I would rather die chasing my dreams.

I would rather die chasing my dreams.

Pauly Hart


As many of you know, for the last several years I have been very productive at making several different art projects and am currently working on my first novel. I have wanted to supplement my life with career choices that promoted creativity and growth, but have not been able to, due to circumstances.

I have been working thirty hours a week at a major retail department store in the mornings and then thirty hours a week at a major grocery store chain in the evenings and, while it has been rewarding financially, has not been anything that I would have considered to be life-altering and career building.

Many of you know that I attended Seminary at the bright young age of eighteen and went on to do many great things for Churches around the Oklahoma and Indiana area with regards to youth groups and children's ministries, but got out of it after a bitter divorce. At the turn of the millennium, I ventured off to discover, learn and become an artist and have done all that I set out to do in that part of my life.

I got caught up doing other things for a while and made some terrible decisions regarding my career after I left the artsy area of Oklahoma, working with an almost famous and pretty successful painter as well as a musician/producer of note. Things were good and life was great until I lost perspective and stayed at the JOBS that I was at just to make money, ignoring the CAREER that was feeding my spirit. I figured: "Hey, I can just DO THIS WORK and go home and make art." instead of doing something that I love and getting blessed, rewarded and paid all at the same time... and THEN go home to make art.

After many hard lessons, I know the difference. Firstly, I now know where my true talents lie and want to make the most of it. I am tired of my moms shadow looming over me from the grave of nineteen years telling me that art was a waste of time and that I should succeed at being a salesman. I know, that, as she looks down from heaven, she would approve of me being with people, making a true difference, and working towards the goals that Jesus set for my life... not some jacked up advice from her former nervous, anxious self. But I loved her and wanted her to be proud of me, so I did sales and hated it.

I love art, people, nature and technology, and now, with a fresh head on my shoulders, I leave the  sales world and venture off into the world of helping people. Two days ago, I was a clerk and a cashier and a salesman. Today I started my new job as a camp counselor at a Christian Day Camp.

I built a fire, boiled snow, played frisbee, told stories, played chaos-ball (a form of quidditch), watched you-tube videos, played charades, ate chili, sled down a hill, took tours, talked photography, and got to sing a lot of songs with a great guys and gals from all over the United States (one from Alaska, one from New York City) and generally had a blast.

And now I am home and have typed a thousand words in my upcoming book.

My body is tired, my concentration is shot, my eyes are bleary, my fingers... are... well, you get the picture. But my heart? My spirit? My mind? Encouraged, filled and ready for another day.

So, tomorrow when I wake up, bright and early (in around six hours) will I find myself yearning for my job? No. For I believe that I am chasing my career.

For I would rather die chasing my dreams than stay stagnant in a pool of contentment.