I was ready for forever

I was ready for forever
But life got in the way
I walked the path of the dead
And sat on Colemans grave

At the pantry of the village
Where the white horse comes to play
Where I loved you, loved you, loved you
Five long years seems like one day

I was ready for forever
And will be so when I die
I only hope that love can bloom
And be right by my side

And when I am a hundred
Sitting hand in hand
I want to have you near me
As we walk to the promised land

Forever grace

Forever grace to be mine.
Lost in the hand that holds
Crinkled in the depths of desire
Crushed by the love that gives
Forever grace to be mine
Is Jesus and his Fatherly face
Smiling upon me wisely forever
grace grace grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace
grace grace

Forever grace

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

A poem for the hurting

Why are you feeling down?
Can you express your true self?
Would you feel better if you killed me?
Perhaps if you hurt a small animal?
Better not to sin for fun though.
God tends to frown on these things.
It's bad for your emotional stabilizer too.
Adriane. You are a weird and funny friend.

Here, I'll write you a poem:

Life is short
If time is right
Life with hope
Is life with light
Life is good
When life IS good
But life without life
Is no life at all
Because who needs a
life that sucks butt?

So smile - Jesus cares.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I always seem
To not believe
The world wide truth
Of awesome realms
Of Gods own love

Nobody cares
No one can see
Why do we shirk
Our destiny
My heart is Gods

The red wind blows
Between the lines
My Spirit flows
Upon my cries
And I know God
Can rescue me
I'm still just scared
Of what will

To my life
Is this right
Hear my cry
Let me just die

Here lie my dreams
And now my face
Why can't these crimes
Just be erased

Unzip my heart
And bridge my mind
Will you let me
Just live my life

Let me die
Let me be
Let me see
Let me live

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Mind set yet

Tenacity, or maybe audacity
perforates this earthly suit
I strive whole-heartedly towards
a Christ-like mind set yet

Why do I strive except
for my own selfish desire
And why do I desire it
To be the best "me" possible

But Jesus doesn't want "ME"
He just WANTS...
And it is an infidel,

Who tries to outguess God.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

After the bomb

The year is unknown. It is still our Planet in the general sense as we know it. No one really knows what happened to Terra Fima. We never achieved global harmony, the one world government was a failure, and in short... Things have changed. There are more than twelve billion people on the planet, and perhaps 68% of them are under the age of 30. The Nile Flu, H.I.V., Hanta, Crimson Death, and the latest Myra Virus have swept the Earth with ravaging destruction. The world is a world of growth and turmoil. After the third world war and the threat of a fourth, Nuclear power became almost obsolete. People had begun a world-conscious effort to live on a now toxic planet.

California had for the most part sunk into the sea at the end of the Twenty Second Century. The Hudson Bay had joined with Lake Superior. Most of the Islands of the Philippines and Indonesia have disappeared. Large desserts like the Sudan, The Mohave and most of Australia have become forests and grasslands. In contrast, most of the Jungles of South America, Asia and Africa were turned into charred remains of the greenery that it once was.

After World War III, There was not much left to tell of the history of our life. The only history is new history it seems... But it seems that knowledge was not lost. Many of the observations during this time were taken by a small newspaper in the small town of what was once Byrd, Kansas. Now that sight is the home of the New ARC Government... one of the largest Military governments known to the New Americas.

New technologies rose overnight. New companies rose and fell with the power of the stock market gone... Governments disintegrated into corporations and the odd militia... Regulations for medical experimentation, gun control, slavery, and the court system were virtually non-existent. Computers rose again. They were smaller. Faster. Cheaper. They were everywhere. Money became the TiXCard... A system that held Medical, Financial, Personal, and Criminal information on each and every person. Weaponry and Machines of war almost disappeared from public view... it seemed to be almost inaccessible to the normal person. Data was a more capable weapon to the public. Yet firepower was used. The police, gangs, and all employed by both the Militia and Corporations. Between these it was war and blood shed. It is an odd future. But it is ours.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Scatter/Hare Brain

A functionless Society serves no eternal good other than its own end. Unexcited and disturbing was my heart ripped open and thrown into the fire. Salty lips are paradox when whispered in a velvet box. All of these indescrepancies should be thrown out of the way. Everybody touch my soul, there's no place else to go. There are crazy people who desire to make you do strange things. These are unwanted and uninvited things. These are the people who suck. I cannot contain life, it contains me. Forgiveness is sudden desperation, turned inside out.

Dedicated to Joshy
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

One and three

Save myself from dying
Heal my love from crying
Take my heart my Jesus
How can I help my bleeding
It's winter time and I realize
My dreams have become atrophied
Your spotlight on my life diminishes
Create in me a clean heart

I fall away I don't like it

I burn my soul, deny me pride
My soul is renewed in your hope
Please heal this iconoclast
Take my broken wings
Heal my soul from dying
How is life so empty?
When does time stand still?

The last odd day was


and it won't happen again until


and since that's so far away...
it doesn't help me now.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Duece Tri Ott

Many Moons smile and glow
Day after day they come
Nights then they go
They favor no one
They smile their white face
They illuminate the dark
They rise different
But the same
A new face every month
Day after day
slivered or full
or waxing or new
waning to reach out
and touch my soul

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The Drop

Drops of life


in your

and you open

your heart
and let



your reality

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Couch Potato and Tranquillity act

Life pilots my direction. Pinpoints my way.
Life qualifies position. Determines the day.

"Are we going home now?" he asked.
"no", she said, "we're going to grandma's".

Quintuplets of faith (estimates of the salvation experience)
The appraisal of true happiness (an assurance adjuster)

The lamp shown bright, and shown on true.
As it was turned on, it dispelled the darkness.

...and she rode the wild stallion
...and she conquered the savage
...and she returned the victor
...and she yearned for acclimation

Hilarious Hispanics came by
they wanted pie
I gave them apple
they waved goodbye

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I despise evil that hurts
I despise victims that whine
I despise demonic torture
I despise myself despising

I want it to last, when I rejoice
It want it to be special
I wish my sore spirit would heal
I wish I could fly unhindered

Destination: Detox
Cleansing: Soulspire
Reflux: Determination
Redemption: Possible

I despise not flying
I despise not infesting
I despise not requesting
I despise myself despising

I need the redemption
I crave Gods touch
I return, the faithless warrior
I besmirch nothing in love

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Janet Reno and Jesus

Janet Reno and Jesus

So I thought about the end of the world...
About the ATF killing children in Waco.
And all I could come up with was fate.
Fate is a diseased poison. A rebel idealism.
FEMA and the Clinton Administration...
Where can we go right? Hmmm...
I have no idea of the outcome of us.
The USA and the permanent state of confusion.
I forgot about the tip for the waiter...
Who's land is used? Who's waters abused?
I never thought I would write the term down:


This is my first time.
I don't like it.
It disturbs me.
It is wrong to focus...
On something
other than

Copyright 1999 by pauly hart


My Vanilla
Forming White
Plop It
And I
But Also
My Patience
Down My
But I
That I
A Special
For My
To Go

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Pervert just like me

The pale soul continues in lust
A hard heart denies Gods Agape
The troubled one drools over women
The shallow spirit of the oppressed

Breaking the tenth commandment
Following up with breaking the seventh
And you end up in pain, denying God
As you mess in your pants daily

Spend every last minute of every last day
Feeling smutty with no need of Church
Your church is found in the whores promises
And you get yourself together to sin

The bookstores hold only one thing for you
And that is mental waste
You lie to yourself saying:
"I need the release."

"Pornea" is a greek word
That has become your salvation
It is only a sinners substitute
For God

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Why my soul does not fly with the rest

Why my soul does not fly
Is not a question of faith
It's the shivers I get
When I falter and fall

Why my heart bitter dreams
Of a Loneliness grasped
Draping over my eyes
Like a thick flag of fear

In my dreams I consume
All my heartaches, my shame
While walking to tears
That wet my pillow

Why my soul does not fly
I can easily see
I was betrayed by the girl
Who comes only now in sleep

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


(A Psalm)

Jesus Christ, Savior Messiah.
You are my everlasting friend.
Be with me now both here and forever.
Be with me unto life's bitter end.
I know that you never will give up on me.
I know that you never will forsake.
Give me the strength to know your love.
Help me for the gospels sake.
Your Word stands strong above the hills.
The mountains shout eternally.
Everlasting heart felt kinship.
The joy this prisoner saw in thee.
I shout your song above the earth.
I sing your song beneath the sea.
Heaven and Earth shall now bear witness.
I in You and You in Me.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Yeah, right.

The greatest miracle that this world ever saw was not when Jesus came to the earth as a human. No, the greatest miracle as well as the greatest act of faith began when Christ was killed and died. For it was at this miracle beginning time that several things happened at once.

First of all, Christ, or, God-made-flesh, had died. A seemingly unexpected and unprepared-for act of the greatest importance. It is debated whether God-made-flesh descended into Hell and wrestled with Lucifer for the Keys to Death and the grave, or whether he went to Abraham bosom, and showed himself to them, giving the first rapture. He could have died Spiritually. No one but God knows for sure.

