eyes
search feel and probe
nighttime awakens

probe search
probe find
search probe
search find

find probe
find search
find you

capture you
captures you
i capture
i will catch you

i am vampiric
i am form
i am demon
i will catch you
yum yum


(screaming)
(writhing)
(and)
(imprisoned)

Stars before me, Light behind.
Faster, faster, I burn, I travel and fly.
Angel bright. Busied Starflyer.

I Indigo, like Merlin, foresee all.
I see all, know all dark thoughts.

I know all energies
I know your energy
Your thoughts

I feel your energy
pulse though my head
as I think about your soul
while "she" is away

I hear voices
in my head
but they are only those that
i choose to ignore

Power lines stretch
extension cords elongate
speaker wires surround
outlets all around

I want something that
only comes in dreams
and in motion picture films
like the most recent Star Wars

The force is something intangible
or so Yoda says it is so
but if you can feel it all around you
then why can't you touch it?

I feel and realize and subside and control
i want and need and desire
i kill and maim and destroy for lust
but what is it unless there is energy

Energy enwrapped my fabric and core
lust and energy and force and power
surround ensue envelop enrapture
all around and i feel it now i think

I want your energy

|Lustful Drool|


I stand in darks path, I... Indigo.
I search for lost hope.
I've started in Bolivia...
And have been lead here.

(listening to you sleep)
(they wake now from the graves)
(wanting to feed again)

Lead to the Disjoined States of the Americas.
Where Money is god of gods.
The almighty whore.

Whore of Babylon.
You writhe in septic juice.
Mammon Messiah.
Articulate the Kings Purse.
The Dollar.
Almighty Greenback of Strife.

Carry away.
All true wealth of Soul.
You are the Cream of Desire.
Blackest of Night.
Breakfast of Crime.
How They love you.
How I love you.

(seething)
(searching)
(and)
(enfleshed)
(listening to you cry)

I have realized that life givers and life takers.
are very closely joined together.

These co-dependant
recyclers leech and love, and take and give.

I think that we need to put these two in their place.
The givers always seem to have nothing,

and the takers seem to have it all together.
They have what they want, what they need

and all but what they desire.
For what they desire is nothing good.

What they want is the struggle of flesh.
They desire the undesirables of Gods heart.

These are the leeches... and they...

They are my kind of people.

I came to you to tell you
To tell you of a Hate
A Hate that burn my soul
A Hate for all you are
I hate you and shall
Nibble on your knees in Hell
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... but I am a lost cause...

(demon nephilim)
(calling out)

Underscored am I
forsaken I am

> lucid smile <
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind
I shall burn
forever
- disquieting grin -

I do not mind
it so much
for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me
forever
in fear

(through the)
(pentagram)
(of your minds)
(third eye)

I love fear...
Fear captivates ones' soul
Feeling the forged iron of adrenaline
When you dream of monsters

Become the monster you dream of
Destroying faith and hope
Hell on the Earth
When you dream like this
Fear is the lover of Devils
The lover of Satan's cream

Fear captivates ones soul
Freeing deaths hold opening the box
so you no longer believe in...

...

>dark smile<

Jesus

>an even darker laugh<
>lots of chewing noises<

(listening to you pray)
(demon nephilim)

And here we shall sit
The mutant misfit
Demon and Man
Joined at the hip

You could turn away from me
You could choose another path

You will not, deep in a rut
I cannot. I am forever stuck
You are the one who sucks
I wallow in your sinful muck

Ohhh,
I wish...

I was renewed
My future now seems
ill favored and bleak
I wish I believed
*grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........*

Damn Satan!
Why is he the one
Damn Satan!
We will not win...

WHY TAKE ME WITH YOU?!?
HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH?!?

I scream at night
I am condemned
To lie beneath
To feel the bends

There is no one
Who'll cure my sin
For I am demon
Nephilim

Neither fear nor shame
No quest or map
No hopeless leap
Of questioned crap

I am in anguish
I am in pain
I lie awake now
My strength gone again

Where is my hope
Where is my gain
Why do I lose so
With going insane

Why do I know this
And do not abstain
Why is my souls fear
in bursting with flames

I am the evil one
I am not the sane
Where is my healing
Why am I vain

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

Useless
tasteless...
now gone
my eyes
water
in the smoke

I watch now
with ears
gone deaf
my hands
suspended far
above me
in testimony

in sacrifice
to lord Satan...
I am impaled
through the
stomach
my rotted tongue
eaten by crawlies...

I, Dark Burn
the ungrateful dead
ending my life
as I ended others...
and lord Satan
laughs...

for I, his puppet

performed well.
Damn my Lord Satan...
Like I have damned me...

Demon night. Starflyer. Starflyer.
I... Indigo, burn this past.

I will believe it no longer.
Belief? Ha. Belief in the morning star...
Expulsion. Separation.
Forget the past,
I want to know the future

I study this future, and the now.
Do you believe that I search?
Listen and believe.

