The Insider (movie)

The Insider (1999)
Al Pacino, Russell Crowe



Watch the Movie
http://viooz.co/movies/3586-the-insider-1999.html

Watch the interview that made the movie possible
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-20094836-10391709.html

Here's the IMDB page for the movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140352/

Here's Jeffrey Wigands wikipedia page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Wigand

Here's Jeffreys Homepage
http://www.jeffreywigand.com/index.php


Amazon.com - Chaos Storage

How can something be random on purpose? Well, Amazon, the world’s largest online retailer, stores its goods in a chaotic disorder. But only at first glance, because there’s order behind the apparent disarray. It’s called chaotic storage.



How does chaotic storage work?

A warehouse for chaotic storage – sometimes also known as random storage – is basically a shelving system holding the products. So far, it doesn’t differ from a warehouse with fix storage positions. What makes a chaotic storage system so special is the flow of material.

This starts at the goods-in section: the warehouse staff takes incoming goods to the shelving system, where they are placed in unoccupied shelf positions. Each shelf space has a unique barcode and every product as well. The staff uses handheld scanners to record the shelf space and the corresponding product, thus telling the computer, where the goods are located.

When an incoming order requires these goods to be picked, the computer compiles a picking list. It then sends order pickers to exactly those shelf spaces where the requested products can be found, according to the database. In order to keep this database current, each article that is removed from the shelf needs to be scanned again.



By the way, chaotic storage does not imply automatic storage. Although it is possible to operate a chaotic storage system automatically, it is not always the best alternative. Amazon for instance, still needs quite a lot of manpower, because a simulation of the storage processes showed that hiring warehouse staff was more economical than automation.



What are the advantages of chaotic storage?

Chaotic warehouses are much more flexible than conventional ones and can respond to changes in the product range much easier. This reduces the amount of planning, because neither the range of products as a whole nor the sales volume of particular goods need to be known or planned in advance.

In addition, chaotic storage allows to use the available storage space more efficiently, because freed-up space may be refilled immediately. In a storage system with fixed positions on the other hand, some shelf space is always reserved for certain articles, even if their actual stocks are considerably lower.

Chaotic storage is a time saver, not just when stocking up on goods but also during order picking. Incoming goods are simply placed in free spaces on the shelves. The computer will then create picking lists with optimised routes whenever someone orders products. This way, the distance the warehouse staff needs to cover is shortened. Furthermore, picking lists at Amazon are not sorted by order, which means that the picked products have to be combined to shipments in an additional step.

The amount of training required by new employees is also remarkably lower when using chaotic storage. It is not necessary for them to memorise the entire warehouse layout or even single storage locations. This will allow you to replace staff more easily or hire seasonal workers during peak times.

What are the requirements for chaotic storage?

Intuitively, most people would store similar goods together, virtually sorting them according to predefined characteristics. This would place all books in one section of the warehouse and all toys in another section.

But that’s not necessary in a chaotic storage system. The products only need to share the most basic requirements with regard to storage (i.e. temperature, humidity). Further characteristics don’t have to be considered. In a chaotic warehouse, all kinds of different articles may lie directly next to each other, such as books, toys, sport equipment, electronics, DVDs, jewelry and digital cameras.



Exceptions are made for fast-moving articles, because it wouldn't be worth storing them, and those items which are too heavy or bulky for normal storage operations. Articles like these have to be stored separately. Perishable goods are also not suitable for chaotic storage.

Needless to say, all the goods have to be barcoded and entered into the database. The same holds true for all possible storage spaces. The computer also needs a kind of map of the entire warehouse, enabling it to compute optimized picking routes.

Chaotic storage is dependent on a reliable warehouse management system. If the computer would freeze or lose data, warehouse operations would need to be suspended until the problem is solved.

This type of storage is particularly interesting for distribution centres handling a large number of items with small stocks each. This usually is the case in the online retail business.



Also, orders with articles from different categories are a common occurrence there, so storing them according to categories would not yield any advantages. Quite the contrary: the staff at Amazon takes care not to place articles from the same category directly adjacent to each other. This improves order picking accuracy because mix-ups are much less likely.

The term “chaotic storage” is by the way only justified from a human point of view, but is not at all correct from the standpoint of a computer. For a warehouse management software, a chaotic storage system is nothing more than a sequence of calculations and database operations.

Do you think that Amazon is a good example for a chaotic storage system or do you know a better one?

Every First Person Shooter Walk Thru

Crazy State Laws

America's Craziest Laws



Alabama
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Masks may not be worn in public
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
You may not drive barefooted.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.


Alaska
In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.


Arizona
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
It is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
Tucson: Women may not wear pants.


Arkansas
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
It is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.
Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.; Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term; It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday; No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54
The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.


California
A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.
Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
A regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Bathhouses are against the law.
Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds; Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor); Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
In California it is illegal to have caller ID
In California it's against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance. (Someone needed to be kissed!)
In San Francisco it's illegal to play poker in public or gamble in a barricaded room.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage; It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
No alcohol beverages can be displayed within five feet of a cash register of any store in California that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Riverside: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
San Diego: It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar; The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
San Francisco bans any "mechanical device that reproduces obscene language."
San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name "San Francisco." It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission from the city. Since the Supreme Court upheld the copyright, San Francisco has had an annual $300 million surplus every year.


