Good ol' Mountain Dew

At work, I get free sodas. I was partial to Mountain Dew, as I imagine many of you are, also. Since they're free, I lately find myself drinking 2 or more Mountain Dews per day. Now that Mountain Dew accounted for about half of the liquid entering my body, I decided to dew some Wikipediaing, just to see what I was dewing to myself.


Carbonated Water
About as neutral as regular water.
There are a few additives that have little-to-no health side effects or benefits.

High Fructose Corn Syrup
High fructose corn syrup is about half and half glucose and fructose.
Probably one of the worst FDA-approved substances you can put through your body.
Used instead of real cane sugar because it's cheaper and has a longer shelf-life.
Increases risk for cardiovascular disease.
Causes obesity "in lab rats".

Concentrated orange juice and other natural flavors and Citric acid
Hooray for Vitamin C.
Vitamin C forms Benzene (which can cause cancer) when combined with Sodium Benzoate. Let's just hope we don't accidentally eat or drink anything with Sodium Benzoate in it!

Sodium Benzoate
Preserves Freshness by killing stuff.
Works only in substances with a pH less than 3.6
Hooray for Benzene.

Is a drug
Actually has benefits in moderation
When overused, causes anxiety, insomnia, headaches, heart palpitations, ulcers, and acid reflux.

Sodium citrate
Adds sourness
Is a buffering agent (helps maintain pH)
Is a laxative

Gum Arabic
Not entirely sure why it's in my drink. For texture maybe?

Erythorbic acid
Nothing interesting to note about this one. "Preserves Freshness". Okay.

Calcium Disodium EDTA
This is an attempt to stop the sodium benzoate and citric acid reaction from forming benzene mentioned earlier. But seriously, there's something inherently troubling about drinking a concoction of poison and antidote in juuuuust the right proportion.

Brominated Vegetable Oil vegetable oil with bromine bonded to it. Wouldn't have guessed.
Bromine gives mountain dew its cloudy appearance.
Brominated Vegetable Oil in large amounts causes hallucinations, seizures, depression, memory loss, and other great brain-related hilarities.

Yellow 5
Contrary to popular belief, Yellow 5 does not affect the size of genitalia.
Yellow 5 is the least of your worries at this point.

Needless to say that the free Welch's Orchard fruit juice sitting across from the Mountain Dew is looking much more appealing now.