[ Disgusted grin ]

Stop doubting, listen... believe.
I am infinity, and I search it through.
I angel bright, fly along steadily.
Searching... ever searching... searching.

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

I find out fear
In peoples eyes

In YOURS.

It stands out wide
And hair stands affright
A salad bar of doom
The buffet of the damned

My vision fades with them
They are the scarlet shadows
I am the whore of Babylon
They scream into the night

There is no hope for me.
But the knowledge is there.
I ever foresee and search.
There is none for me.
No forgiveness for demons.
Do you believe me?
/ Hopeless sigh
You dream of dreams
You hope of hope
You fill the void
You've placed within
You cannot cope

(to do their bidding)

Evil surrounds me
Love comes and chokes me
I, benefactor of all I see

Nothing surrounds me.

It's all the same
You've lived a joke
You flunk the test
You took to score
You dropped the ball

but

Darkness surrounds me.

You failed me now
You are a joke
You're arbitrary
Life's lost on you
You are insane

Nothing is heaven
Black comes around me
I, Inheritor of all I see

Hatred surrounds me

(and join them)

~ Dark Grin ~

Do you see?
We win!

(Are you getting this?)

But no...

You human kind dream
Of life so free and nice
When all you really know
Are feelings shod with ice
I know you more than you
I recognize you in sleep

Watching ever faithfully
A Kosmocrateraus is me
Fun is evil and the same
Is Evil fun for me
I cannot be the judge of sane
For Indigo is my name

Fun in evil is my soul
And wretchedness is you
For I alone will hold you near
When Satan comes for you
Do not be deceived my love
Christians have their hope
(JESUSYHWHELSHADDI)
And decadence, sloth and decay
are found on MTV

I cannot be the judge of sane
Dark Burn is my name

I will see this through

but my fate
with my lord
will I suffer
forever

Won't you come with me?

^wicked laugh^

no forgiveness
come with me

no mercy
come with me

no hope
come with me

(to hell)

-----------------

Jesus Northstar

Guide me ever onward Father
Touch me with your wondrous might
Pull me like you pull your compass
Treat me like you treat your children

Jesus Northstar, guide me onward

Electric Life, I'm charged with your love
Give me signs that I'm on course
Hold me, touch me with wholeness
Bring me closer to your fire

Store me in your life-sized wonder
Break me on your rocky shore
Hold me till the noon-tide washes
shield me in every way

Tighten jigs and pull them tautly
Batten hatches in my soul
Trim the sails and hold them steady
Pull me into life's' hard tide

Jesus Northstar, pull me ever

Jesus Northstar, your my light.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

"Forever friend"

Friends I have had
friends I have known
But where is the friend
who has seen me and grown
For friendship it seems
is seldom indeed
Cause friends are forever
in want or in need
And you my dear friend
Who now hold my heart
Shall I never forsake
and never depart

Oh take me away
my friend and my love
And sing me the song
that feels like a hug
And whisper to me
Your secrets unknown
You are the one
whom I love and I know
You own my smile
Forever and true
Here is my heart
I give it to you


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Footprints on the Hart

Tiny footprints
Large footprints on my heart
Footprints by lovers
Footprints by my friends
Footprints I needed
And those I did not
I have been stepped on
Kicked
Massaged by Birkenstocks
And punctured by cleats
Footprints of love
Joy, pain and laughter
I see my life
By the marks they have made
My ups and my downs
My goods and my bads
Footprints of Jesus
All over my head
Footprints of her
Alone in my bed
I know his feet
Were shod inside peace
I know those toes
Were trusted indeed
For I am not stepped on
A doormat, am not
But my heart is open
For love and for hate
Footprints you say
How common is that
A footprint is dusty
And dust gets in cracks
So every inside part
Of my life
Has been muddied
And dustied and crudied
By mud
For tears, sweat and blood
Have made the dust wet
And footprints are left
All alone in the muck
And footprints are all
That matters to me
Footprints of you
Footprints of me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Girl

Girl part one


She sat there making a list
onto her notebook
from her cellphone
and scrolling, and scrolling
then a yawn
I wonder if in another life
I could have worked up the nerve
to say hello
nope


Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

---------------------------

Girl part two


She must be waiting for someone
She is waiting
Looking towards me
Sliding off me
like easy butter, looking at the wall
Splot. You can actually hear those eyes
Looking at the empty wall
Her thoughts are empty
Her time is free
She is availible
She is bored


Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

---------------------------

Girl part three


I think that I should say hello
to this girl, but how long am I
going to stay in town to get to
know her? Well? What's the
point man? To establish
something that won't last any-
way? To begin a non-sensical
journey with a sensible soul?
Nope.


Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

---------------------------

Girl part four


Anxious. Quiet. Surreal.
Uninterested. Unwinding.
My mind is lubricated with eye fodder.
She is a vision.
She is a quest
I sojourn
(And sneek glances)
At her...
this...
the...
Holy Grail.


Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart