twinkies will never die

pauly hart
sunday, november 25th 2012

the most annoying thing about twinkies is that there is nothing annoying about them.

they made us laugh in die-hard, they made us smile in school. they are the most wonderfully squishily-sweet treat on the market and the smart investor will seize the twinkie immediately.

do you remember crayola? before 1984, binney & smith had a small market with their one major product. the crayon. after they sold to hallmark, suddenly licencing went thru the roof and there were a slew of products with the crayola name on them. it was madness. i remember walking into the drug-store as a child and seeing the first ever crayola markers, stamps and pencils. i was overwhelmed and blown away by all the choices. good-bye garbage-pail kids... hello crayola scratch-and-sniff stickers!

this is what will happen with twinkie.

you now have the somewhat moist and oily mushy sweet treat seeing a new possible future.


the licencing of the twinkie will follow this simple story:

disney buys twinkies.
twinkies gets a revamp.
dreamworks buys licence to shrek twinkies giving rise to
shrek, donkey, puss (with chocolate dipped boots) and gingerbread man twinkies
tron twinkies come out in select markets
the princess twinkies 8 pack hits the shelf
chocolate dipped twinkies are packaged
twinkie cake-sickle fun bakery is introduced
and a thousand other ideas.

there is a new wave coming and it's name is twinkie. the zombie apocalypse will never occur because there are too many capitalists out there to stop it.