Colorado
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.


Connecticut
A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
Balloons with advertising on them are illegal in Hartford, Conn.
Bloomfield, Conn: It's against the law to eat in your car.
Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Guilford: Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
Hartford: You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands
In colonial times, Hartford, Conn., had an ordinance that allowed any resident to rent the town chain for 2 pence.
In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
In Connecticut it is illegal to pirouette while crossing the street.
In Hartford, Conn., it's illegal to plant a tree in the street.
In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on Sunday.
In Simsbury, Conn., it's illegal for a politician to campaign at the town dump.
It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
Waterbury: It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
You may not educate dogs.


Delaware
Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.



Florida
Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned; While intoxicated, being under influence of narcotics is prohibited; It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired;
Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town.
Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
Failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
It is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
In Saratoga, Florida it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday.
Key West: Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Oral sex is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel; A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.
Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00; You may not catch crabs.
Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.


Georgia
Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
A Kennesaw, Ga. law makes it illegal for every homeowner not to own a gun, unless you are a convicted felon, conscientious objector or disabled.
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Atlanta: Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp; One man may not be on another man's back.
Columbus: Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday; It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.
Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
In Columbus, Georgia it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
In Georgia, movie houses that want to show films on Sunday must reserve one showing a month for religious material.
It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.
In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.
It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Signs are required to be written in English.
St. Mary's: No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.


Hawaii
Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all "lawful and moral" commands of their parents.
It's illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
You will be fined if you do not own a boat.


Idaho
It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
Idaho Falls: If you're 88 years of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.
Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services.
Walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited.
Non-married couples in Idaho who engage in sexual intercourse can be jailed for up to six months
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
You may not fish on a camel's back.


Illinois
"Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
It is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire; It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Spitting is forbidden
Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Crete: It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog; Cars may not be driven through the town.
Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
Fairfield: It is unlawful for "Negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn't have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting.
In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer's face.
In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.
In Oblong, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
In Zion, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
It's not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun
Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb; It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck; It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
The English language is not to be spoken.
Take some elocution lessons if you're going to Joliet, Ill., where it's against the law to mispronounce the city's name. Offenders can be fined up to $500.
The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot "throw, drop or place" a used hankie "upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway."
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.


Indiana
"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
Drinks on the house are illegal.
Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
Fort Wayne: You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It's In the Book".
Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
In Indiana it is illegal to sell laughing gas with the intent to induce laughter.
In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Oral sex is illegal.
Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
Taxpayers of Bainbridge, Ind., used to have to swear a solemn oath that the values they placed on their taxable property were the fair market values.
Terre Haute: No one may spit on the sidewalk.
The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415
You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table; the waiter or waitress has to do it.
You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.


Iowa
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can't legally consume a drink there after closing for business.
Don't plan on running a "tab" in Iowa; it's illegal.
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes.
In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft.
It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa.
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Ottumwa: Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
Riverboat gamblers in Iowa have a $5 maximum bet.
The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.


Kansas
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
In Kansas City, KS, saying the name "George Washington" without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
In Topeka, Kansas, servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups.
In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
It is illegal to hunt whales.
It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat.
Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
Russell: Musical car horns are banned
Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle and fire three shot gun rounds into the air. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.


Kentucky
A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky.
An ordinance in Murray, Ky., says the superintendent of sanitation "shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large." Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid.
A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club". The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds,
Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140
Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
Each year, the mayor of Danville, Ky., must appoint "three intelligent housekeepers" to the Board of Tax Supervisors.
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
In Danville, Ky., it's illegal to throw slops or soapsuds in the street.
In Kentucky, according to an old law, it's illegal to use any kind of reptile in a religious service. It's not certain if the law would withstand First Amendment scrutiny today.
In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
Lexington: It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)
No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)
Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission. One may not receive anal sex. All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)


Louisiana
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
Communism has been against the law in Haines City, La., since 1950.
If you've ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, you'll see the kings and queens on the various floats throwing plastic money, medallions and jewels to the crowd, but not food. It's against the law to throw food from a float in the Mardi Gras festivities.
It is against state law to steal even a single crawfish.
It is illegal to gargle in public places.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
It is illegal in Lafayette, Louisiana to play a musical instrument for the purpose of attracting attention, without a license.
It's legal to walk down the street with a drink in New Orleans, even to drive with a drink. But if you fall over and block the sidewalk, you've just broken the law.
Louisiana law prohibits couples who are shopping for a new bed from putting it to the "ultimate test"-- in other words, from trying it out by making love on it, or even simulating this activity.
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
New Orleans: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.


Maine
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
It's illegal to clean salmon along Maine's upper Kennebec River. Enforcement of this law has been made easier for many years by the fact that, because of a dam, there are no salmon on the upper Kennebec River.
In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing.
In Maine it's illegal to catch lobsters with your bare hands.
In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster in Portland.
Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.


Maryland
Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. You may not curse inside the city limits.
Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6 It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
Baltimore has regulations governing the disposal of hog's heads, pet droppings and oyster shells.
Columbia: You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
Gypsies should steer clear of Caroline County, Md., where it's a $100 fine or six months in the can for "forecasting or pretending to foretell the future."
In Baltimore it's illegal to block the sidewalk with a box. But the offense only carries a $1 fine. Another law makes it illegal to throw bale of hay (or of anything else) out a second-story window. That gets you a $20 fine. In Baltimore it's illegal to play professional croquet before 2 p.m. Sunday. The law also applies to professional quoits.
In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
In Halethrope, Maryland kisses longer than one second are illegal.
In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.
In Maryland, men may not buy drinks for female bartenders.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
In Maryland, the legislature once proposed a board of parachute examiners to be made up of five licensed parachute instructors who would test and license all other parachute instructors. The plan had been abandoned when it was learned there were only three licensed parachute instructors in the state.
In the entire state of Maryland, it is illegal to give or recieve oral sex.
It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
Maryland now requires that alcohol beverage writers be certified as experts by an agency of the state before they can receive product samples, which it limits to three bottles per brand.
Ocean City: A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited
Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis.
You may not curse inside the city limits.


Massachusetts
A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it's illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers.
In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
In Boston it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee.
In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year.
In Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.
In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.
Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Public boxing matches are outlawed.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
You may not curse inside the city limits.
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.


Michigan
A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.
It's illegal in Michigan for a person under the age of 21 to give a gift of alcohol beverage to anyone, even to a person of legal age.
Permitting diners to take home an unfinished bottle of alcohol beverage, rather than consuming it all before leaving to prevent "waste," encourages moderation and discourages intoxication. However, this is prohibited in Michigan.
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
The use of the names of dead presidents to sell alcohol in Michigan is prohibited.
Under an 1889 law, the health officer of East Jordan, Mich., could send any nonresident with an infectious disease back to where he came from, as long as the person could travel. If not, the officer could rent a house for use as a pest house.
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.


Minnesota
A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.
A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death.
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
All bathtubs must have feet.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Every man in Brainerd, Minnesota is required by law to grow a beard.
Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
In Duluth, Minnesota it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery.
In Minnesota, it's illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren't enough of a deterrent.)
It is illegal to sleep naked.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
It used to be legal in Minnesota to sell rolled candy on Sunday, and illegal to sell flat candy. The wafer people have gotten this one repealed.
Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
Minnesota has repealed its so-called "Twinkie" law, under which a Minneapolis City Council candidate was indicted for dispensing $34 worth of Twinkies, Ho-Hos, cookies, Kool-Aid and coffee to some senior citizens.
Minnesotans are forbade from teasing skunks.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Oral sex is prohibited.
Public intoxication is a crime in Pennsylvania but specifically not a crime in Minnesota.
Rochester: All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Smoking while in bed is illegal.
St. Cloud: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
Wayland: Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.


Mississippi
Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path.
In Temperance, MS, you can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.
In Oxford, Miss., it's illegal to "create unnecessary noises."
It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
Oxford: It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session. One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square. Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited. Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.


Missouri
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri... but not toy cap guns.
Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
Four women may not rent an apartment together.
Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
In Ballwin, Mo., the only place you can use vulgar, obscene or indecent language is in your home.
In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
In Springfield, door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles.
In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses.
It is illegal to have oral sex.
It is not illegal to speed.
It's illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket.
Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
St. Louis: It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty.
University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together.


Montana
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
In Billings, Montana it is illegal for employees of the city's communications center to program their phones with speed dial.
Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
Excelsior Springs: Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
Helena: No item may be thrown across a street.
Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
Salisbury: Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
Montana just legalized the production of caviar.


Nebraska
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
Barbers are forbidden by law from shaving a man's chest in Omaha, Nebraska.
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing.
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room.
Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
Omaha: Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.


Nevada
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
In Eureka, Nevada men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
In Las Vegas you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
In Nevada until the 1960s it was illegal to sell liquor at religious camp meetings, within a half-mile of the state prison, in the State Capitol Building or to imbeciles.
In Reno, Nevada staging a marathon dance is illegal, although posting a notice on a fire hydrant about illegal dance marathons is not.
In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, "Wife Beater" fastened to his chest.
It's illegal in Nevada to have a "house of ill fame" within 400 yards of a church or school.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement.
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
Saloonkeepers had to post the names of habitual drunkards if so requested by the local sheriff or members of the imbibers' immediate families.


New Hampshire
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts.
It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
You may not run machinery on Sundays.


New Jersey
Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m.
In New Jersey it is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
In New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp soup.
It's illegal in New Jersey for parents to give their children under the age of 18 even a sip of alcohol.
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
Ocean City: People may not slurp their soup. Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday. Raw hamburger may not be sold.
On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
Raritan: Profanity is prohibited.
Raw hamburger may not be sold.
Sea Isle City: There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.
Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark, New Jersey.
You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.
You may not slurp your soup.


New Mexico
A city council member in Albuquerque, N.M., introduced a resolution a few years ago to ban Santa Claus from the city. The matter was defeated.
Carrizozo: It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
In Albuquerque, New Mexico it is illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.
In Carlsbad it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
In recent years, several efforts have been made to legalize camel racing and ostrich racing in New Mexico, but to no avail. Those bills were defeated, but the legislature recently allowed gambling on bicycle races.
It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

Best Job application ever.

from HERE


Douglas Adams: Young Zaphod Plays It Safe

A large flying craft moved swiftly across the surface of an
astoundingly beautiful sea. From mid-morning onwards it plied back and
forth in great widening arcs, and at last attracted the attention of the
local islanders, a peaceful, sea-food loving people who gathered on the
beach and squinted up into the blinding sun, trying to see what was
there.
   Any sophisticated knowledgeable person, who had knocked about, seen a
few things, would probably have remarked on how much the craft looked
like a filing cabinet - a large and recently burgled filing cabinet
lying on its back with its drawers in the air and flying.
   The islanders, whose experience was of a different kind, were instead
struck by how little it looked like a lobster.
   They chattered excitedly about its total lack of claws, its stiff
unbendy back, and the fact that it seemed to experience the greatest
difficulty staying on the ground. This last feature seemed particularly
funny to them. They jumped up and down on the spot a lot to demonstrate
to the stupid thing that they themselves found staying on the ground the
easiest thing in the world.
   But soon this entertainment began to pall for them. After all, since
it was perfectly clear to them that the thing was not a lobster, and
since their world was blessed with an abundance of things that were
lobsters (a good half a dozen of which were now marching succulently up
the beach towards them) they saw no reason to waste any more time on the
thing but decided instead to adjourn immediately for a late lobster
lunch.
   At that exact moment the craft stopped suddenly in mid-air then
upended itself and plunged headlong into the ocean with a great crash of
spray which sent them shouting into the trees.
   When they re-emerged, nervously, a few minutes later, all they were
able to see was a smoothly scarred circle of water and a few gulping
bubbles.
   That's odd, they said to each other between mouthfuls of the best
lobster to be had anywhere in the Western Galaxy, that's the second time
that's happened in a year.

   The craft which wasn't a lobster dived direct to a depth of two
hundred feet, and hung there in the heavy blueness, while vast masses of
water swayed about it. High above, where the water was magically clear,
a brilliant formation of fish flashed away. Below, where the light had
difficulty reaching the colour of the water sank to a dark and savage
blue.
   Here, at two hundred feet, the sun streamed feebly. A large, silk
skinned sea-mammal rolled idly by, inspecting the craft with a kind of
half-interest, as if it had half expected to find something of this kind
round about here, and then it slid on up and away towards the rippling
light.
   The craft waited here for a minute or two, taking readings, and then
descended another hundred feet. At this depth it was becoming seriously
dark. After a moment or two the internal lights of the craft shut down,
and in the second or so that passed before the main external beams
suddenly stabbed out, the only visible light came from a small hazily
illuminated pink sign which read The Beeblebrox Salvage and Really Wild
Stuff Corporation.
   The huge beams switched downwards, catching a vast shoal of silver
fish, which swiveled away in silent panic.
   In the dim control room which extended in a broad bow from the
craft's blunt prow, four heads were gathered round a computer display
that was analysing the very, very faint and intermittent signals that
emanating from deep on the sea bed.
   "That's it," said the owner of one of the heads finally.
   "Can we be quite sure?" said the owner of another of the heads.
   "One hundred per cent positive," replied the owner of the first head.
   "You're one hundred per cent positive that the ship which is crashed
on the bottom of this ocean is the ship which you said you were one
hundred per cent positive could one hundred per cent positively never
crash?" said the owner of the two remaining heads. "Hey," he put up two
of his hands, "I'm only asking."
   The two officials from the Safety and Civil Reassurance
Administration responded to this with a very cold stare, but the man
with the odd, or rather the even number of heads, missed it. He flung
himself back on the pilot couch, opened a couple of beers - one for
himself and the other also for himself - stuck his feet on the console
and said "Hey, baby" through the ultra-glass at a passing fish.
   "Mr. Beeblebrox...," began the shorter and less reassuring of the two
officials in a low voice.
   "Yup?" said Zaphod, rapping a suddenly empty can down on some of the
more sensitive instruments, "you ready to dive? Let's go."
   "Mr. Beeblebrox, let us make one thing perfectly clear..."
   "Yeah let's," said Zaphod, "How about this for a start. Why don't you
just tell me what's really on this ship."
   "We have told you," said the official. "By-products."
   Zaphod exchanged weary glances with himself.
   "By-products," he said. "By-products of what?"
   "Processes." said the official.
   "What processes?"
   "Processes that are perfectly safe."
   "Santa Zarquana Voostra!" exclaimed both of Zaphod's heads in chorus,
"so safe that you have to build a zarking fortress ship to take the
by-products to the nearest black hole and tip them in! Only it doesn't
get there because the pilot does a detour - is this right? - to pick up
some lobster...? OK, so the guy is cool, but... I mean own up, this is
barking time, this is major lunch, this is stool approaching critical
mass, this is... this is... total vocabulary failure!"
   "Shut up!" his right head yelled at his left, "we're flanging!"
   He got a good calming grip on the remaining beer can.
   "Listen guys," he resumed after a moment's peace and contemplation.
The two officials had said nothing. Conversation at this level was not
something to which they felt they could aspire. "I just want to know,"
insisted Zaphod, "what you're getting me into here."
   He stabbed a finger at the intermittent readings trickling over the
computer screen. They meant nothing to him but he didn't like the look
of them at all. They were all squiggly with lots of long numbers and
things.
   "It's breaking up, is that it?" he shouted. "It's got a hold full
epsilonic radiating aorist rods or something that'll fry this whole
space sector for zillions of years back and it's breaking up. Is that
the story? Is that what we're going down to find? Am I going to come out
of that wreck with even more heads?"
   "It cannot possibly be a wreck, Mr. Beeblebrox," insisted the
official, "the ship is guaranteed to be perfectly safe. It cannot
possibly break up"
   "Then why are you so keen to go and look at it?"
   "We like to look at things that are perfectly safe."
   "Freeeooow!"
   "Mr. Beeblebrox," said on official, patiently, "may I remind you that
you have a job to do?"
   "Yeah, well maybe I don't feel so keen on doing it all of a sudden.
What do you think I am, completely without any moral whatsits, what are
they called, those moral things?"
   "Scruples?"
   "Scruples, thank you, whatsoever? Well?"
   The two officials waited calmly. They coughed slightly to help pass
the time. Zaphod sighed a "what is the world coming to" sort of sigh to
absolve himself from all blame, and swung himself round in his seat.
   "Ship?" he called.
   "Yup?" said the ship.
   "Do what I do."
   The ship thought about this for a few milliseconds and then, after
double checking all the seals on its heavy duty bulkheads, it began
slowly, inexorably, in the hazy blaze of its lights, to sink to the
lowest depths.

   Five hundred feet.
   A thousand.
   Two thousand.
   Here, at a pressure or nearly seventy atmospheres, in the chilling
depths where no light reaches, nature keeps its most heated imaginings.
Two foot long nightmares loomed wildly into the bleaching light, yawned,
and vanished back into the blackness.
   Two and a half thousand feet.
   At the dim edges of the ship's lights guilty secrets flitted by with
their eyes on stalks.
   Gradually the topography of the distantly approaching ocean bed
resolved with greater and greater clarity on the computer displays until
at last a shape could be made out that was separate and distinct from
its surroundings. It was like a huge lopsided cylindrical fortress which
widened sharply halfway along its length to accommodate the heavy
ultra-plating with which the crucial storage holds were clad, and which
were supposed by its builders to have made this the most secure and
impregnable spaceship ever built. Before launch the material structure
of this section had been battered, rammed, blasted and subjected to
every assault its builders knew it could withstand in order to
demonstrate that it could withstand them.
   The tense silence in the cockpit tightened perceptibly as it became
clear that it was this section that had broken rather neatly in two.
   "In fact it's perfectly safe," said one of the officials, "it's built
so that even if the ship does break up, the storage holds cannot
possibly be breached."

   Three thousand, eight hundred and twenty five feet.
   Four Hi-Presh-A SmartSuits moved slowly out of the open hatchway of
the salvage craft and waded through the barrage of its lights towards
the monstrous shape that loomed darkly out of the sea night. They moved
with a sort of clumsy grace, near weightless though weighed on by a
world of water.
   With his right-hand head Zaphod peered up into the black immensities
above him and for a moment his mind sang with a silent roar of horror.
He glanced to his left and was relieved to see that his other head was
busy watching the Brockian Ultra-Cricket broadcasts on the helmet vid
without concern. Slightly behind him to his left walked the two
officials from the Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration, slightly
in front of him to his right walked the empty suit, carrying their
implements and testing the way for them.
   They passed the huge rift in the broken backed Starship Billion Year
Bunker, and played their flashlights up into it. Mangled machinery
loomed between torn and twisted bulkheads, two feet thick. A family of
large transparent eels lived in there now and seemed to like it.
   The empty suit preceded them along the length of the ship's gigantic
murky hull, trying the airlocks. The third one it tested ground open
uneasily. They crowded inside it and waited for several long minutes
while the pump mechanisms dealt with the hideous pressure that the ocean
exerted, and slowly replaced it with an equally hideous pressure of air
and inert gases. At last the inner door slid open and they were admitted
to a dark outer holding area of the Starship Billion Year Bunker.
   Several more high security Titan-O-Hold doors had to be passed
through, each of which the officials opened with a selection of quark
keys. Soon they were so deep within the heavy security fields that the
UltraCricket broadcasts were beginning to fade, and Zaphod had to switch
to one of the rock video stations, since there was nowhere that they
were not able to reach.
   A final doorway slid open, and they emerged into a large sepulchral
space. Zaphod played his flashlight against the opposite wall and it
fell full on a wild-eyed screaming face.
   Zaphod screamed a diminished fifth himself, dropped his light and sat
heavily on the floor, or rather on a body which had been lying there
undisturbed for around six months and which reacted to being sat on by
exploding with great violence. Zaphod wondered what to do about all
this, and after a brief but hectic internal debate decided that passing
out would be the very thing.
   He came to a few minutes later and pretended not to know who he was,
where he was or how he had got there, but was not able to convince
anybody. He then pretended that his memory suddenly returned with a rush
and that the shock caused him to pass out again, but he was helped
unwillingly to his feet by the empty suit - which he was beginning to
take a serious dislike to - and forced to come to terms with his
surroundings.
   They were dimly and fitfully lit and unpleasant in a number of
respects, the most obvious of which was the colourful arrangement of
parts of the ship's late lamented Navigation Officer over the floor,
walls and ceiling, and especially over the lower half of his, Zaphod's,
suit. The effect of this was so astoundingly nasty that we shall not be
referring to again at any point in this narrative - other than to record
briefly the fact that it caused Zaphod to throw up inside his suit,
which he therefore removed and swapped, after suitable headgear
modifications, with the empty one. Unfortunately the stench of the fetid
air in the ship, followed by the sight of his own suit walking around
casually draped in rotting intestines was enough to make him throw up in
the other suit as well, which was a problem that he and the suit would
simply have to live with.
   There. All done. No more nastiness.
   At least, no more of that particular nastiness.
   The owner of the screaming face had calmed down very slightly now and
was bubbling away incoherently in a large tank of yellow liquid - an
emergency suspension tank.
   "It was crazy," he babbled, "crazy! I told him we could always try
the lobster on the way back, but he was crazy. Obsessed! Do you ever get
like that about lobster? Because I don't. Seems to me it's all rubbery
and fiddly to eat, and not that much taste, well I mean is there? I
infinitely prefer scallops, and said so. Oh Zarquon, I said so!"
   Zaphod stared at this extraordinary apparition, flailing in its tank.
The man was attached to all kinds of life-support tubes, and his voice
was bubbling out of speakers that echoed insanely round the ship,
returning as haunting echoes from deep and distant corridors.
   "That was where I went wrong" the madman yelled, "I actually said
that I preferred scallops and he said it was because I hadn't had real
lobster like they did where his ancestors came from, which was here, and
he'd prove it. He said it was no problem, he said the lobster here was
worth a whole journey, let alone the small diversion it would take to
get here, and he swore he could handle the ship in the atmosphere, but
it was madness, madness!" he screamed, and paused with his eyes rolling,
as if the word had rung some kind of bell in his mind, "The ship went
right out of control! I couldn't believe what we were doing and just to
prove a point about lobster which is really so overrated as a food, I'm
sorry to go on about lobsters so much, I'll try and stop in a minute,
but they've been on my mind so much for the months I've been in this
tank, can you imagine what it's like to be stuck in a ship with the same
guys for months eating junk food when all one guy will talk about is
lobster and then spend six months floating by yourself in a tank
thinking about it. I promise I will try and shut up about the lobsters,
I really will. Lobsters, lobsters, lobsters - enough! I think I'm the
only survivor. I'm the only one who managed to get to an emergency tank
before we went down. I sent out the Mayday and then we hit. It's a
disaster isn't it? A total disaster, and all because the guy liked
lobsters. How much sense am I making? It's really hard for me to tell."
He gazed at them beseechingly, and his mind seemed to sway slowly back
down to earth like a falling leaf . He blinked and looked at them oddly
like a monkey peering at a strange fish. He scrabbled curiously with his
wrinkled up fingers at the glass side of the tank. Tiny, thick yellow
bubbles loosed themselves from his mouth and nose, caught briefly in his
swab of hair and strayed on upwards.
   "Oh Zarquon, oh heavens," he mumbled pathetically to himself, "I've
been found. I've been rescued..."
   "Well," said one of the officials, briskly, "you've been found at
least." He strode over to the main computer bank in the middle of the
chamber and started checking quickly through the ship's main monitor
circuits for damage reports.
   "The aorist rod chambers are intact," he said.
   "Holy dingo's dos," snarled Zaphod, "there are aorist rods on
board...!"
   Aorist rods were devices used in a now happily abandoned form of
energy production. When the hunt for new sources of energy had at one
point got particularly frantic, one bright young chap suddenly spotted
that one place which had never used up all its available energy was -
the past. And with the sudden rush of blood to the head that such
insights tend to induce, he invented a way of mining it that very same
night, and within a year huge tracts of the past were being drained of
all their energy and simply wasting away. Those who claimed that the
past should be left unspoilt were accused of indulging in an extremely
expensive form of sentimentality. The past provided a very cheap,
plentiful and clean source of energy, there could always be a few
Natural Past Reserves set up if anyone wanted to pay for their upkeep,
and as for the claim that draining the past impoverished the present,
well, maybe it did, slightly, but the effects were immeasurable and you
really had to keep a sense of proportion.
   It was only when it was realised that the present really was being
impoverished, and that the reason for it was that those selfish
plundering wastrel bastards up in the future were doing exactly the same
thing, that everyone realised that every single aorist rod, and the
terrible secret of how they were made would have to be utterly and
forever destroyed. They claimed it was for the sake of their
grandparents and grandchildren, but it was of course for the sake of
their grandparent's grandchildren, and their grandchildren's
grandparents.
   The official from the Safety and Civil Reassurance Administration
gave a dismissive shrug.
   "They're perfectly safe," he said. He glanced up at Zaphod and
suddenly said with uncharacteristic frankness, "there's worse than that
on board. At least," he added, tapping at one of the computer screens,
"I hope it's on board."
   The other official rounded on him sharply.
   "What the hell do you think you're saying?" he snapped.
   The first shrugged again. He said "It doesn't matter. He can say what
he likes. No one would believe him. It's why we chose to use him rather
than do anything official isn't it? The more wild the story he tells,
the more it'll sound like he's some hippy adventurer making it up. He
can even say that we said this and it'll make him sound like a
paranoid." He smiled pleasantly at Zaphod who was seething in a suit
full of sick. "You may accompany us," he told him, "if you wish."

