The unquiet of the night

Late in the night
Late in the eve
She comes to me

I want to touch her
Wet and desirous
But I find myself
In a pit, drowning

everything I try
I am thrown to the wolves.

Copyright 2005 by pauly hart

Indigo Dark Burn (The Dark Sonet)

Indigo Dark Burn

The Dark Sonet

By Pauly Hart

For More information, go to
or write pauly @

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

We are the brothers of destiny, and the rulers of thought
We are those inside your mind and your TV
We are the small voices in society
We are the left hand of the rulers
We are the right index finger of dictators
We are the nutritional information on your cereal box

We are the food pyramid
We are the FBI FDC NAACP IRS and the wedding cake
We will tell you what you are
We are the school system
We are the judicial system
We are NBC ABC CBS FOX and the Sunday brunch

We are those whom you forget
We are the new car commercial
We are the system you buck
We are the street evangelists
We are your funerals
We are your gods
We are your tarot cards

We are your hatred
We are the bar you love
We are the one
We control the transmission
We are
I am
Who are you

We are you in disguise

I search, and find nothing...
I soar the tides, I surf the winds...
Eternity moans and breaths unto me: nothing.
I shall continue, I shall find that lost desire.
I, Indigo, shall return.

Do you believe me?
You must.
*Evil Grin*

I know what you do not.
You will believe.

I am you looking forward
Terrible isn't it?
(gleeful giggle)
You will die with me
I am you in disguise

(caged in a thousand tons of granite)

I, Angel!
Bright flurried starflyer
Seeing your soul
Seeing your eyes

Your eyes are shut
Mine are crusted
but i see more than you
I am knowledge
I am power
I am...


i... feel so lost
i feel?
i have been around
humans too long

all power is no power
compared to you
*thoughtful muse*
humans are immune
when choice becomes them

Do you believe me?
*Angst smile*

Angel bright, a wonder.
I come from Bolivia... to here, to hear.
Do you believe me?
*Frustrated smirk*
Demon knight, wonder love.
I come from yonder, to find life.

I reach, I preach, I forget nothing.
I am infinity, I am the universe.

(they came long far ago)
(they been here ever since)

Dark burn... I, Indigo
I ever search... I am infinity
I started in the mind.
I started in Bolivia.
You must believe me.
I am no angel.
{Hateful smile}
Only a dark one.

I think that I feel like a zombie
all these years that I walk alone
I look for places i've never been to
give me something that I need
bet what it is I do not know

I kill for knowledge lusting for more
I feel life but am blind, deaf, dumb
Life death light dark you me them

Lift the Crypt at the gates
I am a zombie
A shadow of things that are
past and discouraged

I am kissing your thoughts
wondering if you see me
I want to taste you

I take bodies
down to the pit
and chew

Underscored am I
forsaken I am
- lucid smile -
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind

I shall burn
< disquieting grin >
I do not mind
it so much

for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me

I will sharpen my wits
I will ascend
I will become that which I worship
I will I will I will to will
I shall achieve all glory
I shall reckon with the Creator
I shall become His master
I shall be above

I am perfect in all I am
I am the un-created one
I am the image of me
I am that which I think I am
I will sit on the throne
I will come off the stool
I will be above
I will be god

Discover more to life
He says
He says discover
Lord we call him...
of flies... maggots... worms
#forlorn shrug#
then i am a maggot
"Yesss, Baaal."
we say, we envision
his brain sucked dry

(are you getting this?)

there is no order, only chaos
and death and the smell of rotting
and bile and fire and film and fire and bracken
and larva hatching in your ears

i hate my job
except for it led me to you


^satisfied gurgle^

every time you look at me
every glimpse I catch of you
you say that no good thing is free
no my friend this is not true

death it comes to those who wait

for those who hang on every word
i know that i cannot compete
for suffering is in your place

doomed to wail
doomed to fail
doomed to fall into my sins
doomed to follow
doomed to wait
doomed to sit through my mistakes

follow you through miry words
follow you at every turn
you often give me what i need
I despise these bridges burned
humor comes rarely ever now
And no one bends to listen
I'll take you to my promised land
for i seek to know you

hear my heart
take my complaint
come and do as i have done
for i am burning
i am shamed
i will wallow in my own fate

fear is unsolicited
anger burns within
i shall let them have their hold
i am doomed to sin
create a hate for beauty now
I do not get what i can't afford
I have all my indescrepancies
and i seem to be...

Oh, I can twist!
Twisting is the only thing I have been good at
For many many years.
The ability to twist. To lie.
To believe.
Believe in a lie.

(wracking their souls for freedom)
(they came long time ago)
(they've be here a long time now)

>annoying giggle<

Lord of the maggots and Lord of the flies
Lord of no Lords but Lord of your life


I love to be in control of things
To deceive is the greatest gift of all
To take a perfectly straight lie
And twist it into a truth
///I did not say THE truth... did i///

+forceful laugh+

I am truth
I am a lie
Truth is a lie
Lies are the truth


I have traveled the stars
to bring you this wisdom

I am your nightmare

nighttime sleeper

evening weeps and thinks
destruction nears and bleeds
nighttime sleeps

I am aroused by the new moon.
A lifeless circle of black.
I am aroused and awakened.
I am the wolf on the hunt.
No one sees my invisible shape.
I am the wolf in the shadows.
I am betrayed by the starlight.
The cosmos stretches dizziness.
I am deceived and detained.
I am the Nighttime-Lord.
King of Vampires.

I love the dark.
I probe.

nighttime awakens
hungry red eyes
search feel and probe
nighttime awakens

probe search
probe find
search probe
search find

find probe
find search
find you

capture you
captures you
i capture
i will catch you

i am vampiric
i am form
i am demon
i will catch you
yum yum


Stars before me, Light behind.
Faster, faster, I burn, I travel and fly.
Angel bright. Busied Starflyer.

I Indigo, like Merlin, foresee all.
I see all, know all dark thoughts.

I know all energies
I know your energy
Your thoughts

I feel your energy
pulse though my head
as I think about your soul
while "she" is away

I hear voices
in my head
but they are only those that
i choose to ignore

Power lines stretch
extension cords elongate
speaker wires surround
outlets all around

I want something that
only comes in dreams
and in motion picture films
like the most recent Star Wars

The force is something intangible
or so Yoda says it is so
but if you can feel it all around you
then why can't you touch it?

I feel and realize and subside and control
i want and need and desire
i kill and maim and destroy for lust
but what is it unless there is energy

Energy enwrapped my fabric and core
lust and energy and force and power
surround ensue envelop enrapture
all around and i feel it now i think

I want your energy

|Lustful Drool|

I stand in darks path, I... Indigo.
I search for lost hope.
I've started in Bolivia...
And have been lead here.

(listening to you sleep)
(they wake now from the graves)
(wanting to feed again)

Lead to the Disjoined States of the Americas.
Where Money is god of gods.
The almighty whore.

Whore of Babylon.
You writhe in septic juice.
Mammon Messiah.
Articulate the Kings Purse.
The Dollar.
Almighty Greenback of Strife.

Carry away.
All true wealth of Soul.
You are the Cream of Desire.
Blackest of Night.
Breakfast of Crime.
How They love you.
How I love you.

(listening to you cry)

I have realized that life givers and life takers.
are very closely joined together.

These co-dependant
recyclers leech and love, and take and give.

I think that we need to put these two in their place.
The givers always seem to have nothing,

and the takers seem to have it all together.
They have what they want, what they need

and all but what they desire.
For what they desire is nothing good.

What they want is the struggle of flesh.
They desire the undesirables of Gods heart.

These are the leeches... and they...

They are my kind of people.

I came to you to tell you
To tell you of a Hate
A Hate that burn my soul
A Hate for all you are
I hate you and shall
Nibble on your knees in Hell
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... but I am a lost cause...

(demon nephilim)
(calling out)

Underscored am I
forsaken I am

> lucid smile <
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind
I shall burn
- disquieting grin -

I do not mind
it so much
for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me
in fear

(through the)
(of your minds)
(third eye)

I love fear...
Fear captivates ones' soul
Feeling the forged iron of adrenaline
When you dream of monsters

Become the monster you dream of
Destroying faith and hope
Hell on the Earth
When you dream like this
Fear is the lover of Devils
The lover of Satan's cream

Fear captivates ones soul
Freeing deaths hold opening the box
so you no longer believe in...


>dark smile<


>an even darker laugh<
>lots of chewing noises<

(listening to you pray)
(demon nephilim)

And here we shall sit
The mutant misfit
Demon and Man
Joined at the hip

You could turn away from me
You could choose another path

You will not, deep in a rut
I cannot. I am forever stuck
You are the one who sucks
I wallow in your sinful muck

I wish...

I was renewed
My future now seems
ill favored and bleak
I wish I believed

Damn Satan!
Why is he the one
Damn Satan!
We will not win...


I scream at night
I am condemned
To lie beneath
To feel the bends

There is no one
Who'll cure my sin
For I am demon

Neither fear nor shame
No quest or map
No hopeless leap
Of questioned crap

I am in anguish
I am in pain
I lie awake now
My strength gone again

Where is my hope
Where is my gain
Why do I lose so
With going insane

Why do I know this
And do not abstain
Why is my souls fear
in bursting with flames

I am the evil one
I am not the sane
Where is my healing
Why am I vain

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

now gone
my eyes
in the smoke

I watch now
with ears
gone deaf
my hands
suspended far
above me
in testimony

in sacrifice
to lord Satan...
I am impaled
through the
my rotted tongue
eaten by crawlies...

I, Dark Burn
the ungrateful dead
ending my life
as I ended others...
and lord Satan

for I, his puppet

performed well.
Damn my Lord Satan...
Like I have damned me...

Demon night. Starflyer. Starflyer.
I... Indigo, burn this past.

I will believe it no longer.
Belief? Ha. Belief in the morning star...
Expulsion. Separation.
Forget the past,
I want to know the future

I study this future, and the now.
Do you believe that I search?
Listen and believe.

[ Disgusted grin ]

Stop doubting, listen... believe.
I am infinity, and I search it through.
I angel bright, fly along steadily.
Searching... ever searching... searching.

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

I find out fear
In peoples eyes


It stands out wide
And hair stands affright
A salad bar of doom
The buffet of the damned

My vision fades with them
They are the scarlet shadows
I am the whore of Babylon
They scream into the night

There is no hope for me.
But the knowledge is there.
I ever foresee and search.
There is none for me.
No forgiveness for demons.
Do you believe me?
/ Hopeless sigh
You dream of dreams
You hope of hope
You fill the void
You've placed within
You cannot cope

(to do their bidding)

Evil surrounds me
Love comes and chokes me
I, benefactor of all I see

Nothing surrounds me.

It's all the same
You've lived a joke
You flunk the test
You took to score
You dropped the ball


Darkness surrounds me.

You failed me now
You are a joke
You're arbitrary
Life's lost on you
You are insane

Nothing is heaven
Black comes around me
I, Inheritor of all I see

Hatred surrounds me

(and join them)

~ Dark Grin ~

Do you see?
We win!

(Are you getting this?)

But no...

You human kind dream
Of life so free and nice
When all you really know
Are feelings shod with ice
I know you more than you
I recognize you in sleep

Watching ever faithfully
A Kosmocrateraus is me
Fun is evil and the same
Is Evil fun for me
I cannot be the judge of sane
For Indigo is my name

Fun in evil is my soul
And wretchedness is you
For I alone will hold you near
When Satan comes for you
Do not be deceived my love
Christians have their hope
And decadence, sloth and decay
are found on MTV

I cannot be the judge of sane
Dark Burn is my name

I will see this through

but my fate
with my lord
will I suffer

Won't you come with me?

^wicked laugh^

no forgiveness
come with me

no mercy
come with me

no hope
come with me

(to hell)


Jesus Northstar

Guide me ever onward Father
Touch me with your wondrous might
Pull me like you pull your compass
Treat me like you treat your children

Jesus Northstar, guide me onward

Electric Life, I'm charged with your love
Give me signs that I'm on course
Hold me, touch me with wholeness
Bring me closer to your fire

Store me in your life-sized wonder
Break me on your rocky shore
Hold me till the noon-tide washes
shield me in every way

Tighten jigs and pull them tautly
Batten hatches in my soul
Trim the sails and hold them steady
Pull me into life's' hard tide

Jesus Northstar, pull me ever

Jesus Northstar, your my light.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

"Forever friend"

Friends I have had
friends I have known
But where is the friend
who has seen me and grown
For friendship it seems
is seldom indeed
Cause friends are forever
in want or in need
And you my dear friend
Who now hold my heart
Shall I never forsake
and never depart

Oh take me away
my friend and my love
And sing me the song
that feels like a hug
And whisper to me
Your secrets unknown
You are the one
whom I love and I know
You own my smile
Forever and true
Here is my heart
I give it to you

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Footprints on the Hart

Tiny footprints
Large footprints on my heart
Footprints by lovers
Footprints by my friends
Footprints I needed
And those I did not
I have been stepped on
Massaged by Birkenstocks
And punctured by cleats
Footprints of love
Joy, pain and laughter
I see my life
By the marks they have made
My ups and my downs
My goods and my bads
Footprints of Jesus
All over my head
Footprints of her
Alone in my bed
I know his feet
Were shod inside peace
I know those toes
Were trusted indeed
For I am not stepped on
A doormat, am not
But my heart is open
For love and for hate
Footprints you say
How common is that
A footprint is dusty
And dust gets in cracks
So every inside part
Of my life
Has been muddied
And dustied and crudied
By mud
For tears, sweat and blood
Have made the dust wet
And footprints are left
All alone in the muck
And footprints are all
That matters to me
Footprints of you
Footprints of me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part one

She sat there making a list
onto her notebook
from her cellphone
and scrolling, and scrolling
then a yawn
I wonder if in another life
I could have worked up the nerve
to say hello

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part two

She must be waiting for someone
She is waiting
Looking towards me
Sliding off me
like easy butter, looking at the wall
Splot. You can actually hear those eyes
Looking at the empty wall
Her thoughts are empty
Her time is free
She is availible
She is bored

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part three

I think that I should say hello
to this girl, but how long am I
going to stay in town to get to
know her? Well? What's the
point man? To establish
something that won't last any-
way? To begin a non-sensical
journey with a sensible soul?

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part four

Anxious. Quiet. Surreal.
Uninterested. Unwinding.
My mind is lubricated with eye fodder.
She is a vision.
She is a quest
I sojourn
(And sneek glances)
At her...
Holy Grail.

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


"begone foul demons of the air
fly away and begone", said he.
flapping, flipping, snapping
at those pesky summer flies.

so he bought himself a flyswatter.
swat, swat, swat, swat.
now the kitchen it littered,
with dead insect carcasses.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

the bright yellow sign

it was around two in the morning
i was exhausted and sweaty
i had six dollars in change
and i pulled into the waffle
the bright yellow sign drew me...

as i walked in, i smelt it
that wonderful smell of grease
and flour and teenagers smoking
it was around two in the morning
the bright yellow sign drew me...

i sat down, and the table is sticky
with the syrup of the last customer
there's nick. i order the usual
and start with a bacon sandwich.
that bright yellow sign threw me...

plate after plate, bowl after bowl.
i really think i'm done here
but i can't stand up just yet
i'm not ready for it just yet
that bright yellow sign threw me...

it was around three in the morning
as i staggered out the door
on the way to my car, grabbing a paper
and i think that this time i'm content
that the bright yellow sign was right...

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I've traveled the world, talked to God most high
Seen what to see, enough for two lives
Don't what there was, then I did it again
Had a life full of goodness and a life life full of sin
I've had all there is, but what I couldn't find
Was someone to be there for the rest of my life

All that I needed but not what I want
I saw her pleading, her cold was now hot
She was the tool belt and I was the tool
She fucked me over and made me the fool
Needing a man for a reason or three
My love cost my life not even sex was for free

So I am here broken, pissed off and alone
You though that you owned me, set pick for the zone
But I'm not the liar, that job is all you
I still know what I want, only you are confused
You didn't want me, you just needed a man
To fit into your cage, like some master plan

But now I am free girl, unchained by your claws
You held me the hostage, put up marshal laws
You said it was money, you said I was bad
So why do your children still call me their dad
Your walking towards hell, I'm walking towards life
I'll travel the world, talk to God most high

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

horace the significant

i am not a winner, nor shall i ever be
i am not a survivor, and do not pretend
i am a coward and a loser, and care not at all
i am nothing, hear nothing, and become less

i do not matter, i am forgotten, and alone
i do nothing right, and my trials overtake me
i do not hear, speak, see or live correctly
i do not know if i will ever be happy again

i am not a person, i am only a lousy number
i am not alive, i breathe and eat and sleep
i am not here to be loved, only cheated and used
i am not significant, and my name is horace

you are a winner, and you will be much more
you are a survivor, and i can see you are honest
you are a fighter, a winner, and quite compassionate
you are worth it, you listen, and help those around you

you are important, i know you and come to you
you succeed, and never let life get you down
you are listening, you counsel and live accordingly
you are on your way to becoming the best you can be

you are valuable, i know your face by heart
you are alive, intimate and full of life and laughter
you are always loved by me, i will die for you
you are significant, and your name is cherished

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I'm hungry
I'm dying
I'm crying
I'm panting
I'm thirsting
I'm trying
I'm salivating
I'm urinating
I'm trying to
beat someone
at a "DOOM"
I'm losing
F6 is my
secret wad weapon
atomic death
in rare form

bwah hah haha...

Written in 1996
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Little Itty

Little Itty
Bitty Cat

Why oh why
did you pee on my hat?

Why wrestle shoestrings
Why eat the trash

You make me nervous
with your tiny claws

You frolic and wander
to seek and destroy

Itching and Scratching
My childrens toys

Question and wonder
Meow, plead and beg

If you don't cut it out...
I'll... ouch, dammit!

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Anger buried still smolders
Anger choked will explode
Anger kindled will burn
Burning into the ashes of forgiveness

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

myself on asian literacy

the dewy decimal system is at work in books that are in alpha-numerical order according to prefix and author and little ladies sitting behind old wooden desks with glasses on the end of their nose so do i feel a sense of history or just a minor attack of claustrophobia perhaps it is the old card system being replaced with the computer terminals or maybe it is the cd and video tape section that you can check out now i checked out a mandarin chinese audio teaching lesson once and copied it so i could learn all about how to speak the language but then i never got around to learning anything so i just ended up taking them back and checking out something else but even then i never have used them oh well i tell myself ill use it someday soon like perhaps when i go to china but ive heard stories about china like every book and especially each bible that is printed up has to be approved by the government and if its not then a prison term could follow do you know what ive heard about china as well is that in some parts of the country they dont have libraries and do you know what i think i said to myself i think ill have to pray about that

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Love is blinded

Try and stop, be my guide
Win some lose some, kiss the bride
I believe you, let me go
Kissers killers, eat the snow

There's a dichotomy I feel with you
If you take my hand I'll be yours true
Lessons take me all the while
If I listen closely I just might smile

You will be my bride Frankenstein
With my pretty white dress, you'll be mine
You will be my bride Frankenstein
With my pretty white dress, love is blind

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


The Hater and the Hated
The User and the Used
How many times and times
Must you be abused?

You push yourself to torment
She pushes you to choose
But give in or walk away
You lose, you lose, you lose.

You smother her in comfort
You smother her in touch
She doesn't want it buddy
She hates you for your love

Just walk away my friend
Don't push the solid wall
She's hurt and she will bite
You'll be punished in it all.

The manipulator she is
She punches every button
But walk away every time
She will call you in distress.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


keep on trying
without dying
make it true
don't delay
try and live
within your head
create in there
a friend: true
skip your fears
face your foes
and always think
you are the best
keep on believing
don't forget
who you are
regret nothing
forget nothing
forgive, forgive, forgive
soon you'll find
just what you need
and life will smell
like fresh cut roses
but it will still
look like thorns

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


sex with you
is something special
sex with you
is very nice
i didn't know that
we had problems
last night

so i will try
comprehend it
i will
come and tackle you
i will drive you
wild with pleasure
make you cry

have some faith
have some patience
let me warm up
to this life
sex to me is
something new
and i want to
get it right.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Fifth Pillar

(Inspired by Sun Tzu)

A table needs but four legs.
Any less and it becomes unstable.
Add another and it is always askew.

The fifth pillar need not be strong.
Only angled and similar to the rest.
At any place under the table place it.

Now your shift begins. Now you see.
Any longer and you move balance away.
Any shorter and the illusion of reliability

It is only there to ruin. The terrible pillar.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

stop means stop

he held her down
pillow wet, lights off
gripping and yelling
she wanted him off
she wanted to die
anything but this
not here, not now
oh God, save me
he hits her hard
pulls off her skirt
there is no escape
stop she says
he hits her again
stop she begs
stop means stop

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

the flower and the child

--for my amanda--

come walking in and love
come walking in
eyes and ears open to life
and universes collide in respite
with discretion and respite
sharp nosed talons of hatred
come walking in
scent and laughter wither them
with discretion and flowers
laughter sees immediately
the eyes and ears open to life
and flowers and children are common
in your wonderful kind of love
you told me i'm kind...
kind of what???
kind of scared
the kind that listens to you
and sighs with lostness
lost in your flabbergasting hope
lost in the immense joy of your smile
forever gone when you call me...
call me what???
call me sexy

copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I guess I'm stuck in Lafayette once again.
It seems like it has become a welcome friend.
I tried to leave here once with my closest friend.
But I'm stuck in Lafayette once again.

It was the first time that I met her.
She was blonde haired, freckled, tall..
Pronouncing truth just like an angel.
A Latte' dream flown in for fall.

I said: "Howdy, how ya doin?"
She said: "Fine there, How 'bout you?"
I said: "Great, I like your scar."
And she turned red from head to shoe.

Now we're northbound for St. Paul,
In the beat up Volkswagen.
'Till we broke down on the highway.
You can tell we're on the ball.

We called help, it wasn't coming.
Just our luck, it started raining.
Now the van is just a lifeboat,
And we're stuck in Lafayette.

I guess we're stuck in Lafayette once again.
It seems like pain has become our closest friend.
We tried to leave here once with nothing but a grin.
Getting stuck in Lafayette over again.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Poison Ivy

As the scream of terror wracks my convulsing body, I suddenly realize that all my efforts have been in vain to find the quiet resting spot of glory. I find that no matter how hard I try, I can never overcome the wanton disabilities of my writhing soul. I can never shake these diseased limbs to life. As I mop the chilly sweat from my brow, I realize my wrong.

Poison Ivy.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


A flower died

- I cried

I remember tricycles

- Spinning

They came and went

- And I sat

I wanted a friend

- Just one

But no one ever came

- For me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Tragedy on Kankakee

there i was on the river
tragedy and midgets
that's all i remember
fernando was trapped under
that damned log again
except this time...

we couldn't get him out
mike was accusing everyone
of killing the poor bastard
but as james informed me
shit happens everyday
and midgets die

just like the rest of us.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I'm 53

I'm fifty-three and scared,
remembering Vietnam.
I know that's where they took me,
to the concentration camp.

My birthday is on Tuesday,
just like it was back then.
I look back and remember.
that Charlie didn't care.

I was twenty-three and scared,
remembering back home.
My Father was the preacher,
of a small town Baptist church.

He told me life was precious,
He said: "Hang on to God.".
He preached that when things got bad,
God would take your hand.

I'm fifty-three and scared,
but God still lives in me.
That is what saved my soul,
when I was twenty-three.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Little Girl

You are a little girl
shrouded in beauty
enwrapped in mystery
yet you love me
because i am nice

i don't understand
why you care so much
for a little boy like me
when you have all yourself
to worry about everyday

You are alluring
A countess
A mysterious charmer
that vexes my heart bare

I am nothing you need
I am small and impure
I will hurt you
If you come too close

Yet you smile
and wiggle your toes
when i make you laugh
with my stories

Why do you love me
little girl?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


The things that you say to me
I have heard many times before
From countless lovers girl
As they're walking out the door

But I know there's a difference
Between my love and yours
Your love is the ocean
And I am the moon
I said your love is the ocean
And I am - the moon

The unfathomable chasm
From your heart to your mind
Cannot begin to love me
Cannot begin to find

That there is a vast difference
Between my love and yours
For Your love is the ocean
And I am the moon
I said your love is the ocean
And I am - the moon

I walked, I have seen
I talked, believed
In something like you
I have seen someone like you
Oh just like you
In my dreams

The things that you say to me
I have heard many times before
From countless lovers girl
As they're walking out the door

But I know there's a difference
Between my love and yours
Your love is the ocean
And I am the moon
I said your love is the ocean
And I am - the moon

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

It's ok

I feel hated, I feel used, I am angry, I am abused
It's ok, this feeling that's deep down inside
It's my anger that's reaching inside of my life

I feel cheated, abandoned, circling unlanded
I am fine in here, but not with her
It's my anger prickling like an angry cur

I feel disjointed, unloved from below to above
It's alright to be angry, I duly confess
I feel it all over, this hate I address

I feel and am pissed off about being thrown off
It is really unfair and it won't go away
I can't shake it, run or push it away

I feel angry and I know it ain't dandy
I feel angry, am seething inside my cage
I let it all go, my blame and my rage

It's ok to be angry, It's ok to feel pain
It's ok to be wrong, It's ok to take blame

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Task of the leader

Inspired by Dick Foust and the pain of all that...

Hire people smarter than you are
Find out your talents inside
Loving makes you look better
Surround yourself with free thinkers
Fear will destroy all you've worked for
Envy will destroy your company
Is it your company or Gods anyway
Encourage employees to exceed you
Don't limit your staffs imagination
Fire all of your "Yes" men
Admit your failures readily
Be a touchable and reachable person
Ask for constructive criticism
And take it like a man
Listen and understand, don't assume
Delegate responsibility don't dump
Don't use people, let them feel useable
Trust and be secure in your work force

You know, it's amazing what
can be accomplished, when you
never worry about who gets the credit

Public Domain

ode to skylight coffeehouse

oh coffeeshop the beautiful
oh coffeeshop the drinks
oh lovely old place
to kick up my feet

if ever the latte
if ever the vibe
i would take up my shelter
and call you my tribe

i love this old place
it's stolen my heart
if ever i left you
i would fall apart

while i type and ponder
of what this all means
i whiff the aroma
of freshly ground beans

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
More Wind and another Breath of God

The dawn broke
out over the town
and the trees celebrated
the glory of it

The day cried out
Here I am
and the fog lifted
despising it

The birds sang happily
and sun streamed into
my musty bedroom
illuminating it

And I awoke
remembering the past
and the dreams vanished
like the night-time

The day was upon me
The moon had vanished
and the glory of God
had been reborn
upon the Earth
once again

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
He was Gods child

He had dirty hands, and matted hair.
He was a poor boy who wore clothes with holes.
He slept in a small cardboard box.
And he always sang the blues.

But he was Gods child.

She wore thick glasses and had freckles.
She had pony tails and wore braces.
She was pear shaped with unsightly wrinkles.
She wore orthopedic shoes with a bad aroma.

But she was Gods child.

He had an ugly face and had grubby hands,
He was a poor boy from a large family.
He didn't have many friends, he was misunderstood.
He hung upon a cross, pierced between two ugly thieves.

But He was Gods child.

Yes, He was Gods child.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Breath of God

As dawn breaks, the new day
skips over the cloud tops breathing.
"How can you breathe?" I ask the day.
"I breathe because the Lord has first breathed me."

As morning wakes, the meadowlark sings
his morning song of happiness and joy.
"How can you sing?" I ask the lark.
"I sing because the Lord has first sung me."

As the sun rays shine, the morning dew
shines itself upon me.
"How can you shine?" I ask the dew.
"I shine because the Lord has first shone me."

And as night falls, I, already asleep on my bed,
forget the beauty that the Lord gives each day.
"How could I have forgotten?" I ask the Lord.
"You forgot because you first forgot me."

But still on me, the Lord . . .
Breathes, sings, and shines.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Free to decide

Fearless and free we change ourselves
to become more than we could have imagined
Our lives become a small stone
Washed upon the shore of limitless supply
As we stand in the horizon of our fortune
And look back on accomplishments forsaken
We mentally see our past and imagine a future
Less provocative than we have ever seen
Full of choice and futile hope we realize
that the choices desired are often destroyed
Fearless and free We free ourselves
Fearless and free we heal ourselves
Let no man rule your destiny
Let no man rule your life

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Red Haired Wonder

I've come to you my friend
Dealing with life is such uncertainty
You are my nearest love
A vacuum of inner despondency
I want to know your soul
Your wire frame is just not on my mind
The life behind your eyes
Betrays the pursed-lipped smile on your face.

You are a drifter girl.
A wind rider with broken reigns.

A horse in a thunder storm.
Lightning and sea-foam

drip from your hooves.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
love came over

love came over for tea
and sat down with me
it came over for tea it did
and i did not expect it

love came over for tea
and all i had was water
but it did not mind
for it was love

and you know how love can be

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Across these newly whited plains
I see a distant hawk
The feather falls from its plume
like a tear
the harvest is plentiful
I hear the pasture lands
And Rich is in the background
with his hammered dulcimer
Lines of energy stretch
where trees should stand
and barbed wire hems in
the beauty of the stampede
for church-goers and party-throwers
they are the same
joy falls from their lips like rain

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
fulcrum shift

i was displaced and was moved
by the power you showed,
i was knocked down by the
shear force of your blow.

i was taken, and was shaken
by the power that you gave,
i was taken back by the
utter elegance of soul.

you, who shifted the heavens
now move me.
you, who cast the stars into place
now change me.

i was swallowed in your relentless
and all consuming love for me.

and i love you, and i return.

fulcrum shift.
the power of you.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
greener ][
(happiness where you should be)
-prompted by Grant Campbell

said one goat to the cow
"i shall travel there one day"
and lived his life on

said one hermit to the vagabond
"i shall make my mark yet"
and lived his life on

said the president to the country
"i shall never tell a lie"
and lived his life on

said God to a world
"i shall soon come again"
and did as He said,
but they weren't ready just yet.

said a people to the Deity
"come back in a month"
and got left for the bugs.

they should have been ready.
they could have prepared.
happiness where they should be.
hell where they are.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
everything you meant

everything i was
everywhere i was going
all i wanted
was your crush
and freedom meant
all inside your love

for the wonder
and the splendor
in each caress
and each brush
of your supple lips
on my neck

supple lips
moistened tits
tender kiss
dreamers bliss
vampire tounge
heart undone
sandwich love
cripples crush

in futile ways you
played me the viola
i bent and whined
while you stroked
and plucked me
my tender heart
so generously lost

and now i flounder
so lost at the sea
dark and stormy
under purple skies
i cry day and night
for a beacon

supple lips
moistened tits
tender kiss
dreamers bliss
vampire tounge
heart undone
sandwich love
cripples crush

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Let the wash come over me
Cover me river of strength
I am weary, let me drink
I am dying, let me be

Everyone I know hates me
Get this shit off of my back
Let this noose give up some slack
These damn tears won't let me see

There is nothing I can't do
There is no one who can say
You can't help me anyway
You can't play me for the fool

Fools and demons all the same
Each one spitting in my face
All that shit goes to the grave
Even assholes know my name

I'll run away ~~~ And die
I'll run away ~~~ I'll fly
I'll run away ~~~ Won't cry
I'll run away ~~~ Don't try

And stop me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
(happiness where you are)
-inspired by Grant Campbell

i thought it was greener here
i thought it was better there
i traveled a thousand years
to protect myself from lack

i found all that life could be
i forgot my complacency
i traveled a thousand seas
to indulge myself in all

i knew there was more to life
i figured i would find it soon
i traveled a thousand thoughts
to find the ultimate place of rest

but now there is no one left
and now all my friends are gone
i'd travel a thousand deaths
to be back where i began

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Go for it

When life seems to drag you down

And life's problems make you drown

Then you should always look around

And go for it

In its simple simple way

Questions never do obey

So you look around and say

"I'll go for it."

When lifes' decisions pass you by

And all time does is fly

Don't you fret and don't you cry

Just go for it

And when seeing is not believing

You go for it

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Me and the stuff I do

She moves my hand when I touch her
She hits me when I try
She tenses when I talk abruptly
I hate it when she cries
Emotions are so wide and deep
Emotions strong and true
For logic is but lost on her
React, not respond to you
She loves me sure, but it's so often
That she hates the things I do

I get angry
I feel angry
She runs away
Life turns to small talk
Our run, now a walk
Temper, temper I tell myself
Or I'll smack her across the room
Patience, patience I yell inside
I hold it until I'm blue

She loves me sure, but it's so often
That she hates the things I do

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Pretense meant nothing to me

when I looked into her eyes

Gazing into coolness

matching spy for spy

She read my like a Bible

Chapter, book, and verse

All the words dried on my tongue

all the lines rehearsed

Pretense meant nothing

as I looked into her eyes

All I could do was think of love

and moments passed us by

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
they are back

caged in a thousand tons of granite

they came long far ago
they been here ever since

wracking their souls for freedom

they came long time ago
they be here long time now

listening to you sleep

they wake now from the graves
wanting to feed again

listening to you cry

demon nephilim
calling out
through the
of your minds
third eye

listening to you pray

demon nephilim
calling your name
calling your name
to do their bidding
and join them
in hell

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
If you say something

"If you say something

loud enough
often enough

People are

simple enough

to believe that
they can have

more than enough

of what you have

little enough of."