Second of all, The Father, or Jehovah, had rejected a part of himself. Because Christ had taken all sin, sickness, disease, and poverty upon himself at the cross, Father could no longer look upon him. He turned his back and allowed his favor to lift. Hence, causing the greatest separation since the first, in the garden.

Thirdly, The Spirit, or the Comforter, left the ark of the Covenant. For centuries, since the time of Moses, He had dwelled in this Ark. Inside of tabernacles, and several different temples, He had resided with His people. But now, with the curtain tore in two, He apparently turned His back on Christ as well.

Fourthly, all of Hades, Hell, Sheol, Abbadon, Gehena, Tardes, Death, and the Grave rejoiced. Not to mention the Fallen Angels, Principalities, Powers, Rulers, Nephilim, Demons, Devils, Foul Spirits, The Strongman, Beelzebub, and especially the Great Deceiver himself; had one Hell of a party.

But I really think that the greatest thing, the single act of sheer obedience to bring the world to attention was the fact that Christ trusted The Father to bring Him back from the dead. He preached and healed in faith, He lived in faith, He was taken before court in faith, He was beaten in faith, and He was ripped and shredded in faith. Faith that the Father would be true to His word. Faith that the joy set before Him would become a reality. Think about it. Without that one holy act of faith, Christ may never have died. He had the power not to didn't He? He might still be alive today. But He had to. But without that act of total obedience, and without the sovereign act of the Father, Jesus might still be in Hell today.

Yeah right, like that could ever happen.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

This small life

Lands we will reach as we sail away but I don't want to let this life pass by. But how can we go anywhere when we don't have the courage to leave our homes? There was a bundle of blue yarn sitting on the desk next to me as i thought. Will my life amount to a hill of beans, or will I suffer in ignorance like the rest? My cute black puppy knows its purpose in its small miserable life, why don't I? People riding the busses, people working hard, driving the busses for them. Destinations posted on the front of the bus illuminating the marquee. I will season my thoughts over my heart and season it like some dry jerky. For it is been drained like from some sick hemomaniac. Heart sucked dry. We hold on to the most insane of ideas. We try too hard. We struggle. Like unto a mudskipper who believes it is his time to evolve are we. It won't be easy, it might be tricky, but we can't give up, we won't give up. This small life we partake of... Can the Madams or Psychic Friends help us? They can not evolve us... Who can add height or depth to himself by worrying? This small life we dream of is lost on the chords of some celestial guitarist. Does anyone know who we really are, or where this ghost train is taking us? The fog that we travel through, on our way to oblivion, Mother Mary help us. We struggle and strive and dream and sweat and eventually have our hearts sucked. Like as unto by some craven necrophiliac, as we lie in our tombs, we are abused. This small life is surrounded by darkness, except for that one small shaft of light. The light of Christ. The promise of the Jews and the hope of the Gentiles is He.

My shaft of light. My hope. My way. All the way my Savior will guide and help me through my small, so small life. And He will lead me to the bus station of my destiny.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

For ye are


Shaken forth by the Lord of minerals.

Salt spewn into the world recklessly.

Purposefully and thoughtfully thrown.

Some of us fell on good ground.

Some not.

Tenderizing hard hearts, preserving morality, melting, and dissolving.

One out of six we are.

One billion people strong.

Why have we not done our part, we granules?

Shall we be as those worthless?

Shall we be cast away into the fire?

What shall happen to us if we lose our flavor?

When flavor goes, value goes.

Why, oh why do we still stay in the sea where it is safe?

Who are we hiding from?

Why are we hiding?

Are we in fear of those land-locked artesian poisons?

Or from the bottling companies who ship them world wide?

Do you realize that they actually sell that blasphemy?

As we are, we only affect the shores and coastlines.

We prefer our solitude, our own little conventions instead of going inland.

I fear it is not us who surround the seven islands, but it is they who surround us.

Shall we not go?

Have we forgotten our purpose in life?

Why have we lost our devotion to our first and our only true love?

For the Spirit hovered over us in the beginning,

and He hovers over us still today.

For we are the salt of the earth.

We are, and no one else.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Forward. Toward. Closer to the war I am spurred.
Like a horse charging into war. A war with myself.
I run to the enemy. Evil, vile, and demiseful. How
I loath his very existence. His death is my wish.
Even now I wish for the sword of vengeance upon
him. To banish him forever into the wracking pit of
despair. I feel my blood pulsing, coursing, racing
through my veins. I feel strength. Unnatural.
Supernatural. And it surges. I am His strength.
How I long to crush the enemy. To inflict upon him
the debt due. Sword, Lance, Axe, Mace, Javelin,
Spear or like. I swing into the melee with all that I
am. The Lord of Banners is who I fight for. I am
like a sword, and I am unsheathed upon the
darkness by His stout and surely arm. I am His
weapon, and He is my victory. The enemy shall
not prevail. He shall come down. The Lord has
given me the power to crush the dragons head.
And I intend to use that power. Like a rod. Like a
sword. The wicked shall be matched. And they
shall come down willingly, or by my mighty Hand.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

That's all I have to say!

First of all as I stand before you today I would
I like to say that to live the life of ultimate freedom
One must first of all never expect to be free
To live the life of ultimate liberty
One must never expect to live their life
To live the life of ultimate prosperity
One must never expect to be rich
To live the life of ultimate success
One must never expect to achieve
For when the goal supersedes the means
The goal becomes utterly worthless
Or when we lose our peace
Nothing is worthwhile at any time
For Christianity and morality often conflict
Nature and spirituality are not are not synonymous
There is never a parallel between greed and freedom
The supreme difference between the Kingdom of God
Being at hand and being in holistic accord
with the Universal "Consciousness" is that
One has to deal with an inner decision based on love
And one deals with the progression of
A perverse sense of self-importance
I'm not sure that we can find a heaven
Here on earth but I'm quite sure that
We need not have a Hell here either
And the only reason that we're still here
on the earth is to tell others about Him
and to learn how to worship Him because
Will we ever lead someone to Christ in Heaven?

I don't think so.

And that's all I have to say.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Spirit God

Sing Hallelujah to the King of Kings...
Hallelujah to the lamb,
Sing Hallelujah to the Lord of Lords...
Who is the great "I Am",
Lord Jehovah reigns in majesty...
we will bow before his throne,
We will worship him in righteousness...
we will worship him alone,
Holy Comforter and Spirit God...
You are powerful and true,
Great in wisdom and in mighty deed...
gracious thanks we give to you,
Thank you Father, Son, and Holy Ghost...
thank you God of all that is,
You created each and everything...
All creation sings "You live".

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


So you want to go to heaven? I think everyone dreams about leaving this life with all the struggles and pain and uncertainties, to spend the rest of eternity in total bliss. We all dream of hanging out on little fluffy clouds playing harps all day, right? How can you be totally sure that you'll go? Well, let me start by saying that there is only one way to get there and simply being good just doesn't cut it.

Humans strive for fulfillment in their lives through a variety of ways. people think - If I only had more money or, if I were only more educated. I'll be a better person if I go to church more or if I do more good things for people and the world. Although these things are all fairly important in this life, none of these things will earn you a ticket past the pearly gates. Actually, nothing you do can get you into heaven. Does that surprise you? The Bible says in Matthew 19:26 that it is completely impossible for man to save himself (essentially meaning get into heaven), but with God all things are possible. God wants us to trust him, and he wants us all to spend eternity with him, but he doesn't want to force us to make that decision. He created us all with the freewill to choose for ourselves and unfortunately a lot of people choose to turn their backs on God; they want to do it their way. Look, No one is perfect; we were created that way. Everyone makes mistakes and God isn't out to exterminate us all when we do. God forgives mistakes and wants to help us become what we were meant to be. God loves you dearly like a mother loves a child, in fact, if we accept him, He calls us his kids.

The Bible says that the only way to become God's kids and get into heaven is through Jesus. John 14:6 says that he is the way and the truth and the life, and that no one can reach God except through him. Jesus is God's son but, he came to earth to live with people and experience the pain and struggles of everyday life. Jesus was human but at the same time he was completely perfect. He went around healing the sick and teaching us about God. He did many miracles including exorcisms and bringing people back from the dead. Jesus was crucified when he was 33 years old and died a horrible death even though he never did anything wrong. the important thing is that after he had been dead three days, God brought him back to life.

Christ died so that the world could have a chance to know God and be brought closer to him, but we must individually receive him as our Savior and Lord. there is nothing to pay. It's like you're holding the most valuable gift certificate you've ever had. Now its your choice - Will you accept the gift? We must choose to believe that Jesus can save us and give us eternal life. Jesus loves you and will accept you no matter what kind of person you are (we're all human, right?), but He also expects you to change and turn from the wrong things you do. trust in Jesus always. He will always be with you, helping you to change and to live your new life. Be prepared to begin living your life for God instead of the self-centered life that the world teaches. This could prove to be a real adventure.

So, you can trust God to teach you, protect you and provide for your needs, and He will call you his own child. you will find that you have a new purpose for living as you begin to discover God's plan for your life. You are promised an eternal future with him in heaven, and the word "love" will take on a new meaning. You have new responsibilities now. God expects you to follow Him, obey Him, serve Him, read your Bible and pray to Him. Above all, he expects you to love Him and trust Him.

OK! Now you are ready for heaven! Oh, and by the way, I don't really think that we sit around playing harps all day, I'm sure that it will be much... much more than that.

Written by Michele Hart
Used with permission

Never resist thanking God

Never any sadness
Never any pain
Never any sorrow
Since you stopped the rain.

The rain filled my lonely days
And chilled my haunted nights
Then you came and changed that
Then you lifted me to new heights.

Tip tapping on my window pane
Sweet rain engulfs my soul
You were there to save the day
And turn my half to whole.

Drowning out the sorrows
That darkened my days
Somehow though you rescued me
From all it's evil ways.

You delivered me from darkness
showing a softer path
I saw within you a gentleness
And a desire like wrath.

So I'll cherish you always
and give praise where due
I'll thank God everyday
for leading me to you.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Near You / Traveled

How far before we have flown together
How far again we shall meet then never
For time is as time does and so it shall be
And time thinks as time was we let it then be

And I would fly anywhere
And I would do anything
To be close to you

Lightning crashes all around
Deep goes the sound
Thunder and clouds do roll
And so it shall be

And I would cry anytime
To be close to you

And I would see anything
And I would sing anything
And I would feel anything
To be near you
To be with you

I would die

Well how far have you traveled
How far have you come
From where have you journeyed
And where will you go

I think that I'm wearied
I think that I'm slow
I'm feeling do depressed
I really don't know

Lightning rolls all around
Deep rolls the sound
Thunder booms and clouds come down
wishing me to come and drown

Belief and sorrow
Destruction and trust
Our sorrow and anger
Rely, cry, fall and rust

I think that I'm happy
I think that I'm fine
When will I see

He died for me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

I will not!

I will not be the blessed of God if I don't follow the known will of God. I must and should be consecrated. I must take that awful and dreadful sword of the Lord and cut away everything that doesn't pertain to His will. I have to realize that I can miss Gods will by missing His timing. God! If I cannot have your will then take my life! Lord, if I don't get Your will and I get to Heaven and You tell me I didn't do Your will... I'll tell You that it's your fault; because THIS DAY I give you full permission to rebuke me, chastise me, correct me, and anytime you feel like it... you can tell me when I'm wrong.

And I'll obey.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

His call is His will

Jesus is calling. Will you answer him? He has everything you need. He has everything you can really want. He loves you. He would do anything for you to believe in him, and he did. He put his life in the hands of the Roman hierarchy of two millennium ago. They nailed him to a cross. No mistake. He planned it. In that day a most horrific thing happened. All sin, all sickness and dying, all death and separation was nailed to him, even as He was to the cross.

Concerning death and the grave, it was the God-Son, the Joshua God-Emanuel-Christ being who snatched them out of the deceives claws. He absorbed death for your life. He wants your freedom. He wants it. He doesn't want your freedom for yourself, He wants your freedom from yourself and your freedom for Himself. He wants your life. He wants to give you eternal life in exchange for a measly hundred years or so on this earth. He will give you purity in exchange for your wretched, murky, diseased soul. He loves you. He wants both his presence and his power to rest in and on you, and inside of you.

His call is his will.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Captivity freed in death

How it fully seems to be the beginning of my life. I see and hear and smell and taste all there is despite... my captivity, which now seems like a welcome thing compared to the death I must face before I am freed. "I'm Human!" I scream! But it's just a blur, a kick in yearning. They won't listen, they are deafened with reason, lies, hate. They don't see me for who I am. They don't and they won't. But, I still love them. I don't love them for what they do, but rather, for who they are. I just don't understand? Why can't I be free like they are? I'm innocent! I've never faced a jury for my alleged crimes! Crimes? The only crime I've committed is my existence! I'm not a criminal, I'm an offering. A ritual sacrifice in the name of convenience and in the name of free choice. You see, I may be young, but I've got choice too! But no one can hear me. I am powerless in this struggle. Because if my mother chooses death for me, I can't refuse. I love her. Who am I to say that she's wrong? I only wish she loved me too. I'm a part of her! But she's much wiser than I.

But oh, how I covet the life of the free! They say that life is a fragrance, smelt and then gone. No one has smelled me. I should be a flower. But I'm a forgotten weed. Someone nobody wants to think about. Why God? Why? I know you love me! Don't you? Oh please don't turn your back on me too! I know that no one really hates me... Thy are just confused, mixed up. Things may not be well with me, but they can always get better with them! Where's my daddy? I wish I could see his face... I want to thank him for this small glimpse of life he has given me. I love him. I just don't understand... I guess I must have done something wrong. I've been bad. I'm sorry. I really am. I tried to be good, but I guess I wasn't. I love you.


An uphill climb in a downhill world

Sometimes life is so haphazard, so disruptive, so annoying and it seems like everything is passing by so quickly, and so furiously, that we forget what we are living for. It seems that all the beauty is lost in a sunset, or the fragrance of a flower is gone when we climb the ladder of life. Are we climbing too fast? Should we slow down? I say no. Who said life was a ladder anyhow? We are on the road of life, not the ladder. It is only through climbing the steep path that we can reach God. Not by trying to attain him as they did at the tower of Babel. Yes, I can see their pyramids of power, and their skyscrapers of success. But the story never changes. They are either traveling down the road, trying to build upwards by themselves, or they are wasting away at the side. I see very few who are going up with me. But I know I must go on. We must go on. we should travel together, you know. We should be able to trust in one another to be traveling companions. Can't we do that? Or, can we trust each other yet?

The road of life can be arduous, and seemingly meaningless at times, but we must know that God is on our side. Things go on around us everyday, and yet, we must be more than overcomers. We must rise above each occasion with the power of the triumphant one. Because greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world. Things happen to everyone. Both good and bad. Hey, it rains on the virtuous and the evil just the same. So why do we accept some of these things as from our Father? Don't get me wrong, I believe in Fire baptism, and I know that he chastises and rebukes those that he loves, but if I'm in a car wreak... I am not going to thank God (the giver of all good things) for it! I will not let those things happen to me! It is the thief that comes to kill steal and destroy, not the goodman of the house!

The only way that the thief can come in is if he first binds
up the strong man. And then that violent one will take it by force, and by all means necessary, if possible. So, loose God, and let him do something for you! He is the "Abba" the da-da of all creation. Shall not the Father give his children good things if we ask it of him? Or who among you would give your kid a rock if he asks for some food? I shall stand firm on my belief that God actually likes and loves me. For it is not just a strong opinion, it is a solid fact.

Let your life be fun. Life was not intended to be a living Hell. It was intended for us to have fellowship with the creator, and to dominate creation. I shall walk the path no matter what happens! For He is still on my side. And when life seems to be crashing down around me, then I can still know that Jesus paid for it all. My salvation from Hell, accidents, and stress. And he sent his precious Holy Spirit to display the fact of his love. As a person in love with him, I would just like to say that he is my all in all. He is the one who tickles my fancy as well as my funny bone. I like him and He likes me. And he is proud when I can stand firm in the face of adversity, and having done everything that I know to do, stand in confidence.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

By your providence

By your providence, we are made holy. By your might, we are proved worthy. With your joy we contract your holiness. By your will we find ourselves as one with you. Keeping our conscience void of guilt, keeping our feelings free from hurt. With one voice we shout triumphantly throughout the land that you reign victoriously. Trembling at His word, realizing your quick sword, I show you my fear, respect and reverence, all that you justly deserve anyway. You desire due honor from all men, but you do not force yourselves upon us. I know I need never want anything, because you are my chief shepherd. My Father in Heaven knows what I need even before I ask. But when I do have want, I make my petitions made known unto the most high. Halleluyaweh! Is it not you that sit upon the throne? Who else would or could I turn to? Why do I ever turn to anyone else? I am a slothful sluggard lizard! I need to turn to the one who birthed me! How he loves me! Lord, I repent of my not trusting in you. Forgive me and turn me not to your left. Accept my broken heart daddy. Thanks.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Time within the unbroken strand of forever concept love.

