I hate not knowing the future. Sometimes it just really drives me nuts that I can't just pull my own destiny out of thin air... As much as I try, life seems to be always the next step away. I cannot fully grasp it. Our futures hold so much for us that we don't see, It's amazing that we even get anywhere at all. We have to trust our Lord Jesus Christ to take us where we need to be. For me, the most painful things are often the daily things that get in my hair and seem to hang about nagging at me day in and day out. Then there are those times where things just come to that dramatic and climatic standstill... your eyes vision narrows to a blackened tunnel and your heartbeat comes into your ears thumpthumpthumping like a insane drum slowing.
I hate those moments.
Yet we each have them. Whether daily or just once, we have all felt that inescapable moment if only for a second of: "Oh God, what now?"
Herein lies my pain, the pain of loss and the pain of the unknown. Both are silent and both scream at us all.
Oh God, what now?
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
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