-Adolph Hitler

Translated loosly from the German
Form Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
(pauly hart wishes to convey no anti-Semitic feelings)
my brother

someone once bet
my brother
a ton of
if i would come
to his wedding


when i arrive
my brother
will open
a grocery store

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

She walked to the grave
Wary of bystanders
She walked

Looking down upon him
Wretched and shaking
She looked

Peaceful and quiet
he seemed
breathing relief

Not like I remember
She thought
Not at all

So vibrant and alive
Now cold as stone
Cold and dead

Witness protection
Breast implants
She saw himself

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
We control the transmission

We are the brothers of destiny, and the rulers of thought
We are those inside your mind and your TV
We are the small voices in society
We are the left hand of the rulers
We are the right index finger of dictators
We are the nutritional information on your cereal box
We are the food pyramid
We are the FBI FDC NAACP IRS and the wedding cake
We will tell you what you are
We are the school system
We are the judicial system
We are NBC ABC CBS FOX and the sunday brunch
We are those whom you forget
We are the new car commercial
We are the system you buck
We are the street evangelists
We are your funerals
We are your gods
We are your tarot cards
We are your hatred
We are the bar you love
We are the one
We control the transmission
We are I am who are you
We are you in disguise

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
things bug me

things bug me...
cigarette smoke
on a cold day
naked women
in my pure mind
hypocrites lying
instead of forgiving
people flaming
not understanding
when i get cut off
in a turn lane
when i ramble

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I met a boy named emily
who couldn't do math in his head

I fought a fight named empathy
while he figured out my check

No spoon for tea
some sugar please
oh and you forgot
the cream

Coffee and tea for three
JB and Jesus and me
and our wandering friend
named John

I sometimes think of steak and shake
and how I'd like to learn more

About proper service at a diner
and the etiquette of campers

Coffee tea or me
I can plainly see
your wisdom JB
in ordering the soup

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Never pet a burning dog
Never juggle rabid porcupines
Never toy with a polar bears emotions
Never give a stampeding elephant a pedicure
Never tickle a vomiting octopus
Never brush the teeth of a hungry shark
Never sleep next to a grumpy cobra
Never kick a grizzly bear in the eye
Never pee on a silverback gorilla

Never place a rabid squirrel down your pants
for the purposes of gambling

With thanks to the Rabid Oscillating Weasel
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Thick lips

Thick lips slur the speech that
breed lies and discrepancies
hypocrisy and lousy statements
of half truth

Thick lips make promises with a forked tongue.

Thick lips kiss well
Thick lips drip poisonous drool
making me nauseated with the stench
of a whores perfume

Thick lips conceal the truth of the vampiric bite
that drains precious life blood

these lips of ours
so thick and supple
are nothing more than slave ships
under no embargo

other than truth

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
La la la

Ayatollah has gone the way of the jackel

And the people pray to a setting soul

And wail in Farsi to revive their hearts anew

Whilst dreams die in my heart for 1989

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

on the horizon,
lightning strikes again
and falls crashing
all around
thunder rolls
and fills my lonely heart
with the swift and sure beat
of the wild ever precipitation
sweet rain and the smell of green
wet, ever so wet, rain down
come rain on me, rain
fall and pour
come down
on me
smell of rain
the scent of a new fall
I love, I crave the sound,
and feel the tang and crackle
of it all. Come rain on me rain.
animals hide, but I, much wiser
thrust my heart up to heaven
with my arms outstretched
and open up wide
my mouth and


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Dry tears

You left me naked
You left me alone
Vying for affection
And you give, give, give
Still you still stand there
With dry tears staining
Your fabric of life
Wide eyes trusting
Bright teeth smiling
You leave me helpless
I stand alone
Listening to yours
And I give, give, give
And I stand there
With hands a-folded
On my weary breast

Tired eyes closing
Dim smile fading
Won't you come to me?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Dance into the darkness

All the while I stood there waiting.
All the time you sat debating.
Would you ask me for a dance?
You did not even cast a glance.

I died for you in your place.
I cried at your sinful disgrace.
So I get shoved now out of the way.
I see your promise fade into gray.

I've given all and still I give.
You've taken all and yet you live.
Apart from me, no care, no plea.
No need you ever see for me.

I'll cry all day you've lost the way.
I'll curse the day you disobeyed.
For even though I know you well.
That blatant sin sends you to hell.

"Father" I beg, "Have mercy please".
"On those refusing to dance with me".
"Cast them not out to the left".
"Father" I cry, "Your sheep I've kept!"

(Dream on you fool while ice grows hard.
Bridging their hearts into the dark.
Dark chasms yell tormenting screams.
On fallen children I will feed!)

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Shore #12

The wake I wake is not from dream
I feel the fall, Inhale the steam
I drift the drift that lovers dare
And when I fall, you will be there

You, joy eternal are my dance
Lift me up higher than any trance
Awake inside my tides recede
Awashed anew, you are my creed

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

'what was under the bed?'
he asked himself,
over and over...
all night long.

'what was in the closet?'
she asked herself,
under the covers...
all night long.

'what was in the basement?'
they asked theirselves,
up in their rooms...
all night long.

probably something queer.

but they never found out,
because when morning came,
they went out to play,
because it was spring.

but it was something queer,
later that night.

definitely something queer.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Instructions in pentameter

One day there was a pink flower
And she desperately wanted to be blue
She held her breath for a really long time
And the pink became blue, and in turn... purple!
But then she couldn't breathe!
So she sighed with grief,
And thought "Oh well, I guess I'm pink."
...She then looked to the sky and wished...
"Maybe God will tell me why I'm pink!
And she looked to the tree to find
A note from her friend the tulip!
And it said: "If you were blue, I couldn't be,
because God made us all the way we are.
If pink became blue, there would be no more you."
And the pink flower smiled.

Lines 2-14 (evens) written by Mandie Maclean
Lines 1-15 (odds) written by Pauly
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Jerisiahs Recollection

I saw the waves crashing, rising, churning
I saw the arms older, ruddy, lifted
I saw the sea stopping, pausing, thinking
I saw the eyes question, wonder, believe.

In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I saw
in the glory of Jehovah's chosen people
in the presence of the outcast prince deliverer
in the light of the ramrod golden sun, I know.

We ran towards the divide; smiling, laughing
we felt our hearts race; cheering, laughing
we caught up our children; cheering, smiling
we were free from harm, that is what they say.

I heard the chariots, saw the smoke, the dust
I cried out the warning, gave the call, the alarm
I warned of the impending doom, felt our loss, sorrow
In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I fear.

I saw the waves stopping, pausing, lifted
I saw the arms older, ruddy, lowered
I saw the waves churning, crashing, falling
I saw the eyes question, fear, and die.

In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I believe.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Only Friend

Lives linger
Senses tingle
I feel your rain again
Somedays you shine
Brighter than life
Somedays you weep for me
Visions will drift off
Spirits will lift off
I feel your rain again
Rainbows will cheer me
But none come as dear me
You are my only friend

Rainbows will cheer me
But none come as dear me
You are my only friend

Rainbows will cheer me
But none come as dear me
You are my only friend

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I knew a woman whom I wanted
But she didn't want me...

I dreamed about her
with my hand down my pants
and messed...

And she liked me...

for one

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Change and Escape

Change is violent
Wrapping around
Clinging to me
Disarousing trial

Change comes to
Those unexpecting
Change is wicked
And hurtful and mean

Change to you
Change towards the
Future of our little
Experiment in love

Go ahead and cry
No one has hurt me
As much as you have
Girl, Go cry, Fly away

You said you wouldn't
You lied through teeth
The same that punctured
My ready willing neck

Liar. You are nothing
I am the someone
And I still hold on to me
For I am the loved one

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
The burn

Shall I never end this burning sensation?
The Lord did signs and wonders for all.
But the all forgot the all he had done.
He opened up his mouth with teachings and parables.
And we shoved our prejudice down his throat.
He trod the second mile for us.
But we tripped him and whipped him and made him bleed.
The sensation started at my hands.
I remember when he smiled at me.
And I bashed his face in with my club.
His well trimmed hair and beard.
It was in my hands in bloodied clots.
The anointed one of Israel hung from a thieves gallows.
It was my hands that nailed him there.
That burning, it scorches and gnaws at my arms.
His clothes. . . we stripped him like a whore.
We wore our pride like jewelry, and it blinded him.
We were drunk on power, but we gave him vinegar.
Could he still know? I stabbed him with my spear.
The blood, the water, it stank of forgiveness and love.
Up my shoulders and around my neck the burning crawls.
The birds, flies and bugs ate at him like a carcass.
The sun and the wind tortured his mind.
The rocks that were thrown, bashed at his bones.
The yelling, my cursing, my hatred toward him boiled.
Still the passionate burning persisted until it consumed me.
It engulfed me like a living fire.
For it was I who killed the carpenters son.
It was I who killed him.
It was I who nailed him up
on two planks of wood and left him to rot.
It was I.
It was I.
It was I.