(another rambling)

If we were really, really ready, ready; then all we would need to do is wait, watch, and pray until His return and when He comes to us. Then He would come and fill our hearts with such love and take us all away. If we were really ready, He would be ready too. All of the timings that are off will be reset by his spiritual chronometer. All of the trap doors in time would be shattered by the blows of His love. Immortality waits like a creature behind the door of salvation. Ready to engulf you once you make your decision. The keys that were still hot from the pits of hell and were jangling in his hand, but they seem now to hang on a forgotten hook in sub-basement five in Heavens locker rooms. Have we lost them? They are really doing nothing for us at this moment. Or is it that we need to possess them? I think that sounds selfish. Why not ask Him to release His mighty war host now? Oh, we're not ready yet. . . Time ticks away. I shouldn't judge my self importance on how ever many smiles I get in a day. Or should I? No, Jesus smiles on me and I love him like no other. He is my one true friend to the end. He is all the time I need and also all the love. I know it's true that he loves all mankind the same, and that he is no respecter of persons. Although, sometimes I want to think that we have our own little thing going. I really don't need anything else but his persuading nature to affect my life. Is it wrong to love others as much as you love God? Jesus died for man, not for the other parts of the God-head. Jesus said that whatever you do to the least of these you do it unto me. I'm talking perfect love of course. Hmmm. I will accept Gods judgment. But, I lust after his mercies. Is it wrong to lust after the Lord? To be jealous after Him? I just want to know him more. To be as much like him as possible. Well, that's what Lucifer wanted too. I just want to do what God says. I seek after Him as for water in a dry and thirsty land. I really care of nothing else except for Him and His people. So much so it hurts sometimes. My passion tears away at me like hungry wolves.
Yes Lord, yes.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

over the coffee again...

okay i'm not really enjoying coffee, or any kind of hot beverage to say the least, but what, you might ask, am i drinking on this dreary rainy morning that hits the spot just like... ahhhhh... yes, that is nice. oh, it's root beer.

"root beer? rooooooot beeeeeer? blasphemy! and utter shame!"

well, not as bad as all that. sure, you might criticize me
for this breach in beverage-protocol... that i would dare to drink a cold carbonated soda from an aluminum can, when in fact the purpose of this essay is to be read and enjoyed while downing a fine name brand espresso, or while pondering over a bath-tub sized cup of foamy cappuccino, or just drinking some straight up black-as-tar campfire java. of course, it really doesn't matter now does it? one is soothing and the other is (to me) refreshing.

let us keep this one thing in mind: not all drinks are the same. some are quite cold, and some are diametrically opposed as being very hot, but rarely are drinks ever warm. can you imagine asking for a cup of hot tea at your favorite restaurant, and receiving instead a small dish of room temperature tap water with a suspicious looking tea-bag limply floating around inside of it? or how about ordering a wonderful strawberry milk-shake at your local ice cream parlor, and much to your disdain, they hand you a cup of syrupy muck that smells like rotting fruit. gross? yes, i agree.

in the same way, let us look at ourselves in this matter. what temperature are you? what is your thermostat set on? and what are you doing to affect the world around you. our spiritual lives should be accurately temperatured in the same way that we see it in the bible. in revelation 3:15 & 16, we hear the Son of Man saying that He wants a hot or a cold church, but because we are luke warm... He's gonna spew!

what does a hard working farmer want after he's been laboring all day in the corn fields, but to relax under a shady tree with a tall cool glass of refreshing lemonade or orange juice? or how about the elderly lady who, after walking to the grocery store in a foot and a half of snow to get groceries for herself and for her husband... doesn't she deserve a nice steamy mug of fresh herbal tea? does the farmer want hot cocoa? does the woman need ice water? no! they would only become sick and no good would come of it.

so what shall we do then? wake up and smell the coffee! we should be the hot drink in the blizzards of life, and we should become cool liquids throughout the deserts of loneliness, hot or cold, peaceful or powerful, recharging or relaxing... just make sure that in whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, and not for men.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Set the pace

My soul is poured out like water,
My spirit tires of me,
I have nothing left but you Lord,
I have nothing left but Thee.
This is my story,
And also my prayer,
That you, dear Lord, will set the pace,
And you will take me there.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The eternal theme of a persuasive word

Love. Commonly known as the most powerful force in the universe, this four letter word says much more than any other word in the world. Love, as the world would refer to it, is often referred to wrongly. Sometimes as sex, sometimes as marriage, even in reference to a persons favorite ice cream flavor. What we need to do is to cut back on our use of this word. All too often we spread it thin by saying that we love so many different things. "Liking is one thing, Lusting is another, but Loving is the hardest of them all." You see, Love must mean more than just a tingling up your spine followed by goose bumps on your arm. Love is so much more than the words "I love you" Love is an action. It is a choice. True love is rarely found in on T.V.. It is usually found in the reality of real life. Love is this: Sacrificing all for the sake of another. Taking something that is valuable to yourself and giving it up so that another may benefit. Love is an act of human kindness resulting in the prosperity of another individual. Love is a verb. Love is a noun. Love enfleshed is Jesus, for Jesus is love.

Have you ever cared so much for someone that it hurt? Have you tried and tried for the person to get better, no matter what the cost to your life? That is love. Jesus told us to consider the cost. The cost of what? The cost of love. Are we willing to die for Jesus? Are we willing to die for a family member? How about for a friend? An acquaintance? Someone you have never met? Your enemy?

The Bible tells us that there is no greater love that any man could ever show but that he would lay down his life for a friend. Well, lets take that concept a step further! Jesus laid down his life for those who ripped out his beard. For those that spit on him and killed him. Now that is true and genuine love.

I used to have a cat whose name was Snitches. I really loved her. I used to have a girlfriend named Tasha. I loved her too. I used to have an incredibly huge Leggo set, and boy I loved that thing to death! You see, this is the point that I'm trying to say! Our concept of the word is gone! We shouldn't say that we love these things. That cheapens the word. Only Jesus deserves our number one love! Then our families, friends, the world and lastly ourselves. Go out and try to love others before you love yourself. Just for one day! See what happens. It's a lot more difficult than you would have ever thought.

Anyway, Christianity is a beautiful mix of Jesus' love for us and of our love for Him. Just relax on this sea cruise of spiritual ecstasy. Give Jesus a kiss on the cheek and tell him how much you love him.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Perishing along the way to holiness

We learned that the Holy Spirit cannot turn as a switch.

We learned that all Spiritual learning is by comparison.

We must see the Holy Spirit through the Word of God.

The seven flames of fire burning is the same Holy Spirit.

The Spirit is the Spirit of Wisdom and of Understanding.

Who is this third person of the Trinity?

You are the One.

And I am yours.

How can I relate to you?

I must see you as I see the LORD.

The key to the supernatural is: Relationship.

And can I move into you?

"Yes, only as I move into you."

Then move... move in me... and abide forever.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Is my soul fate-destined when I give my sin to God?

Nothing happened to my soul because Jesus was made the payment for my sins! Yeha! Grace and love are so awesome! But like the Apostle Paul wrote: Shall we sin so that grace will abound all the more? God forbid! I don't want to be like a robot, and never show that I'm hurt or glad or mad or happy. I want to be honest, genuine, pure of motive and heart, loving, and compassionate. Only the "real" Christians get to Heaven. And Lord I want to be in that number. And I want to be a saint. Saintliness entails purity. Not perfection. God help me if I think I'm perfect. I used to believe in perfectionism, but it really is a nowhere road. Besides, This Pauly you know dies everyday. Thank God I'm not the same person as I was yesterday.

I'm gonna go read Galatians five again!


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

To be...

The true meaning of all the conjugated thoughts in the universe is this: God. God is the beginning of all there was, and ever has been, and all that is ever hoped to be. Through him was every thing made that was made and without him was nothing made that is made. In the beginnings of all the beginnings there ever was, was God. In God was the beginning of all there was to begin with. God made time and attributed the Sun and the moon to keep it straight. But, the only constant in all of creation (the only common denominator of God made time) is God. All the life in all the galaxies in all of this realm of existence were made by one word: "Be." He spoke it forth. (He could have spoken himself forth) Time is a curious thing to him... He doesn't follow its rules.

Einstein said that time slows as you approach the speed of light. God moves faster than light, and so he moves faster than time, surpassing it, slipping in and out of its stream like a God who knows what He's doing. Time to him is simply a thought away. That's eternity explained. Moving as God does at the speed of light. Isn't He the light? Aren't we the light of the world?
Time will one day run out. For you and for me. You can choose to accept the creator of light and time or reject him, and be caught... Frozen In Time. In time, there is an end, there was a start, and there will be an end. It will cease. Make no mistake. It could happen before you finish this poem. Poof! We Perish! But, God henceforth now and forevermore will live. Live with no end. He has graciously extended his hand towards us to come and join him. He has given us a choice... Eternal Life, or what's behind door number three. The choice is ours. We aren't robots. That's why it's so important to choose right. Not left, wrong or erase. Choose Good. Choose God, and be together with him, conjugated in the thoughts of the almighty maker and sculptor, master and manager of the universe. To be one with "The One."


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Untouchable Host

Who is my brother? Who is my sister? Well...

The real question besets us in this: Who isn't my brother? Who isn't my sister? I could say easily that there are those who I have no influence over, and they are not my brother and sister. But aren't they? I know that they are. I know that the idea of them not being my brother and sister is to separate myself from the collective of mankind. And as this is not the case, they are mine. In every decision that I make, somehow, somewhere, men that I have never heard, seen or imagined are affected by the small decisions of my day. Is it too big headed of me to think so? I think not. I make nets and they reach out... spanning invisible barriers and touching this "untouchable host". They are touched by me in my web of influence, whether I like it or not. Is it as real to me as this sweaty tent I am sitting in right now in the unbearable humidity, being eaten alive by grimy gnats, as it is to me when I am crusin down my favorite stretch of interstate in my convertible with wind whistling through my hair. Is it? Can it be that real to me every second of every day? No. of course not. It can never be that real. No one but God is that omniscient. Perhaps if I cared more, I could sense and feel these other invisibles and be able to make the right choices and help progress their journey towards God. Perhaps if I cared more... they could become a reality in my every day life. Perhaps. Perhaps they are my brothers and my sisters and my mothers and fathers. I say they are. For they are the untouchable host, and I pray that they will become as real to me one day as these gnats are now... I pray that they would become real. And touchable.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

against the rage (inspired by Powder J)

click click went the gloc
click click went my brain
try to put this all together
cause it's driving me insane

i think about livin
i think about death
how am i supposed to live
when you hold that to my chest

you think you got power
you think you got skills
how you feel now
when i got your dolla bill

oh sure you got rhythm
oh sure you got time
some rhyme on a dime
and then blow a whole line

i cant see them walkin
like the dead in their sleep
no peep like sheep
if you know what i mean

so click cliick mr scholar
click click mr brain
all your silly notions
with no need to explain

how you gonna feel
and how you gonna act
you know that this is real
and you know it to a fact

so click click powder j
click click pauly hart
all the homies want some
butt do they do their part?

and how to feel now
sitting large on isound
guess i'll keep on doin
if i'm shot and underground

and what am i to do
when all i see is fools
click click went the pen
click click i'm the tool

-pauly hart
saturday, october 15th 1:12PM

Copyright 2005 by Pauly Hart

Hard Nights Work

I spent all the time in the world
Washing your blood off of my hands
I’ve cleaned up all of your mess
I’ve encountered no rest
Watching the world spin to nothing

Now I crawl out
From under my rock
Clinging to hope everlasting
While I sing the songs
Of the unlovely boy
And you are still there dying

God of heaven and of my soul
Why oh why did I let you go

I spent all the money I had
Washing the wounds of the land
I destroyed all my best
To encounter your caress
Watching my life spin to nothing

Copyright 2004 by pauly hart

Pain and joy in a rusty blender

The choices we must make from day to day are astonishing. So many things to do, and so little time. Surprisingly, there seems to be a rising number of simple little "things" that we can do in each day. So many activities steal my heart today that it seems there is little time left over for people. Seemingly, the times when I choose the right thing to do, the wrong thing would have been easier and would have saved more time. But I know that I must not choose the wrong way, for in that way leads death. Doesn't the old proverb ring true that "the grass is always greener on the other side"? Well, that all depends on where you are looking. If you are always looking at what could have been, you will feel discontentment with where you are at right now. Why is it that we persist in looking "over there" when we could live in the here and now, if we choose. But why aren't we satisfied? Why doesn't the quest end?

I will tell you the reasons that I have found to be true. I feel that our primary dissatisfaction comes from our unhappiness in God. The reason that we don't ever "feel like it", is because we are not looking to the One who gave us the ability to feel to begin with. The only way to experience living peace is to live in peace. To live inside of him, and his perfect will. That is where we will find our life-long security. In him is where we will find our peace. In Him is where the meaning of life is. In Him is life and that life is the light of all men. In Him we can throw all of our pains away and find true joy. For He can turn our shallow days into a deepening river of ardent truthfulness. Let us not live our lives as the world does theirs, but let us live our lives as Christ lived his. The John 17 way. For what is life but a long string of connected experiences that lead towards a common purpose.

Let's face it. The only thing that you have to do is die. You don't have to accept life. Life would be short and hard, but you really don't want to just give up do you? No, generally people want what is (or what they think is) best for them. The only thing that I find confusing is why people don't accept and fear God. What will it take to convince these cold-hearted critics (a better name might be truth-obliterators). I figure they are too involved with their own sofa logic philosophies, that they wouldn't give Jesus the time of day. Oh, why is the world so full of people who make stupid choices? I know that, in my own life, I find that I must choose Gods way instead of my way. I've only been here around 25 years or so, and He's been here for a Trillion or two. So I look to Him for my important choices. I pray that as I live my life, more and more, that I can choose the one who first chose me.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

a thingy of waiting

Patience is a thing unsettled. It lurks within the tiredness of your soul and blossoms at times unheeded. It is formulated within ones inept ability to deal with the present, and springs out unawares in future circumstances that deem themselves importantly similar. It is the least sought after of all the virtues seeing that it is borne in hardship and distress. For patience is not only a virtue, but a work. A fruit that comes into season only once in a great while. the biblical term for it was "long-suffering"... and we can easily see why. You must suffer to let patience let her work her perfect work. Perhaps it is never perfected. or perhaps no one really knows because it has never been perfected. perhaps no one has ever took the time to fully explore it. perhaps this is a never perfected work. It takes time, and it take unquenchable amounts of patience. Persistence, Tenacity. Long Suffering. All synonyms with pain. Pain and joy are borne hand in hand both from mother patience. Patience is bought with the price of hardship. The joy of tribulation is small and is only seen as a glimmer on each mans horizon. Let patience grow. Then your horizon will draw nearer. Thanks to patience.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Pauly the Sinner Gets Forgiven.

Like it or not, I shall be remembered as a man after the things of God. That may bug some. This may discourage others into oblivion. Others who may have known me or met me may have felt something different. All I can say is that there was always something in the back of my mind, wanting to help others, and to get them farther along in their life than they were at that point. I have made a lot of stupid mistakes, and never knew how to make friends well and keep them happy, and ended up really hurting most of them... but they will survive. I have lied and cheated and done many a devious thing to my fellow man... but I know that God has forgiven a poor wretch such as myself. God has sent his smiling Son into my life and set me free from the wracking prison of despondency. And He is the only reason that I can give any good testimony whatsoever. Jesus saved me... and that's that. So on with life! Let the courage be in the battle and let me hold nothing back from living this life on and into the fullest of it's extent. I am a man of God, and He loves me. No matter what anyone remembers.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Thoughts of a related time and place have enveloped my journey here. I have fallen prey to the undisciplined practice of living in the "what if" syndrome. I see my days march along and wonder what consequences would befall me if i had done this or done that. i realize that this way of thinking is a corrupt way, and to be more precise... it is an unhealthy view on the universe in general. Shouldn't i be more concerned with the here and the now... but there i go again. i keep doing this to myself. the now is what i live in. not the past, or any alternate reality in this present, or even in the impending future. i plan and schedule, but it is the now that i function within. so i make plans to not make plans. striving for a future where my present consists of whole-hearted plans of the now. the now. the here.

The beginning of my life.

Copyright 2000 by pauly


God made all men
and we are all created beings
we are given brains and hands
we are given purity
we are given much
too much i feel
for we take Gods masterpiece
and desecrate it with lies
lies of corruptness
lies of disembowelment
lies of extrusion
God made man
in His image and likeness
He created us

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


The word that was spoken
so long ago
from the mouth
of the almighty
still dwells
in the hearts of men.


For if we pretend
and ignore
those worlds
of sick and hurting
then we call Christ
to no effect
and that He died
once and for all
we cause Him
to die all over again


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Faces that only we can save

As the mere existence of Christianity wraps itself around the fragile shell of our cultural Jesus (who only wears a suit) there are tens of thousands who starve, who bleed, who sweat and plead for a half a cup of goats milk.

For the millions of dollars spent on cat food, for the thousands of tons of food wasted each year... there are millions of lives drowned and wasted.

All of the bloated bellied children might as well have never been born, if they will live the life that they are destined to live if we don't do something about it.

We will have to reckon with our sins on judgment day. I, for one, will use my life to give to others. I cannot sit by and watch all of this just happen.
They are my brothers. My sisters. My mothers and my fathers. And they bleed the same red blood.

I pray with my help they will bleed no longer.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

unique travels

Say goodbye, she had told me. I always hated that. Saying goodbye I mean. I had always liked her. She had ways that brought out the very best in me. I believe that it was fate that had put us together. Or, perhaps it was God. I have loved her since the first moment that we met so many years ago. Loved her enough to marry her. And now it was over. Now it was all over. It was yesterday.

It was yesterday, like so many years ago. I had been at the church late working on some curriculum for the sunday school classes. Some pretty good stuff actually. Yawning, I glanced at my watch. Near quitting time already. I was tired and it could wait until morning. I figured I should get home a little early to see how Heather was doing. Today was grocery day, and she had taken the van so that she could have more room to load in whatever she bought. More room. More money spent. She never did anything halfway. Oh well, that's one of the reasons that I liked her so much. She had class.

Traffic was light and I arrived home in around ten minutes. There was no car outside, but that wasn't anything new. She was probably at Glendas anyway. I went to get a snack. Strange. No carrots. She hadn't even been home from the grocery store. Something was wrong.

The phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
"Mr. Hart?" The voice was distant.
"What happened?" I asked before he could tell me.
"Uh, well, Do you have a wife? A Mrs. Heather Hart?"
"Tell me what happened." I repeated, "Now."
"It was in the Supermarket... She's had a stroke."
I paused.
"Mr. Hart?"
"Where are you?" I said.
"At Memorial Hospital Mr. Hart, She's..."
"I'll be right there."
I was there in seven minutes.
She had told me to say goodbye. I always hated that.
Saying goodbye.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

over the coffee...

i went to a local coffee house the other day and ordered one of my favorite drinks, and a drink that had been suggested that i get at this certain spot. mocha. as i waited there with my friend, i remember thinking that it would taste really good and that it would soothe my battered nerves, but when i received my mocha it looked good, but tasted awful. the fluffy white cream on the surface tasted like shaving cream, and the warm brown liquid inside was nothing but muddy water. as i deliberately finished it off, i can remember telling my friend that i was thoroughly disappointed and dissatisfied with the entire experience. not only had my mocha been disgusting, but the price that i paid for it was astronomically high.

now, as i look back at that event i realize that there could have been many factors leading to the experience that left me so dumbfounded and gasping for explanation. the coffee itself could have been rancid, the cup dirty, the preparation fouled, or the ingredients wrong. but i think that the #1 reason that the mocha tasted the way it did to me... was because of me. my friend had a wonderful time, and i didn't. my day had been ruined by the one thing that i was expecting to lift my day up. perhaps it was the fact that i was expecting this to be the answer to my solutions that my day was ruined. i could have gotten any number of things off of the menu, but i chose the most ideal, and perfectionistic to take away my problems. why do i seem to think that something could soothe my battered nerves, what gives me the right to expect so much out of a bean beverage anyway? don't i know that whatever it offers me won't last, and that everything that i receive from it will be of little value, since it is not really doing anything for me, but rather, i am taking from it.

sometimes, we as humans, pretend to be hunky-dory on the outside; while on the inside we are withering away like a diseased dandelions. and while we look towards other people, things, and idealism's to keep us satisfied, we really should be looking for the true cure for our disease, not just topical ointments for our symptoms. if we continue to look for others and other things as the reason to stay alive and as them for the purpose in our life, then we will end up just like that mocha that i had. useless, and tasteless. you see, that mocha was probably a quality product, but because it wasn't perfect... then it was all wrong and no thing or no one is perfect except for God.

God shows us in the Garden of Eden how to behave and live. He shows us that the perfect way to be is forever with Him. letting Him see us for who we really are, really is the only true way to have an honest relationship with Him. perfectionism is one thing. but God is quite another. For God doesn't have to be perfect, He is perfect by nature. And He is the only one who can cleanse us from the yuckiness of being human. unlike the false sense of security one gets with a trivial comfort, God never loses His hold on His children. it is God, and God alone that is the one to wash us and renew us and it is only He who can truly make us feel worthwhile, and soothe our battered nerves.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

untitled and unsure

a word dried on my lips when she informed me that all i had to do was to ask the gut feeling my heart shouted was to accept what i had already seen i have denied myself any emotion since i have lost so much in these last years and writing has been the only emotional release that i have seen but she has asked me to be with her and to be her friend and lover for i have waited for such a long time and i really am more scared than i let on but in the asking i have allowed my heart to take one giant leap of faith and that gut feeling that my heart shouted was not so far off for if love is more than a physical attachment to the things we desire if love is truly a decision that we make from day to day then i will surrender i will see to it that i no longer deny my body and my heart and my spirit i will not let my inhibitions hold me back from the plan God has for me she asked me and i want this for myself because it has been a long time then the words that had glued themselves to the roof of my mouth solidified and i said yes to her and accepted all that she had to offer me and i am not sorry or will i ever be sorry for the things that i have led myself into because life is too short to feel regret and i will never let love slip by again

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The start of it all

The start of it all

I guess I was in Russia one morning when I started writing. I was on my first over seas missions trip in St. Petersburg, Russia. We had four or five dramas we were scheduled to do that day, and I was not ready for anything, except for breakfast. I was tired, angry, hungry, and in a foul mood. So I found a place to myself, grabbed a pen and started writing...

Ever since that day, I have written. Little did I realize that my poems were any good. I thought my over active imagination had gone too far. I would write on any scraps of paper that I could get hold of. I did not label or date anything. It really was a reckless quest. But God knew what He was doing. He was in total control. It was at that time that I met Jennifer. She was also in Russia, and she encouraged me to write down my feelings, and ideas on paper, for she wrote also. And, though we only got to know each other for a short time, we became fast friends. Well, we started writing and exchanging poems, and through her, God showed me that this was something that I needed to use. This was something that, if not shared, would waste away in me. The gift was alive.

You see, all my life I've been hyper active, both physically and mentally. Though it was a great help in my art classes, it usually got me into a lot of trouble. Until I recognized them as gifts, many things in my life I had counted as a curse that God had put upon me to punish me. I was wrong, they were a part of me. God had put them there for a reason and I needed to find out why. Well, you are reading one of the gifts that God has given me. The ability to take a thought, wrestle it down, strap it up, and throw it on to a slab of paper. The ability to write.

Now I use the gift. I nurse the small spark into a flame, and send it licking the sides of mediocrity, until it turns into a raging, smoldering, blaze of glory. I've met many people, and I've told many them that they need to write a book. Everyone has a story. A testimony. Something that they have done that others can look at and admire. Not everyone can to live among lepers, and disease infested people everyday. So go look at Mother Theresa. Not everyone can carry a twelve-foot cross around the world. So go look at Arthur Blessit. Not everyone can preach to over half a million people at once. So go look at Billy Graham. Not everyone has the ability to do the things that you do. Now go look at yourself. Why don't you share what God has done for you? I did and I will.

I hope that you enjoyed my little essay. I believe that God has given me this gift to do something positive. And I know that it will change lives. At least it had better. Otherwise, I'd better find something else to do with my free time. But, let no one despise me for these writings. I am using something God gave me, and in doing so, I am an owner of a small piece of Heaven. So, as you read, please try and see the world through my eyes. For I do not see the average world that others see. I see a world through the eyes of Jesus. A world of great pain, but also one of great joy in Jesus Christ.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


{inspired by the stupidities of democracy}

how much clint
could a bill clint clint
if a bill clint
could clint ton?


how much gore
could a tipper gore gore
if a tipper gore
could tip gore?


how many cents
could a govern ment mint
if a govern ment
could mint sense?

"dangifiknow, ask anadarko"

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Toad Lord

"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"that is imperishable,
that is immeasurable,
that is omnicient,
that is omnipotent,
that is immutable,

that is surrealistic,
that is unstoppable,
that is unmovable."
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he,
"that is the lord"

and Jim leaned over to Melissa and said:
"Man, them frogs sure is loud tonight!"

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


(scene opens)

loading up the car to go to the drive in...

(music starts)

wish bone
meet the wish bone
it's a bone right out of thanksgiving
from the super-food barn
it's a frozen good for $12.13

let's pull... the wishbone with all our might
to find out... who just may and who just might

when you've
got the wishbone
you'll have a wishbone pull-apart time
a greasy mess time
you'll have a stupid time!


fred gets thrown out by the saber-toothed cat
musical director gets fired for cueing up the wrong song

the end


Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


there was a mouse in my ear
it squeaked all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a cat...

there was a cat in my ear
it meowed all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a dog...

there was a dog in my ear
it barked all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a lion...

there was a lion in my ear
it roared all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a elephant...

there was a elephant in my ear
it stomped all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.

and now it's dead!
oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a mouse...

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

cassie chicago

she sat, we sat, i sat

on the train... wondering

why we were in iowa... laughing

at old mens pickup lines...

and she-males getting high...

at other stuff too lame

to mention here.

i thought, she thought, we thought

of everything that went wrong

with being born in the second week

of a stubborn october

thoughts of past, linking together

as one story to the next...

i guess no one ever knows

who you'll run into on a train

so cassie, here's the poem

i said i would write you

on that second week

in a stubborn september

it's a poem about us

and that wierd bed-headed guy

(well that really doesn't pertain)

um... where was i?

ah, yes! poetry is the poetry

of a train ride thru the corn

we cry hug and giggle...

and a friendship is born.

