The only difference between a big ass and a healthy butt is about 24 inches
I want to be the leader of all of the anarchists
If I was a teen superstar and I was featured in Teen-Beat Magazine, I would be very ashamed if people put a poster of me on their wall.
If it were up to me: Heavy set, unibrowed Itallian mafia types wouldn't be allowed to wear thick gold necklaces, cause it might get caught in their chest-hair... And we should really be nice to people like that.
Iv'e often wondered about the secret life of Bruce Willis. The guy makes a lot of money and then goes around doing cameos in shitty movies. I mean, if I were a famous actor and had money out the wazoo then would I make shitty movie apperances? I don't know, perhaps the life of the famous and wealthy is too challenging to sit at home all of the time. Maybe he cameos in movies that suck just so people won't forget him. Uh, you know, that one guy.
Doesn't it bug you when people smoke? I mean, like: Hey! That's $4.25 that you could be spending on MY bad habits!
I think that if I were a black cat I would spend all day on fence-posts and just look cute but then go "Rarrrw!" everytime someone came near me to pet me... Or maybe if I was an indoors dog and it was like 3:30 in the morning I would bark and wake everyone up and when they came to see what was the matter I would stand in front of the basement door and just growl, and then when my master came back with a baseball bat I would just wag my tail and trot away and be like: WHAT???
If I was a girl I would get a tattoo on my bikini line that said: "I want to fuck steve" cause then when every guy got to third base with me they would be like: "Hey! Who's Steve?"
You know... What's with bears? They're big, ugly, smell terrible and eat people! So why did my mother make mw sleep with them as a child?
I love women who love sex, cause then you can get them all horny and then dump them, cause who wants that?
I often wonder why the sky is blue and then I think - Oh it's because of certain wavelengths in our color spectrum are reflected out of the Earths Ionosphere and then I light up a smoke cause that's just messed up.
I love looking down into the toilet at my dump before I wipe, cause it's really cool to just see it sitting there all helpless, forlorn, and alone... and wiggly. But then I notice that it's a big tapeworm and it makes me mad because: "Hey that's MY lunch".
Copyright 2005 by pauly hart