And the burning still burns.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

there are lives that could be touched there are lines that could be extended sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night and you hear yourself crying out to no one it seems like a much more likely event that the heart sees much more than the eyes let on and what is actually registered there in the soul of a wise man who once said that it is not best to try and do things right but that you should just do it forcefully and with no loss so dont try but just do it and that is where the Loneliness ends and where the wolves do not prowl for putrid bloody flesh but where truths become a reality for stories that are interwoven with the mesh of the anti-void when the sands of time become hard clay and the shores of existence become quicksand that is where nightmares become truth and the sand-man slips under your pillow and the gods of triumph hide their faces then we shall see who is the overcomer and who is the one who rises up out of the ashes of our charred humanity and sees the fullness of the God-head and that which is real becomes false at the end of the line like a very bad b movie with effects that are not special so is love not based on touch however love based upon principles of true humanity is seen as a threat to the integral system of all the worlds governing powers that with one fell swoop they should come down and spread their wings and fly like hungry birds hungry from winter like death by cold is the way that lives expand and shatter for a life without hope is

no life at all

copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Aslan Itch
(Reflections of C.S. Lewis)

I itch away at complacency
until it subsides.
Scratching at apathetic views
that I cannot quite reach.
I peel away my mediocrity
with growing pain.
He ripped away my lack of love
and it all fell away.

In chunks of flesh that I lie among.
With blood and scraps of cloth around.
I quiver and burn with searing pain.
The air is cold. My sinuses drain.
Plunged down in the untouched pool.
I'm born anew to the world of men.
New skin, baby and beet is that of mine.
The avenging scales of death are gone.

And now, baptized in frozen numbness,
I arise no more the dragon, but man.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I need more love
Today I'll seek joy
Tomorrow joy

But now I find
that all lifes sins
defeat joy

destroy laughter

I am left
Baked and bruised
A Chrysalis, crushed

Love and peace inside
but poured out onto souls
contain nothing

Sunrise on hope
A smile, a kiss
and tender-heartedness

Crushed and bruised
The writhing soul sees nothing
except his decadence

Why if I try, do I find
pleasure in crap?
pleasure in shit?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
This is a Poem

A whisper, a voice, an old hag murmurs
She weaves her purple tapestry
Prisoner in chains, she sews the rug of kings
Doomed to die when she ends her task

Wisps of smoke and dirty candle wax
Fill the stale, old room
Shivering in a pasty sweat, bent over
It is her life, it is her death

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
(My Alura)

A house full
of empty rooms
with only you.

As you breathe
the listless breath.

(can I see
you in misery?)

A garden filled
with empty roses
with only you.

Crying the tears
of undue fretfulness.
Clenching the brand
of hard shamefulness.

(You see me
in your misery?)

A head stuffed
with empty dreams
without you.

Badgering the house
of achieving greatness
Screaming at the
walls of beautifulness.



come in, open, realize, dream, believe.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

She squinted
and laughed and looked up dreamily
at my friend who played the guitar
some day she will cry
because her dad raped her
but today she smiles
dreamily at my friend
as he plays

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Flesh fall down

I woke up cold and warm
chilled with a burn
I found that I desired
nothing but the noise
solemn and somber
I burned with flesh
I had reached the pinnacle
I had climbed the spire
But so much had changed
since then
I fell down all
I fell
fell down
down flesh
fall down flesh fall
chilled and warm
I awake
with the noise
from the high
But I changed
and fell
I fell down all
flesh downfall

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

If everyone felt relaxation
coming out of their nose
If everyone felt
the feeling coming


of their noses
choking on happiness
until they died of hope
If they knew life
then they would die

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Evangelist, Evangelist.
Come blow your horn.

Evangelist, Evangelist.
is stuck on porn.

Evangelist, Evangelist.
Take all our funds.

Evangelist, Evangelist.
Is on the run.

Blow in.

Blow up.

Blow out.

Who cleans up your mess,
Oh mighty Evangelist?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I'm lost in a world of gray.
when you stand nowhere today.
forever is like the tide.
it's waves bend us in our minds.

i need you more than the state.
did you know i cannot hate?
i'm lost in a world of gray.
when you stand so far away.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
...feeling and shut

Lazy hands make lazy work
Lazy feet and lazy play.
Lazy, lazy I feel so lazy.
Lazy's how I feel today.

Sunburnt and lazy. Sleepy and tired.
I'm sublime and quiet today.
Lazy face and lazy hands.
Lazy kings and lazy lands.

I can almost hear the bumblebees.
They are humming over the meadow.
Eyelids shut. My jaw hangs down.
Lazy, lazy days.

I cannot move.
I am too slow.
I feel so lazy.
The feeling never leaves.

I look at those poor tired old bees.
My hair is cut short.
It does not want to grow.
It is too lazy.

My beard is long.
My sword is sharp.
My sword is drawn.
But I am so lazy.

I am too lazy.
Too lazy today.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Toad Lord

"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"that is imperishable,
that is immeasurable,
that is omnicient,
that is omnipotent,
that is immutable,

that is surrealistic,
that is unstoppable,
that is unmovable."
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he,
"that is the lord"

and Jim leaned over to Melissa and said:
"Man, them frogs sure is loud tonight!"

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
A brief study

John was finishing up his free bowl of chili, smacking all the while. JB had been lounging in the booth, but reluctantly gave up his seat as I sidled up. She sat down and proceeded to explain. Take out a sheet of paper and a pin. Don't you mean 'PEN?' Yeah whatever, she said. I'm just saying that you pronounce it incorrectly. Do you want to do this or not, her face scowling. Sorry. Pens and pins ready, she explained. All you need to do is define what words I will tell you. Like an explanation? I asked. Like a DEFINITION She repeated. Geaaaaw! JB retorted, Don't you ever pay attention? Ok guys, she said... ready? Yeah. Ok the first item is a cube. You mean... like... Tell me what it looks like. One sentance, or... No more than a paragraph.

The Cube: It's clear, one of its sides ia actually a tiger and it is held by Martin Luther, and King Jr.s face is on the opposite side. Inside the cube is a pink cloud with a lonely purple teardrop that drips down onto this very paper. Upon the very farthest corner of the cube sits a very small herd of yacks.

Done, I said. FINALLY! they all said. I looked around and discovered that they had been done quite some time ago. Ummm, I think mine is too long. Looking bemused she looked down at my paper. Then at the others. JB had something like: Big and red. Or Johns single sentance aluding to his cube being sleek and shimmering. The next object is a ladder, she said. Describe it on your paper. I looked down. Hmmm. Not as interesting as a cube, I said in my own head, but oh well.

The Ladder: The ladder is made of rough cardboard, and of very small ground up bacon bits. It is covered in celtic spirals and leading towards an orange bush. Of course it is flat on the ground.

Hmmm. That wasn't tough. I actually got done before JB, was still thinking and doing what appeared to be some oral surgery on his face with the back of his pen. Something like realization dawned upon his face hewn with rugged good looks. He finished up his answer. Next was the horse. A horse? Yes, a horse. Then a storm.

The Horse: The most beautiful horse in the world was vandalized by ghetto graphitti artists. It was the most majestic and comely purple, but now is a horrid slur of dingy browns. She looks terrible. She has been hurt very badly in the past and has a limp in her left front leg and has gone blind in her left eye. But a horse like this cannot be stopped, for she thinks that she is the stongest horse in the entire universe.

The Storm: The storm was coming from one of feather clouds that was inside the cube. It rained down over-large blue and yellow marshmallows. They fell around 1/8th the normal speed of raindrops but it was very odd that they were immediatly devoured by odd little leprechauns before they ever hit the ground.

John had been watching me write the last one, and said that it would be a great movie to see. I asked what he meant. The new movie Being Pauly Hart. I looked at him and crossed me eyes. MALCOVICH MALCOVICH in my most loony voice. He smiled. Are we done? Nope. She was laughing. Two more. Ok. Oks echoed all around.

The Flowers: At one time there were exactly 1,543,297,208 flowers. They encompassed the entire range of mountains and feilds of plains within my mini-vision. But the horse had eaten all but three of them. The three left are small thick dark yellow tulip-type flowers, and they smell of rotting strawberries. The three that are alive have developed electro-anti-horse-nutreno rays in self defense so that they can survive.

What was next? The relationship. Of matter versus anti-matter I asked? Of Heather Lockleer to Former President Clinton? No she said, but I'd like to see that last one. Chukles from John and myself. JB said that it wasn't funny. As former Commander In Cheif, Clinton should have... yada yada... Yeah, shutup. What in the world are you talking about anyway? What do YOU MEAN? Guys! She had to break in and thank God she did. The relationship of all of these things to one another. A pause. Oooooooh, we all said at once.

The Relationship: As stated before without prior knowledge of the relationship factor, the storm exists inside the cube. Now upon this knowledge, the cube exists inside the horses mind, but as explained before, the horse is on the same plain as the flowers. And these of course, are on the ladder... or within the second rung of the ladder to be exact. This would mean that the horse and the flowers would have to be very very tiny.

Done. Really? Yup. Ok. What was the point here? Oh, just have some FRIKKIN PATIENCE CADET! Oh can it jar-head... Lots of laughing. Alright gentlemen she pronounces. Here is what each item stands for.

The cube is yourself
The ladder is your friends
The horse is your lover
The storm is your problems
The flowers are your children
And their relation to one another

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Army girl in her closet

Where are the valleys filled with flowers?
Where are the mountains with snow?
Where are the meadows, where are the children?
I sure wish, I'd like to know.

Where is the laughter, where is the singing?
Where are the people who care?
Where is the villa with bells that are ringing?
I would like to go.

I want to be where the happiness is.
I wish we all could be fine.
I wonder why good people die?
I'm sure that I don't know.

Why are you crying, why are you hurting?
Talk with me to the end.
Please don't be lonely, please don't be dying.
Please don't be hurting, please don't be crying.
I want to go where the children are playing.
Take me there, take me there.
Take me there, my friend.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I didn't know of anyone else
To hide my pain... my ruin so great
Plunge it deep within the earth
If I must then I will, NQA
So heayv a weight. Pain. Shoulders.
I'm getting that sinking... again...

Shadows play off of her imagination
I am dancing as by firelight
A tickle, fickle trickle of hope
A respite from the world, NQA
Will I go down to the sea I wonder
Will she ever go down with me

Mighty crashing these forests tell of
But who will be there to listen
Who is there to hear my faith fall
She is to me the ear of reason: NQA
But if I am tied to her so well
Why the kite? Why so long a string

Will she love me
Will I love back
No Questions Asked
Will she like me
Another Matter Entirely

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Good ole' Sarah *

The star in the sky
That thought of her first
To the wave in the sea
That crashed into me

From the first to the last
Upon mountain cliffs told
That Earth gained a fortune
When it gained her soul

And now oceans crash
And meteors fall
And Heaven doth grasp
'Cause she's moving away

"Eek!" said God
"Quick go get the angels
I've got five against odds
She ends up in Las Vegas."

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

My Vanilla
Forming White
Plop It
And I
But Also
My Patience
Down My
But I
That I
A Special
For My
To Go

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
A song with words

This is just a song
Written out in words
Of how I have loved you
How you have always been my first

I was just a boy
Looking only for himself
But now that I've found you
I am wanting something else

I love you
There is no denying that
I love you
And that is a matter of fact
Oh I love you
And you will always be the one
I run to
I want to
To love you

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Hi, call me trampled

I saw her sitting
Hiding softly behind her book
Her big brown eyes fluttered
Looking my way

Last night she was with him
The one they call Nick
With her promises broken
She looks away

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Set the pace

My soul is poured out like water,
My spirit tires of me,
I have nothing left but you Lord,
I have nothing left but Thee.
This is my story,
And also my prayer,
That you, dear Lord, will set the pace,
And you will take me there.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Barren Land

So here I stand in the wilderness
of another place.
I stand this ground
as a foreigner on strange soil.
But none have been meant
to roam these lands as I.
It is their world, their place, their time.

The wind... I feel it breathing.
Whispering secrets of another mans home.
So here I am and here I stand (alone).
A foreigner in another mans land.

Earth, wind, rain and fire.
I hear the melody lifted higher.

I feel the wind and I feel the sand.
The remnant of this barren land.
I wish my dreams could become true.
Lord, let this land begin anew.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Burgerman lived in Chicago. He was half blind and half deaf from a grenade explosion in Vietnam. He had never enjoyed reading, and had never found anything on the radio worth listening to... but he enjoyed talking to people, and he enjoyed making people smile, and he enjoyed making hamburgers.

He ran his own vending cart in the downtown Chicago area. He sold the best damn hamburgers anyone had ever had the opportunity to bite into. He put up signs saying so too. He was the busiest vendor on the block and he always made money.

Burgerman had paid his sons college tuition with the money he made from hamburger sales. Like I said, He always made money.

His son was home for the holidays, and was helping his dad out with the business, when they began talking about the economy. "Dad, the economy is in the worst shape it's been in years. And things are only looking worse for the future."

Well, He believed his son. His son had been to college. His son knew things that He didn't know. And maybe it was his imagination, but people had looked grumpier recently.

Burgerman took down his signs. He couldn't afford them anyway; and he started using cheaper hamburger. People started to go elsewhere for their hamburgers. Soon there was almost no business at all.

"Son, you are right." Burgerman said, "The economy is in bad shape. Nobody wants to buy Hamburgers anymore."

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Thoughts of a related time and place have enveloped my journey here. I have fallen prey to the undisciplined practice of living in the "what if" syndrome. I see my days march along and wonder what consequences would befall me if i had done this or done that. i realize that this way of thinking is a corrupt way, and to be more precise... it is an unhealthy view on the universe in general. Shouldn't i be more concerned with the here and the now... but there i go again. i keep doing this to myself. the now is what i live in. not the past, or any alternate reality in this present, or even in the impending future. i plan and schedule, but it is the now that i function within. so i make plans to not make plans. striving for a future where my present consists of whole-hearted plans of the now. the now. the here.

The beginning of my life.

Copyright 2000 by pauly
Day Faith

At the end of the day as I was walking home, I found a man lying on the ground who had been beaten. His shirt was torn, and his face was bloody and crying. He was pleading at me with big watery eyes, but I was running a little late for my favorite show. I came to my house, and it appeared that the neighbors cat had been sick earlier, and had left a lovely present for me on my doorstep. As I walked in and threw my keys on the counter, the phone rang. It was Denise. She had been in Detroit for the last couple of days on business, and had decided to give me a ring because she felt obligated. Her call was meaningless. I half-listened to her as she rampaged against the politics of major car corporations, and hung up the phone when I couldn't take it anymore. She immediately called back, but I just sat there watching the phone as it rang, trying to imagine her frustration on the other end of the line. Eventually she must have gotten tired with the whole ordeal, because the phone quit ringing.

I decided it was time to eat. Going to the freezer, I realized that I had bought nothing in the past month that even closely resembled sustenance. I ate anyway. Frozen biscuits usually taste better cooked... I didn't mind. I plopped into my chair, just in time to catch the credits of my show. Damn Denise. Damn her to Hell.

Oh well... I stood up and kicked the TV in. Another day. Deciding whether to sleep in my suit or pajamas took up the better part of the next hour, until I determined that my suit just didn't feel good anymore, so I stripped it off in the living room and pushed it into the corner. Ahhh, better.

I studied myself in the bathroom mirror. The same tired shoulders, the same haggard face, the same graying hair. Depressed once again, I staggering to the bedroom, I coughed up blood and flem into my hand, and wiped it on the wall before I collapsed onto the bed with the grace of a corpse. I lay there, and laid there. All my life seemed to be wrapped up in today.

I had gone to the doctor again today and he told me that my condition had not improved. As a matter of fact, it had grown worse. Much worse. If I sleep, I die. I haven't slept in fifteen years. I lay in bed and do not sleep. There are approximately twenty two thousand, three hundred and thirty seven dots on my ceiling. I finished counting them last night. I'm done counting my dots. I'm done counting on my luck.

Goodnight. I'm going to sleep.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Winding Intelligent Never Dying... Wind.

Down the quiet street,
The wind slowly crept,
Easing its way down,
Through those old,
Colonial houses.

The wind spoke
Of an ancient time.
Timeless winds,
Of ancient ones,
Breathing mysteries.

Although changed and polluted,
These winds still blow.
The same ones that blew
In the garden,
With the serpent and the son.

Strange winds reveal things.
My youth. My ignorance.
My uncreative decadence.
Vindictive hot winds
Searing my hardened face,
Turning me to sand.

Oh ancient winged servant;
What have you seen?
What do you know?
Where have you been?
And do you return there soon?

The winds know not change...
But smell, temperature,
Humidity, pollution, pollen content,
Oxygen, Nitrogen, Halogen.
And various dust particles.

Unrelenting, untrusting,
Undermining, undenying,
Unexuberating, unreaching,
Wind, Wind, Wind,

Most knowledgeable of
All gaseous forms...
You, breath of God,
Blew the first of
These small winds.