Copyright 2005 by pauly hart


at a coffeeshop
sipping a flavored beverage
thinking that i will never
be in her arms again
nibbling at her ear
making her scream

i want to see her
i want to be with her
oh well
if i never get her awake

i have had enough of her
in my dreams


i met a girl
the other day
she smiled at me
as we ate pizza together
the other day
we stretched out
and flew across the lake
the other day
her mother died
like mine did before
the other day
on canadian soil
we cried before God

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

porch light

my sin is a bug
drawn unto the light
i am a moth
and i flutter away
i am in dark
and i knock away
banging my shins
as i stumble
Jesus is light
and i see his reflections
but to turn around
is the scariest still
my gain is bliss
all i forfeit is pain
God did His part
i turn and obey

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

opened and needed

i need all the time in the world from a just and loving God.
i need all His silent forgiveness to help me through today.
i need every ounce of courage the angels use to worship Him.
i need so much more than i am capable of dealing out myself.
i need the spiritual lifting of the Man who was always my God.
i need the All in All. the Alpha and Omega. the Bright Morning Star.
i need Him, because life is nothing without His tender kiss.
i need Him, because without Him, life is not life.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

daydreaming of lint

here i sit upon this craggy cliff
i justify all my indiscrepancies
will i linger in this miff
or blame certain complexities
little do i realize that
angels linger near my heart
and despite my being bald and fat
Jesus is into that saving part
so linger do i no longer and
sit lazily down here in the sand
i get up and then dance away
my chains not iron... they were clay
i raffle off what is left
my stability is all bereft
i sit and ponder with friends
just how to go and make amends
euthanasia, abortion rights,
i tire of wondering what is right
why can't i live why can't i die,
i'm scared of both, but still i try
these things belong; these things i think...
they belong in the kitchen sink
they belong to me,
i think, i think.
i depend on strangers to make my food.
i depend on the poor to harvest my coffee.
i stand unique alone, un-meek.
i belong to the set apart elite.
but for some obtuse reason, it doesn't fit.
this doesn't fit, this thought life crime.
these thoughts i think...
are they still mine?
here i sit upon this craggy cliff
i justify all my indiscrepancies
little do i realize that
Jesus is into that saving part

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

La La La

Ayatollah has gone the way of the jackel

And the people pray to a setting soul

And wail in Farsi to revive their hearts anew

Whilst dreams die in my heart for 1989

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


I am in anguish
I am in pain
I lie awake now
My strength gone again

Where is my righteousness
Where is my gain
Why do I lose so
With nothing to gain

Why do I know this
And do not abstain
Why is my souls fear
in bursting with flames

I am an evil man
I am not the sane
Where is my healing
Why am I vain

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Bus Station Chance Meeting Following With A Poem Of Longing And Loss

I'm walking in a circle
You're walking in one too

You can share my spiral
But I may never walk with you

The thoughts inside your head
Are hidden in your eyes

Why seek the truth
To answer it in lies

Life is but a station
That will take us different ways

Time absolute
When your nights are your days

Come 2 in the morning
You will leave, get on the bus

Does your circle separate the difference
Between you, me, and us?

Written for a stranger and a friend
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Smoking is wrong
Smoking is unhealthy
Smoking is a sin
I am addicted
I must stop
I must reconcile myself

To clean air

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Never pet a burning dog
Never juggle rabid porcupines
Never toy with a polar bears emotions
Never give a stampeding elephant a pedicure
Never tickle a vomiting octopus
Never brush the teeth of a hungry shark
Never sleep next to a grumpy cobra
Never kick a grizzly bear in the eye
Never pee on a silverback gorilla

Never place a rabid squirrel down your pants
for the purposes of gambling

With thanks to the Rabid Oscillating Weasel
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Vast Unknown

I hate not knowing the future. Sometimes it just really drives me nuts that I can't just pull my own destiny out of thin air... As much as I try, life seems to be always the next step away. I cannot fully grasp it. Our futures hold so much for us that we don't see, It's amazing that we even get anywhere at all. We have to trust our Lord Jesus Christ to take us where we need to be. For me, the most painful things are often the daily things that get in my hair and seem to hang about nagging at me day in and day out. Then there are those times where things just come to that dramatic and climatic standstill... your eyes vision narrows to a blackened tunnel and your heartbeat comes into your ears thumpthumpthumping like a insane drum slowing.

I hate those moments.

Yet we each have them. Whether daily or just once, we have all felt that inescapable moment if only for a second of: "Oh God, what now?"

Herein lies my pain, the pain of loss and the pain of the unknown. Both are silent and both scream at us all.

Oh God, what now?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

The unquiet of the night

Late in the night
Late in the eve
She comes to me

I want to touch her
Wet and desirous
But I find myself
In a pit, drowning

everything I try
I am thrown to the wolves.

Copyright 2005 by pauly hart

Indigo Dark Burn (The Dark Sonet)

Indigo Dark Burn

The Dark Sonet

By Pauly Hart

For More information, go to Paulyhart.com
or write pauly @ pauly@hotmail.com

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

We are the brothers of destiny, and the rulers of thought
We are those inside your mind and your TV
We are the small voices in society
We are the left hand of the rulers
We are the right index finger of dictators
We are the nutritional information on your cereal box

We are the food pyramid
We are the FBI FDC NAACP IRS and the wedding cake
We will tell you what you are
We are the school system
We are the judicial system
We are NBC ABC CBS FOX and the Sunday brunch

We are those whom you forget
We are the new car commercial
We are the system you buck
We are the street evangelists
We are your funerals
We are your gods
We are your tarot cards

We are your hatred
We are the bar you love
We are the one
We control the transmission
We are
I am
Who are you

We are you in disguise

I search, and find nothing...
I soar the tides, I surf the winds...
Eternity moans and breaths unto me: nothing.
I shall continue, I shall find that lost desire.
I, Indigo, shall return.

Do you believe me?
You must.
*Evil Grin*

I know what you do not.
You will believe.

I am you looking forward
Terrible isn't it?
(gleeful giggle)
You will die with me
I am you in disguise

(caged in a thousand tons of granite)

I, Angel!
Bright flurried starflyer
Seeing your soul
Seeing your eyes

Your eyes are shut
Mine are crusted
but i see more than you
I am knowledge
I am power
I am...


i... feel so lost
i feel?
i have been around
humans too long

all power is no power
compared to you
*thoughtful muse*
humans are immune
when choice becomes them

Do you believe me?
*Angst smile*

Angel bright, a wonder.
I come from Bolivia... to here, to hear.
Do you believe me?
*Frustrated smirk*
Demon knight, wonder love.
I come from yonder, to find life.

I reach, I preach, I forget nothing.
I am infinity, I am the universe.

(they came long far ago)
(they been here ever since)

Dark burn... I, Indigo
I ever search... I am infinity
I started in the mind.
I started in Bolivia.
You must believe me.
I am no angel.
{Hateful smile}
Only a dark one.

I think that I feel like a zombie
all these years that I walk alone
I look for places i've never been to
give me something that I need
bet what it is I do not know

I kill for knowledge lusting for more
I feel life but am blind, deaf, dumb
Life death light dark you me them

Lift the Crypt at the gates
I am a zombie
A shadow of things that are
past and discouraged

I am kissing your thoughts
wondering if you see me
I want to taste you

I take bodies
down to the pit
and chew

Underscored am I
forsaken I am
- lucid smile -
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind

I shall burn
< disquieting grin >
I do not mind
it so much

for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me

I will sharpen my wits
I will ascend
I will become that which I worship
I will I will I will to will
I shall achieve all glory
I shall reckon with the Creator
I shall become His master
I shall be above

I am perfect in all I am
I am the un-created one
I am the image of me
I am that which I think I am
I will sit on the throne
I will come off the stool
I will be above
I will be god

Discover more to life
He says
He says discover
Lord we call him...
of flies... maggots... worms
#forlorn shrug#
then i am a maggot
"Yesss, Baaal."
we say, we envision
his brain sucked dry

(are you getting this?)

there is no order, only chaos
and death and the smell of rotting
and bile and fire and film and fire and bracken
and larva hatching in your ears

i hate my job
except for it led me to you


^satisfied gurgle^

every time you look at me
every glimpse I catch of you
you say that no good thing is free
no my friend this is not true

death it comes to those who wait

for those who hang on every word
i know that i cannot compete
for suffering is in your place

doomed to wail
doomed to fail
doomed to fall into my sins
doomed to follow
doomed to wait
doomed to sit through my mistakes

follow you through miry words
follow you at every turn
you often give me what i need
I despise these bridges burned
humor comes rarely ever now
And no one bends to listen
I'll take you to my promised land
for i seek to know you

hear my heart
take my complaint
come and do as i have done
for i am burning
i am shamed
i will wallow in my own fate

fear is unsolicited
anger burns within
i shall let them have their hold
i am doomed to sin
create a hate for beauty now
I do not get what i can't afford
I have all my indescrepancies
and i seem to be...

Oh, I can twist!
Twisting is the only thing I have been good at
For many many years.
The ability to twist. To lie.
To believe.
Believe in a lie.

(wracking their souls for freedom)
(they came long time ago)
(they've be here a long time now)

>annoying giggle<

Lord of the maggots and Lord of the flies
Lord of no Lords but Lord of your life


I love to be in control of things
To deceive is the greatest gift of all
To take a perfectly straight lie
And twist it into a truth
///I did not say THE truth... did i///

+forceful laugh+

I am truth
I am a lie
Truth is a lie
Lies are the truth


I have traveled the stars
to bring you this wisdom

I am your nightmare

nighttime sleeper

evening weeps and thinks
destruction nears and bleeds
nighttime sleeps

I am aroused by the new moon.
A lifeless circle of black.
I am aroused and awakened.
I am the wolf on the hunt.
No one sees my invisible shape.
I am the wolf in the shadows.
I am betrayed by the starlight.
The cosmos stretches dizziness.
I am deceived and detained.
I am the Nighttime-Lord.
King of Vampires.

I love the dark.
I probe.

nighttime awakens
hungry red eyes
search feel and probe
nighttime awakens

probe search
probe find
search probe
search find

find probe
find search
find you

capture you
captures you
i capture
i will catch you

i am vampiric
i am form
i am demon
i will catch you
yum yum


Stars before me, Light behind.
Faster, faster, I burn, I travel and fly.
Angel bright. Busied Starflyer.