   "You see?" said the official, examining the ultra-titanium outer
seals of the aorist rod hold. "Perfectly secure, perfectly safe."
   He said the same thing as they passed holds containing chemical
weapons so powerful that a teaspoonful could fatally infect an entire
planet.
   He said the same thing as they passed holds containing zeta-active
compounds so powerful that a teaspoonful could blow up a whole planet.
   He said the same thing as they passed holds containing theta-active
compounds so powerful that a teaspoonful could irradiate a whole planet.
   "I'm glad I'm not a planet," muttered Zaphod.
   "You'd have nothing to fear," assured the official from the Safety
and Civil Reassurance Administration, "planets are very safe. Provided,"
he added - and paused. They were approaching the hold nearest to the
point where the back of the Starship Billion Year Bunker was broken. The
corridor here was twisted and deformed, and the floor was damp and
sticky in patches.
   "Ho hum," he said, "ho very much hum."
   "What's in this hold?" demanded Zaphod.
   "By-products" said the official, clamming up again.
   "By-products..." insisted Zaphod, quietly, "of what?"
   Neither official answered. Instead, they examined the hold door very
carefully and saw that its seals were twisted apart by the forces that
had deformed the whole corridor. One of them touched the door lightly.
It swung open to his touch. There was darkness inside, with just a
couple of dim yellow lights deep within it.
   "Of what?" hissed Zaphod.
   The leading official turned to the other.
   "There's an escape capsule," he said, "that the crew were to use to
abandon ship before jettisoning it into the black hole," he said. "I
think it would be good to know that it's still there." The other
official nodded and left without a word.
   The first official quietly beckoned Zaphod in. The large dim yellow
lights glowed about twenty feet from them.
   "The reason," he said, quietly "why everything else in this ship is,
I maintain, safe, is that no one is really crazy enough to use them. No
one. At least no one that crazy would ever get near them. Anyone that
mad or dangerous ring very deep alarm bells. People may be stupid but
they're not that stupid."
   "By-products," hissed Zaphod again, - he had to hiss in order that
his voice shouldn't be heard to tremble - "of what."
   "Er, Designer People."
   "What?"
   "The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation were awarded a huge research
grant to design and produce synthetic personalities to order. The
results were uniformly disastrous. All the "people" and "personalities"
turned out to be amalgams of characteristics which simply could not
co-exist in naturally occurring life forms. Most of them were just poor
pathetic misfits, but some were deeply, deeply dangerous. Dangerous
because they didn't ring alarm bells in other people. They could walk
through situations the way that ghosts walk through walls, because no
one spotted the danger.
   "The most dangerous of all were three identical ones - they were put
in this hold, to be blasted, with this ship, right out of this universe.
They are not evil, in fact they are rather simple and charming. But they
are the most dangerous creatures that ever lived because there is
nothing they will not do if allowed, and nothing they will not be
allowed to do..."
   Zaphod looked at the dim yellow lights, the two dim yellow lights. As
his eyes became accustomed to the light he saw that the two lights
framed a third space where something was broken. Wet sticky patches
gleamed dully on the floor. Zaphod and the official walked cautiously
towards the lights. At that moment, four words came crashing into the
helmet headsets from the other official.
   "The capsule has gone," he said tersely.
   "Trace it" snapped Zaphod's companion. "Find exactly where it has
gone. We must know where it has gone!"
   Zaphod slid aside a large ground glass door. Beyond it lay a tank
full of thick yellow liquid, and floating in it was a man, a kindly
looking man with lots of pleasant laugh lines round his face. He seemed
to be floating quite contentedly and smiling to himself.
   Another terse message suddenly came through his helmet headset. The
planet towards which the escape capsule had headed had already been
identified. It was in Galactic Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.
   The kindly looking man in the tank seemed to be babbling gently to
himself, just as the co-pilot had been in his tank. Little yellow
bubbles beaded on the man's lips. Zaphod found a small speaker by the
tank and turned it on. He heard the man babbling gently about a shining
city on a hill.
   He also heard the Official from the Safety and Civil Reassurance
Administration issue instructions that the planet in ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
must be made "perfectly safe."

Seven inch fish eats 34 inch fish

from HERE

Local Cayman Island fisherman, McPherson ‘Dorson’ Wright recently landed a fish that may be heading into the world record books.



The Snake Mackerel show coiled in the partially opened stomach of the Great Swallower. Photo: Phillippe Bush, Department of the Environment

Mr. Wright said that normally one expects ‘big fish to eat down the small fish”, but the hungry little fish broke that rule in a big way.

While fishing in about 1,400 feet of water off the South Coast of Grand Cayman, Mr. Wright’s attention was drawn to an object that was floating on the surface nearby. He motored over to investigate and picked up a dead fish that simply amazed him. It is now also astonishing scientists both here and in the United States.

In the belly of the fish was another fish, and this one was clearly much, much bigger. In fact when it was measured it was determined that the fish he picked up had eaten a ‘snake mackerel’ that was more than four times its own length.

“When I first saw it I really couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Wright. “It had obviously just died, so I decided I had to put it in the boat and take it down to the Department of the Environment to investigate it further.”

Marine Scientist Phillippe Bush snapped some photographs and sent them up to the Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institute in the United States. A short time later, Tracey Sutton wrote back saying the fish “was appropriately called a ‘Great Swallower’ and it normally lives in deep water.”

The scientist was clearly excited by the pictures he was looking at. Mr. Sutton wrote saying “This is amazing! I have seen this fish with big prey before but yours takes the cake. It would surely rank as one of the largest, if not the largest, rations known among all fishes (relative to their own weight).”

The scientist added that it was likely “the finding would be written up in a scientific paper” and then wondered how the Great Swallower avoided being eaten by the Snake Mackerel.

Mr. Sutton also asked if the photo of the fish could be used on a poster next year.

The scientist at the Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institute also offered to pay to have Mr. Wright’s fish shipped to the United States.

The Great Swallower found off South Sound was just 7.5 inches in length. The fish it had eaten, an extremely aggressive snake mackerel, measured 34 inches, which is close to three feet in length.

Local Marine Scientist Phillippe Bush was in awe of the smaller fish’s appetite.

“I would hate to see what a three–foot–long Great Swallower is capable of eating.”

Glenn Greenwald's partner detained at Heathrow airport for nine hours



The partner of the Guardian journalist who has written a series of stories revealing mass surveillance programmes by the US National SecurityAgency was held for almost nine hours on Sunday by UK authorities as he passed through London's Heathrow airport on his way home to Rio de Janeiro.

David Miranda, who lives with Glenn Greenwald, was returning from a trip to Berlin when he was stopped by officers at 8.05am and informed that he was to be questioned under schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act 2000. The controversial law, which applies only at airports, ports and border areas, allows officers to stop, search, question and detain individuals.

The 28-year-old was held for nine hours, the maximum the law allows before officers must release or formally arrest the individual. Accordingto official figures, most examinations under schedule 7 – over 97% – last less than an hour, and only one in 2,000 people detained are kept for more than six hours.

Miranda was released, but officials confiscated electronics equipment including his mobile phone, laptop, camera, memory sticks, DVDs and games consoles.

Since 5 June, Greenwald has written a series of stories revealing theNSA's electronic surveillance programmes, detailed in thousands of files passed to him by whistleblower Edward Snowden. The Guardian has also published a number of stories about blanket electronic surveillance by Britain's GCHQ, also based on documents from Snowden.

While in Berlin, Miranda had visited Laura Poitras, the US film-maker who has also been working on the Snowden files with Greenwald and the Guardian. The Guardian paid for Miranda's flights.

"This is a profound attack on press freedoms and the news gathering process," Greenwald said. "To detain my partner for a full nine hours while denying him a lawyer, and then seize large amounts of his possessions, is clearly intended to send a message of intimidation to those of us who have been reporting on the NSA and GCHQ. The actions of the UK pose a serious threat to journalists everywhere.

"But the last thing it will do is intimidate or deter us in any way from doing our job as journalists. Quite the contrary: it will only embolden us more to continue to report aggressively."

A spokesperson for the Guardian said: "We were dismayed that the partner of a Guardian journalist who has been writing about the security services was detained for nearly nine hours while passing through Heathrow airport. We are urgently seeking clarification from the British authorities."

A spokesperson for Scotland Yard said: "At 08:05 on Sunday, 18 August a 28-year-old man was detained at Heathrow airport under schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act 2000. He was not arrested. He was subsequently released at 17:00."

Scotland Yard refused to be drawn on why Miranda was stopped using powers that enable police officers to stop and question travellers at UK ports and airports.

There was no comment from the Home Office in relation to the detention. However, there was surprise in political circles and elsewhere. Labour MP Tom Watson said he was shocked at the news and called for it to be made clear if any ministers were involved in authorising the detention.

He said: "It's almost impossible, even without full knowledge of the case, to conclude that Glenn Greenwald's partner was a terrorist suspect.

"I think that we need to know if any ministers knew about this decision, and exactly who authorised it."

"The clause in this act is not meant to be used as a catch-all that can be used in this way."

Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act has been widely criticised for giving police broad powers under the guise of anti-terror legislation to stop and search individuals without prior authorisation or reasonable suspicion – setting it apart from other police powers.

Those stopped have no automatic right to legal advice and it is a criminal offence to refuse to co-operate with questioning under schedule 7, which critics say is a curtailment of the right to silence.

Last month the UK government said it would reduce the maximum period of detention to six hours and promised a review of the operation on schedule 7 amid concerns it unfairly targets minority groups and gives individuals fewer legal protections than they would have if detained at a police station.

The government of Brazil issued a statement in which it expressed its "grave concern" over the detention of one of its citizens and the use of anti-terror legislation. It said: "This measure is without justification since it involves an individual against whom there are no charges that can legitimate the use of that legislation. The Brazilian government expects that incidents such as the one that happened to the Brazilian citizen today are not repeated."

Widney Brown, Amnesty International's senior director of international law and policy, said: "It is utterly improbable that David Michael Miranda, a Brazilian national transiting through London, was detained at random, given the role his partner has played in revealing the truth about the unlawful nature of NSA surveillance.

"David's detention was unlawful and inexcusable. He was detained under a law that violates any principle of fairness and his detention shows how the law can be abused for petty, vindictive reasons.

"There is simply no basis for believing that David Michael Miranda presents any threat whatsoever to the UK government. The only possible intent behind this detention was to harass him and his partner, Guardian journalist Glenn Greenwald, for his role in analysing the data released by Edward Snowden."