Tornado, Hurricane, Vortex spinning
Dust devil, Waterspout, Tsunami,
High Pressure, Low Pressure,
Cold Front, Heat Wave, Wind.

God, show your winds
to be all that you would
have them to be...
an elemental force,
in your wonderful creation.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Your smile

There were some things
I wanted to share
I don't know where
to go from here
Today is taking too long
Life goes on and on
I've got to find a reason
For this same old song

There is no time like the present
To wash all of my troubles away

There is no place other than in your arms
To take away the fear, to take all of my pain

It's your smile baby... That gets me through the day.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
The Cow Path Revisited

One day through the wood, a cow walked home, as good cows often should.
He made a path, all bent askew. A crooked path as all cows do.

Since that time, four hundred years past, The cow, now dead created this path.
But still behind, he left his trail. And on that note, I'll hang my tale.

And so time fled, as time should do. They wandered the path. Those wandering few.
From dog and sheep, and traveles late, the path did grow and trail did make.

And many a man wandered out, and dodged and turned, and bent about.

They muttered dark curses full of wrath, because it was a crooked path!

The forest then, became a lane. Horse, buggy, and traveler made it plain.
The years passed on the swiftest of feet, and the lane then became a street.

A hundred thousand souls were led, by one poor cow, four centuries dead.
From path to trail to road to street, now bustling was this way with feet.

For a moral lesson does this teach, if i were ordained and called to preach.
Simple men repeat things already done. They only do what other men have done.

Taken from "The Cow Path"
Author Unknown

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
Scarred Face

It's your saving grace
That comes over me
It's your loving face
That's all I see
It's your hiding place
That I run to

It's your love, your love, your love.

It's my face
That scares the children
It's my laugh

That makes them scream
It's my love
That makes me famous

It's my love, my love, my love.

I will come
To you my lover
I will come
To you tonight
I will climb in
To your garden

I will come, will come, will come.

No one could you like me
You cannot hide from me
I will come unto thee
When the night comes to the trees

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
The confrontation of conniption.

what you can gain in a lifetime

you can lose in a moment

what you can see in the morning

you can lose in the night

what someone can talk you into

some one can talk you out of

and what you can accept in emotion

you can lose in logic

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

As I lay awake in bed
At night I realize just what
this is to be awake
and wanting the incredible
mind numbing mental stimuli
of this screen mentality
called the vision of the telepaths
In this state, I seldom
rest my mind on what my friends
are doing, where my family is
what the affairs of my pocketbook are
or what my place is in this world
I just want to watch T.V.

I have been lured into this
false perception of reality in thinking
I have had the goggles of
madness afixed onto my face
I am afraid of who I am
I must escape, escape, escape
Springer, Seinfeld, Friends and Alf
These false realities are persuasive
But these persuasive realities are false
I lay awake, awake I lay
and toss and turn and think
About laying in my bed awake.
in the late night and think:
"I am awake"

But I so crave this insatiable
spirit crushing mind drug
of my monitor in space
launching into a fantasy realm
where bad is arbitrary
and good is circumstantial
It is in this ashtray that my soul lingers
The conversation killer
The friend of the damned

I have been hooked, lined
sunk and beached
into this slough of despond
And I wither, growing fater and slower
And chuckling all the way
For this life is not my life
So I enjoy it better, but
am not the better for it.
I sink, I sink, I sink

A brave new world, THX 1138
Blade Runner and Farenheight 451
Max Headroom and 1984
The Television is the chiller of my core
I take it upon myself to place blame
I take it up-on myself to be shamed
I bring it towards myself. I enflame.
I place it inside myself. A new brain.

I have found this life interesting.
Much more so than my own.
I am quick to recognize nothing.
I am slow to absorb lifes transmissions.
When the telivisions are so much easier.
I sing their songs, feel their pain.
Believe thier lies, purchase their products.
Make good on their warrenties and
then watch the re-runs.

This non interactive virtual reality
talks all day long. It is impossible.
It is incredible. It is preposterous.
It is an insane waste of time.
Television pilliages the heart.
Television rapes the mind.
I must believe in telivision
For if I do not and am not like them
Then I am a loser, and there is
something wrong with me.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

You failed my tired spirit
You failed
Like a bitch in heat you cry
You lied
Like a dripping faucet annoying
I tried
Like a maddened axe man throwing
I tried
Like blind conductors call
You suck
Every fiber in my soul it seems
You failed
You failed me
If I tried way too hard
Than it is not my fault

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

And as many as cast him down

He shall rise to face again

Though many cast him down

He takes on all mighty blows

For as many as cast him down

He will rise to come again

Save one who casts him down

and that one who lives inside

For when that one casts him down

He shall lay prostrate on the ground

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I was yelling at the old man of the sea
Telling him to rightfully give back to me
I did not know that he had won you fair and square
I had no knowledge of your bet with that old man
I would let you go much easier my friend
Had I known of your old bet with that old man
I am cursing at the old man of the sea

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
The other day

He gave up and laid his head down on the keyboard.
For some reason or another the words just wouldn't come.
It was a huge block, and unlike others,
had lingered for more than a month.
Over and over he had tried to conjure something up...
but nothing was forthcoming.

He had become a dry well.
The fears of his fathers oil-drilling days now lived on in him.
However, this was no dryness of the earth.
This was the dryness of his very soul.
Waterless. Dusty. Parched and dry.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
The other day

He gave up and laid his head down on the keyboard.
For some reason or another the words just wouldn't come.
It was a huge block, and unlike others,
had lingered for more than a month.
Over and over he had tried to conjure something up...
but nothing was forthcoming.

He had become a dry well.
The fears of his fathers oil-drilling days now lived on in him.
However, this was no dryness of the earth.
This was the dryness of his very soul.
Waterless. Dusty. Parched and dry.


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
I am not the same
I have been bought
I am not the same
I have been purchased
Conquered, sold, enslaved

I am not myself
I have been ensnared
I am not myself
I am imprisoned by myself

I am a bigot
I am the judge
You are not like me
You are not the same

You are not alike
You don't deserve my appreciations
I have prejudged you
I have placed you inside of my box

My idea of you in final
My reasons for this is mine alone
I don't understand you
You don't need me


I am you
I am who you are
I've walked in your shoes
I've stood in your place

But don't ask me
To accept you
Because you aren't
Liz Clairborne
You're not Coca-Cola
You're not McDonald's
You're not the Gap

I am
You are
We are all biased


Self-absorbed Bastards.

space is not the final frontier
i am

i am my own frontier

inside of my mind and my heart and my emotions
there are so many things that no one will
ever see, and if i can't show them or open them
up to myself then who can and who will

my uncle is an astronomer
my father is a geologist

however they are both emotional black holes
they suck in all light around them

never exploring that which really matters
never diving into that which is really important

oh sure explain the troposphere to me
but can you define the angst of my childhood?

so space...

ahhhh space.


oi, i am more interested in the space within my heart
a good friend sitting next to me says:
"i don't think that anyone is truly satisfied with their life."
well how can we be when when we're so worried about
the affairs that as a whole really don't matter to us.

Oh sure I can sit around and bullshit with the
best of them about the misadventures of my
favorite modern rock hero, but does that make
any difference in the world when it comes down to
who i am, what i'm doing and where i'm going?


life is life. mine is mine.
and i will one day understand where i am and why.
and if i do not get there then i will die on that path.

so space? yeah, study space if you want captain kirk...
as for me, i choose to study the thing
that will one day affect space...

the human heart.
Forgive it all

i lay it down
every breath of death
i pray it down
heaven on my head

forgiveness and ashes
i've wasted all my time
and now, i now know
acceptance comes from inside

the reason for the fire
is the same for all my pain
but i choose to destroy it
this shit can't stay the same

stoke the fire
feed the flame
watch it kindle
keeping me sane

bring me laughter
bring me peace
show me starlight
show me: me

and i cry and i scream
this night won't let me be
so i take the evil
and place it outside me

my furnace of hatred
would consume my soul
i keep it in check
so the fire doesn't take hold

stoke the fire
feed the flame
watch it kindle
keeping me sane

bring me laughter
bring me peace
show me starlight
show me: me

like i said: "forgive"
i forgive him for everything
and i will forgive her
even though she wears that ring

i choose to lay down
all the stains and lies
i choose to become a
living sacrifice

stoke the fire
feed the flame
watch it kindle
keeping me sane

bring me laughter
bring me peace
show me starlight
show me: me

i lay it down
every breath of death
i pray it down
heaven on my head