in line at a mega-store in a mega-mall. elderly person is asked if they want the warranty, then if they want the credit card, then if they are a rewards member.
here are my thoughts:
"i am surprised there is no "warranty warranty" to auto-extend your warranty if it runs out. you could sell it as "the safer satisfying peace of mind." you could even sell the "warranty 3" which would be an auto-renewal of the auto-renewal. and then you could DOUBLE the warranty 3, which would in effect give you five auto-backups on your warranty. the "D Warran3" would be at a super low price point, to where if you bought it thru the leasing program, you could effectively get 500,000 points back. The only addendum would that you would have to qualify for the new BLACK card and sign up FIVE new members to become bonus members. now... don't worry about all that, because we can simplify it all by simply stamping your forehead right now with the mark of the beast."
why is the store in charge?
when i purchase something, i like to begin with:
"ALL I NEED ARE [these batteries or one coke and a hamburger or whatever]."
to which they reply: "alright, would you like [a battery tester or some cinnamon-crunchies or whatever] with that?"
to which i reply: "ALL I NEED ARE [these batteries or one coke and a burrito or whatever]."
once at mcdonalds, a woman asked me if i wanted hot or mild sauce with my burrito.
"ALL I NEED ARE TWO BREAKFAST BURRITOS." was how i began the order as well as (literately) the next three sentences out of my mouth. yes. she asked me if i wanted extra stuff three times. the third time, i actually had my entire right hand, fingers pinched together and pointed towards the sky, going back and forth with each word as i spoke them, to emphasize the customer request for transaction.
dearest customer... when you are FORCED to do things at a register that you don't want to commit to... YOU HAVE A RIGHT to stop the transaction and say no.
you are not there to pander to a corporations needs. they are (in all probability) 100,000 times richer than you are.
stop the transaction.
no matter what the cute little cashier says or does... and say:
"ALL I NEED..."
and present your payment.
repeat it as many times as necessary until they learn how the english language works.
here are my thoughts:
"i am surprised there is no "warranty warranty" to auto-extend your warranty if it runs out. you could sell it as "the safer satisfying peace of mind." you could even sell the "warranty 3" which would be an auto-renewal of the auto-renewal. and then you could DOUBLE the warranty 3, which would in effect give you five auto-backups on your warranty. the "D Warran3" would be at a super low price point, to where if you bought it thru the leasing program, you could effectively get 500,000 points back. The only addendum would that you would have to qualify for the new BLACK card and sign up FIVE new members to become bonus members. now... don't worry about all that, because we can simplify it all by simply stamping your forehead right now with the mark of the beast."
why is the store in charge?
when i purchase something, i like to begin with:
"ALL I NEED ARE [these batteries or one coke and a hamburger or whatever]."
to which they reply: "alright, would you like [a battery tester or some cinnamon-crunchies or whatever] with that?"
to which i reply: "ALL I NEED ARE [these batteries or one coke and a burrito or whatever]."
once at mcdonalds, a woman asked me if i wanted hot or mild sauce with my burrito.
"ALL I NEED ARE TWO BREAKFAST BURRITOS." was how i began the order as well as (literately) the next three sentences out of my mouth. yes. she asked me if i wanted extra stuff three times. the third time, i actually had my entire right hand, fingers pinched together and pointed towards the sky, going back and forth with each word as i spoke them, to emphasize the customer request for transaction.
dearest customer... when you are FORCED to do things at a register that you don't want to commit to... YOU HAVE A RIGHT to stop the transaction and say no.
you are not there to pander to a corporations needs. they are (in all probability) 100,000 times richer than you are.
stop the transaction.
no matter what the cute little cashier says or does... and say:
"ALL I NEED..."
and present your payment.
repeat it as many times as necessary until they learn how the english language works.