I Indigo, like Merlin, foresee all.
I see all, know all dark thoughts.

I know all energies
I know your energy
Your thoughts

I feel your energy
pulse though my head
as I think about your soul
while "she" is away

I hear voices
in my head
but they are only those that
i choose to ignore

Power lines stretch
extension cords elongate
speaker wires surround
outlets all around

I want something that
only comes in dreams
and in motion picture films
like the most recent Star Wars

The force is something intangible
or so Yoda says it is so
but if you can feel it all around you
then why can't you touch it?

I feel and realize and subside and control
i want and need and desire
i kill and maim and destroy for lust
but what is it unless there is energy

Energy enwrapped my fabric and core
lust and energy and force and power
surround ensue envelop enrapture
all around and i feel it now i think

I want your energy

|Lustful Drool|

I stand in darks path, I... Indigo.
I search for lost hope.
I've started in Bolivia...
And have been lead here.

(listening to you sleep)
(they wake now from the graves)
(wanting to feed again)

Lead to the Disjoined States of the Americas.
Where Money is god of gods.
The almighty whore.

Whore of Babylon.
You writhe in septic juice.
Mammon Messiah.
Articulate the Kings Purse.
The Dollar.
Almighty Greenback of Strife.

Carry away.
All true wealth of Soul.
You are the Cream of Desire.
Blackest of Night.
Breakfast of Crime.
How They love you.
How I love you.

(listening to you cry)

I have realized that life givers and life takers.
are very closely joined together.

These co-dependant
recyclers leech and love, and take and give.

I think that we need to put these two in their place.
The givers always seem to have nothing,

and the takers seem to have it all together.
They have what they want, what they need

and all but what they desire.
For what they desire is nothing good.

What they want is the struggle of flesh.
They desire the undesirables of Gods heart.

These are the leeches... and they...

They are my kind of people.

I came to you to tell you
To tell you of a Hate
A Hate that burn my soul
A Hate for all you are
I hate you and shall
Nibble on your knees in Hell
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... but I am a lost cause...

(demon nephilim)
(calling out)

Underscored am I
forsaken I am

> lucid smile <
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind
I shall burn
- disquieting grin -

I do not mind
it so much
for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me
in fear

(through the)
(of your minds)
(third eye)

I love fear...
Fear captivates ones' soul
Feeling the forged iron of adrenaline
When you dream of monsters

Become the monster you dream of
Destroying faith and hope
Hell on the Earth
When you dream like this
Fear is the lover of Devils
The lover of Satan's cream

Fear captivates ones soul
Freeing deaths hold opening the box
so you no longer believe in...


>dark smile<


>an even darker laugh<
>lots of chewing noises<

(listening to you pray)
(demon nephilim)

And here we shall sit
The mutant misfit
Demon and Man
Joined at the hip

You could turn away from me
You could choose another path

You will not, deep in a rut
I cannot. I am forever stuck
You are the one who sucks
I wallow in your sinful muck

I wish...

I was renewed
My future now seems
ill favored and bleak
I wish I believed

Damn Satan!
Why is he the one
Damn Satan!
We will not win...


I scream at night
I am condemned
To lie beneath
To feel the bends

There is no one
Who'll cure my sin
For I am demon

Neither fear nor shame
No quest or map
No hopeless leap
Of questioned crap

I am in anguish
I am in pain
I lie awake now
My strength gone again

Where is my hope
Where is my gain
Why do I lose so
With going insane

Why do I know this
And do not abstain
Why is my souls fear
in bursting with flames

I am the evil one
I am not the sane
Where is my healing
Why am I vain

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

now gone
my eyes
in the smoke

I watch now
with ears
gone deaf
my hands
suspended far
above me
in testimony

in sacrifice
to lord Satan...
I am impaled
through the
my rotted tongue
eaten by crawlies...

I, Dark Burn
the ungrateful dead
ending my life
as I ended others...
and lord Satan

for I, his puppet

performed well.
Damn my Lord Satan...
Like I have damned me...

Demon night. Starflyer. Starflyer.
I... Indigo, burn this past.

I will believe it no longer.
Belief? Ha. Belief in the morning star...
Expulsion. Separation.
Forget the past,
I want to know the future

I study this future, and the now.
Do you believe that I search?
Listen and believe.

[ Disgusted grin ]

Stop doubting, listen... believe.
I am infinity, and I search it through.
I angel bright, fly along steadily.
Searching... ever searching... searching.

(calling your name)
(calling your name)

I find out fear
In peoples eyes


It stands out wide
And hair stands affright
A salad bar of doom
The buffet of the damned

My vision fades with them
They are the scarlet shadows
I am the whore of Babylon
They scream into the night

There is no hope for me.
But the knowledge is there.
I ever foresee and search.
There is none for me.
No forgiveness for demons.
Do you believe me?
/ Hopeless sigh
You dream of dreams
You hope of hope
You fill the void
You've placed within
You cannot cope

(to do their bidding)

Evil surrounds me
Love comes and chokes me
I, benefactor of all I see

Nothing surrounds me.

It's all the same
You've lived a joke
You flunk the test
You took to score
You dropped the ball


Darkness surrounds me.

You failed me now
You are a joke
You're arbitrary
Life's lost on you
You are insane

Nothing is heaven
Black comes around me
I, Inheritor of all I see

Hatred surrounds me

(and join them)

~ Dark Grin ~

Do you see?
We win!

(Are you getting this?)

But no...

You human kind dream
Of life so free and nice
When all you really know
Are feelings shod with ice
I know you more than you
I recognize you in sleep

Watching ever faithfully
A Kosmocrateraus is me
Fun is evil and the same
Is Evil fun for me
I cannot be the judge of sane
For Indigo is my name

Fun in evil is my soul
And wretchedness is you
For I alone will hold you near
When Satan comes for you
Do not be deceived my love
Christians have their hope
And decadence, sloth and decay
are found on MTV

I cannot be the judge of sane
Dark Burn is my name

I will see this through

but my fate
with my lord
will I suffer

Won't you come with me?

^wicked laugh^

no forgiveness
come with me

no mercy
come with me

no hope
come with me

(to hell)


Jesus Northstar

Guide me ever onward Father
Touch me with your wondrous might
Pull me like you pull your compass
Treat me like you treat your children

Jesus Northstar, guide me onward

Electric Life, I'm charged with your love
Give me signs that I'm on course
Hold me, touch me with wholeness
Bring me closer to your fire

Store me in your life-sized wonder
Break me on your rocky shore
Hold me till the noon-tide washes
shield me in every way

Tighten jigs and pull them tautly
Batten hatches in my soul
Trim the sails and hold them steady
Pull me into life's' hard tide

Jesus Northstar, pull me ever

Jesus Northstar, your my light.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

"Forever friend"

Friends I have had
friends I have known
But where is the friend
who has seen me and grown
For friendship it seems
is seldom indeed
Cause friends are forever
in want or in need
And you my dear friend
Who now hold my heart
Shall I never forsake
and never depart

Oh take me away
my friend and my love
And sing me the song
that feels like a hug
And whisper to me
Your secrets unknown
You are the one
whom I love and I know
You own my smile
Forever and true
Here is my heart
I give it to you

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Footprints on the Hart

Tiny footprints
Large footprints on my heart
Footprints by lovers
Footprints by my friends
Footprints I needed
And those I did not
I have been stepped on
Massaged by Birkenstocks
And punctured by cleats
Footprints of love
Joy, pain and laughter
I see my life
By the marks they have made
My ups and my downs
My goods and my bads
Footprints of Jesus
All over my head
Footprints of her
Alone in my bed
I know his feet
Were shod inside peace
I know those toes
Were trusted indeed
For I am not stepped on
A doormat, am not
But my heart is open
For love and for hate
Footprints you say
How common is that
A footprint is dusty
And dust gets in cracks
So every inside part
Of my life
Has been muddied
And dustied and crudied
By mud
For tears, sweat and blood
Have made the dust wet
And footprints are left
All alone in the muck
And footprints are all
That matters to me
Footprints of you
Footprints of me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part one

She sat there making a list
onto her notebook
from her cellphone
and scrolling, and scrolling
then a yawn
I wonder if in another life
I could have worked up the nerve
to say hello

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part two

She must be waiting for someone
She is waiting
Looking towards me
Sliding off me
like easy butter, looking at the wall
Splot. You can actually hear those eyes
Looking at the empty wall
Her thoughts are empty
Her time is free
She is availible
She is bored

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part three

I think that I should say hello
to this girl, but how long am I
going to stay in town to get to
know her? Well? What's the
point man? To establish
something that won't last any-
way? To begin a non-sensical
journey with a sensible soul?

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart


Girl part four

Anxious. Quiet. Surreal.
Uninterested. Unwinding.
My mind is lubricated with eye fodder.
She is a vision.
She is a quest
I sojourn
(And sneek glances)
At her...
Holy Grail.

Written by pauly hart
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart