flash element td 2
as many of you know i love ''TD'' games. a TD is a Tower Defense, in this new version, place your towers in spots that you think will most likely kill all the creeps and keep them from stealing your gems. if you lose one gem no big deal, but don't lose them all or GAME OVER... when you kill a boss you can spend points on upgrades. i suggest buying one gem per boss and keep the rest of your points available to use to put the gems back in their place.
Fire and Ice
Fire and Ice
Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
I measure every grief
I measure every grief
Emily Dickinson
I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they choose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once
And only nails the eyes.
There's grief of want, and grief of cold,--
A sort they call 'despair,'
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross
Of those that stand alone
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
Emily Dickinson
I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.
I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.
I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they choose between,
They would not rather die.
I wonder if when years have piled--
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;
Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.
The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,--
Death is but one and comes but once
And only nails the eyes.
There's grief of want, and grief of cold,--
A sort they call 'despair,'
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.
And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,
To note the fashions of the cross
Of those that stand alone
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed
by: Walt Whitman
1
When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom'd,
And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night,
I mourn'd, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.
2
O powerful western fallen star!
O shades of night -- O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear'd -- O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless -- O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.
3
In the dooryard fronting an old farm-house near the white-wash'd palings,
Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle -- and from this bush in the dooryard,
With delicate-color'd blossoms and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig with its flower I break.
4
In the swamp in secluded recesses,
A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song.
Solitary the thrush,
The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements,
Sings by himself a song.
Song of the bleeding throat,
Death's outlet song of life, (for well dear brother I know,
If thou wast not granted to sing, thou would'st surely die.)
5
Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities,
Amid lanes and through old woods, where lately the violets peep'd from the ground, spotting the gray debris,
Amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes, passing the endless grass,
Passing the yellow-spear'd wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprisen,
Passing the apple-tree blows of white and pink in the orchards,
Carrying a corpse to where it shall rest in the grave,
Night and day journeys a coffin.
6
Coffin that passes through lanes and streets,
Through day and night with the great cloud darkening the land,
With the pomp of the inloop'd flags with the cities draped in black,
With the show of the States themselves as of crepe-veil'd women standing,
With processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night,
With the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and the unbared heads,
With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces,
With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn,
With all the mournful voices of the dirges pour'd around the coffin,
The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs -- where amid these you journey,
With the tolling bells' perpetual clang,
Here, coffin that slowly passes,
I give you a sprig of lilac.
7
(Nor for you, for one alone,
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring,
For fresh as the morning, thus would I chant a song for you O sane and sacred death.
All over bouquets of roses,
O death, I cover you with roses and early lilies,
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes,
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you and the coffins all of you, O death.)
8
O western orb sailing the heaven,
Now I know what you must have meant as a month since I walk'd,
As I walk'd in silence the transparent shadowy night,
As I saw you had something to tell as you bent to me night after night,
As you droop'd from the sky low down as if to my side, (while the other stars all look'd on,)
As we wander'd together the solemn night, (for something I know not what kept me from sleep,)
As the night advanced, and I saw on the rim of the west how full you were of woe,
As I stood on the rising ground in the breeze in the cool transparent night,
As I watch'd where you pass'd and was lost in the netherward black of the night,
As my soul in its trouble dissatisfied sank, as where you sad orb,
Concluded, dropt in the night, and was gone.
9
Sing on there in the swamp,
O singer bashful and tender, I hear your notes, I hear your call,
I hear, I come presently, I understand you,
But a moment I linger, for the lustrous star has detain'd me,
The star my departing comrade holds and detains me.
10
O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my soul for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be for the grave of him I love?
Sea-winds blown from the east and west,
Blown from the Eastern sea and blown from the Western sea, till there on the prairies meeting,
These and with these and the breath of my chant,
I'll perfume the grave of him I love.
11
O what shall I hang on the chamber walls?
And what shall the pictures be that I hang on the walls,
To adorn the burial-house of him I love?
Pictures of growing spring and farms and homes,
With the Fourth-month eve at sundown, and the gray smoke lucid and bright,
With floods of the yellow gold of the gorgeous, indolent, sinking sun, burning, expanding the air,
With the fresh sweet herbage under foot, and the pale green leaves of the trees prolific,
In the distance of the flowing glaze, the breast of the river, with a wind-dapple here and there,
With ranging hills on the banks, with many a line against the sky, and shadows,
And the city at hand with dwellings so dense, and stacks of chimneys,
And all the scenes of life and the workshops, and the workmen homeward returning.
12
Lo, body and soul -- this land,
My own Manhattan with spires, and the sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships,
The varied and ample land, the South and the North in the light, Ohio's shores and flashing Missouri,
And ever the far-spreading prairies cover'd with grass and corn.
Lo, the most excellent sun so calm and haughty,
The violet and purple morn with just-felt breezes,
The gentle soft-born measureless light,
The miracle spreading bathing all, the fulfill'd noon,
The coming eve delicious, the welcome night and the stars,
Over my cities shining all, enveloping man and land.
13
Sing on, sing on, you gray-brown bird,
Sing from the swamps, the recesses, pour your chant from the bushes,
Limitless out of the dusk, out of the cedars and pines.
Sing on dearest brother, warble your reedy song,
Loud human song, with voice of uttermost woe.
O liquid and free and tender!
O wild and loose to my soul -- O wondrous singer!
You only I hear -- yet the star holds me, (but will soon depart,)
Yet the lilac with mastering odor holds me.
14
Now while I sat in the day and look'd forth,
In the close of the day with its light and the fields of spring, and the farmers preparing their crops,
In the large unconscious scenery of my land with its lakes and forests,
In the heavenly aerial beauty, (after the perturb'd winds and storms,)
Under the arching heavens of the afternoon swift passing, and the voices of children and women,
The many-moving sea-tides, and I saw the ships how they sail'd,
And the summer approaching with richness, and the fields all busy with labor,
And the infinite separate houses, how they all went on, each with its meals and minutia of daily usages,
And the streets how their throbbings throbb'd, and the cities pent -- lo, then and there,
Falling upon them all and among them all, enveloping me with the rest,
Appear'd the cloud, appear'd the long black trail,
And I knew death, its thought, and the sacred knowledge of death.
Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars and the ghostly pines so still.
And the singer so shy to the rest receiv'd me,
The gray-brown bird I know received us comrades three,
And he sang the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.
From deep secluded recesses,
From the fragrant cedars and the ghostly pines so still,
Came the carol of the bird.
And the charm of the carol rapt me,
As I held as if by their hands my comrades in the night,
And the voice of my spirit tallied the song of the bird.
Come lovely and soothing death,
Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving,
In the day, in the night, to all, to each,
Sooner or later delicate death.
Prais'd be the fathomless universe,
For life and joy, and for objects and knowledge curious,
And for love, sweet love -- but praise! praise! praise!
For the sure-enwinding arms of cool-enfolding death.
Dark mother always gliding near with soft feet,
Have none chanted for thee a chant of fullest welcome?
Then I chant it for thee, I glorify thee above all,
I bring thee a song that when thou must indeed come, come unfalteringly.
Approach strong deliveress,
When it is so, when you have taken them I joyously sing the dead,
Lost in the loving floating ocean of thee,
Laved in the flood of thy bliss, O death.
From me to thee glad serenades,
Dances for thee I propose saluting thee, adornments and feastings for thee,
And the sights of the open landscape and the high-spread sky are fitting,
And life and the fields, and the huge and thoughtful night.
The night in silence under many a star,
The ocean shore and the husky whispering wave whose voice I know,
And the soul turning to thee O vast and well-veil'd death,
And the body gratefully nestling close to thee.
Over the treetops I float thee a song,
Over the rising and sinking waves, over the myriad fields and the prairies wide,
Over the dense-packed cities and all the teeming wharves and ways,
I float this carol with joy, with joy to thee O death.
15
To the tally of my soul,
Loud and strong kept up the gray-brown bird,
With pure deliberate notes spreading filling the night.
Loud in the pines and cedars dim,
Clear in the freshness moist and the swamp-perfume,
And I with my comrades there in the night.
While my sight that was bound in my eyes unclosed,
As to long panoramas of visions.
And I saw askant the armies,
I saw as in noiseless dreams hundreds of battle-flags,
Borne through the smoke of the battles and pierced with missiles I saw them,
And carried hither and yon through the smoke and torn and bloody,
And at last but a few shreds left on the staffs, (all in silence,)
And the staffs all splinter'd and broken.
I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,
And the white skeletons of young men, I saw them,
I saw the debris and debris of all the dead soldiers of the war,
But I saw they were not as was thought,
They themselves were fully at rest, they suffer'd not,
The living remain'd and suffer'd, the mother suffer'd,
And the wife and the child and the musing comrade suffer'd,
And the armies that remain'd suffer'd.
16
Passing the visions, passing the night,
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades' hands,
Passing the song of the hermit bird and the tallying song of my soul,
Victorious song, death's outlet song, yet varying ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,
Passing, I leave thee lilac with heart-shaped leaves,
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring.
I cease from my song for thee,
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous with silver face in the night.
Yet each to keep and all, retrievements out of the night,
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous'd in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star with the countenance full of woe,
With the holders holding my hand nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep for the dead I loved so well,
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands -- and this for his dear sake,
Lilac and star and bird twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines and the cedars dusk and dim.
by: Walt Whitman
1
When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom'd,
And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night,
I mourn'd, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.
2
O powerful western fallen star!
O shades of night -- O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear'd -- O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless -- O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.
3
In the dooryard fronting an old farm-house near the white-wash'd palings,
Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle -- and from this bush in the dooryard,
With delicate-color'd blossoms and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig with its flower I break.
4
In the swamp in secluded recesses,
A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song.
Solitary the thrush,
The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements,
Sings by himself a song.
Song of the bleeding throat,
Death's outlet song of life, (for well dear brother I know,
If thou wast not granted to sing, thou would'st surely die.)
5
Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities,
Amid lanes and through old woods, where lately the violets peep'd from the ground, spotting the gray debris,
Amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes, passing the endless grass,
Passing the yellow-spear'd wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprisen,
Passing the apple-tree blows of white and pink in the orchards,
Carrying a corpse to where it shall rest in the grave,
Night and day journeys a coffin.
6
Coffin that passes through lanes and streets,
Through day and night with the great cloud darkening the land,
With the pomp of the inloop'd flags with the cities draped in black,
With the show of the States themselves as of crepe-veil'd women standing,
With processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night,
With the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and the unbared heads,
With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces,
With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn,
With all the mournful voices of the dirges pour'd around the coffin,
The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs -- where amid these you journey,
With the tolling bells' perpetual clang,
Here, coffin that slowly passes,
I give you a sprig of lilac.
7
(Nor for you, for one alone,
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring,
For fresh as the morning, thus would I chant a song for you O sane and sacred death.
All over bouquets of roses,
O death, I cover you with roses and early lilies,
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes,
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you and the coffins all of you, O death.)
8
O western orb sailing the heaven,
Now I know what you must have meant as a month since I walk'd,
As I walk'd in silence the transparent shadowy night,
As I saw you had something to tell as you bent to me night after night,
As you droop'd from the sky low down as if to my side, (while the other stars all look'd on,)
As we wander'd together the solemn night, (for something I know not what kept me from sleep,)
As the night advanced, and I saw on the rim of the west how full you were of woe,
As I stood on the rising ground in the breeze in the cool transparent night,
As I watch'd where you pass'd and was lost in the netherward black of the night,
As my soul in its trouble dissatisfied sank, as where you sad orb,
Concluded, dropt in the night, and was gone.
9
Sing on there in the swamp,
O singer bashful and tender, I hear your notes, I hear your call,
I hear, I come presently, I understand you,
But a moment I linger, for the lustrous star has detain'd me,
The star my departing comrade holds and detains me.
10
O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my soul for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be for the grave of him I love?
Sea-winds blown from the east and west,
Blown from the Eastern sea and blown from the Western sea, till there on the prairies meeting,
These and with these and the breath of my chant,
I'll perfume the grave of him I love.
11
O what shall I hang on the chamber walls?
And what shall the pictures be that I hang on the walls,
To adorn the burial-house of him I love?
Pictures of growing spring and farms and homes,
With the Fourth-month eve at sundown, and the gray smoke lucid and bright,
With floods of the yellow gold of the gorgeous, indolent, sinking sun, burning, expanding the air,
With the fresh sweet herbage under foot, and the pale green leaves of the trees prolific,
In the distance of the flowing glaze, the breast of the river, with a wind-dapple here and there,
With ranging hills on the banks, with many a line against the sky, and shadows,
And the city at hand with dwellings so dense, and stacks of chimneys,
And all the scenes of life and the workshops, and the workmen homeward returning.
12
Lo, body and soul -- this land,
My own Manhattan with spires, and the sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships,
The varied and ample land, the South and the North in the light, Ohio's shores and flashing Missouri,
And ever the far-spreading prairies cover'd with grass and corn.
Lo, the most excellent sun so calm and haughty,
The violet and purple morn with just-felt breezes,
The gentle soft-born measureless light,
The miracle spreading bathing all, the fulfill'd noon,
The coming eve delicious, the welcome night and the stars,
Over my cities shining all, enveloping man and land.
13
Sing on, sing on, you gray-brown bird,
Sing from the swamps, the recesses, pour your chant from the bushes,
Limitless out of the dusk, out of the cedars and pines.
Sing on dearest brother, warble your reedy song,
Loud human song, with voice of uttermost woe.
O liquid and free and tender!
O wild and loose to my soul -- O wondrous singer!
You only I hear -- yet the star holds me, (but will soon depart,)
Yet the lilac with mastering odor holds me.
14
Now while I sat in the day and look'd forth,
In the close of the day with its light and the fields of spring, and the farmers preparing their crops,
In the large unconscious scenery of my land with its lakes and forests,
In the heavenly aerial beauty, (after the perturb'd winds and storms,)
Under the arching heavens of the afternoon swift passing, and the voices of children and women,
The many-moving sea-tides, and I saw the ships how they sail'd,
And the summer approaching with richness, and the fields all busy with labor,
And the infinite separate houses, how they all went on, each with its meals and minutia of daily usages,
And the streets how their throbbings throbb'd, and the cities pent -- lo, then and there,
Falling upon them all and among them all, enveloping me with the rest,
Appear'd the cloud, appear'd the long black trail,
And I knew death, its thought, and the sacred knowledge of death.
Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars and the ghostly pines so still.
And the singer so shy to the rest receiv'd me,
The gray-brown bird I know received us comrades three,
And he sang the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.
From deep secluded recesses,
From the fragrant cedars and the ghostly pines so still,
Came the carol of the bird.
And the charm of the carol rapt me,
As I held as if by their hands my comrades in the night,
And the voice of my spirit tallied the song of the bird.
Come lovely and soothing death,
Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving,
In the day, in the night, to all, to each,
Sooner or later delicate death.
Prais'd be the fathomless universe,
For life and joy, and for objects and knowledge curious,
And for love, sweet love -- but praise! praise! praise!
For the sure-enwinding arms of cool-enfolding death.
Dark mother always gliding near with soft feet,
Have none chanted for thee a chant of fullest welcome?
Then I chant it for thee, I glorify thee above all,
I bring thee a song that when thou must indeed come, come unfalteringly.
Approach strong deliveress,
When it is so, when you have taken them I joyously sing the dead,
Lost in the loving floating ocean of thee,
Laved in the flood of thy bliss, O death.
From me to thee glad serenades,
Dances for thee I propose saluting thee, adornments and feastings for thee,
And the sights of the open landscape and the high-spread sky are fitting,
And life and the fields, and the huge and thoughtful night.
The night in silence under many a star,
The ocean shore and the husky whispering wave whose voice I know,
And the soul turning to thee O vast and well-veil'd death,
And the body gratefully nestling close to thee.
Over the treetops I float thee a song,
Over the rising and sinking waves, over the myriad fields and the prairies wide,
Over the dense-packed cities and all the teeming wharves and ways,
I float this carol with joy, with joy to thee O death.
15
To the tally of my soul,
Loud and strong kept up the gray-brown bird,
With pure deliberate notes spreading filling the night.
Loud in the pines and cedars dim,
Clear in the freshness moist and the swamp-perfume,
And I with my comrades there in the night.
While my sight that was bound in my eyes unclosed,
As to long panoramas of visions.
And I saw askant the armies,
I saw as in noiseless dreams hundreds of battle-flags,
Borne through the smoke of the battles and pierced with missiles I saw them,
And carried hither and yon through the smoke and torn and bloody,
And at last but a few shreds left on the staffs, (all in silence,)
And the staffs all splinter'd and broken.
I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,
And the white skeletons of young men, I saw them,
I saw the debris and debris of all the dead soldiers of the war,
But I saw they were not as was thought,
They themselves were fully at rest, they suffer'd not,
The living remain'd and suffer'd, the mother suffer'd,
And the wife and the child and the musing comrade suffer'd,
And the armies that remain'd suffer'd.
16
Passing the visions, passing the night,
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades' hands,
Passing the song of the hermit bird and the tallying song of my soul,
Victorious song, death's outlet song, yet varying ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,
Passing, I leave thee lilac with heart-shaped leaves,
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring.
I cease from my song for thee,
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous with silver face in the night.
Yet each to keep and all, retrievements out of the night,
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous'd in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star with the countenance full of woe,
With the holders holding my hand nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep for the dead I loved so well,
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands -- and this for his dear sake,
Lilac and star and bird twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines and the cedars dusk and dim.
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed
When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloomed
by: Walt Whitman
1
When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom'd,
And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night,
I mourn'd, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.
2
O powerful western fallen star!
O shades of night -- O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear'd -- O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless -- O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.
3
In the dooryard fronting an old farm-house near the white-wash'd palings,
Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle -- and from this bush in the dooryard,
With delicate-color'd blossoms and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig with its flower I break.
4
In the swamp in secluded recesses,
A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song.
Solitary the thrush,
The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements,
Sings by himself a song.
Song of the bleeding throat,
Death's outlet song of life, (for well dear brother I know,
If thou wast not granted to sing, thou would'st surely die.)
5
Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities,
Amid lanes and through old woods, where lately the violets peep'd from the ground, spotting the gray debris,
Amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes, passing the endless grass,
Passing the yellow-spear'd wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprisen,
Passing the apple-tree blows of white and pink in the orchards,
Carrying a corpse to where it shall rest in the grave,
Night and day journeys a coffin.
6
Coffin that passes through lanes and streets,
Through day and night with the great cloud darkening the land,
With the pomp of the inloop'd flags with the cities draped in black,
With the show of the States themselves as of crepe-veil'd women standing,
With processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night,
With the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and the unbared heads,
With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces,
With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn,
With all the mournful voices of the dirges pour'd around the coffin,
The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs -- where amid these you journey,
With the tolling bells' perpetual clang,
Here, coffin that slowly passes,
I give you a sprig of lilac.
7
(Nor for you, for one alone,
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring,
For fresh as the morning, thus would I chant a song for you O sane and sacred death.
All over bouquets of roses,
O death, I cover you with roses and early lilies,
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes,
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you and the coffins all of you, O death.)
8
O western orb sailing the heaven,
Now I know what you must have meant as a month since I walk'd,
As I walk'd in silence the transparent shadowy night,
As I saw you had something to tell as you bent to me night after night,
As you droop'd from the sky low down as if to my side, (while the other stars all look'd on,)
As we wander'd together the solemn night, (for something I know not what kept me from sleep,)
As the night advanced, and I saw on the rim of the west how full you were of woe,
As I stood on the rising ground in the breeze in the cool transparent night,
As I watch'd where you pass'd and was lost in the netherward black of the night,
As my soul in its trouble dissatisfied sank, as where you sad orb,
Concluded, dropt in the night, and was gone.
9
Sing on there in the swamp,
O singer bashful and tender, I hear your notes, I hear your call,
I hear, I come presently, I understand you,
But a moment I linger, for the lustrous star has detain'd me,
The star my departing comrade holds and detains me.
10
O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my soul for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be for the grave of him I love?
Sea-winds blown from the east and west,
Blown from the Eastern sea and blown from the Western sea, till there on the prairies meeting,
These and with these and the breath of my chant,
I'll perfume the grave of him I love.
11
O what shall I hang on the chamber walls?
And what shall the pictures be that I hang on the walls,
To adorn the burial-house of him I love?
Pictures of growing spring and farms and homes,
With the Fourth-month eve at sundown, and the gray smoke lucid and bright,
With floods of the yellow gold of the gorgeous, indolent, sinking sun, burning, expanding the air,
With the fresh sweet herbage under foot, and the pale green leaves of the trees prolific,
In the distance of the flowing glaze, the breast of the river, with a wind-dapple here and there,
With ranging hills on the banks, with many a line against the sky, and shadows,
And the city at hand with dwellings so dense, and stacks of chimneys,
And all the scenes of life and the workshops, and the workmen homeward returning.
12
Lo, body and soul -- this land,
My own Manhattan with spires, and the sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships,
The varied and ample land, the South and the North in the light, Ohio's shores and flashing Missouri,
And ever the far-spreading prairies cover'd with grass and corn.
Lo, the most excellent sun so calm and haughty,
The violet and purple morn with just-felt breezes,
The gentle soft-born measureless light,
The miracle spreading bathing all, the fulfill'd noon,
The coming eve delicious, the welcome night and the stars,
Over my cities shining all, enveloping man and land.
13
Sing on, sing on, you gray-brown bird,
Sing from the swamps, the recesses, pour your chant from the bushes,
Limitless out of the dusk, out of the cedars and pines.
Sing on dearest brother, warble your reedy song,
Loud human song, with voice of uttermost woe.
O liquid and free and tender!
O wild and loose to my soul -- O wondrous singer!
You only I hear -- yet the star holds me, (but will soon depart,)
Yet the lilac with mastering odor holds me.
14
Now while I sat in the day and look'd forth,
In the close of the day with its light and the fields of spring, and the farmers preparing their crops,
In the large unconscious scenery of my land with its lakes and forests,
In the heavenly aerial beauty, (after the perturb'd winds and storms,)
Under the arching heavens of the afternoon swift passing, and the voices of children and women,
The many-moving sea-tides, and I saw the ships how they sail'd,
And the summer approaching with richness, and the fields all busy with labor,
And the infinite separate houses, how they all went on, each with its meals and minutia of daily usages,
And the streets how their throbbings throbb'd, and the cities pent -- lo, then and there,
Falling upon them all and among them all, enveloping me with the rest,
Appear'd the cloud, appear'd the long black trail,
And I knew death, its thought, and the sacred knowledge of death.
Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars and the ghostly pines so still.
And the singer so shy to the rest receiv'd me,
The gray-brown bird I know received us comrades three,
And he sang the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.
From deep secluded recesses,
From the fragrant cedars and the ghostly pines so still,
Came the carol of the bird.
And the charm of the carol rapt me,
As I held as if by their hands my comrades in the night,
And the voice of my spirit tallied the song of the bird.
Come lovely and soothing death,
Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving,
In the day, in the night, to all, to each,
Sooner or later delicate death.
Prais'd be the fathomless universe,
For life and joy, and for objects and knowledge curious,
And for love, sweet love -- but praise! praise! praise!
For the sure-enwinding arms of cool-enfolding death.
Dark mother always gliding near with soft feet,
Have none chanted for thee a chant of fullest welcome?
Then I chant it for thee, I glorify thee above all,
I bring thee a song that when thou must indeed come, come unfalteringly.
Approach strong deliveress,
When it is so, when you have taken them I joyously sing the dead,
Lost in the loving floating ocean of thee,
Laved in the flood of thy bliss, O death.
From me to thee glad serenades,
Dances for thee I propose saluting thee, adornments and feastings for thee,
And the sights of the open landscape and the high-spread sky are fitting,
And life and the fields, and the huge and thoughtful night.
The night in silence under many a star,
The ocean shore and the husky whispering wave whose voice I know,
And the soul turning to thee O vast and well-veil'd death,
And the body gratefully nestling close to thee.
Over the treetops I float thee a song,
Over the rising and sinking waves, over the myriad fields and the prairies wide,
Over the dense-packed cities and all the teeming wharves and ways,
I float this carol with joy, with joy to thee O death.
15
To the tally of my soul,
Loud and strong kept up the gray-brown bird,
With pure deliberate notes spreading filling the night.
Loud in the pines and cedars dim,
Clear in the freshness moist and the swamp-perfume,
And I with my comrades there in the night.
While my sight that was bound in my eyes unclosed,
As to long panoramas of visions.
And I saw askant the armies,
I saw as in noiseless dreams hundreds of battle-flags,
Borne through the smoke of the battles and pierced with missiles I saw them,
And carried hither and yon through the smoke and torn and bloody,
And at last but a few shreds left on the staffs, (all in silence,)
And the staffs all splinter'd and broken.
I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,
And the white skeletons of young men, I saw them,
I saw the debris and debris of all the dead soldiers of the war,
But I saw they were not as was thought,
They themselves were fully at rest, they suffer'd not,
The living remain'd and suffer'd, the mother suffer'd,
And the wife and the child and the musing comrade suffer'd,
And the armies that remain'd suffer'd.
16
Passing the visions, passing the night,
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades' hands,
Passing the song of the hermit bird and the tallying song of my soul,
Victorious song, death's outlet song, yet varying ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,
Passing, I leave thee lilac with heart-shaped leaves,
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring.
I cease from my song for thee,
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous with silver face in the night.
Yet each to keep and all, retrievements out of the night,
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous'd in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star with the countenance full of woe,
With the holders holding my hand nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep for the dead I loved so well,
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands -- and this for his dear sake,
Lilac and star and bird twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines and the cedars dusk and dim.
by: Walt Whitman
1
When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom'd,
And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night,
I mourn'd, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.
Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.
2
O powerful western fallen star!
O shades of night -- O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear'd -- O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless -- O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.
3
In the dooryard fronting an old farm-house near the white-wash'd palings,
Stands the lilac-bush tall-growing with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom rising delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle -- and from this bush in the dooryard,
With delicate-color'd blossoms and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig with its flower I break.
4
In the swamp in secluded recesses,
A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song.
Solitary the thrush,
The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements,
Sings by himself a song.
Song of the bleeding throat,
Death's outlet song of life, (for well dear brother I know,
If thou wast not granted to sing, thou would'st surely die.)
5
Over the breast of the spring, the land, amid cities,
Amid lanes and through old woods, where lately the violets peep'd from the ground, spotting the gray debris,
Amid the grass in the fields each side of the lanes, passing the endless grass,
Passing the yellow-spear'd wheat, every grain from its shroud in the dark-brown fields uprisen,
Passing the apple-tree blows of white and pink in the orchards,
Carrying a corpse to where it shall rest in the grave,
Night and day journeys a coffin.
6
Coffin that passes through lanes and streets,
Through day and night with the great cloud darkening the land,
With the pomp of the inloop'd flags with the cities draped in black,
With the show of the States themselves as of crepe-veil'd women standing,
With processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night,
With the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and the unbared heads,
With the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the sombre faces,
With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn,
With all the mournful voices of the dirges pour'd around the coffin,
The dim-lit churches and the shuddering organs -- where amid these you journey,
With the tolling bells' perpetual clang,
Here, coffin that slowly passes,
I give you a sprig of lilac.
7
(Nor for you, for one alone,
Blossoms and branches green to coffins all I bring,
For fresh as the morning, thus would I chant a song for you O sane and sacred death.
All over bouquets of roses,
O death, I cover you with roses and early lilies,
But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first,
Copious I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes,
With loaded arms I come, pouring for you,
For you and the coffins all of you, O death.)
8
O western orb sailing the heaven,
Now I know what you must have meant as a month since I walk'd,
As I walk'd in silence the transparent shadowy night,
As I saw you had something to tell as you bent to me night after night,
As you droop'd from the sky low down as if to my side, (while the other stars all look'd on,)
As we wander'd together the solemn night, (for something I know not what kept me from sleep,)
As the night advanced, and I saw on the rim of the west how full you were of woe,
As I stood on the rising ground in the breeze in the cool transparent night,
As I watch'd where you pass'd and was lost in the netherward black of the night,
As my soul in its trouble dissatisfied sank, as where you sad orb,
Concluded, dropt in the night, and was gone.
9
Sing on there in the swamp,
O singer bashful and tender, I hear your notes, I hear your call,
I hear, I come presently, I understand you,
But a moment I linger, for the lustrous star has detain'd me,
The star my departing comrade holds and detains me.
10
O how shall I warble myself for the dead one there I loved?
And how shall I deck my soul for the large sweet soul that has gone?
And what shall my perfume be for the grave of him I love?
Sea-winds blown from the east and west,
Blown from the Eastern sea and blown from the Western sea, till there on the prairies meeting,
These and with these and the breath of my chant,
I'll perfume the grave of him I love.
11
O what shall I hang on the chamber walls?
And what shall the pictures be that I hang on the walls,
To adorn the burial-house of him I love?
Pictures of growing spring and farms and homes,
With the Fourth-month eve at sundown, and the gray smoke lucid and bright,
With floods of the yellow gold of the gorgeous, indolent, sinking sun, burning, expanding the air,
With the fresh sweet herbage under foot, and the pale green leaves of the trees prolific,
In the distance of the flowing glaze, the breast of the river, with a wind-dapple here and there,
With ranging hills on the banks, with many a line against the sky, and shadows,
And the city at hand with dwellings so dense, and stacks of chimneys,
And all the scenes of life and the workshops, and the workmen homeward returning.
12
Lo, body and soul -- this land,
My own Manhattan with spires, and the sparkling and hurrying tides, and the ships,
The varied and ample land, the South and the North in the light, Ohio's shores and flashing Missouri,
And ever the far-spreading prairies cover'd with grass and corn.
Lo, the most excellent sun so calm and haughty,
The violet and purple morn with just-felt breezes,
The gentle soft-born measureless light,
The miracle spreading bathing all, the fulfill'd noon,
The coming eve delicious, the welcome night and the stars,
Over my cities shining all, enveloping man and land.
13
Sing on, sing on, you gray-brown bird,
Sing from the swamps, the recesses, pour your chant from the bushes,
Limitless out of the dusk, out of the cedars and pines.
Sing on dearest brother, warble your reedy song,
Loud human song, with voice of uttermost woe.
O liquid and free and tender!
O wild and loose to my soul -- O wondrous singer!
You only I hear -- yet the star holds me, (but will soon depart,)
Yet the lilac with mastering odor holds me.
14
Now while I sat in the day and look'd forth,
In the close of the day with its light and the fields of spring, and the farmers preparing their crops,
In the large unconscious scenery of my land with its lakes and forests,
In the heavenly aerial beauty, (after the perturb'd winds and storms,)
Under the arching heavens of the afternoon swift passing, and the voices of children and women,
The many-moving sea-tides, and I saw the ships how they sail'd,
And the summer approaching with richness, and the fields all busy with labor,
And the infinite separate houses, how they all went on, each with its meals and minutia of daily usages,
And the streets how their throbbings throbb'd, and the cities pent -- lo, then and there,
Falling upon them all and among them all, enveloping me with the rest,
Appear'd the cloud, appear'd the long black trail,
And I knew death, its thought, and the sacred knowledge of death.
Then with the knowledge of death as walking one side of me,
And the thought of death close-walking the other side of me,
And I in the middle as with companions, and as holding the hands of companions,
I fled forth to the hiding receiving night that talks not,
Down to the shores of the water, the path by the swamp in the dimness,
To the solemn shadowy cedars and the ghostly pines so still.
And the singer so shy to the rest receiv'd me,
The gray-brown bird I know received us comrades three,
And he sang the carol of death, and a verse for him I love.
From deep secluded recesses,
From the fragrant cedars and the ghostly pines so still,
Came the carol of the bird.
And the charm of the carol rapt me,
As I held as if by their hands my comrades in the night,
And the voice of my spirit tallied the song of the bird.
Come lovely and soothing death,
Undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving,
In the day, in the night, to all, to each,
Sooner or later delicate death.
Prais'd be the fathomless universe,
For life and joy, and for objects and knowledge curious,
And for love, sweet love -- but praise! praise! praise!
For the sure-enwinding arms of cool-enfolding death.
Dark mother always gliding near with soft feet,
Have none chanted for thee a chant of fullest welcome?
Then I chant it for thee, I glorify thee above all,
I bring thee a song that when thou must indeed come, come unfalteringly.
Approach strong deliveress,
When it is so, when you have taken them I joyously sing the dead,
Lost in the loving floating ocean of thee,
Laved in the flood of thy bliss, O death.
From me to thee glad serenades,
Dances for thee I propose saluting thee, adornments and feastings for thee,
And the sights of the open landscape and the high-spread sky are fitting,
And life and the fields, and the huge and thoughtful night.
The night in silence under many a star,
The ocean shore and the husky whispering wave whose voice I know,
And the soul turning to thee O vast and well-veil'd death,
And the body gratefully nestling close to thee.
Over the treetops I float thee a song,
Over the rising and sinking waves, over the myriad fields and the prairies wide,
Over the dense-packed cities and all the teeming wharves and ways,
I float this carol with joy, with joy to thee O death.
15
To the tally of my soul,
Loud and strong kept up the gray-brown bird,
With pure deliberate notes spreading filling the night.
Loud in the pines and cedars dim,
Clear in the freshness moist and the swamp-perfume,
And I with my comrades there in the night.
While my sight that was bound in my eyes unclosed,
As to long panoramas of visions.
And I saw askant the armies,
I saw as in noiseless dreams hundreds of battle-flags,
Borne through the smoke of the battles and pierced with missiles I saw them,
And carried hither and yon through the smoke and torn and bloody,
And at last but a few shreds left on the staffs, (all in silence,)
And the staffs all splinter'd and broken.
I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,
And the white skeletons of young men, I saw them,
I saw the debris and debris of all the dead soldiers of the war,
But I saw they were not as was thought,
They themselves were fully at rest, they suffer'd not,
The living remain'd and suffer'd, the mother suffer'd,
And the wife and the child and the musing comrade suffer'd,
And the armies that remain'd suffer'd.
16
Passing the visions, passing the night,
Passing, unloosing the hold of my comrades' hands,
Passing the song of the hermit bird and the tallying song of my soul,
Victorious song, death's outlet song, yet varying ever-altering song,
As low and wailing, yet clear the notes, rising and falling, flooding the night,
Sadly sinking and fainting, as warning and warning, and yet again bursting with joy,
Covering the earth and filling the spread of the heaven,
As that powerful psalm in the night I heard from recesses,
Passing, I leave thee lilac with heart-shaped leaves,
I leave thee there in the door-yard, blooming, returning with spring.
I cease from my song for thee,
From my gaze on thee in the west, fronting the west, communing with thee,
O comrade lustrous with silver face in the night.
Yet each to keep and all, retrievements out of the night,
The song, the wondrous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous'd in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star with the countenance full of woe,
With the holders holding my hand nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine and I in the midst, and their memory ever to keep for the dead I loved so well,
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands -- and this for his dear sake,
Lilac and star and bird twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines and the cedars dusk and dim.
The DEATH of the internet you know.
the future is here. the end is near. the net is going down. what are you doing about it?
nothing...
coward.
nothing...
coward.
The Return of Triangulation
The Return of Triangulation
Sun, 18 Jan 2009 23:47:10 -0600
By Norman Solomon
William Jefferson Obama?
The mosaic of Barack Obama’s cabinet picks and top White House staff gives us an overview of what the new president sees as political symmetry for his administration. While it’s too early to gauge specific policies of the Obama presidency, it’s not too soon to understand that “triangulation” is back.
In the 1990s, Bill Clinton was adept at placing himself midway between the base of his own party and Republican leaders. As he triangulated from the Oval Office — often polarizing with liberal Democrats on such issues as “free trade,” deregulation, “welfare reform” and military spending — Clinton did well for himself. But not for his party.
During Clinton’s presidency, with his repeated accommodations to corporate agendas, a progressive base became frustrated and demobilized. Democrats lost majorities in the House and Senate after just two years and didn’t get them back. Along Pennsylvania Avenue, numerous left-leaning causes fell by the wayside — victims of a Democratic president’s too-clever-by-half triangulation.
Now, looking at Obama’s choices for key posts, many progressive activists who went all-out for months to get him elected are disappointed. The foreign-policy team, dominated by strong backers of the Iraq invasion, hardly seems oriented toward implementing Obama’s 2008 campaign pledge to “end the mindset that got us into war.” On the domestic side, big-business ties and Wall Street sensibilities are most of the baseline. Overall, it’s hard to argue that the glass is half full when so much is missing.
The progressives who remain eager to project their worldviews onto Obama are at high risk for hazy credulity. Such projection is a chronic hazard of Obamania. Biographer David Mendell aptly describes Obama as “an exceptionally gifted politician who, throughout his life, has been able to make people of wildly divergent vantage points see in him exactly what they want to see.”
But in the long run, an unduly lofty pedestal sets the stage for a fall from grace. Illusions make disillusionment possible.
There’s little point in progressives’ faulting Obama because so much of their vital work remains undone at the grassroots. A longtime Chicago-based activist on the left, Carl Davidson, made the point well when he wrote after the November election that “one is not likely to win at the top what one has not consolidated and won at the base.”
By the same token, we should recognize that Obama’s campaign victories (beginning with the Iowa caucuses) were possible only because of the painstaking work by antiwar activists and other progressive advocates in prior years. To make further progress possible, in electoral arenas and in national policies, the country must be moved anew — from the bottom up.
As his administration gets underway, disappointed progressives shouldn’t blame Barack Obama for their own projection or naivete. He is a highly pragmatic leader who seeks and occupies the center of political gravity. Those who don’t like where he’s standing will need to move the center in their direction.
Obama has often said that his presidential quest isn’t about him nearly as much as it is about us — the people yearning for real change and willing to work for it. If there’s ever a time to take Obama up on his word, this is it.
Crucial issues must be reframed. The national healthcare reform debate, for instance, still lacks the clarity to distinguish between guaranteeing healthcare for all and mandating loophole-ridden insurance coverage for all. With the exception of Rep. John Conyers’ single-payer bill to provide “enhanced Medicare” for everyone in the United States, each major congressional proposal keeps the for-profit insurance industry at the core of the country’s medical-care system.
As for foreign policy, the paradigm of a “war on terror,” more than seven years on, remains nearly sacrosanct. Among its most stultifying effects is the widely held assumption that many more U.S. troops should go to Afghanistan. Rhetoric to the contrary, Obama’s policy focus appears to be fixated on finding a military solution for an Afghan conflict that cannot be resolved by military means. The escalation is set for a centrist disaster.
During his race for the White House, ironically, Obama was fond of quoting Martin Luther King Jr. about “the fierce urgency of now.” But King uttered the phrase in the same speech (on April 4, 1967) that spoke of “a society gone mad on war,” condemned “my own government” as “the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today” and declared: “Somehow this madness must cease. We must stop now.”
Barack Obama never promised progressives a rose garden. His campaign inspired tens of millions of Americans, raised the level of public discourse and ousted the right wing from the White House. And he has pledged to encourage civic engagement and respectful debate. The rest is up to us.
_____________________________
Norman Solomon, a board member of Progressive Democrats of America, was an elected Obama delegate to the Democratic National Convention. He is the author of “War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death.” Video of his recent interview on C-SPAN, including discussion of Obama and the war in Afghanistan
Sun, 18 Jan 2009 23:47:10 -0600
By Norman Solomon
William Jefferson Obama?
The mosaic of Barack Obama’s cabinet picks and top White House staff gives us an overview of what the new president sees as political symmetry for his administration. While it’s too early to gauge specific policies of the Obama presidency, it’s not too soon to understand that “triangulation” is back.
In the 1990s, Bill Clinton was adept at placing himself midway between the base of his own party and Republican leaders. As he triangulated from the Oval Office — often polarizing with liberal Democrats on such issues as “free trade,” deregulation, “welfare reform” and military spending — Clinton did well for himself. But not for his party.
During Clinton’s presidency, with his repeated accommodations to corporate agendas, a progressive base became frustrated and demobilized. Democrats lost majorities in the House and Senate after just two years and didn’t get them back. Along Pennsylvania Avenue, numerous left-leaning causes fell by the wayside — victims of a Democratic president’s too-clever-by-half triangulation.
Now, looking at Obama’s choices for key posts, many progressive activists who went all-out for months to get him elected are disappointed. The foreign-policy team, dominated by strong backers of the Iraq invasion, hardly seems oriented toward implementing Obama’s 2008 campaign pledge to “end the mindset that got us into war.” On the domestic side, big-business ties and Wall Street sensibilities are most of the baseline. Overall, it’s hard to argue that the glass is half full when so much is missing.
The progressives who remain eager to project their worldviews onto Obama are at high risk for hazy credulity. Such projection is a chronic hazard of Obamania. Biographer David Mendell aptly describes Obama as “an exceptionally gifted politician who, throughout his life, has been able to make people of wildly divergent vantage points see in him exactly what they want to see.”
But in the long run, an unduly lofty pedestal sets the stage for a fall from grace. Illusions make disillusionment possible.
There’s little point in progressives’ faulting Obama because so much of their vital work remains undone at the grassroots. A longtime Chicago-based activist on the left, Carl Davidson, made the point well when he wrote after the November election that “one is not likely to win at the top what one has not consolidated and won at the base.”
By the same token, we should recognize that Obama’s campaign victories (beginning with the Iowa caucuses) were possible only because of the painstaking work by antiwar activists and other progressive advocates in prior years. To make further progress possible, in electoral arenas and in national policies, the country must be moved anew — from the bottom up.
As his administration gets underway, disappointed progressives shouldn’t blame Barack Obama for their own projection or naivete. He is a highly pragmatic leader who seeks and occupies the center of political gravity. Those who don’t like where he’s standing will need to move the center in their direction.
Obama has often said that his presidential quest isn’t about him nearly as much as it is about us — the people yearning for real change and willing to work for it. If there’s ever a time to take Obama up on his word, this is it.
Crucial issues must be reframed. The national healthcare reform debate, for instance, still lacks the clarity to distinguish between guaranteeing healthcare for all and mandating loophole-ridden insurance coverage for all. With the exception of Rep. John Conyers’ single-payer bill to provide “enhanced Medicare” for everyone in the United States, each major congressional proposal keeps the for-profit insurance industry at the core of the country’s medical-care system.
As for foreign policy, the paradigm of a “war on terror,” more than seven years on, remains nearly sacrosanct. Among its most stultifying effects is the widely held assumption that many more U.S. troops should go to Afghanistan. Rhetoric to the contrary, Obama’s policy focus appears to be fixated on finding a military solution for an Afghan conflict that cannot be resolved by military means. The escalation is set for a centrist disaster.
During his race for the White House, ironically, Obama was fond of quoting Martin Luther King Jr. about “the fierce urgency of now.” But King uttered the phrase in the same speech (on April 4, 1967) that spoke of “a society gone mad on war,” condemned “my own government” as “the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today” and declared: “Somehow this madness must cease. We must stop now.”
Barack Obama never promised progressives a rose garden. His campaign inspired tens of millions of Americans, raised the level of public discourse and ousted the right wing from the White House. And he has pledged to encourage civic engagement and respectful debate. The rest is up to us.
_____________________________
Norman Solomon, a board member of Progressive Democrats of America, was an elected Obama delegate to the Democratic National Convention. He is the author of “War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death.” Video of his recent interview on C-SPAN, including discussion of Obama and the war in Afghanistan
a massive list of eharmony.com horror stories
From a personal friend -
Met man eHarmony, been talking a few weeks, has now asked for money. His name is "James Hendrix", lives in Los Angeles, but had to leave before we could meet to work contract on KCA Deutag Beryl B oil platform in UK south of Norway, widowed six years, has nine year old son in Norway living with his late wife's mother. Has accent but he is understandable, educated, articulate, affectionate, funny and downright charming! He went off eHarmony week after we started talking.
I know he is a scammer, no intention of giving him money. Was hurt a little when I realized, one heartless man we are dealing with here. Anyway I can help someone else let me know. He will probably be calling me tonight from a new cell phone he just started using because he lost his other cell phone, laptop, and very expensive separator lens needed for his contract work last Thursday, and so it goes on...
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Thank you so much for the information about Charles Shultheis with the e-mail address Charles_ryder1@yahoo.com. He was listed on e-Harmony as being from Orlando, then the next thing he is re-listed as being from Jensen Beach, and I see here that he was also from Tucson. I agree, e-H is way too expensive for what you get. I think they have a responsibility to let those women who have been matched with these people know why they are no longer allowed on the service. Thank you so much for keeping me from making a fatal mistake!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have read a lot on eHarmony and scams and have to agree it is a true breeding ground for the scammers. I ran into the scammer wpatrick50@yahoo.com on eHarmony. I am looking for other women that also met Patrick Welsh.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
THE WROST SITE OF ALL. The idiot who devised a multiple question site to find the love of your life is one smart cookie because you all bought into it. PULEASEEEEEE are you kidding me! If there ever was a sham this is it. This guy put up questions we learned in college for psych questions. It's a real idiot's version of dating. Match.com at least has real profiles, less control of what you say and do and real people. My son met someone on Match.com and after 3 years together they recently married. I have know many who have. E-Harmony on the other hand has one or two commercials which want you to believe they are real but again, reach deep inside and test your intuitive skills. THIS IS A SHAM. Don't spend your money on this site. I am sure we will eventually read that it was shut down due to false advertising.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I don't like how they use members for false advertising. For instance: I did their trial period. After that I got bombarded with emails that Matches wanted to communicate with me. Did these paying matches know that I was trying out for free? Is my match left open with them and I never communicate with them and they don't know what ever happened to me. Am I just a number? This is the straw that broke the camel's back. I closed my account. The next day I got 2 emails from two matches who wanted to communicate. The manager tried to tell me it was a lapse period when I called to complain. Are they doing this to entice me to rejoin? And, I found out that when you are not a member of eharmony by terminating your membership, they leave you up as just "closed". A feature that is used by all who are not interested in this match for a variety of reasons that only you can pick from a list of options that Eharmony provides. They said they are protecting me by not disclosing the truth of me no longer being a member. How does that hurt me? It hurts Eharmony. It is one less number for them. They care about us? HELL-it is a business! They care about Eharmony and their jobs. Yes, you have to watch out for scams by the matches but you have to watch out for Eharmony, too.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Half the time I cant log on to your wab site.I find it fustrating
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined E-Harmony and have met one or two really nice people so I don't totally hate the site...but I have now learned to be very careful. Ladies, beware of Green Cowser. I don't have proof he's a scammer but there were so many red flags: widower, international job, by the second or third email his spelling and grammer had totally disintegrated, signed up as from Illinois but couldn't altogether explain why he was now living in Ireland. The last was particularly funny in light of the fact he regularly told me he loved "honesty to the core" and I must always tell the truth with him... Then, the kicker, he said I was his ideal woman after only a couple emails...(on what continent does THAT really happen). I went searching on the net...didn't find his name but hmmmm...there was a Green Scott listed on a scammer's website with his same phone number in the same city...and this guy too signed off by saying "Cheers" or "regards" all the time. You'd think they'd kinda learn to vary small details like that.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I was sent a match named CHARLES RYDER from Tucson. When he began communicating, his name came up as CHARLES SHULTHEIS. He is using a stolen identity! He is actually in Nigeria and after saying all the "right" things, he will ask you for money to fly home since he can't cash his check from an American Bank. According to the man whose identity he has stolen, at least 30 women have called him to check the identity. This man is very smooth and has an answer for everything.Beware!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I just sat here and read this entire page. What is the matter with you people? Are you not living in the 21st century? Do you not have access to any form of mass communication? (Obviously you do, you're here.) Then why are you wasting your time and money on one of the biggest scams known to mankind, namely eHarmony? The first red flag is their commercials. Listen carefully. "Log on today and review your matches for free." And that's all you get to do for free. You can't see photos. You can't communicate. The second red flag is any site that asks you for a credit card number for a 'free trail.' If it's free why do they need your credit card number? C'mon people. Are ya getting it yet? The third red flag are guys that have lives that are just incredibly unbelievable. Guess what? Any man that has the kind of life that these guys claim to have wouldn't be trolling an online dating site looking for a mate. Do you have any idea how many beautiful, wealthy, intelligent women that kind of guy meets in a week? You don't have that many fingers and toes to count them on. There are online sites that don't charge a dime. Try googling '100% free no credit card inline dating' and see what happens. And the good part is at least the guys on those sites are smart enough not to waste their money on eHarmony.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
after subscribing for three months and not finding the service useful at all, i just decided to let my subscription lapse when the three months were up. I just received an email that my subscription was automatically renewed for one more month! I immediately called customer service and was told it is their policy to not refund money for automatic renewals. I asked to speak to a manager who, after I let him speak, and then I spoke. after I finished telling him my dilemma, he became immediately defensive and accused me of not letting him speak and also offered to have someone send me an email from eharmony. I asked if there would be any possibility of a refund, he said simply ,"NO." The most unfair part is that I have been charged for a service that I have not and will not use. Eharmony could cancel my subscription today and they would have nearly an entire month that they would not have to provide their service to me. I feel scammed by the vague 'policy' of automatic renewal without the possibilty of a refund when I was straightforward with them right away, before the service I have already benn duped into paying before the service can be delivered.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I posted here earlier about Patrick Olile. I never did truly find out that he was a scammer, but I had such a gut feeling that I blocked him from my email and closed the match on eharmony. I am also notifying yahoo about his account there. This has so scared me to the point that I feel I can't trust anyone on eharmony and will be canceling my account. I'm really glad I decided to google bad eharmony stories... To everyone else watch out for Patrick Olile.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am so glad I found this site. I have been duped! I feel like a bit of a fool but at least I only lost a little face and no money. I have been a subcriber off eHarmony on and off since 2003. I have met several wonderful men over the years on that site and others. In fact, my last boyfriend and I met on eHarmony. Out relationship ultimately ended but we are still great friends. Recently, while recovering from a back injury and feeling somewhat sorry for myself, I got several matches and started communicating with several potential dates. I think I have a pretty in tune intuition and am intelligent enough to know a scam when I see one. But, they are getting better and better. I "met" a man named "Peter" on eHarmony who claimed he lived in Lake City, FL. He said he was born there of Russian parents. He was widowed (his wife died in a plane crash...red flag 1)and he had a 10 year old son. He claimed to be an antiques dealer, dealing mostly in beads and African sculpture. Well, I was intrigued enough to at least talk to him online. We exchanged emails but mostly communicated via Yahoo IM. He was very sweet and I even overlooked the poor grammer (one of my pet peeves). I tried asking lots of questions but,was somehow always diverted or asked why I was questioning his motives. I googled his name and found one antiques dealer from another country who was dead. I even searched for his business. He said he owned a store in Florida. I never found it. But, I let it go on. Besides, he was very flattering and quickly said he had deep feelings for me. I was very resistant...even just ignoring him for several days. After a week or so of instant messaging, he said he's call me but, couldn't because his calling card was out of points but, he called it tariffs...which is odd phrasing for someone raised in the US but, I just ignored it. Eventually he said he and his son Tommy were going to London for an art exhibition. He was taking his son because he did not have anyone to keep him. He ws very convincing..telling me about what he was buying and the things they were doing in London. He even said he bought Tommy a PSP3 to keep him busy while he was working. (Sound familiar?) It was in London that he finally gave me a phone number. He said he wanted us to talk and get to know each other better. So, he gave me a number and I boughgt a calling card and finally called him. He had a wonderful accent but, definitely not native of Florida or Russia. I even commented that he sounded French. I told him that I had dated a Frenchman for a few years and they had the same accent (Red Flag). We talked for several hours over the course of a few days. He was very convincing. He promised me that I would never have to work if I didn't want to. He would take care of me for the rest of my life if i would good wife to him and mother to his son. I think he could sense my intrigue and possibility of having a charmed life filled with travel. So he ran with that. He promised to take me to Paris on his next buying trip. It was almost as if he'd read my journal. haha He wanted me to coe to Lake City to see his home and meet his son, meet my parents, and then get married. He even went as far as to have me talk to his "son" on the phone. He was vry sweet and convincing. I was very hesistant but, was beginning to get worn down by his promises. Well, he was supposed to leave London this Wednesday and then go back to Florida. He said he'd come see me in California as soon as he returned. He said he wanted to move quickly so no other man would take me. He even said he already had an antique ring to present to me. hahahah. So Wednesday and Thursday came and went and I did not hear from him. I sent him an email just to see if he had arrived back in Florida. Finally this morning he was on Yahoo IM. He said he tried calling me again but could not get through. He professed his love again and how much he missed me and we would soon be together (should have know better). Then he asked me if I had read his latest email. I hadn't. He said, read it first and then we'll talk after he and his son go out for a bite to eat. Well, I read it and it was a long winded story about thousands of dollars of duties and taxes he didn't account for when having his goods shipped back to the starts. He paid it and his hotel bill but, was still coming up short on money for his and his son's return flights home. C'MON! He just needed a small token....$1200 to get the ticket. He said Tommy asked him to borrow it from me and he'd pay me back when he came to California. Yeah right! So......I let it sink in, got a little sad at not meeting my prince, and mad at being duped. Well, I don't have any money to send even if I wante to. I sent him a lovely email titled: NICE TRY. Hopefully he's stewing in his own juices for wasting his time on me. hahaha I tried to emial eHarmony to let them know about this person on their service. I sent my compaint to the address they list on the site but it was bounced back to me. (figures). Thanks for this site. The red flags were there and I was just too hopeful to listen to them. I hope my story helps someone else just as the stories here have helped me.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony sucks so bad! I personally did not use it but my mother did and now my life (and my sisters) is a living freaking hell!!!!! She married her Eharmony match 2 years ago after dating for a year, they have nothing in common, he doesn't fit in with my family and is a total freak/weirdo!!!!!They started marriage counseling one year into their marriage! Please for the sake of your children do not use Eharmony! Oh and they turned down my manager because shes white and prefers to date black men! Ridiculous....E HARMONY SUCKS!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have met a Patrick Olile from LA, California who is in Africa on business. He is supposed to be Croatian. He works in the mentioned Chemical Engineering. Anybody else met him? I haven't been talking to him long and am a person who is cautious so I decided to google various things and found this site. I am now concerned he is going to turn out to a scammer....
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Look out for a guy who claims to be PATRICK HALLEWELL -- he claims to be from Seattle, Washington. He showed all the signs of fraud (thanks to this website) and sure enough after he "tried" to charm me, and then hit me up for money! What a dork!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Oh my stars! This website kept me from a lot of heartache! E-harmony matched me with two guys. One was NICK CLARK FROM NASHVILLE, TN. Like many of these posters said, he was widowed and overly romantic in tone (to a suspicious nature). How can you start talking so romantic after just one e-mail -- duh! He became very quite upset when I would not respond to his e-mails (through yahoo messenger)even after I had told him that I had met another (#2 -- another scammer!). Sure enough, "Nick" said that he was a contractor, working on roads and bridges. However, when I told him "No more, I am communicating with someone else now" he was very upset and told me that he needed a CAF. I told him I had no idea what that was and why did it involve me? "Nick" said it was a Contract Approval Form and he was now in Africa and needed $1300, but he would pay me back (yeah, right!). I immediately canceled his name from my yahoo account and made sure I was to not receive any other communication from him. Now by now, I have been conversing with a Norwegian named "Patrick" -- a "mechanical engineer for an oil company, widowed". (Gee, does this ring a bell?) He, too, was quickly and overly romantic, incredibly thick accent. I asked him when he was back on shore, where did he live and he said a hotel room. I asked, "So where is your car"? He said it was in a garage that he pays for monthly. I also asked, "Where are your belongings"? He answered, "They are all in Norway". I must admit, he was very charming. However, I asked him where his son was and he said he was with his deceased wife's father. Guess where the father lived? Africa! Surprise, surprise! But by then, I had already been given some very strong red flags and have stopped communicating with him. But thanks to this websight, I actually now know more about e-"harm"ony and some of the scammers tactics. On the flip side, I have heard some of my friends who have truly met someone very special. But this website was key to me not wasting any more time with the scammers, thanks to the "signs" to look for.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
My research in web based dating sites has taught me that basically they are ALL scams. Not only that..it would be a cold day in Hell before I would pass out my credit card # on the Internet. Save your money...they didn't get ANY of mine ! hg
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
My research in web based dating sites has taught me that basically they are ALL scams. Not only that..it would be a cold day in Hell before I would pass out my credit card # on the Internet. Save your money...they didn't get ANY of mine ! hg
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have never thought that I was involved with this scam thing... just found out now. I came up with 2 men named Michael via eH in this subscription and they sent me e-mails from Nigeria or Mexico. The first Michael was like a man who somebody here describes - romantic, furious, heavy accent, poor grammer such as cos, mum, i (instead of I). I believed that he was real until he asked me for money. The amount he asked me was far beyond what we can imagine. These people are just mentally sick and always lie to themselves. I believe that eH is fully aware of this scam situation, but no warning in their site. Well, they have a safety tip link, but this type of thing should be warned like this site (Red and Bold). They have to spend more money to protect their customers than TV commcercials. If eH don't protect their customers, it's not a real business. What kind of business they are doing? Erica
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I did not waste much time following this Henry Tetteh Scammer of Accura Ghana. I wrote to E-Harmony advising them that they are putting dirt on the face of Christianity plus reported all the documents this Tetteh guy emailed to: inform@fraudwatchers.org and to: www.romancescams.org. and it was confirmed a Scam documents. Some of these Scammers think that North American women just dropped off an apple tree yesterday and that we are not wise enough to find out. Enough already, we as North American Woman are smart and can find out stuff before these scammers can blink an eye. Beware Ladies, don’t fall for just anything - do some background checks before you get involved. And E-Harmony needs to be investigated and put back on the right track by the authority or the government. I wished that all of us who have been used for money by E-Harmony would all get together and do something about this Website (most scammers are using it as it is an easy web to use for them). A Smart Canadian Woman
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I live in Northeast Florida, my husband and I recently became seperated after 13 years together because he molested my two daughters, starting at a very early age. I was going through some paperwork today and I saw that my husband, because unfortunately we are still legally married, has purchased a membership for E-Harmony. Not only is he still married, but he is an alleged child molester. How does E-Harmony check these people out. Yea he looks clean cut, he is an engineer, does not drink or smoke, but he is a pervert. I feel bad that he may prey on some unsuspecting lonely woman with children. Should I post his name on here? What should I do? God help who ever he hooks up with. He is a wolf in sheeps clothing. He is hispanic, and a civil engineer and from northeast florida, Jacksonville to be exact. He has 4 sons of his own, and is still married, although he must of lied about that in his profile. Please beware.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony ought to be called e-scams. Thankfully I joined for three months... at a cost of about $30... for the entertainment, it is on ok expense...but I certainly will NOT renew and will NOT suggest anyone else renew either! I have Never 'met' so many fake people, Men traveling to Africa, Ghana, and England, men who are widowed, men with 12 year old sons... and men who cannot even spell the profession they claim. EHarmony is disgusting. To "claim" to be a "christian" site gives Christianity a Horrible Name! Like others, I have sent information to eharmony, but they do NOTHING. Even when there is an identical picture listed for two different men, in two different locations. What a rip off!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined eHarmony a few months ago. I first was matched by a man whose name was supposedly James Brown from Atlanta. After about three weeks he informed me that he had to go to Ghana to build a bridge and that he would be back in 6-8 weeks. Told me that he would IM me daily. And, he did. However, about 2 weeks later he started asking me to western union money to him. I ended that relationship right then. Three days later I was matched with a guy named Steve Connolly from Ft. Myers, Florida. He sent me tons of pictures with him and his son. He claimed to be a diamond dealer. He told me that his wife had died and he wanted to find a new wife to help raise his 12 year old son who lived in New York with his sister-in-law as he travel abroad so much. He called me several times a day, he had a very thick accent and sent beautiful love letters to me. About a month into the communication stage he told me that he had to go to AFRICA to buy some gems. Begged me to wait for him, blah, blah, blah. He continued to call me via a cell that I've trace to England. About four weeks into his trip he calls demanding money as he was having problem with his gems getting through customs. He became furious when I said no. Another relationship terminated by me! eHarmony does not check out these men. I fear countless women have been defauded and probably heart broken. I've hired an investigator as eHarmony still has these men on their site. If I wasn't a savvy women I could of been taken to the cleaners. eHarmony is putting women at risk! Linda, Tampa, FL
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony...Where do I start? I joined on 2/7/08 and among my first matches was Michael Brown supposedly from Annapolis, Maryland (USA)...actually after a month of communicating with him found that he was in Accra Ghana all along. He asked me to send him a lap top computer, said he was in Accra on business and his computer was not working. I was suspicious and declined to send him the laptop, despite our tentative, blossoming "romance". I was dumbfounded to find that he was a scammer even though every red flag was there for me to see. Since then Eharmony has matched me with at least 3 scammers a week many of whom have requested communication with me. Eharmony has removed 5 of my matches from their site and notified me (didn't state the reason for removal just that they are not responsible if I chose to continue communcating). In most cases I wrote emails to eHarmony with my concerns (the latest sent me a stage 4 communication asking me to write to his personal email address (cyruslarry@yahoo.com) I did an internet search and this email address came up on a scam website. EHarmony spends tons of money on advertising. Customer safety is not a priority. There are ways to make eharmony a safer dating site, but apparently they don't care enough. Or they are rolling in the dough and the profits are outweighing the complaints. Eharmony does not deserve the fairly good reputation it seems to enjoy. It is not a safe way to meet people, especially those of us who are/were naive about the dangers of internet dating. WARNING SIGNS: As stated by other posters on this site: Consistently poor grammar, unusual phrasing (for ex: they say they are American but use the word "mum" instead of "mom", "cos" instead of "because", etc. Too Much Information: They often write their whole life story in the first or second email. Often they are widow or have a child who has died. Careers involving: Engineering, Oil, Import/Export, Self Employed, Gold Dealers, Precious Minerals/Metals, etc. Pushy: They try to get too personal too soon. They are impatient if you don't respond quickly enough. They despise any sign that your are distrustful or suspicious. LOL. Overly romantic: If you received a romantic letter with poetic language, do an internet search of some of the key phrases. Chances are it came from a "love letters" website. They are great at cut and paste. They are anxious to get you communicating off of eHarmony. Eharmony is no safer, and no more effective than any other dating site. The 29 dimensions of compatability are just a MARKETING GIMMICK. Save your money. Use a free dating site, you will be just as safe and a few bucks richer. _ Brenda
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have noticed that several ladies received a match with Micheal Brown W.Haven, CT with a son named Mark only to discover that he is a scam artist from Ghana. I contacted the FBI about this snake. I too sent him some money to help replace his son's lost PSP3. It is sad that we trust people only to find out that we cannot feel anything after such situations. Now he is back on the site as a Latino or Hispanic. When he contacted me, he was Native American. In fact, he mispelled engineer. The poor mispelling is consistent among all of the scammers. Please take time to notice this. You will also notice that their "full profiles" are quite short. Once they get into Open Communication, they want to chat on Yahoo.com. Please don't do it. Once you refuse, they will leave you alone.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I can't believe in 2008 all these people can be so scammed. Ghana is the premier scam country. I used to work in a fraud dept and we had tons from there. And does no one watch the news or read papers? NEVER give anyone money. Never. Maybe your mother. That's about it. Even if you get a check from them that is MORE then they owe you. Come on people. Listen. Caring is one thing - stupid is quite another.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
On eHarmony, the only guy that responded almost within 24 hours of signing up was this perfect match. I thought that his name was Ben Berko who lived in San Francisco, he had a foriegn accent that could be Danish, Black French. I beleive over a months time I was in touch with several men who claimed to be Benjamin Gray who had to go to Africa for one last gold buy. His father had the business, he was all alone in the world with a son whose mother died in childbirth. He went so far as to want me to accept shipment for the 2.6 million dollar gold that was buying. I must say I wanted this relationship so much that every time questioned everything that didn't make sense to me this guy had a very plausible answer. He wanted money and unfortunately I sent it, but not too late to lose lots more until a friend grew suspicious and did a web search and found the eHarmony consumer complaints. My eyes are wide open to all men now. This guy didn't want to meet in person until after the last gold buy. This guy was very slick and is a psychopath as he used me in all aspects: trust, faith in God, true love, forever love me, won't live without me. A real weak man. My daughter who is trained in fraud had her suspicions from the past, but I didn't let that stop me. But I know much better. I asked for the money back but needless to say two weeks later none has materialized. Further web search led to a website where women were seducing men, so it is not just directed at women. It is a business. What I believe the set-up is that somehow the scammers tap into a real person's profile, and intercept the communication somehow. It is unbelievable what people will do to other people. I can laugh some about it. It was a costly mistake and lesson all in one.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Joined for 2 months set me up with a scammer it turns out this guy is in Ghana first and last time on eHarmony for me
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
only, to my surprise. Had no idea of the many complaints about e Harmony until today after reading so many different stories. I did not do my homework of doing a search on e Harmony before subscribing with them for three months. Glad to say, don't expect anything done on any potential matches. My impression was because their located in Pasedena, Ca. USA. They were misleading Canadians today, that is not true to say the least.Its Americans and Canadians a like.I must admit their advertising strategies are unique in intising all kinds of people in the hope of a potential match.A lot of money was spent to advertise on TV, to lure potential victims like myself into their scam practices. Again I say, its my fault, out of pocket of only $110.00 Canadian funds, no big deal. One must only imagine how much money was lured in, in their coffers. Millions!. Its hard to imagine that the US government allows this kind of scam to continue on both sides of the border. Their licensed by the State of California,which is a sad event for the State to continue granting their license to do business. My story started in February 23, 2008. Intially had 34, potential matches, I discarded all because of profile and age differences. I wrote to them, that the ladies in question have the average age of 52.3 years of age. Out of 34 ladies, 22 had photos. My God, my mother looks better than they are. Of course one may ponder, a photo does not show the true person. I had a level 5 communication with the last one for a meeting of minds over a cup of coffee, perhaps I was wrong. Sorry to say, the poor lady was recently separated and had 4 children to support.Her profile said divorced with no kids. Later, I sent a memo to e Harmony to close all matches which were presented to me. A new set of re editing profile-matching was put in motion, looking for a lady from 18-45 years of age,I changed desired distances from 50 miles to 300 miles. As of today, no response, and I don't expect any. I research entitles not only finding out that all over North American, people have been misled and continue to be mislead. If any one wants to write a formal complaint letter to e Harmony : 300 N. Lake Ave., Ste., 1111 Pasadena, CA 91101 Phone: 626-795-4814 Fax: 626-585-4040 Or email to the many so called Management officials, here's their web site: http://www.pinoy.ca/eharmony/235 This Canadian is certainly out of pocket of $110.00. But the last! I will certainly email this memo(e Harmony Consumer Complaint Story) to this web site but also forward this same memo to all e Harmony board of directors. One may question my motives of even writing any formal compliant, for I know it will go to deaf ears. I do not wish to receive back any refund money. But I promise never to be lured to any such Scams again. If I had known the facts before hand, I rather have given my money to help children in need in my community, rather than making e Harmony's their pockets larger. Stay turn. will I ever get a response from them. I don't think so.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
only, to my surprise. Had no idea of the many complaints about e Harmony until today after reading so many different stories. I did not do my homework of doing a search on e Harmony before subscribing with them for three months. Glad to say, don't expect anything done on any potential matches. My impression was because their located in Pasedena, Ca. USA. They were misleading Canadians today, that is not true to say the least.Its Americans and Canadians a like.I must admit their advertising strategies are unique in intising all kinds of people in the hope of a potential match.A lot of money was spent to advertise on TV, to lure potential victims like myself into their scam practices. Again I say, its my fault, out of pocket of only $110.00 Canadian funds, no big deal. One must only imagine how much money was lured in, in their coffers. Millions!. Its hard to imagine that the US government allows this kind of scam to continue on both sides of the border. Their licensed by the State of California,which is a sad event for the State to continue granting their license to do business. My story started in February 23, 2008. Intially had 34, potential matches, I discarded all because of profile and age differences. I wrote to them, that the ladies in question have the average age of 52.3 years of age. Out of 34 ladies, 22 had photos. My God, my mother looks better than they are. Of course one may ponder, a photo does not show the true person. I had a level 5 communication with the last one for a meeting of minds over a cup of coffee, perhaps I was wrong. Sorry to say, the poor lady was recently separated and had 4 children to support.Her profile said divorced with no kids. Later, I sent a memo to e Harmony to close all matches which were presented to me. A new set of re editing profile-matching was put in motion, looking for a lady from 18-45 years of age,I changed desired distances from 50 miles to 300 miles. As of today, no response, and I don't expect any. I research entitles not only finding out that all over North American, people have been misled and continue to be mislead. If any one wants to write a formal complaint letter to e Harmony : 300 N. Lake Ave., Ste., 1111 Pasadena, CA 91101 Phone: 626-795-4814 Fax: 626-585-4040 Or email to the many so called Management officials, here's their web site: http://www.pinoy.ca/eharmony/235 This Canadian is certainly out of pocket of $110.00. But the last! I will certainly email this memo(e Harmony Consumer Complaint Story) to this web site but also forward this same memo to all e Harmony board of directors. One may question my motives of even writing any formal compliant, for I know it will go to deaf ears. I do not wish to receive back any refund money. But I promise never to be lured to any such Scams again. If I had known the facts before hand, I rather have given my money to help children in need in my community, rather than making e Harmony's their pockets larger. Stay turn. will I ever get a response from them. I don't think so.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
eHarmony has been a real ripoff. The only guy who was intested in me was a scammer, Ben Gray from Accra, Ghana. And the Interpol of Scotland Yard has a file on him. He has been kicked off of match.com. He also goes by the name of Ben Berko of Berkomines@yahoo.com. He asked me for money after professing his undying love for me. He is a real slick con artist who knows what women want in security, emotionally and financially. A real ass hole he is.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I never di join, thank goodness. I was especially turned off when I indicated in my profile request that my "match" be my age or close. I also asked for someone who had been to college. What I got were old men--in their 70s living more than 800 miles away. One old man was a truckdriver. This site is definitely a scam. A friend of mine signed up and for a year of membership got one date with a man she was not even attracted to. Don't waste your money! I sure am glad I didn't!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
All if not most of these so called matches are out of date , this service is totally bogus DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I havae been trying to change my primary photo and by clicking on changing primary photo and there is no contact at all.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I havae been trying to change my primary photo and by clicking on changing primary photo and there is no contact at all.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
The "matches" that EHarmony supplied were expired, meaning that the people I was matched with no longer subscribed (and now I know why!) and could not answer my questions or emails. There is a link to renew, renew, renew, or update and pay more, more, more, but absolutely no way to contact them to cancel. EHARMONY IS A TOTAL RIPOFF MASQUERADING AS A CHRISTIAN WEBSTIE! They will eventually reap what they sow. In the meantime, count me as a hapless victim. I'm not the victim type so I'm warning others. DON'T TRUST EHARMONY!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I registered on Dec. 31, 2007 and have only had three contacts in three months. What a rip off!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
My complaint is basically deceptive advertising and lack of response from there customer service via email request. 1st. - during the initial browsing on what they called a free comunication weekend the matching sends numerous email match's in your area but of course no pictures of match's unless you subscribe as well as the comunication method is a fill in the blank question that a member may ask you questions "guided comunication" which is a joke. 2nd. then I finally decided to subscribe on the last chance spring offer and my original fear which came true was they try and auto-renew after your period runs out meaning they have your credit card number and charge - well the deceptive part of this is they say during the process that when you get to the confirmation page you can dis-able the auto renewal feature but no valid link was listed and I emailed the support staff asking them on steps to disable the auto renewal to my credit card and no response at all - so this business practice prompted me to immed. cancel my subscription and I anticipate problems with charges on my credit card and will likely end up in a dispute charge process. Thanks for your website - I really hope that someone has launched complaints to the AG office on eharmony. Steve - Texas
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Where do I start? I thought eHarmony would be a positive experience. I'm 61, been told that I'm handsome, I'm in better shape than I was 5 years ago, I exercise regularly and I get matched with a 60 year old woman who looks like my Grandma! I have had over 200 "matches" in less than a month. You all know the story there . . . no pictures . . . etc. Anyway, I just want to get out and at least get some of my money back.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Not only is everyone on this site , ridiculous they auto renewed after I cancelled and screwed me out of another fifty dollars!!!!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I wrote a comment about "What are you passionate about" I wrote a small clip about Hating Cats in there. The same day, Eharmony Froze my account until I changed the material. I was still in the account creation section and my account was turned off because they felt that Hating Cats was too violent and inappropriate for eharmony. It has been 3 days now of me paying for this subscription, and still, they have not turned it back on. Through a million Searches, I finally found their number. Hopefully calling them will do the trick. 1800-648-9548
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
As an on and off member of Eharmony since 2004, I can tell you from personal experience - save your money. My personal opinion, which seems to be shared by many, is that the eharmony service is mostly hype, preying on the emotions and hope of singles, utilizing deceptive business practices and outright fraud, skirting on the very edge of ethics. Customer service is horrible, and contrary to the commercials, you have far less control over your success than on other major dating sites, with arguably, less results. Anyone signing in within the past 3 months will have noticed the ballooning number of advertisements, turning the original dating service into a commercial ridden site with a secondary task of matching couples. One would think that the anticipated revenues from these advertisement would allow eharmony to reinvest into infrastructure, but unfortunately, bandwidth hungry ads combined with “free weekends” have and continue to crush EH’s infrastructure, resulting in frequent outages during which paid and non paying customers alike aren’t able to access their accounts. Rather than attempt to fix the flaws and shortcomings of their service, eharmony instead chooses to add more and more disclaimers, and make it harder and harder to express dissatisfaction. For those of you have had similar experiences, stick with me; this may still be helpful for you – you may still be able to get some benefit out of the service without expending any more money. For those who have not yet joined, or are reading this prior to making your decision, this may well save you time, money, and aggravation. I’ll explain how the service is supposed to work, how it really works (and doesn’t) and how to get your worth out of it. I’ve always been a firm believer that if you don’t adjust your business model, your customers will adjust it for you. Fortunately, that seems to be the case - many users are beginning to leverage the shortcomings of the eharmony service to their advantage. For those who may not choose to read this entire editorial, let me quickly touch on their success rate. I have been told over and over by EH customer service representatives that EH has “millions” of members, that several thousand people join each day, and on average, 95 people get married each day. In fact, they’ve even made that message part of the music on hold as you wait patiently to speak with an agent. I’m not a math major, but check out the math. If you were taking a test, and there were 5000 questions, and you got 95 of them right, your score would be 1%. If you dropped that number to 4000, your odds go up to 2%. Either way, you would fail the exam. Graciously assuming a user base of 2 million subscribers, the success rate doesn’t even register. Combine that with the common customer service statement that “this takes time”, and this translates to you spending several hundred dollars, on the 1% (or less) chance that EH will successfully match you. Add to that the frustration that EH, not you, is in control of whom and how often you are matched, and you have just paid money to be conned, frustrated, cheated, and ultimately, ignored. I will say again what thousands of other unhappy customers have said. Stay away. Retain control by signing up with one of the other popular services where you are in control of your own matches. Although EH can claim a success rate greater than 0%, I’m convinced you would have better luck playing the lottery. Now let me help those unsatisfied customers from whom eharmony has unfortunately already stolen money - here’s how to reach them to complain. Presumably because of an exponentially increasing number of customer issues, eharmony seems determined to make it more and more difficult for customers to voice their dissatisfaction. Previously, you were able to email, call, and write to eharmony. Today, emailing is no longer an option unless you use their predefined form (you cannot send an actual email, it will bounce). Telephone support is swamped and limited to basic technical service issues. Anything else, and you’re advised to write to the corporate office, and then hung up on to clear the line for the next dissatisfied customer. Still, the place to start is via telephone, and to that end, here is the “current” customer service number: 1-800-648-9548. I say “current” because the number has changed, and upon pointing that out to an agent, he confirmed that there were indeed (as of now) “about four numbers”. As their web pages continually evolve, the phone number moves as well, and it’s not easy to find. If the phone number has again moved, and you’ve paid by credit card, call your credit card and ask for the phone number eharmony has listed on record.) As I write this today, it’s hidden behind a link listed as “email us”. Not exactly intuitive, but during one of my most recent calls to customer service, I asked to be walked though the process to find the again “moved” number. If you’re curious, click on “Help” at the bottom of the main page, then “technical issues” in the left frame of the resulting page. From the next page, find the link labeled as “email us”, which one would first think was a hyperlink to a customer service email address. Not so. Click that link, and you’ll be taken to a page containing a form to email customer service, which just happens to list a phone number. Unfortunately, that phone number won’t do you a lot of good if you’re trying to get any real satisfaction. Over the last 6 months, I’ve noticed and been told (by the agents themselves) that the agents are busier than ever. It seems that the number of complaints has grown significantly faster than the number of agents able to address them. Every instance I’ve called, whether early morning, afternoon, or late evening, I’ve been greeted with a pre-recorded message indicating “we’re too busy, please call back later”. If you do have the patience (or determination) to remain on hold long enough to get a live person (sometimes more than 45 minutes), you’ll probably be disappointed. The reps at the other end of the phone are there primarily to answer “how to”; they will NOT help you with a service complaint. (In very rare instances, they may offer to extend your service by a few days or maybe a week.) They will instead, advise you to write to eharmony corporate, detailing your complaint, and then wait for a response, all the while, watching the time on your subscription tick away as they waddle through the piles of complaints they receive. So – for those of you who haven’t signed up yet, a word of warning to those considering “free weekends”. Although it is true EH will allow you to take a personality profile for free, as well as set your matching preferences, then be presented with an initial group of matches, you are NOT allowed to view their pictures (if they even have any), or communicate with your matches until you’ve paid. The exceptions to this are the “free communication weekends” – you’re allowed to engage in limited, but not full, communication with matches, yet still, not see their photos. It’s been said nothing is free, and this con is no exception. Discussions with customer service confirm; EH is betting that they’ll hook you, and that your deep desire to find the love of your life will override your good judgment – manipulating you into turning over your credit or debit card number. In reality, many people get irritated when they find out that the “free” weekend isn’t all they thought it would be, and then abandon their profile. Stop and think about that for a minute. Just as you, as a potential subscriber, are signing up for free, so are thousands of others. What does that mean? As a subscriber, each time a free weekend comes around, you get matched with a new group of matches with whom you can’t communicate, and the influx of those matches causes the EH system to overload, repeatedly preventing you from logging in. As a non-subscriber, it means that the people you’ve been matched with and may become excited about meeting, can’t communicate with you either, even if you hand over your payment, and the influx of users prevent you from getting full use of that “free” period. So you’ve spent the weekend trying to log in, or, maybe you’re lucky enough to be able to communicate with someone. Now you’re hooked – you think you’ve found the one, but come Monday, you can no longer communicate. What do you do? Pay – only to find out that the apple of your eye isn’t what you expected, and you can’t get your money back. Here’s how the process is supposed to work: You, as a potential subscriber, start by taking a lengthy survey, called a “personality profile”. The current survey is considerably shorter than that which was in place in 2004 (which took a little over two hours to complete). Eharmony markets this profile as the method by which they will find “your match”, though, it appears more that these are questions designed to analyze you, a big part of which is to determine whether or not you’re happy, and what percentage of the time you “are” happy (the competitor site “chemistry” parodies this assumption in their own commercials). It’s at this point where eharmony informs you whether you meet their requirements to join, or aren’t happy enough, often enough, and refuse to allow you to join the service. Think about that. Some people who are searching for their other half are turned down, because they’re not happy about being alone. Presuming you “pass” the “entrance exam”, the next step is to set your search parameters. In comparison to other services, eharmony offers you far fewer search options; instead, boasting that, using the results of your personality profile, you’ll be matched only with people who have been determined by their system to be “highly compatible”. You’re given a recommended age range, (which you can override), then allowed to choose the religion(s), race(s), smoking and drinking preferences, a distance radius, and whether or not your matches should have kids. Unfortunately, EH doesn’t respect those settings – and within the past year, they’ve implemented something called “flexible matching”, which any google search will confirm, the majority of customers think is just a way to present you with “something” when in fact, they have “nothing”. In this way, the are able to say they have delivered matches and are fulfilling the contract. Flexible matching in itself is a misnomer – the whole marketing of the EH system is that you’re matched with other people based on their 29 dimensions of compatibility. A flexible match is someone outside of those 29 dimensions or outside of the parameters you’ve established. The result? In extremely rare instances, you MAY decide that you’re interested. Keep in mind, usually, you’re not. And it’s still a two way street – the attraction must be mutual. As an example, EH may match you with someone hundreds of miles away, even though you’ve stated that you wish to look within a 50 mile radius. Or – maybe you’re matched with someone who has three children, even though you’ve stated you don’t want to be matched with someone who already has children. Once you’ve been presented with an initial set of matches (who may or may NOT be subscribers), paying members are allowed to engage into a 4 step communication process, in which, either of you may choose to communicate or not and reveal photos or not. Once in the process, either of you may choose at any time to cease communication by “closing” a match. In the first step, you each pick and answer 5 multiple choice questions from a pre-defined list. Next, you and your match exchange your “must haves” and “can’t stands” – again, from a predefined list. Next come three essay questions. Assuming you both make it this far, you’re presented with a “safety message”, and then allowed to enter into the last step; “open communication” - a basic email system. Again, many of the profiles you may be matched with belong to people who have signed up, but not paid. An important note – EH DOES NOT make a public distinction between active and inactive profiles, another common complaint cited in internet reviews. You (whether a paid subscriber or not) have no way of knowing whether that match is an active subscriber or not (meaning, able to communicate with you or not) – a practice that Yahoo Personals was called on in the subject of a class action suit, subsequently settled. This communication process continues for as long as your subscription is valid, or until you become aggravated with the service and quit. Here’s another common complaint and misconception regarding matches. One would think, that the EH system would reach into the millions of members, determine whom you’re compatible with, and present those matches to you, all at once – to look through and deliver to you. Not so. Matches are sent to you- but not all at once. And again, those matches aren’t all current members. In my personal experience, (confirmed by other members) if I get 7 matches, 3 of them will state in their profile, “no longer a member”. Worse, I’ve been matched (as have others) with people who have been members for months or years, before being paired with me. When confronted with this information, EH vehemently denied this could have happened, insisting that matches are made as users join the service. After pointing out three instances where this was not the case, the customer reps offered the possibility that the match may have chosen to “retake” their personality profile. Further discussions with those matches revealed no such retakes, and eharmony chose to avoid the questions. From a business perspective, financially, it isn’t in EH’s interest to provide you with all of your matches at the same time – they don’t get paid if or when you find your soulmate; they only generate revenue from your monthly subscription fee. Similarly, it doesn’t make sense for them to let you know who is or is not an active subscriber. They match you with inactive (and active) members, hoping that one or both of you will be interested enough to hand over a monthly fee. The more people that sign up, the more active they can make the matching process appear. They needed to find a way to generate more revenue, to supplement or make up for subscription fees. The solution? Advertising. By failing to distinguish between active and inactive members, they’re able to artificially inflate the “subscriber” count – and then – using those artificially high numbers, sell advertising. It’s similar to a newspaper – not everyone necessarily reads the paper, but the newspaper is able to say “ we deliver to x subscribers” and are able to sell advertising based on that volume. As of late, and previously touched on, EH’s web pages are overloaded with advertisements. If you watch carefully, you’ll see that some of the pages are coded such that the advertisements appear even before the match information (which you’ve PAID for) – further clogging the infrastructure and slowing the system. The next most common complaints regarding matches seem to be the quantity, quality, and frequency of matches – mostly because subscribers expect more based on the 29 dimensions. Many people (and I can personally attest to this) claim that during your subscription, the frequency and quantity of matches is minimal. As your subscription nears expiration though, EH sends you a burst of matches – hoping that at least one of them sparks an interest enticing you to extend your subscription. Unfortunately, as already stated, those matches may not be active, but worse, EH doesn’t guarantee the information contained in profiles, and now, posts an even broader disclaimer. The result? Personal experiences (confirmed by internet reviews) – inactive matches, matches claiming to be local, but really from Russia, or matches claiming to have no children, but every third word of their profile talking about their 4 small children that mean the world to them, with 5 photographs of the match with their children. Others have even reported matches really being married, or from Nigeria scamming for money. Now – aside from the obvious, why would this be frustrating? Mostly, because you’ve paid for a service – marketed to be – matching you with someone who MATCHES you on 29 dimensions, to find out you’ve been “matched” with a fraud. EH markets “removing” the guesswork and matching you with “highly compatible matches”. When I confronted the customer service reps with this information, I was told that we’re only matched with “active users” – but they have so many members joining each day that they’re unable to check the profiles. This didn’t make sense, so I asked for a definition of “active user”. It turns out that determination is made by how often the user logs in, not necessarily whether they are a paid subscriber. (Remember this; it will come up later). Many people join eharmony thinking that the 29 dimensions of compatibility are some magical formula guaranteeing that eharmony will find their soulmate by scanning through the millions of subscribers. Realistically, the only difference between eharmony and other sites is that other sites allow you to see ALL profiles on their system at that time, and then pick from those profiles. Granted, those profiles may also be non-members – but at least with those sites, you are in control – you write to or wink at whomever you are interested in, and then the two of you go from there; ignoring the advance, politely declining, or entering into communication. With eharmony, THEY are in control, matching you with a fraction of those whom they’ve determined you’re compatible with, at a time of their choosing. And as we all know, in life and relationships - timing is everything. So – how do you get your value out of this service if you’ve already been taken advantage of? How do you fight back from being matched with non-members or fraudulent members? Sadly, complaining doesn’t seem to be working. Rather than come to the table, EH responds to complaints by rationalizing their behavior in the FAQ section, and posting more and more disclaimers on the web site. It appears as though users will need to force eharmony to change their business model, to validate profiles, remove inactive members, and deliver quality matches to you. How do users do that? Cut off the funding. If you expect to have any chance of success though, be honest with the other members, while maintaining your safety until you’re ready to divulge that information to a match. Read on. First, establish an anonymous email account. Do not use an email address with a cute meaning, or worse yet, your name. Sign up with one of the major free mail providers and create a new address containing a mix of letters and numbers that have NO meaning, setting the “from” address as “[first name] from [your city] on Eharmony”. This will allow you to maintain your anonymity but still allow you to be recognized by other EH users as they associate your profile and email. Do NOT use this email address for anything else. Now – recall that EH has admitted that they don’t have the “time or resources” to check through “millions of profiles” for accuracy or content. Members have caught on and have used that flaw to their advantage, by placing – in their profile, statements to the effect of “I’m not a subscriber, but you can reach me at this email address”. (Unfortunately, some of those people publish email addresses that reveal personal information; something that EH tries to restrict – for your own safety. If you choose to follow this route, use the anonymous email address.) Now, recall that EH will continue to use YOUR profile AFTER your subscription has expired, presenting it as an ACTIVE profile, to con new or existing users into thinking you are a CURRENT subscriber. This means, as long as you continue sign in to your account, (whether paid or not) they will consider you active, and match you with OTHER active and inactive members, though YOU, as an unpaid member, will not be able to see your match’s pictures (if they have any). Many users have begun to use this flaw in the system to their advantage as well, using their profile embedded email addresses to communicate with matches, sometimes going direct to open communication, some using the format of the 4 step process. Using the listed email address, members remain anonymous until they’re ready to share information, while remaining control of being able to respond to or decline requests to communicate. So –what if you’re totally fed up with the system and have no desire to use – be used – any longer? You have several options – sign in and instruct eharmony to remove your profile, or – remove all your photos and text, other than “NO LONGER A MEMBER”, however, internet complaints reveal that members continue to be matched and receive matches from EH even after they’ve requested to be removed. Whichever you decide, to be fair and or helpful to the other subscribers, you should let people know how dissatisfied you are by removing your profile or stating your dissatisfaction in your current profile.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am 5'7" tall and weigh approximately 175 pounds. They continually sent me men who are under 5'6" tall. I had tried to make changes to stop this, but to no avail. I am a professional woman, very attractive, 50 years old, make a decent salary, own my own home and am very independent. My favorite "match" was the 57 year old man, on SSI living with Mom and Dad in Mom and Dad's trailer. His pic was actually in front of the trailer. I would say there was a good chance he changed a transmission just prior to the pic being shot, he was covered in muck!!! My account has since expired. I would say to anyone considering giving it a try..RUN!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have to agree with the majority here. I worked for IBM and I am quite familiar with filtering potential and what is possible. I signed up and took the lengthy survey. Fortunately, I was accepted (unlike some unfortunate others - which I don't understand). You can't browse or search - they send you matches they believe are "right". Well, I posted 4 pics (the max) and stressed that height and age were important to me. My "matches" came back in a day or two. NOT A SINGLE PIC! I'm not looking for a super-model, I just would like to know who I'm dealing with - fair is fair. Not only that but these ladies were either much taller than myself or too young - UGH! So I called and complained. They gave me the company line that nothing matters but their precious 29 factors. I went on Match and it is working just fine, thank you very much. Good luck to all. We deserve to be happy.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I can't log on once i log off.I have already changed my password once.I can't email you from your site. it won't let me .It just comes back to sign in again.It won't take my info.Why am I having this much trouble? This is my first try at online dating and it's giving me nightmares
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Re-enrolled in eharmony a few nights ago having reset my settings to look for matches in Ireland. The system yielded a sum total of ZERO matches so I called customer service. I requested information on the number of members in Ireland, was given vague rejoinders, some of which were patrnonizing and insulting so I requested a full refund immediately. Of course, after a lot of double talk, I got no satisfaction and was directed to their P.O. Box to write a letter.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined eharmony approx. 1 yr. ago, thinking it would be a better option to traditional dating methods. Not being certain how to set up the account, I spoke with a customer care specialist initially, and she set up the preferences for me. I was grateful, and began my 1 year on eH At first I recieved matches mostly in line with my geographic area and professional expectations. Within 3 months however, I began getting an overwhelming number of matches at great distances from me(several states away) and not in line with the intellectual or emotional expectations I would have expected. I attempted to alter account settings in line with my preferences, but found the site burdensome. Finally, I decided to end my association with eH just before our 1 year anniversary. I was tired of messing with the whole thing. Following the prompts and links in their account settings area, I clicked on the "cancel account" link. I followed what options I was given, and the screen told me my account was canceled. A month later my cc was billed for a month's subscription. Again I attempted to cancel. Again I was told my account was finished. I replied to the email I was sent telling me my subscription was going to auto-renew, with no answer. Finally I phoned the number on my cc statement, and the customer service person told me that I hadn't done what I was supposed to do. There was no record of my contact. I walked her through the website access I had, (and had told me I couldn't have done), and essentially refused to refund the incorrectly billed amount. I was informed that I must be the defective one, since eH has blah blah members, and so many marriages, and their success is so fantastic. I had over 400 matches ( 90% out of state, couldn't spell, and had little to say in their profile. I think they are more interested in bulk than quality. I do not recommend them, and have not recommended them to friends and acquaintances that have inquired. Barbara Former eHarmony Client
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I gave them my card info, then it scame back as "rejected" good! Nothing wrong with my card, but they wanted me to give them another card. Ya RIGHT! I'll bet they have charged my original card and I'll bet I am going to have to fight them to get my money back. But please don't blame "Christians" because of some crooked site claiming to be Christian.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Wow..I have just spent the last hour reading the stories. I have had many similar experiences. One person, named Richard, from GA was one of my first contacts. He has a daughter Rose and his wife and Rose's twin brother were killed in an airplane crash. He suddenly needed to go to Ghana, Africa to supervise the construction of a hospital. When I requested, he actually sent me construction pictures of a building. It was sweetie and these "canned" love messages I think pasted from Lovingyou.com (I googled a few of them and ended up on this site). He wanted me to send him a gift for his daughter's birthday. He could not find a PSP and was really sad and would I send him one. Then, later when he was in Africa, his clothes were stolen so could I send him jeans. I have had similar "Africa" experiences since Richard. They get very upset when you do not send them money. And notice the more upset/angry they get, the more broken their english becomes. Contacted eHarmony and I was told, basically, "sucks to be you". You left the "security" of eHarmony and communicated outside, so it is not their problem. As of now Richard has not been terminated (not that I know of), but three others have been. Like many of you, it became of "game" of sorts to see what they had the nerve to ask for. And when you do not give them what they want, I broke his heart..how could I do this. Whatever.......Check back later...I have another story to tell, but it has not fully developed yet. Eharmony sucks! I rather stay single, or do it the old fashion way...a chance meeting or meet a friend of a friend.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Wow..I have just spent the last hour reading the stories. I have had many similar experiences. One person, named Richard, from GA was one of my first contacts. He has a daughter Rose and his wife and Rose's twin brother were killed in an airplane crash. He suddenly needed to go to Ghana, Africa to supervise the construction of a hospital. When I requested, he actually sent me construction pictures of a building. It was sweetie and these "canned" love messages I think pasted from Lovingyou.com (I googled a few of them and ended up on this site). He wanted me to send him a gift for his daughter's birthday. He could not find a PSP and was really sad and would I send him one. Then, later when he was in Africa, his clothes were stolen so could I send him jeans. I have had similar "Africa" experiences since Richard. They get very upset when you do not send them money. And notice the more upset/angry they get, the more broken their english becomes. Contacted eHarmony and I was told, basically, "sucks to be you". You left the "security" of eHarmony and communicated outside, so it is not their problem. As of now Richard has not been terminated (not that I know of), but three others have been. Like many of you, it became of "game" of sorts to see what they had the nerve to ask for. And when you do not give them what they want, I broke his heart..how could I do this. Whatever.......Check back later...I have another story to tell, but it has not fully developed yet. Eharmony sucks! I rather stay single, or do it the old fashion way...a chance meeting or meet a friend of a friend.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
So much for their screening process...I was matched and met a transsexual-didn't know it by her PROFESSIONALLY retouched photos and voice. When we met I knew immediately she was a he...big feet and hands plus an Adam's apple. Also, I am a very fit and athletic person (cycle over 200+ miles a week and work out) Looks and attitude about fitness are very important to me. Well, I get matched with cows who the most exercise they get is pushing the remote on the TV or getting up to get another pint of Ben & Jerry's. EH claims that looks are not important to the long term stability of a relationship-but most will agree that they are. It is not so much the looks, but the attitude of not wanting to live a healthful life that I take issue with and don't want to be matched with people who are obese or overweight.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I JOINED E-HARMONY ABOUT A YEAR AGO. THEY SENT ME PEOPLE I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH. PLUS...THEIR FREE TRAIL MEMBERSHIP DOESN'T WORK. YOU SPEND TIME ANSWERING ALL THE QUESTIONS ONLY TO HAVE TO JOIN, THERE IS NOTHING FREE.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
My friend met someone on Eharmony.com. Turns out he was married. They don't do background checks, so that point alone should raise a red flag. She dated this guy for a while and when she was comfortable with him, he stole her debit card, along with bankrupting her account, stole her car, forged her title, all in one day and gave her car to HIS WIFE. This is Eharmony? More like Ehorror. Stay away!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
For the past month I have had trouble getting to your web sit but no other web site. You need a new server. It takes 30-45 minutes to get to my matches.Also your adds delay getting to the site I don't need more ads. I am I member already. Please get a new server or refund my money! John O'Brien
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
THanks for giving me the lowdown on "Danny from Huntsville, TX". The e-mail he sent was "Bryant Lasson" and an IM was for "timmydear". I, too, wondered about the professed education yet poor grammar and punctuation but attributed it to too much IM'ing. He had just mentioned that his computer was broken, but had not yet asked for money. He seemed like a nice enough guy, so was going to communicate on an old e-mail address, but am glad to have read this to have saved the time and trouble. I really don't like that I haven't been able to reach ANY customer representatives about problems and was surprised but relieved to hear that the creepy Derrick from Ontario was removed. That gave me a false sense of security that things would be better. Thanks for the stories and make sure to keep passing the word about not sending money -- that's always a scam!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
signed up for 6 months.most of my matches where closed before i got to read them or werent a match at all meet three woman in person.one had a bfriend one didnt want to meet anyone says she wasnt ready and third was was married.most matches never return my emails.what a waste of time and money
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
check the ip address before going to long with anyone. More scammers on eharmony than ticks on a goat.most from nigeria
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Charged my credit card before I had a chance to cancel. Told me I must cancel 24 hours before experation. But they charged me 2 days before. No good response. You have to cancel way before, and then they let you use the service until it expires.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Stay away from Richard Waters from Kingsland, GA. He is scamming my friend who is foolish enough to fall for his story. He says he owns a construction business and he had to leave to go to Accra, Ghana for his business. He says he is working on a hospital there. He says the same things I have heard from all the other scam stories. Just beware of him and be smart!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I also had a bad experience with Ferdinand from Huntsville... Once, we started open communication, he went by the name of Bryant Lasson. He told me that he was working in Nigeria in the oil business. One day is machine broke and he asked me to send him money to be able to fix it and finish his contract...about $550. I google his name and found this page...Thank you to the canadian girl for her message! It saved me some money! A girl from Louisiana
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
They renewed my subsription and I never authorized them to do so and they will not cancel my subscription
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Been a member on & off for 2 years. Everytime I cancelled I got enticing matches so I would swallow the bait & renew. In 2 years I have had maybe 3 dates! Just cancelled again & I get maybe 8 women who selected me. I have been a member of American Singles during the same period & had a lot of dates. Just joined Grear Expectations its not cheap but I am getting dates, 3 in a month with a couple more to schedule. Stay away from E harmony it doesnt work!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
More people need to know about the potential of Fraud on E-Harmony. I was matched up with an individual who claimed he was an Architect living in Huntington Beach, CA but was raised in Manchester England. When we first started chatting, he told me that he had just gotten a job in Lagos Nigeria to renovate a building into a mall and that he would be out of the country for 6 - 8 weeks. He asked if I would continue chatting with him via IM while he was there working. For the past 2 1/2 months, we have been chatting via telephone and IM. On the day he was suppose to complete the project, he calls me saying that he is short 4,000 in paying the tariff fee on a shipment he ordered to complete his project. I kind of suspected something was going on, but when he asked me for money, I immediately knew that this was a scam. Be Careful on E-Harmony. They do not do identity verification on their subscribers so they could be setting you up with murder's, rapists, thieves. etc. I have also heard bad things about RelyID, that it is not identity verification, but subscribers promises of their identity. Just another E-Harmony rip off.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I'm so happy to have found your site and gotten confirmation of my suspicions so quickly. Same story as the others. Larry Atkins from White Hall, AR, or so he said. I knew from the beginning that the choice of name was strange for someone of Spainish and African descent. Next, his parents were deceased and no siblings and a deceased ex-wife too. It was a bit too much for me, but then again his DEEP religion made it slightly plausible. On day 2, I called him on his scam and asked for direct proof of his existence. I'd already googled him, checked property records online for his home time and researched his supposed business as an investment contractor - all finding no results. When he mentioned attending a conference in Africa soon, I jumped right on the chance to tell him that I was aware of the romance scam and that I'd have no money to give. As any scammer worth their salt should do, he vehemently denied it, called me directly and left repeated voicemails, suddenly claiming that his internet wasn't working. Strange that an "international businessman" doesn't have better technology...a secretary (if not more)...hotel concierge, etc. What's more....his voicemails revealed an accent so thick that it was obvious this person hadn't spent a day EVER in Arkansas! I've gotta laugh though, because the truth is that had his hustle been different, I'd perhaps have paid him to keep the sweet talk and lovely emails coming. A girl could use a boost like that once a week, at least. I'm already paying a trainer, a housekeeper and a masssage therapist...what's another personal service professional. He did his job well afterall. All jokes aside now, I'll be cancelling my membership with eharmony. During this 6-month time, they just couldn't find a match anywhere near my NC home. Oh well...
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I went through the same one month "trial" for $49.95. After the first month, they charged me $49.95 again. I spent an hour on the site looking for their number. After another hour of arguments, they gave me a refund. I also like this other thing they do. Twice, just as my subscription was running out, they sent me matches that were very attractive. We sped through the b.s. process of guided communication. After we got to "open" communication, I e-mailed them. No response from them for a few days. My subscription just happens to be running out. As soon as I renewed, I get a "closed" message from both chicks. Both cited their reason is that they are no longer interested in dating. Why are you on the site? The timing seems awful fishy to me. Seems like a scam.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I gave up with the complaint on the phone, the "supervisor" etc. I contacted the better business bureau (you can do it online) and got a full refund!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Hi, eHarmony automatically renewed my membership even though I had turned OFF receiving matches and they charged me $110.85 and I did not notice it until 6 days later and I called customer service and they said they will NOT refund any of the charge and that there was no person I could speak to in order to get a refund. I am contesting this with my credit card company.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
DONT SIGN UP- IT'S A HUGE SCAM. I'm hopin I can stop a couple of people from paying for this service; plus, there aren't that many people who actually use the site. I'm a normal guy who makes a good living and was tired of the bar scene and figured I would try this site out; oh my God! I just wanted to meet some down to earth women; not on this screwed up website....DON'T SIGN UP. TO MANY JESUS FREAKS...AND PLUS PEOPLE ACTUALLY SOLITICE YOU FOR MONEY. Trust me, go to anyother site, I know a number of people who have met via match. Oh yeah, plus there is an group from Nigeria trying to scam people out of money....AND THIS IS ON A FRICKING CHRISTIAN DATING SITE..LOL! People actually solitice you for money on this site...these right wing Christians need to be shut down and just GO AWAY! Also, look around for a customer service representative number, and you won't see one. This is because they have so many complaints, that why would they take phone calls. Someone should shut them down via the Better Business Bureau.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
The heavily advertised eHarmony "Free Communication Weekend" is a total fraud! 1. You can't see any pictures of the "matches", you have to subscribe and pay for that. 2.If a potential match wants to speak with you by phone, you can't do that either, you must subscribe and pay. 3. "Free Communication" what a joke/deception. You have to jump through hoops of dozens of back and forth questions, many of them are ridiculous, it would take many days to answer all the questions, by then, the fraudulent "Free Communication weekend" would have expired anyway.....and then guess what...you have to SUBSCRIBE and PAY for that - definitely not free. Someone should sue eHarmony for fraud and shut them down.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am in the process of being scammed by the African Scam Ring. Thanks to all of you sharing your experiences I have'nt sent out any money yet. The match for Ferdinand from Huntsville Texas was sent to me. He also goes by the name of Bryant Lasson. The pictures he sent me were professional poses and small that the feature and details are hazy. As we got to the Open Communication stage he suddenly disappeared to Nigeria on a Oil & Gas Pipeline business. He claims to have a masters degree from the UK but his spellings and grammer makes me wonder how he got his degree. After a month of words of undying love and passion, he is supposedly very sick in Nigeria is urgently requires $320.00 rushed to him. Finding this site saved me financial grief. Thanks again. frustrated Canadian.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
nigerian scammer from eHarmoney scammed me. said from ohio, in gas and oil biss. had to go to england on the day we were to have lunch. next thing he is all out of money, need to have money lent to him. more and more and more. friend looked up ip address and he was always in nigeria. his name is edward williams e-mail lovefaithinjoy@aol lovefaithinjoy@yahoo uses god alot in his e-mail don' be scammed by him
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I REPEATEDLY SENT EMAILS CANCELLING MY MEMBERSHIP, BUT THEY STILL TOOK PAYMENT FROM MY CREDIT CARD. WHEN I CALLED TO COMPLAIN, THE CLAIMED NEVER TO HAVE RECEIVED ANY OF MY EMAILS.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I signed up about a month ago. Of course, as any one knows who has used eharmony, it sucks. They spoon feed information about your “match” to you. Typically then, during the course of the process, you or your match, find out something about the other that blows the whole deal. This is information that both parties should have had up front. I tried to cancel my account a week ago and was told my profile would be removed. All they did was cancel my “auto-renew” feature – my profile was still active. I don’t think it is fair that for all of those women take the time to read my profile and try to contact me while I am not even active. Match.com will tell you right in the profile when that last time the logged on – that is fair. Eharmony makes you think all these people are active and available. That is immoral and possibly illegal in Arizona (the old bait and switch). I called back again. One thing I have learned to do is record all telephone conversations customer reps. When Joey answered I immediately told him that I was recording the conversation. He said that eharmony is not able to accept calls that were being recorded and he hung up. Interesting to note that, in their initial message, eharmony states that this call could be recorded for “quality” purposes. In other words, every call that they receive is recorded – bet on it. However, they won’t let you record the conversation. This might be illegal, also – it certainly is immoral. I called back a third time, reaching Cynthia. I explained to her that I wanted to have my profile removed. She said my auto-renew is already set to cancel. I told her I knew that – I want my profile removed. She resisted, but finally gave in. Then I told her that I was recording the conversation. She told me that eharmony does not accept calls that are being recorded and hung. Quite frankly, I had a good laugh. Why do they not accept phone calls that are being recorded? What do they have to hide? They advertise a sweet and wonderful system, but what they are really presenting is a scam to get the last dollar out of everybody who signs up for the program. Do yourself a favor – don’t bother with it. Match.com is far superior – no crap, just the facts.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I can not log onto eharmony. I followed all prompts, but could never get anyone to contact me. I am still getting matches, but have no way of logging on. Plus most of the matches were at least a thousand miles away
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I can not log onto eharmony. I followed all prompts, but could never get anyone to contact me. I am still getting matches, but have no way of logging on. Plus most of the matches were at least a thousand miles away
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Well here goes. Had a match and subsequently met a man from eHarmony. We've been dating for 10 months. He said he has fallen in love with me, and that he had given his heart to me. And just yesterday, my girlfriend who had joined up with the service received HIM as a match. Maybe he should of just asked for her number instead. Karma! Beware of Jaymes.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I was sent a match that clearly states... My subsription closes in Auguyst" I will posy it here for you to see... Just how many others were the same? Read all the way to the bootom: Match Details Occupation: Software Engineer/Consultant Age: 42 Height: 5' 6" Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not affiliated with a religious group Want Kids: No Drinks: Several times a week Smokes: Never Match Delivered: December 03, 2007 Match Prefers: Guided Communication About Flexible Matching Quick Links Are you interested in this match? Thank you for rating this match What is match rating? Read her About Me Send 1st Questions Read her Answers Answer her Questions Send Must Haves and Can't Stands Read her Must Haves and Can't Stands Send 2nd Questions Read her Answers Answer her Questions Read Dr. Warren's Message Start Open Communication Open Communication is the final stage of Guided Communication when members send each other email communications. What is FastTrack? Read Her "About Me" Information Return to My Matches The "About Me" information below will help you learn more about J. When you are finished reading, start communicating and get to know her better. The one thing J is most passionate about: Everything! Beautiful vistas, the smell of fresh cut grass, animals, learning new things, music, deep conversations, great literary works, theoretical physics, being alive....I thrive on learning something new every day. I enjoy knowing new people -- everyone I meet teaches me something about life. The three things which J is most thankful for: My health and happiness -- No broken bones, no allergies, never sick, (almost) always content... how could I not be thankful for that? Success in my professional life -- I've had many professions, and been happy and successful in each. I consider myself very fortunate there. Siblings who are my best friends -- I spend (some) vacations with them because they are great people, not out of duty. The most influential person in J's life has been: Several teachers have given me far more than facts... they have kindled my curiosity and given me tools with which to find my own wisdom. J's friends describe her as: Intelligent Loyal Passionate Funny Three of J's best life-skills are: Creating romance in a relationship Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things Finding new adventures and unique experiences The most important thing J is looking for in a person is: I'd like someone with integrity in word and deed. Like me, he'd cherish life and living, and would have a thirst for learning and a lust for laughing. We'd become best friends, treating each other with respect and valuing each other for who we are. He would make my heart race, and vice versa. The first thing you'll probably notice about J when you meet her: My openness in communication (directness, wit, means of expression). People usually take me for an extrovert because of how easily I can connect with others. The one thing J wishes MORE people would notice about her is: My compassion and sensitivity to others' needs -- those who only know me superficially think I'm a "strong" person, but I'm really a marshmello :). I'm very concerned about others' feelings and opinions. J typically spends her leisure time: It varies. My job is very people intensive, and I work a lot, so when I'm not working I like to re-energize with writing, playing the piano, gardening, cooking or romping with my dogs. When the opportunity arises, I like to go out and play pool, go bowling, play a game of tennis, take a walk in the woods, go to a lecture,listen to a concert on the lawn, .... The things J can't live without are: My pets -- 2 dogs and a cat My siblings A computer/the internet Warmth -- sunshine on my face Piano -- tickling the ivories brings me catharsis The last book J read and enjoyed: I read many books simultaneously so I have many currently in the "to be finished" shelf. The last one I finished was a reread of The Goblet of Fire (Harry Potter) -- I love this whole series for its creativity and depth of plot and characters. I'm currently reading Einstein in Love, which is a history covering more about early 20th physics than Einstein's personal life. My gym book (read it on the stepper) is Hamilton's Pandora's Star, a sci fi novel. In addition to books I read mags -- Scientific American, Wildlife, Better Homes and Gardens, and various investing and nature related newsletters. One thing that only J's best friends know is: I'm a perpetual student. I spent many years in college studying and teaching a wide range of subjects -- math, physics, logic, philosophy, literature, history, education, biology, religion.... And while I settled into modern physics as my subject, I remain interested in pretty much everything. Some additional information J wanted you to know is: If you want to see another profile of mine, or contact me outside of EH (my subs expires in Aug), find me on myspace.com. My name there is Mirimani.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
very teribble site. You do not a choice what age limit you are looking for your match. Every women was e-mailed to me for my match wer ten years older than I am. There isw no way to contact these folks and compalin not you have a choice to change your requiremnts or set one
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
This site is horrible and I don't plan to renew my subscription. I've only been on this site for about 6 days and I sure can relate to what everyone else is saying. I have had about 20 or more matches sent to me in the last week and nearly none of them I was combatitable with. Most of the women on eharmony are very ugly and unattractive and of the attractive ones I see, never go beyond the communication process. The communication process needs to be revamped so matches can communicate with each other. They need mesage boards, web cams and chat rooms. some of the matches i do see have no photos with them. E-Harmony claims that about 90 people per day get married on that site. That may very well be true but it represents only about 2% of the general population of Eharmony. I've done the research. Eharmony is a waste of money because they charge you $59.95 for what. I'm sorry but I want more bang for my buck. I wish i could say that you could meet your true love online but you can't. There's really no way to find out whether you're compatible with someone until you meet them face to face. I just don't understand the logic on how you can fall in love with someone online that you know nothing about. You don't know them it's just that simple. All there is a photo and not much else. You can meet great people on the outside world if you only just get out there.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I communicated with a woman off this site for about a month and dated her for another month. We both fell in love and we then slept together. A few days later she tells me she has an STD. I then tell E-harmony about this and they did not do anything about it. They don't care if one of there members is spreading STD's without their match's knowledge. I came close to suing her over this. I used protection and luckily I did not get what she had and I dropped it. Talk about dodging a bullet. Be sure to get your partner tested before you sleep with them off this site!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
What a joke. I'm basically a conservative guy. Not an angel, but I gave up what little bit of wild life I had after college. Well, eHarmony gives me countless numbers of divorced moms looking for a daddy for Jr. Now, I understand these ladies plight, but I've never been married and have no kids. Thus these matches just aren't "compatable." Where the hell are the 29 dimensions they talk about. It is more like one dimension -- you have a penis and she has a vagina -- the two of your MUST be a match. Geee gads. My favorite "match" was the biker chick who openly ADMITTED that she had sexual intercourse with over 200 different men. I don't own a bike, don't hang out in that scene, and in my little world, 20 seems like a big number. Yep, there go those 29 dimensions again. How in God's name did eHarmony think we would be a match? Actually, we both got a laugh out of it.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I signed up for the "4-day free weekend trial," however they would not let me actually "view" the photos of memebers...yet they were allowed to view my photo. So I called up their customer care # and they said to try communicating to people, and then later ask them to send a photo!???? WHY WOULD I WRITE TO SOMEONE WHOSE LOOKS WERE UNKNOWN TO ME!?!?!? they are whacked.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Met this "dream" guy who wooed me with lovely letters and phone calls. Next thing you know, he's calling me telling me his son was in an accident and they were out of the country and the hospital wanted cash. I immediately felt sick but continued to talk throughout the day to see how deep a hole he was going to dig. I decided to play the game with him and let him believe I was going to send him $5K for his "son's" surgery. Then I told him that my son's class wanted to do a joint fundraiser with his son's school in NY and I needed the name of the school and the teacher's name. Then I told him my son's art class wanted to send his son something for his hospital room so I needed the name of the hospital. Called both and the kid didn't exist. I got the last laugh and he didn't get any of my money thank God. It lasted about four weeks, very intense and I felt happier than I have felt in 10 years so for that I'm grateful that I am in a different frame of mind altogether. I worry about lonely women that have cash, they were so convincing but since I am an art director, I caught the watermark on the photos he emailed me. They were nothing but stock photography. Even one with his fake son. So very disappointing but what the hell, I had lovely words from an Italian gigolo for four weeks and I got the last laugh. Beware of the sweet talkers.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I recently joined eHarmony at the suggestion of a friend - but I sure wish I would have found this site first! Within 5 days - I found out that there were two men writing to me who were both the SAME person. Within another 48 hours, it was clear that this SAME person was logged into another 8 - yes EIGHT idenities! (a total of at least 10 (TEN)) I was on the phone with eHarmony DAILY, then several times a day - asking for an explanation. I got the run around - I demanded a call back from customer service, it never happened. I voiced concerns about the issue of this man being a Stalker mentality AND I questioned the safety of their online security (they really did NOT like those comments from me!) Finally - when I told them that I was reporting this to the Police AND the consumer complaints department in California, where they are based - I was put on hold and when the rep returned he told me my money would be refunded ASAP. I am still waiting and I will follow through on the complaints if my money is not returned. As an additional note - I had the SAME experiences as several other people on here, no matches who were even close; matches who did not respond, etc. I agree with many of the complaints on here - based on my experience. For now - I will wait for my refund and see if it comes. Signed: "Angry in Canada"
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
So, here's another eharmony ploy. As soon as you get disgusted with their service, and cancel your membership, all of a sudden they inundate you with "compatible matches". I got 4 the day after my membership ended. So, I just called them and offered them a deal: if eharmony would guarantee me at least one date out of these four matches (who are SO compatible with me), then I would pay the one month fee. However, if I didn't get at least one date, they would refund my money. Of course, I got told "we can't authorize that". When I challenged them on how they insist they are so good, the woman was very willing to argue with me - but still wouldn't back up their service. Let me tell you, if you can't get a date, you'd be better off sitting in front of the fireplace burning your money than bothering with the crooks at eharmony.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
once again, just so you know how to get in touch with the eharmony scammers, the number is: 800-648-9548.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I originally filled in eharmony's profile questions, and was turned down as falling in the 20% of people that do not qualify for eharmony. In that attempt, I answered the *religion* related questions honestly (I'm not paticularly religious). So, the next day, I tried again, answering all questions exactly the same EXCEPT the religion-based questions, which I answered as if I was rather religious. And viola, I'm accepted!!! Eharmony obviously has a religious bias as to who is considered *acceptable*. I find their brand of theology-thumping extremely offensive. Stay away from eharmony and their discriminatory *holier-than-thou* scam!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I was was contacted on by a handsome man, Fast track. He knew i was a single mom. He was calling me honey from day 2. Said he had to go to Africa, Owned a company in upstarte NY, He owed oil drilling company. has big house 2 dogs, white horse. within 3 weeks. He needed 5,000. Or whatever I can offer and aske more than once. As soon as I called his bluff, he was gone. Beware of this jerk. He looks like a nice guy but is not He goes by Maxwell Smith or Maxwell Thomas. Also his picture now is posted like he is a model with professional pixs.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am na honest person and eharmoney, yes e-harMONEY is dishonest as can be. When I signed up for the get 3 monthes for the price of 1 I couldn't not find their phone number anywhere on the site. I sent them an e-mail to cancel my account because after 1 month they said my 1 month of membership had expired even though I was suppose to get 3 monthes. They continued to bill my credit card every month for 7 monthes. Every time I called they said that the call volume was to high and to call back later. This happened no matter what day of the week I called them or what time of day I called. I told them they had broken the contract by not giving me my 3 monthes for the price of one. Here is the kicker, they said even though I had not longed onto their site those last 6 monthes I was being charged that I would still not get a refund. WTF? They know I didn't use the service, they didn't even send me an email about re-newing my account so they could keep charging me without me realizing it. I urge everyone out there that reads this to call them about their complaint over and over and over again. I spend an hour on the phone with their technical people and customer service people repeating my situation to whoever answers hoping to get a refund that I KNOW WILL NEVER COME - But since I have nobody to date I spend all my spare time tying up their people on the phone. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL EVER GET SATISFACTION FROM THESE MF'ING CROOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am na honest person and eharmoney, yes e-harMONEY is dishonest as can be. When I signed up for the get 3 monthes for the price of 1 I couldn't not find their phone number anywhere on the site. I sent them an e-mail to cancel my account because after 1 month they said my 1 month of membership had expired even though I was suppose to get 3 monthes. They continued to bill my credit card every month for 7 monthes. Every time I called they said that the call volume was to high and to call back later. This happened no matter what day of the week I called them or what time of day I called. I told them they had broken the contract by not giving me my 3 monthes for the price of one. Here is the kicker, they said even though I had not longed onto their site those last 6 monthes I was being charged that I would still not get a refund. WTF? They know I didn't use the service, they didn't even send me an email about re-newing my account so they could keep charging me without me realizing it. I urge everyone out there that reads this to call them about their complaint over and over and over again. I spend an hour on the phone with their technical people and customer service people repeating my situation to whoever answers hoping to get a refund that I KNOW WILL NEVER COME - But since I have nobody to date I spend all my spare time tying up their people on the phone. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL EVER GET SATISFACTION FROM THESE MF'ING CROOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
well gals if you get matched with a guy named Louie he too will tell you he loves you and he lives in Denver co has a son and that he travels for business his picture is gorgeous and his son is even more beautiful but after about three weeks he trys to scam you to send him money that his friend will first send you ya right they want your bank account numbers to do this and he is in south africa i am worried that he has pictures of my family how dumb can i get
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
For a company who has advertisements on tv every other minute you'd think eharmony would provide phone numbers, physical address, email links, etc, etc for all their departments so customers can communicate with staff about all these issues. The lack of contact info on their website is a sign of the type of company it is. What a disappointment.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I hope everyone is careful before giving money to people they meet thru eharmony or any other online dating service. You got to remember you don't know anything about these people's background. Eharmony's 19 dimension test does not have a check criteria for liars and scammers. All you have to do is click on the answers you know people are drawn to. Then you're matched. BE WISE.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
My first question to eHarmony was about matching. How do I screen out men with children. The only option was: Would I accept children under 18 living at home. Because woman are the primary care givers, I found this to be quite skewed against women. After no response, only a non-reply email with links to the site's FAQs, I asked for a refund. Still no reply. After several more attempts, I phoned for a refund. They claimed to have no emails from me. And because it was now past the refund period, I couldn't get a full refund, they would just not renew my subscription. If I wanted to contest this, I would have to MAIL - yes mail - a request. They claimed there was no number or email address for the customer relations dept. More hoops to jump through. eHarmony.com Customer Relations Attn: Louis P.O. Box 60157 Pasadina California 91116
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Dear everyone, Beware of a susan Harwood from connecticut. Who once lived in New Milford, now lives in the bridgeport area. She is not some trusting little school teacher who grew up on a dairy farm in ohio and teaches special ed. Do not go near this person. I met her on eharmony and she scammed me out of thousands of dollars. She also scammed former landlords and roommates out of money as well and who knows how many ex-boyfriends.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Dear Eharmony, Will you please delete all of my closed matches for me? This is the most annoying and frustrating part about Eharmony. I do not have 5 hours a day to waste closing matches individually. Your website is slow and it goes back to the top of the page every time you do something. When someone closes a match with me, I want nothing to do with them, and would rather just have them deleted for me. This used to be the 2nd most annoying thing to me, with the first being that I received tons of stupid e-mails from you everyday any time something happened with my matches. I inquired with your impersonal and inefficient customer service department for a remedy to this absolutely annoying problem. I eventually solved it myself by adding your company to my spam list of blocked e-mail addresses. Joining Eharmony was a horrible mistake and I wouldn't reccommend it to anyone. I will anxiously await your general, premade, and totally unhelpful response about how you can do nothing to solve my problem. Sincerely, xxxxxxx
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I hate to admit how long I paid for eharmony. Stupidly, it was for over one year. In that time, I got to open communication with two men. The first man was unemployed, about to lose his home and took five insulin shots a day. In less than ten minutes of speaking with the second man, I knew how much he made, how many degrees he had, what his mortgage was, etc., etc. ie. he was a complete blowhard. Since I am a hard working, single professional who owns two homes, I find it hard to believe there was any "matching" process done with either of these men. Also, I received matches from 300 - 500 miles away - something I was totally uninterested in, as I had put my setting at 60 miles. Clearly, Eharmony is making a fortune on the lonliness of many people. I wish 20/20 or 60 minutes would do an expose.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Absolute and total wait of time and money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony telephone # 800-648-9548 not easy to find but here it is again.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Here's my story...I agree, the matches were so not what I was hoping for. When I saw that matches were way too old for me, I went in and changed my settings. I still got men that were not what I was looking for or men with whom nothing seemed to fit in my profile. I got tons of people, and I think that was because of my picture ~ but when it came down to it, they weren't well suited no matter how you looked at it. I only wanted to use the service for one month. 2 weeks into it, I followed their process and tried to cancel. A representative called me a day later to try and sell me a really inexpensive pkg, but I was done. I had 2 more weeks left, so kept checking mates and matches, bit disappointingly so. When the day came for expiration, my card got charged again. I immediately went into the site and did what I had to do to cancel AGAIN and called the eharmony consumer number listed here on this site. The representative said that since I cancelled a SECOND time on the day of expiraton, she could honor my refund, but it will take 7-10 days to show up. I have a confirmation number and will be checking my acct. next week to make sure this works. good luck if you use this process. It's totally time consuming and i was not pleased AT ALL with the quality of matches. Not one bit. Good luck if you decide to try it, just set your standards HIGH.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I agree. The matching criteria in eharmony is all screwed up. A long test to match you with people you are not compatible with. The membership fees have to go considerably down. I'm glad I am not the only one to experience the lack of compatibility in the matches. Half of the matches don't ever respond anyway because you later find out they are not paid customers.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony is a scam, yes a scam, I take the time to fill in all my preferences hoping to be matched with women of my choice, location and criteria and what do I get for my money? women that are out of my location, ugly beyond belief and overweight. The next problem is the lack of decent matches. I called EHarmony three times about this problem and there way of solving this problem is extending my subscription. Well that isn't fixing the problem, I still don't receive matches as they stated I would in there commercials. Well nothing left to do other than to bash the hell out of them.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Ladies please BEWARE ... There's a guy in eHarmony who is 42 years old and from a small town in North Carolina who has completely misrepresented himself throughout his entire profile, he will run thru all the steps to get to open communication in order to talk with you via telephone, will probably immediately suggest for you to visit his hometown or he will visit yours, and CLAIMS to work with children's charities and is a former professional golf player. LIES. The truth is he recently was let out on probation after spending time in jail for extortion and outing of a well known Christian singer. He also has conned several companies out of money. The guy is a known con artist. Easy to find this info thru google. There are several newspapers in the Tennessee area that reported his extortion (where the crime took place and where he previously lived). The articles have the detailed info. I really hope this guy changes his ways but clearly that has not happened yet. Follow your gut and be careful. Research your dates. The reality is most of these people you are matched with are from all over the US so you are not familiar with their background. Eharmony takes zero responsibity for the lack of safety measures. Anyone can sign up and communicate with you as long as they pay!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined eHarmony just two months ago. I'm a single woman that is highly educated and makes a fantastic income. I'm athletic and care very much about eeping in shape. The site matched me with over weight and much much older people. I thought, ok, it didn't work, tried to cancell the second day of the next month (keep in mind I checked the box of only one month subscription). eHarmony refused to return the funds into my account. Then they kept sending me matches, I had to bust my butt to find a customer service number to call. When I called I was told that cancellation has many steps, just because you cancell at a first level doesn't mean that you are off the hook!! I have attached some of these complains on this page and am planning on mass emailing them to whom ever I know regardless of the fact they are single or married. Word needs to get out that this company is a total scam. Orlando, Florida
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Eharmony telephone # 800-648-9548
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I've been seperated for a about a year, so finally decided to take a chance and go to eharmony. I took the profile and answered all the questions, which took about an hour. At the end of this hour, all the while getting my hopes up for the risk I was about to take, all for nothing. I get to the end of this profile only to be told I don't qualify because I'm seperated. I don't have a problem with not meeting their criteria, but why would they just not tell you this criteria up front instead of making you waste an hour of your time.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I want to get this info out there so that hopefully people can be spared from a horrible situation. Please be aware that eharmony does nothing regarding members that lie or misrepresent themselves on their profile. Does nothing against members that are prone to violence. Does nothing against members that have extensive and current criminal records. Make it your priority to get to know your potential dates. DON'T give out personal information. DON'T agree to meet someone that has hurried thru the process to get to open communication and wants you to fly to their home town or wants to come to your home. Too fast can be a trick. DON'T send anyone money. Remember you don't know these people from Adam. Pay attention to your gut feelings. If there are inconsistencies on conversations or to answers take it as a hint that you are being fed a lie and trouble is up ahead. Eharmony's subscriptions are expensive so you'd think they did a better screening process. You have to take this long test and then your matches don't really match what you are looking for. It's a shame. There are alot of people out their really looking for their soul-mate but not that easy to find thru this service. Most of the matches are from towns you've never heard of so you don't know who you are dealing with. I can't stress enough that it's up to you. Eharmony has the safety advise before going into open communication and that's as far as their responsibility goes. I don't want to trash the site just simply became aware of these ploys and want consumers to go into this with their eyes wide open and especially want to prevent someone from getting hurt. Hope this helps.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I don't understand eharmony's matching system. I joined for 3 months and had over 150 matches from all over the United States though I specified I was only interested in men that live no more than 60 miles away. I had a height requirement and that was ignored too. What can possibly be said about the lack of pictures or the ones posted. I can't believe 29 dimensions on a test matched me with these men. Something is terribly wrong with the testing standard. I finally did have open communication with an immature, insecure, down right nasty psycho criminal who turns out completely lied on his profile and is currently on probation for extortion and is nothing more than a con artist looking for the next con. LADIES BEWARE!! Eharmony doesn't care about that. Dr. Warren has all these safety standards on the site yet doesn't stand behind them. Please google search anyone you might be meeting prior to any date. Be smart and stay safe!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Caveat Emptor, Spend the 250 on booze or flowers, much better return.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Let me save you some time in scrolling down the complaints. 1. Individuals whose credit card was charged against their stated wish not to continue - Valid. Take it up with your credit card company and protest the charges. 2. Individuals receiving matches from inactive members who will never respond to a request to communicate - Valid. Believe it or not, eHarmony not only admits to this practice but defends it. You think you have ten matches but you really have none. 3. Individuals unhappy with the matches that they receive - Invalid. Somewhere they read that they were promised a rose garden by eHarmony - get a life.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
i got taken for 250 bucks when you sign up they make it look like you are only signing up for one month for 20 dollers not you are signing up for 12 moths for 250 dollers and you can not get a refund no matter what you do and so far the service has done nothing for me i would be better off going to a bar spending 50 dollers on drinks to get her drunk bottom line dont use e harmony it is a scam
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
LADIES IF YOU START WRITING TO A JD FROM NY, NEW YORK. CLICK OFF QUICKLY. HE SCAM ME OUT OF 300 DOLLARS AND TRIED HIS DARDNESS TO GET 450 MORE. HE CLAIMS HE IS IN AFRICA NEEDS MONEY FOR HIS SON MARK, WHO GOT HURT AND IS IN HOSPITAL. YES I KNOW I AM A FOOL, BUT I DID GET PRETTY RED ROSES. BIG DEAL. HE GOES BY THE NAME JOSEPH E MARTINS, AND HAS YOU SEND MONEY TO HIS SO CALL DRIVER EARNEST OPOKU WIAFE OF KANESHIE ACCURA GHANA. HE NOW HAS PICTURES OF ME AND MY CHILDREN, I AM VERY WORRIED BY THIS. THANKS E HARMONEY. I REALLY NEEDED THIS PROBLEM. ITS TIME E HARMONEY STARTS DOING A BETTER JOB IN WEEDING OUT THE BAD PEOPLE, IF THEY WANT TO STAY IN BUSINESS. PS JD ALSO GIVE YOU A FALSE ADDRESS, AND CELL PHONE NUMBER THAT DOESNT WORK. HE IS AVERY GOOD SCAM ARTIST.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I signed up for eharmony for one year. Eleven days later I met someone outside of eharmony so I canceled my subscription. Eharmony will NOT refund and of the unused subscription. I expected them to keep one months worth of my money but they are keeping ALL of it.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
1. Their magazine opt-out policy requires you to pay $10 when you join for a magazine, or choice, of magazines. If you do not want any magazines, they offer a rebate coupon that must be mailed in. I mailed my in 2 months ago and still no rebate. Customer service consists of auto-responses. 2. I have two B.A. degrees and indicated on my questionaire and in my profile statements that education is Very Important to me. The last straw was a "match" who could not even spell her own occupation: "cachier" (sic). Again, customer service consisted on autoresponses references to "29 dimensions" (seems to be their magic phrase)and the endlessly repeated insipid advice to expand geographic area. If I collected "matches" like stamps, I would include the whole Solar System, but that's not really the point, is it? The whole setup is a simple database sorting program which often makes major gaffes: for a month I was getting extremely Christian or spiritual "matches" even though I clearly indicated that I was not interested in anyone with strong spiritual beliefs. Upon complaint, they "corrected" this oversight. My feeling is that the search parameters are so obscure that they permit automatic widening whenever the subscription is about to run out. They have little or no interest in true customer service and are aimed at "lowest common denominator" matching, which my mother could do.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
On August 12, I started corresponding with a "Mark" from Bakersfield (Mark Williams) at E*Harmony. Couple of days later, he wanted to chat on IM. We continued to chat on IM for about 2 weeks and during which time, he professed "strong" feelings for me and progressed to "he loves me"!!! Of course, red flags were going off all over the place. He later said, he had this huge contract and leaving for Ghana to buy gold; when he arrived in Ghana, he said he broke his laptop and would I send him one! (Like yeah, I'll just jump on that one real quick...) Of course I said no. Well, he's pretty ballsy - if I couldn't get him a laptop, would I buy him a cell phone and had the audacity to send me the link for the expensive $600 phone he wanted...(Okay, so I'll jump on that one real quick too...NOT!!!!)...I finally told him, F**K off and don't contact me again. Then he IM me after days of no contact...one last ditch effort to scam....saying he had been so sick after I "dumped" him and that he finally decided to return to the states to see me. But, he proceeded to ask if I could do him a favor....hmmmmm....here it comes....he need "FUNDS" to pay the hospital and that he used up all money to buy the ticket to see me. OK! So, does this shit really work for some women? Cause really, that would just be sad!!! SO WOMEN/MEN, BEWARE!!!! No normal people fall in love without meeting....if someone is sweet talking you, after a couple of days after chatting and they tell u they're leaving the country for a huge job in Africa, listen to your red flags. Here are some of the similarities among the 4 guys that tried their scam...and FAILED: 1) they just got a huge contract to either buy gold, do construction of bridges/roads 2) they're leaving for Africa or its surrounding cities 3) they say they're from the US but when u talk to them, POOR accent and grammar 4) usually single parent 5) professes strong feelings, love, etc. 6) after a couple of days, starts calling you "baby", "sweetie", and tells u "take care of yourself for me"??? then finally, tells u this sudden emergency like lost wallet, or short in funds, etc. HELLO.....DON'T FALL FOR IT. No one should be asking you for money or ANYTHING. Just want to share this with you...There has to be a HUGE African/Nigerian scam going on out there. Don't give out any personal information. The scam is happening in all online dating sites - eharmony, match.com, etc.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I figured I would try the online thing one last time. So, I made a free profile on eharmony. I did not get one single match for about 2 weeks. I decided to subscribe for one month, so I could see pictures of members and low and behold I suddenly had all kinds of matches! Scam #1. Next, I only found one person that I had open communication with. This guy seemed really nice, and he was in the UK finishing up a program. He said he was sick and was very convincing. So, stupidly I sent money...let's just say...I am in idiot. However, I caught on pretty quickly and stopped the nonsense. For the money we spend on the subscription to eharmony, they should do background checks on these people. Whomever created eharmony should be sued and put out of business.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I didn't expect much and was proven right. I live at the east coast and my first contact was from Alaska.Unfortunately I traveled to meet a man who had TOTALLY misrepresented himself in his profile. I wonder whether any other women ever had contact with someone from Florida who is strong on aol greeting cards. I would be very interested to hear from you to compare experiences. topnotch555@hotmail.com
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I wanted to join eharmony.did the whole fill out the survey and everything.... but. i am separated with absolutely no chance of ever getting back together.. he has moved on as have i... but yet i am still considered "married" just because i don't have a piece of paper saying i am no longer married, should be no reason why "Eharmony" should deny me ... that site sucks..... companion my ass
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
this and all dating services were all a pharse,,,,to find someone..guess you must be introduced and go from there,,all that I correspondence with were not what they appear on their bio. guess I will die an old maid
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have been on eHarmony for a few weeks now and it's a horrible service. I'm a physically active single person with no kids. Just about all of my matches are overweight divorcees with kids. Their dimensions of compatibility matching is beyond a joke. All I get are about 7 mismatches per day. When I search for matches it always tells me that no matches can be found at this time. The only members that you are allowed to see are the ones eHarmony provides to you. Of which you have to spend time closing out because they aren't even close to what you're looking for. If you want to join a real dating site, join Match.com. On Match you have access to their whole complete database of members and their searches give you all the members that actually meet your search criteria. Match is way better than eHarmony. I don't have any connection to Match but the people that have joined both sites know exactly what I mean. But if you're still willing to give eHarmony a try, do a google search on 'eHarmony promotional codes' which will at least save you some money from the high membership costs listed on their website.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I first joined eHarmony back in 2003 for 6 months. Received several matches, few went into open communication, but nothing beyond that. I decided to rejoin in 2006, receiving a large amount of matches. Basically the same story with one exception; I did talk with, and meet one woman, who seemed very nice. We met for dinner, and planned to meet again the following week. I phoned her twice during that week, left messages, and got no response. I later see that she had closed the match on eHarmony, with the stock "I am pursuing another relationship" answer that you can select when closing matches. It would've been fine if she had returned my calls and told me this instead of taking the coward's way out, which I thought she was above doing. When my membership came up for renewal (June 2007), I foolishly let myself be talked into filling out their questionnaire again (not done since 2003), and going in for another 6 months. Still the same old story, plenty of matches, all either not compatible with me, too far away distance-wise, or no photos posted. Customer service is a joke, but I finally got someone there to admit that they do match paying members with non-members. Also, I started getting a magazine that I didn't subscribe to, and it turns out that my info was provided for this subcription by eHarmony! I sent a complaint about this nearly two months ago to eTrust (a company which is supposed to back up eHarmony's privacy policy), but have not yet received any response or resoultion. This company should be shut down, and Dr. Warren and it's board of directors should be prosecuted for their fraudulent practices to the fullest extent of the law.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
SCAM / FRAUD I signed on with eharmony, because from what I had heard and seen, it seemed like a reputable place to meet others. I was a member for less than a month (getting quite a few matches) when one of my matched initiated the communication. He was (supposedly) from New Jersey and quite handsome. I am from Northern Michigan, but decided to get to know him anyway. We went through all the questions and got to open communication. We mainly talked through yahoo messenger, but he was willing to move to MI, as I said I would not relocate. He had quite a story as to his background, education, and employment - which made me wonder from the first. He did seem very sincere, and we finally started talking on the phone. He said he traveled alot for his work, and he dealt in diamonds and gold (fishy, eh?) So the end of May he left for Africa for work. First, he called me from Africa and said he was having a new cell phone delivered here (to my house)that he needed there for work and would I please send it on to him FedEx? Well, I checked out the cost at FedEx and it would have cost about $200.00 to send it. I am a single mom and do not have an extra $200.00 laying around - besides, if I did, I would not have sent it. I explained to him I did not have the money, but if wanted to wire some to me, I would gladly send the phone. A few weeks went by, and he didn't say anything more about the phone. Then he called and said that FedEx would be coming by my house to pick up the phone, and would I print out the Invoice and Shipping sheet off of my email he sent. I did that and gave it to the FedEx guy with the package. A couple of days later, I received a call from the man at FedEx asking me how well I knew this guy. I said I had met him through eharmony and had just been communicating with him. Come to find out, HE IS A TOTAL FRAUD!!!! He is part of an African scam ring - they get someones identity from the U.S. (that was the name, picture, etc. he used on eharmony), find someone like me to work through. Then they purchase items in the US with stolen credit cards or company cards, have them shipped to the person (me) and ask that that person ship it to them (which he promised to repay me double my cost!) They then sell it in Africa and it didn't cost them a thing. Needless to say, I was very upset! When I contacted eharmony about it, it received the usual "We're sorry you had a bad experience" email. I asked for a refund for what I have paid them, for getting me involved in a scam - NO WAY! I would not suggest anyone go to eharmony to find a person - you never know who you are really going to meet!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Hi, I am so glad to see you out there i had no idea, people had the somewhat same experience. E harmony needs to obviously do something or leave the marketplace, I know they cannot be responsible for everything. But here goes There is a posting in LaQuinta Ca that the man says he is 52 and 5'8 his name rhymes with DENT and he hs aids and is spreading it around, admitted it to a healthcare worker she then contacted the police who had a CSO contact e harmony, numerous people let e harmony know and the just sent a canned response...thank you for your information we are reviewng it!! HOW MUCH CAN THEY REALLY CARE WHEN AIDS AFFECTS ALL OF US OUT THERE!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
This actually happened. Did the eharmony thing. Met someone through the guided communication process. Then went to open communication. Talked like this for about 4 days, then decided to do the call. Talked for long periods of time for 5 days and then decided to meet. He came from Alaska, I live in Washington. All seemed well and enjoyable. Decided to make love, nice. I headed to take care of some chores and he said he was going to read his emails. I thought ok, no big deal and walked in on him reading his eharmony matches. Well needless to say he was sent on his way. I was angry at myself for being so naive. This guy as clearly a con and really good at it. I contacted eharmony and filed a complaint and explained that I took responsibility for my part,yet I thought that perhaps they needed to monitor this more closely. There response was that they were sorry with my unsatisfactory experience and left it at that. Later I realized that my computer had recorded his password info. So I looked, yes in deed, I looked. It was astounding for me to get such a slap in the face and to read the same lines that he was telling me. Also that he had just gone through a divorce 2 months prior to contacting me with a previous eharmony match. I was just amazed at the audacity of this man. I found a predator and unfortunately so may some others. They never responded to my complaint, I can only say that I woke up and am very cautious now about this entire process. Good luck out there.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Hi- I am pretty certain eharmony is one big scam. Neil Warren should do jail time for the amount of money he has taken from unsuspecting people. I have been a member of eharmony for almost two months. I received many matches and requests for communication. In spite of my personality quiz, in which I stated that physical appearance and the way people take care of themselves is *very important* to me, almost all of my matches were overweight or looked easily 10-15 years older than stated age. I am athletic and young-looking for my age. Clearly, I am not going to date someone who substantially outweighs me!!! Afte all of this frustration, I had about 4 days left on my membership when a beautiful and perfectly matched woman mysteriously arrived in my matches page. I intitaed contact and we went through every stage of communication right up to "Open communication." This took us about two days. Then everything stopped, and I received nothing else. Now, it is possible that my answers to her questions weren't satisfactory, but after two days, my membership was set expire. Fearing that I would regret not doing so, I chose to renew a membership for a second month- after having already called and cancelled. I had to wait 7 days (who waits that long in this e-driven world) to send a "nudge." Thus far it has gone unanswered. Because I never got past guided communication, I can't even be sure that I was communicating with a real person!!! I fully expect that this is where it ends. I plan to cancel my membership with eharmony and watch my cc bill like a hawk for the inevitable fraudulent charges. In the meantime, I have a membership that has a couple weeks remaining. I am just waiting to see what beautiful and perfect woman will show up in my matches within 4 days of my next expiration date. What a bunch of scam artists. "Guided communication" is euphemism for "cover-up." I hope Neil Warren rots in hell for what he is doing and I am embarassed that I helped finance those ridiculous TV commercials. If I prevent one person from joining eharmony, then I am happy.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I foolishly joined e-harmony for 6 months. I have been matched up with those who don't live in my state, recovering drug addicts, alcoholics, people who are much shorter than I am even though I specified I wanted people my height or taller.... 9 out of 10 matches don't even come close to my profile. I was told that not all matches are members, but are sent in hopes that they will become members if a member contacts them... HELLO! I find I am waiting for a response from someone who has not even joined e-harmony. Out of those I have sent communication to (over 10) maybe 2 responded. Why is this company still in business????
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I'm receiving unsolicited emails and third party offers under the eHarmony banner on a daily basis and I am not a member, have never been a member, have no desire whatsoever to BE a member and would cheerfully beat the living crap out of anyone who would own up to being one of their marketing affiliates and "partners". Is anyone else being spammed regularly by this bunch even though they've never had anything to do with them?
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined eHarmony for 3 months and received a ton of matches, over 200 to be exact but I began to question if I had been matched at all. The people I met were not into any of my interest and after a period of time I concluded that they were just sending me names of anyone in my age bracket. Just as my 3 month membership was about to expire eHarmony slaps $29.95 on my credit card without asking me if I wanted to continue. At this point I decided to keep the thing going for another month hoping fate would shine on me and I might meet someone I would like but that didn't happen. So when the next renewal came up I went to their web site and canceled. Couple weeks later I find a $29.95 charge on my credit card so I called eHarmony and the customer service rep at first told me that I was suppose to call them after I canceled online. So I ask her if there was a problem with their web site because my online cancellation should have been sufficient. Then she tried to talk me out of canceling. I told her that I had no interest so the rep told me that they would issue a refund. At this point in the conversation she put me on hold and when she came back she told me that they had changed their mind and would not be issuing a refund. Now I am pissed. So I filed a online complaint with the California Better Business Bureau and the California States Attorney's office and wrote to my local papers that accepts consumer complaints and then I called my credit card company and filed a complaint with them. 5 days later I received an email from eHarmony letting me know I would be receiving a complete refund. So anyone out there who is having a problem with eHarmony’s refund policy I suggest that they do what I did. No one should have to put up with eharmony’s crap.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I started to fill out my profile on eHarmony and even before I finished it I had a bunch of attempts to communicate with me. I complained to eharmony that I was getting these yet was not a member, and they replied they post all profiles so there would be more matches. I replied thusly: "I find this response enlightening but most unsatisfactory. Am I to understand that alleged'matches' may not even be registered users, so even if I registered and wanted to contact them, they may be able to contact me? That my profile is posted even though I am not a registered user and this gives a false impression among those shopping for a mate that I am a registered user. That non-registered users are included in matches to inflate the number of matches and give a false impression of the number of matches available? What is the justification for this deception? Among the matches sent to me, how do I know any of them are registered users-- or for that matter, any of them actually exist as people and are not phony profiles to lure me into registering? It has all the appearance of an internet scam. I feel bad for the women who sent me requests for communication (if they do exist and did send such requests)and it pains me not to respond to them, but I think it is eHarmony that is treating them shabbily. I think you should spend more time on the quality of matches and fore go this tactic of deception to inflate the quantity of matches. I am not inclined to sign on unless I know that any matches that result are legitimate."
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I was a member of eharmony for over a year. The first few weeks I seemed to get lots of matches, but no one was communicating with me, granted Im no brad pitt, but I'm your average joe. Then the matches just stopped coming, so I figured i should expand my "crietria" and I did and suddenly I was getting matches from other countries and people I had absolutly nothing in common with. I finally was able to talk to a girl that lived a mere 40 miles from me. We went on one date and she said mabye 5 words, needless to say no more dates. Over the next months I would change the settings to try and get someone normal to talk to or at least someone, anyone at all to talk to me. Some of the people I know were no longer on eharmony because I had run into them on sites such as myspace or such. Near the end of my one year I opted not to renew and I was bombarded with emails telling me that I have new matches and we'll give you this great deal, blah blah blah. so a month ago I said what the heck, what's one more month. Same results, not one person talked to me. In my closed matches I have 1325 matches that I would say 90% are bogus/fake/not active, whatever you want to call it. I just find it very frustrating that a company would treat its customers this way. Let me know if anyone finds a decent site, if there is actually such a thing out there
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I live in Michigan and during the questions I stated that distance is a major condition. So why the hell do I get matches from IL, OH, PA, IN, and even NY?
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I'm still seeing E-harmony commercials right and left on TV today even though the site hasn't been working for 16 hours now. Because of "heavy load from new memberships". Well, service the customers you have and give us a little credit. At least update the banner so we know when the site is coming back! You'd think the site is run out of someone's garage! Very amatuer!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
An absolute JOKE of a service. They tout "29 dimensions of compatibility " but these are a mere gimmick. I'm a very fit 33yr old male. Many of the "matches" that I got set up with are 300lbs plus, despite the fact that I indicated my interest in exercise/fitness on MANY places on their bogus questionnaire. Add to this the fact taht they send you EXACTLY seven or eight matches A DAY... That's a little suspect. Forget about contacting customer circus there. TWO THUMBS WAY DOWN.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
eHarmony should be reported to authorities. It should be illegal (and probably is) to take subscribers money and then not deliver because subscribers cannot get on EH's website! I have been trying to log on for most of today and just get this outrageous message that the website is not working because of heavy volume????!!! Get these folks out of business and give me a refund!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
First of all I am hoping you send these complaints to eharmony. Please do so they can fix the site. They do not pick people who are very compatible. Also they people I am matched with are so far away. They do not send many matches at all. And now they have so many new people you can't even log onto the site today. And they just give an apology message and think that is ok. I do not think they are very commited to finding matches. Moreso to making money. Thank you, k
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have been a member of Eharmony for quite some time. I renewed my membership at least twice. If you call them up, they will give you a discount. My frequency of matches is good however, I believe that they are matching me with a lot of people with trial memberships. Most women fail to respond to your messages. So far to date, I was matched to 479 women and I have met two of them. The first girl that I met, we went out once and never met again. The 2nd woman that I met "gave it up" on our first date and we never seen each other again either. The quality of some of my matches is downright horrible. Some put up crappy pictures or indicate in their profile that they have many kids. I don't think I'm going to continue using eHarmony because the women who use it are not serious about it or perhaps they are getting matched with multiple guys and they are selecting someone else over you. Shame on your Dr. Neil.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
Eharmony should automaticly stop you as soon as you click on separated to save others from spending all that time completing the survey. I was pissed off after I spent all that time for nothing. A separated person is still single. I won't recommend this site to anyone. Thanks for nothing.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
It took me hours to fill out my profile...and then there were no matches in five states. AT ALL! When one finally did drop into my inbox, he was not in anyone's mind a serious match for me. What he was....was male, my generational group, and in my geographic locale. Period! And that's the way it went all month long. I finally cancelled, with relief.
I was open about heing flexible on alternative religion, and did not want someone who was devoutly following any one path. I think they put me into "Other" category on Faith. This, I have begun to think, kicks a lot of folks out of the eHarmony dating pool.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
I found eHarmony to be a complete fraud. Very few matches were sent while I was a paying member but as soon as I cancelled and my subscription ran out, I received 7 in one day of people very close to where I live. Of course, in order to see them I had to pay again which I did not do. Then I received requests for communication from members. Hoax. They hve a racket as we can never see who the members are—only trust them that they are matching us like the old pre-arranged relationships of years ago.
The few matches I did receive appeared not to be active members. In some cases, I would receive notice of “match found”, go to the site and that person had already “closed” which made no sense at all. I truly feel they are taking our money and doing very little to earn it.
Who knows how to bring justice for this? Anyone? Where do we go from here?
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
I looked for this site because everyone deserves to know about the pathetic eHarmony process. If this site will save a few hundred people from spending money with eHarmony, that would be wonderful. Let me share my observations and experiences with eHarmony:
Not having pictures available is a huge downside to eHarmony and the delays in getting a picture sucks. What Neil wants you to believe is that hiding pictures and trusting his "29 characteristics" is more important than your own preferences.
The lists posted for you do not show any real data, rarely pictures and no real way to keep track of the communication. It is tremendously frustrating opening a profile over and over trying to find the one you remember seeing the other day.
There is little REAL info on the site, not even after you get to know potential matches. Trust Neil, his 29 ways are all you need. Education? kids? kids at home? occupation? prior marriages? religious preferences? fitness? body shape and condition? don't bother looking, it isn't there or it is only there in the most perfunctory way. Will they relocate? You have to ask, over and over.
The categories of the profile are stupid. What does it really say about the person? What secret things do your friends know that you would like to share with every total stranger we match you to? Hey, Neil, that's a good one. Most of the information of Neil's site tells you little about a person and many of the profiles hardly answer the questions anyway. What does it tell you about a site and the people who allegedly joined it if they didn't even answer the minimum amount on the questions?
And the exchanges Neil prescribes. Pathetic. Stupid and inane trite statements that everyone would say. How does that impact the sorting process? All the “Must Haves” and “Can’t Stands” nearly everyone would agree with. Let’s see, I’ll have a lying, deceiving playboy who is stingy and never showers. Right!
Finally, I decided, with 6 weeks left on my 3 months, to make sure that I did not get inadvertently renewed (and charged to my card) Beware!!!! When you elect not to renew, they shut you down. Your profile shows it is closed. There are no more matches provided. Even though you have paid for 3 months, the day you elect not to renew, kiss away the "service" Neil promised. And are there refunds? Not on your life.
And who is this "Annie" on the website home page? She is called a member. And she is cute. So why is she STILL a member after months on the website? If she can't find a match on eHarmony and "retire," does that not speak to how pathetic the site is?
I have been, over the last 10 years and between relationships, on Am Singles, Lava life, Yahoo, Spiritual Singles, Astro-singles Match and a few others. The worst one is eHarmony. Unless you are a frumpy librarian looking for a reclusive and shy mountain man afraid to ever show their pictures on the Net and wishing for Fiona and Shrek, don't bother. You will have no idea what you are paying for and no way to get your money back. At least with Match, Yahoo Personals and others, you can tell if the person is still a member or has been on site in the past year.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
My name is Dave and I live in Georgia. I joined eharmony after meeting a woman on match and having a disappointing relationship. I thought eharmony might actually work, since they seem to take the time to figure out both partners in depth. I'm a nice looking guy and I have a decent job and have a lot going for me. I starting getting responses right away. But every time I would get to the picture stage, after much time and trouble and talking, the woman would turn out to be obese and homely. I mean, some of these girls belonged in the circus. I specifically asked in my profile that the match be "very attractive by contemporary standards". You can't weigh 300 pounds and be 5 and a half feet tall and be attractive by contemporary standards. I think the women on eharmony must get a discount by the pound. It was horrible. I had about ten people that we reached the third stage or so to exchange photos, and all ten were dog ugly. I went back to match and met a beautiful girl and we are together now after about a year of dating. We're very happy.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
They accepted my application promised to find good matches, but there was non with in an hours drive. Plus most matches are dating someone, have some reason to close communication before you start any communication. Eharmony considers this a match. They only send you so many, and most of them are useless. I paid over 200.00 for a year, this is the biggest rip off I've ever encountered, USELESS! Like throwing your money down the drain!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints:
I'm one of those on eHarmony who never responded. I started with the free membership and got many many matches. I finally joined for 6 months, to try communicating with some of them. I continued getting 6-7 matches a day, every day. I couldn't keep up with them. True, the man I'm looking for may be there, but how am I going to find him if I have to go through up to 40+ matches a week? None were very close, and several closed the match because of distance...or because I didn't respond. I got at least one that I'm sure was a scammer...the day I got him as a match I also had an email that he wanted to fast track things. I knew nothing about him, but he sent a message asking me to email him at yahoo because his membership was about to expire. After only a month, I've set my account to not notify me about matches, to not renew when the 6 months is up...the site just isn't for me. I guess I'll have to see what my co-workers come up with...they've decided to start a search for me. Should be interesting.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
EHarmony is totally unethical. I met a guy and we started dating. I found out later that he totally misrepresented himself on the web site and when I confronted him about it and other things, he became angry screamed at me and physically came after me as if he was going to attack me. I have never been so scared in my life. I really thought this guy was going to kill me (an he is suppose to be a minister). I emailed eharmony about the incident because I know that he had met other women on eHarmony before me. I told them he was dangerous and they need to remove him. They basically didn't care and told me the incident was unfortunant. This happened like 6 months ago. I logged on during a free open communication weekend and I noticed that he is still on there because he has updated his profile and pictures. This site doesn't care about saftey or matches, they just want the money. After the incident I was too scared to try to meet someone else.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I only wish I had seen this site before "rejoining: eharmony. I was encouraged to join by a friend who met her husband on eharmony and to be honest, I met someone within the first month. He turned out to be a jerk, so I continued to be a member. I responded to at least 100 "matches" and never got a response back. I wasn't closed out though. Now I know that most of these are probably expired members - what a sham! I ended my membership and kept getting matches. I was suspicious as to why my profile was still up but then got a message that someone had taken the first step. Although I knew in my gut something was wrong with this, I let myself get suckered into rejoining. Of course, it was no coincidence that at the same time I received a message from a match, I also received an email from eharmony asking me to join with a much more attractive subscription fee. The "mystery match" appeared to live just a few miles from me and we got to level 3 when the "match" suddenly closed me out and the reason was "I think the physical distance between us is too far." How could this be when he supposedly contacted me first and only lives a few miles away. That's when I realized it was probably a phoney match set up by eharmony to entice me to rejoin. (and of course, there was no picture of the match, confirming for me this was a phoney) I am only sorry I didn't listen to my gut and let myself get suckered in. I'm no fashion model but I am smart, funny, literate and nice looking so there is no reason in four months that I couldn't even get to another level with more than 1 person. I feel like such a fool and am telling this story so others don't fall into the scam of eharmony. I'm not saying that they never make a legitimate match (my friend is proof they do) but I think they are few and far between and they definitely use fraudulent practices to get your money. You have way more chances of meeting someone by just going out and being social. Dr. Warren should be ashamed of himself. Frankly, I have tried other sites as well and they are not much better although eharmony is definitely the worst so far.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
they stole my money and will not give it back they said they didnt care if I cancled it after only hitting the send button.. I am getting my money back.. these people are a bunch of theives!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I also paid for the "discounted" three months of service...Well for the past month not only am I not connected with any people who really match my profile---But half the time the website will not let me even LOG IN! I tried to contact customer service, with no luck and tried to email but the webpage that it sounds me to says there is an error on that page. Eharmony needs to pay back all its customers because this is just ridiculous. I'm essentially paying for NOTHING!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I went to eHarmony because of the so called results on the television and I had one man that I was able to talk to. With all the money that we pay for the internet "Hitch" we should get some kind of a result, but I didn't get one. I would send questions that would stay unanswered. They said satisfaction guarenteed, but there is no satisfaction after about three months. I really thought they would help me with a relationship, but all I have now is a bigger sence of doubt in love.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
i signed up for the 3 months of service (to save $ - oops), thinking i'd try it for that long, give it a real shot. not happy with the service before 1 month is up, wanted a partial refund. couldn't find anything about refunds on the eharmony website directly (no surprise), but customer service is quick to say no refunds (after 7 days). that's over $100 for 1 month of service. I've sent a complaint to the Better Business Bureau (eHarmony's in Pasadena, CA, FYI). I would suggest that anyone on this site fire off a complaint too. Really make them pay attention.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
They refused to remove my profile despite the fact that I cancelled my membership and kept the $. I even had two months left to paid for. I just wanted to wash my hands of eharmony. They will not tell me why it is so important to keep my information on file.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Overcharging relative to the amount quoted over the phone. The system times out without notice thus causing one to lose a painstakingly crafted communication. No weight info about matches: one can communicate through various stages only to learn later that the "match" fails to fit screening criteria. Nearly impossible to voice complaint or suggestion for improved service and meaningless automated e-mail responses when Q.s submitted via its website.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I spent 10 minutes scanning the complaints & found most without merit. These dealt mainly with automatic renewals & poor matches. Folks, no one promised you a rose garden at eHarmony. It's buyer beware! One very valid complaint centers on including inactive members in the match pool-dead wood as I like to call them. As you can imagine, eHarmony does not disclose this information upfront at the time of subscription. When confronted they are remarkable in portraying this fact in a "positive" manner. They are remarkable in the way they use this deceptive practice as a selling point. It is bad because they now have your money. But maybe a fair exchange for another life's lesson learned the hard way.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
eHarmony states they do use pictures to physically match. I am highly insulted with the matches I have been sent. And they allow people to write why they don't won't to communicate, most people on this site are having a hard time dating or they wouldn't be on it. It seems to me they could leave off letting you know someone wasn't intrested, kind of a slap in the face. I would like my money refunded. Beverly Thomas bjbt2007@gmail.com
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
The first time I signed up with them the only "matches" they sent were in other States 1,200 miles away. I called e.harmony at the end of three months and was told maybe it was because my "profile" had been done a long time previously. I made the big mistake of signing up for another month (plus a "free" month), re-did the whole profile. I have not received a single new match from them. We need a class action lawsuit against this company. I have just seen the hundreds of complaints against them on this site.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I gave up on eharmony, total waste of money. They are no better than Yahoo, or any of the others. People forget the computer, go out and see the real world!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have been a member for 6 months, and not 1 match. I tried to cancel the balance of the contract, and was told no. I did everything they asked. I added pictures, I added more about me, but the matches were from far away, or never responded to questions. I was told that they even try to match you to people no longer online just to show they can match you. It is a joke.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Lisa of Canton GA (04/26/07) Had specific questions that were not addressed in their help. I sent an email to customer service and received the same generic email back 8 times. I am so glad I did not give them any of my money. Will of Ewa Beach HI (04/25/07) False advertising. My matched dates are all overweight, overly obese persons. I need to cancel my last two months but not allowed to. Chris of Altamonte Springs FL (04/24/07) I signed up for one month at eHarmony and opted [in a check box] to only do one month and decide later if I wanted to do it again. One day after the month was up, I noticed a debit on my bank account for $50+. Knowing there was a mistake I called and tried to resolve the matter w/ eHarmony. I was reassured that since it was less than 24 hours since the debit posted and I had called that it would be refunded. BUT I first had to submit a letter in writing by smail mail. I asked why I could not do it by email and they did not have an answer. This is where is began to get fishy. After a week goes by, I receive my we apologize but cant give your $ back letter. I called and asked to receive a receipt of my confirmation to have automatic deduction. We cannot provide you with that information sir. I asked to speak with the person in charge of refunds and they said it was the person who responded to my written letter. Ok, I said. Ill talk to her. She does not respond to phone calls sir. Can I have her email address? No, she will contact you. I mentioned that I am very uncomfortable operating like that and asked to speak with her supervisor. She does not have one! Lanora of Duluth GA (04/24/07) I just received my bank statement and much to my surprise eHaromny withdraw money from my account without my authorization. I spoke to customer service representatives who advise me that there was an auto renewal button on the page in which I purchased (the one month subscription). I did not see at the time of purchase. A one month subscription mean just that (one month). I purchased this option to see if this was something I would be interest in pursuing. If I intended to continue on with the subscription I would have selected another package option other than what I choose. Sharon of Austin, TX (04/17/07) I completed the profile as required to join. Their terms of service specifically stated that I had three days to change my mind. On the second day, I phoned them and said I wanted to cancel and was doing so within their 3-day time frame. Unfortunately, I mentioned to the customer service person that I had tried them a couple of years ago. He asked me a few questions to assist him in locating the old account and once he found it, he told me that I did not qualify for a refund because I had had a prior account. I pointed out their terms and conditions clearly stated that if I cancelled within three days, I had no obligation, etc. and it certainly did not mention anything about a prior account disqualifying me from any refund. I asked the guy where it was written in their terms and conditions, but he just kept saying it was their policy. I demanded to speak to a supervisor. "Adam" was a real pro at saying "NO, it's our policy". I have contacted my credit card company to have the charge reversed and am still waiting on that possibility. Russ of Leesburg, VA (04/07/07) I think this service is horrible. I have gotten no matches and out of all the messages I sent out, I have gotten no replies because either they aren't paid members, or have not used the site in years. The only contact I made off this site was a scammer claiming to be from Africa. Tj of Beverley Hills CA (04/03/07) I signed up for a free one-week trial with e-harmony. I found that I didn't like the quality of matches I was receiving so I canceled the subscription within the week time frame. When I signed up, I used the Bill me Later option. Lo and Behold, one month after signing up, I received a bill for the services. I called up Bill me Later and they strongly recommend I pay the bill (no way!) while I dispute it with eharmony. No way. After quite a search I finally found the eharmony phone number. I explained that I signed up for a free trial and then canceled. The representative said, we show that you signed up for a free trial AND purchased a subscription at the same time. What!? How is that possible? I signed up for a free trial and was required to either give my credit card information or the Bill Me Later sign up. I had no other choice and she's making it out to be my fault. I was on the phone for 20 minutes with them before they finally agreed to refund the money. So let's review: I signed up for a free week trial for which they require credit card number or sign up with Bill Me Now. I cancel within the time period. They then claim that I signed up for a subscription at the same time I signed up for the free trial. (what!?) They tried to say they would not refund the charge. Though I finally got the charge reversed, I think that's a highly, highly deceptive business practice and I certainly won't be using them ever again. The EHARMONY CUSTOMER SERVICE number is 800-263-6133. It is impossible to find on their website and difficult to find on the web. Richard of Rockford IL (04/01/07) I logged on to eharmony for less 10 minunits then canceled out. I now have a bill from, "bill me later" collecting service for 59.00. This is a months subscription that im not getting or using. Brenda of San Antonio TX (03/28/07) I tried everything I could to contact them on negative surveys about how unhappy I was with the service and replying to their emails. Funny they can email me, but I can't email them. Then, just today I found they had debited my account without my permission for $29.95. This place should be investigated by the Attorney General. Samson of Seattle, WA (03/28/07) I paid $99 dollars for dating services with eHarmony.com. I am not able to access their site using my password and username. I sent them an email detailing the problem and they said they would send me an email on how to rectify the situation. It never arrived. Judy of Tulsa OK (03/20/07) My kids gave me a 6 month subscription to eharmony.com for Christmas wanting me to find love again. I enrolled in January and by February knew it wasn't worth it since I found out they give people 3 to 7 free days and they send those people to you as matches and because they haven't paid they never can respond so you have 99% who don't every respond to you. After a friend showed me your site and I read all the others problems I decided to call and ask for the remaining money returned and cancel my subscription. I was told that Eharmony was a Merchant and if I had bought a TV and tried to send it back they couldn't take it back. I tried to tell them they were a service and not a Merchant but any argument I made they had a canned response to it. So I am stuck with it until my 6 months are up and then I will report them to everyone I can find and even make a report on TV to help others not make the same mistake. My advice is to never pay ahead because no matter how many months you sign up for they will not refund money after 3-7 days and make sure if you want to cancel you do it in writing. If I could have gotten the money back for the unused portion I would have been able to go to match.com and try them. Steven of Muskegon, MI (03/15/07) Sign up for a one month subscription but eHarmony continued to take money out of my account when I did not authorize. I e-mailed them three times to correct the problem, they never responded. A totalof $149.85 was taken out of my account. I could not find a phone number to contact them. I have tried several times to e-mail them but there was no response! Brittany of Columbia SC (03/08/07) I signed up for a 1 month subscription. I was then billed for the following two months. Once I caught on that I was being billed I called and asked for a refund stating that I had not accessed the site for the two months I was billed because I did not know I was still a subscriber. The representative quickly stated he would not be able to refund my money but offered a free month subscription. My question is why would they offer a free subscription but not refund my money. Kathy of Fond Du Lac WI (03/05/07) I joined eHarmony for 3 months. After this 3 month period I wanted out because of the quality of matches I was receiving. I had indicated on my subscription form during month 2 that I did NOT want to be automatically renewed. At the end of my subscription time I was automatically renewed for another month. My profile is still there. I have tried to cancel my profile and delete it but I still get e-mail messages from men on the service who want to communicate with me. Now, I can't find any phone number to call to try and rid myself of this site. I would never in my life go onto this site again. Michael of Punta Gorda FL (03/02/07) Eharmony makes matches with people that are not members. They do this by getting you to complete an eharmony profile but if you decide not to make payment and join, they still match you with other paying members. How do I know this? I completed the Eharmony profile but never did join. I continued to get emails for weeks with matches that they had made between me and other members. Of course, I could not respond to the matches or requests to communicate with other members. The poor Eharmony members are matched every day with nonmembers that can not answer or participate in the matches. I emailed eharmony and asked them why they do this and of course never received an answer. Terri of Richmond, VA (03/01/07) I signed on for 1 month on January 14th but they automatically debited my bank for another month. I located a telephone number and when I called on February 18th I was informed that my money would be refunded. When the money was not replaced in my account, I called and was referred to their documentation and an email they sent which totally misrepresented the telephone contact of 2/18. They denied stating that my money would be refunded and informed me that I would have to correspond via snail mail because email is not reliable, it gets lost. They took $49 without my permission. That is minor when compared to the psychological damage associated with the poor quality of their matches and the lack of follow--through by the ones received. Keith of Port St. Lucie, FL (02/26/07) I signed up and paid for a one-years service with Eharmony in July of 2006. In November, the account would not accept my password so I was no longer able to access my account . After many emails with no response, I was able to track down a phone number (which was no small task). After speaking to someone who verified my account was unused, I was told I had to respond, in writing, to get a refund. Of course, the trusting person I am, I typed a letter and sent it certified - no response. I have paid for a service that was not provided for the length of the agreement. Susan of Plainfield IL (02/25/07) I have asked on numerous occasions for my Eharmony membership to be cancelled and they continue to charge my credit card. When I try to log on to contact them, my password does not work and the link to retrieve my password doesn't work either so I can't get in to the site. Caryn of Raytown MO (02/21/07) Because I'm shut in, I wanted to meet people over the internet. I joined eHarmony January 07. Being on fixed income, I was hesitant, but decided to try it a month. It was never possible to respond to people, not that there were very many. I never had an exchange with anyone! I began emailing them over and over again to close my membership. This went on for several weeks, with no acknowledgement. It's virtually impossible to contact them. They billed me for a second month on February 15, 07! I've received 2 emails from them, referring to my membership as though I still have one. I cannot afford this, but I have no way to stop them!! I receive very little each month in Disability, I'm unable to generate income, it's been extremely stressful, my health is not good, and this mental aggravation is not helping my condition. Alida of Fayetteville NC (02/19/07) They advertised a free weekend to communicate, but fail to provide a working site on the last day. So naturally everyone who finally got some kind of connection started, cannot answer back. What a cheap trick to get more subscriptions Misrepresentation and fraud. Failure to provide the service advertised heavily on many TV stations and on their own site. Judy of Duluth MN (02/19/07) They advertised a Free weekend to communicate with matches so I registered (lengthy process,time consuming) and sent the first questions to three nice guys. But, eHarmony does not let you go right to an email with a match, they keep you going through these computer-generated steps. Eharmony is very tricky and does not let you actually do any communicating during this FREE weekend, nor do they let you see any photos of matches. It is all rigged to get you to spend $60 for a MONTH of matches. Now, the frustrating thing is that I also Closed communication with about 6 others for a variety of reasons. Here is the sneaky part of eHarmony: Even though I Closed communication with these 6 matches, eHarmony sends me an email saying 2 of these closed matches want to communicate with me. So, I go to the Closed folder and lo and behold to reopen these files requires me to PAY. Ironically, the three matches I sent (supposedly) questions to have not responded at all. What do you bet they have never gotten my message or eHarmony is holding their responses until moments before the Free time is up so that I join and pay their totally unreasonable fees? I am delighted that I have not, nor will I, send one penny to this organization, it is a complete rip-off. I have sent eHarmony four emails about their bogus service. I have not lost money, but I have spent lots of time and felt lots of frustration about this. Thanks for having a place for me to announce to the world what a sham eHarmony is, that is a great satisfaction for me. Ed of Jeffersonville IN (02/14/07) I got on line with eHarmony to find a lady to meet. I paid the money for a half year up front. I told eHarmony that I wanted matches within 25 miles and they only sent me one, all the rest have been over 100 miles and not even what I was looking for. I have not heard from eHarmony at all for 2 weeks. They should return my money. Annie of Deptford NJ (02/01/07) I joined eHarmony and found them to be useless, sending me people who did not match my profile. I cancelled, but yet still receive matches from them who still do not match me. They say to contact them via email to stop them from sending me information, but I cannot get their site. They keep sending me a form to rejoin and I keep deleting it, but that doesn't stop them. I think it's unfair to their members for them to send them my name when I don't belong. Mary of Grawn, MI (01/31/07) I signed up for e-harmony for six months. After one month I realized that the matches were incompatible, halfway across the country, or obviously bogus. One was downright obscene, and I signed up for Christian matches. When I complained, they suggested posting a photo, which I did. Still nothing. After a month of non-matches (one match was 15 years older than me!) I asked to cancel my subscription and get a refund. E-harmony said it has a 3-7 day cancellation policy and that's it. They do not have a refund policy. Nowhere in their literature does it say "no refunds", and I read every line. They charged my credit card and can now refund my card for the unused services for five months. Kim of Winston-Salem NC (01/24/07) I signed up for an eHarmony subscription and paid in advance for one year. Since I have been a member they have sent unsuitable, unattractive, unresponsive and otherwise worthless matches to me. People I have clearly no compatibility with, many too far away from me, many who never respond in any way. I have called to complain and have spoken to several people expressing my dissatisfaction since I started the subscription, in addition I have e\mailed them several times only to get canned e-mail responses. Today, after having no matches for a long time I called the customer service department to ask for a refund. I got a complete run around and was told by two customer service reps that they had no way to issue a refund. The only suggestion was to write a snail mail to someone named "Louise" whose last name and phone number they would not give. This company is just plain bad, taking peoples money and giving very poor value in return. I want a refund. Janice of Portland ,OR (01/16/07) I signed up for one month and paid by PayPal. I was thoroughly dissatisfied with eHarmony and ceased using the account within the month. At the beginning of the next month, they withdrew another $59 from my PayPal account, completely without my authorization. I contacted eHarmony on the day of the transaction and asked them to refund the amount, but did not hear anything from them. I waited about two weeks, contacted them again, and received a letter stating that I needed to contact them within 7 days and that they would not refund the $59. Beware, of eHarmony. I suggest you try match.com for a fraction the price and a thousand times the results. Ann of Thomasville NC (01/14/07) I signed up for a FREE trial, tried to cancel. I was talked into accepting another free trial, which I accepted...not KNOWING how devioius these people are. I cancelled ONLINE and I called AND it said my card would not be charged. It was. As a matter of fact it was charged from day one. They gave me a hassle said no refund too bad etc. etc. Said the date was past YET I did cancel ONLINE in plenty of time. Why else would it say that my card would NOT be charged? Someone should take care of this company once and for all. Its ridiculous to have this many complaints and yet they can still operate. They charged my card 59.99 dollars. Deborah of Syosset NY (01/11/07) I am trying to cancel my subscription. The quality of what they are sending me as matches are trash. there is no phone number to contact them or address to write to them. I sent an e-mail stating I wanted my subscription canceled and asked for confirmation of this and still no answer and they keep sending me matches. I asked them to please do not send me any more e-mails regarding matches and they still are e mailing me. Christine of Schenectady NY (01/10/07) On Friday, 11/24/06 I signed on to a free weekend that e-harmony was having. I did not get any matches until Monday ll/27/06, which in order to respond I had to join. I joined on that day and within one day I had more than 20 matches that kept on coming for two weeks. I never thought that this site, which was a considerable amount of money, would send MATCHES THAT WERE COMPLETELY OPPPOSITE OF ANY OF THE QUESTIONS THEY ASKED FOR MATCHING PURPOSES. All of my matches were very far from my home,i.e., Canada, Connecticut (@20), New Jersey (@10), Vermont and many more. Julie of Langhorne, PA (01/07/07) I joined eharmony.com and was billed $170 on December 28. I tried to cancel my membership after seeing the type of matches they were sending me. Eharmony.com makes it very difficult to cancel, plus they do not clearly state their refund policy. Since it had been about 10 days instead of 7 they said they couldn't refund me ANY of the money. Their phone number is no where to be found on their website. Kristina of Las Cruces NM (12/31/06) I signed on for a free 7-day trial, after taking a fairly astute personal evaluation. Within 5 days I received some shocking matches (clearly, questions about ethics, morals, and politics outside of sex should have been included in the survey). The men in my age range that seemed decent all wanted to raise Christian children--not an immediate goal of mine, which I had clearly stated. Also, they were remarkably unattractive. There was nothing on which to build conversation. I called to cancel and was offered several months' extension instead. At that time, I thought, Why not? Now I know why: matches made who 1) never contact, 2) never reply, 3) reply only to bypass eharmony, 4) matches who, damn, are unattractive. Compatability certainly includes things like facility with language and ability to use grammar. "you're pretty" doesn't do anything for me. I met lots of the lower crust. It was miserable, and I lost money. After several months of loneliness, I heard a commercial for a free 7-day amnesty, free connection. However, the print was sooo tiny and obscure, there was no way of knowing that anyone who had ever received a prior incentive (in order to keep the female stock pond full, I suppose) was not eligible for the free 7 days, so I was chargred another $60 odd. This second go around, I spoke to NONE of them. I think the matches were made soley based on location. it actually hurt my heart that I ever had anything to do with them. I regret it every time I think of their company, and I wish to warn EVERYONE away--be alone and desperate but KEEP YOUR MONEY. They have money of mine I could have so put to better uses. it's a sincere regret. David of Baker FL (12/06/06) EHARMONY CUSTOMER SERVICE 800-263-6133 Bea of Ukiah CA (11/24/06) I have tried and tried to cancel my account with Eharmony but each month the re-new my account for one month. Please, I just want to cancel with out any hassel. Eharmony just wont let go. Ill never do business with them again. Another thing at the end of my contract is the only time they find a match for me. Just Close Judith of Covington GA (11/17/06) I joined free on a promotional ad, and paid for a month and stated to not renew automatically. They did anyway and when emailed a complaint to the customer service dept. They said we can't refund, but we will give you a month free, however at the time my month free shoud have starte thay cancelled my membership for lack of payment. The whole experience was such a rip-off. They matched me with a lot of men, but not a one answered my questions. I have two girlfriends who joined at the same time I did and they matched us up with the very same guys and they never responded to either of them either. I want my money back, but now I can't even get them to answer my emails. They sould be investigated. Richard of Brunswick GA (11/13/06) I made a mistake taking their free? matching profile.. When I tried to fix the mistakes, I was told that the original profile taken by me was almost impossible to change. After checking the charges (very high) for monthly rates, etc and the already complaints I just read, it seems that I just happened to luck out. So now I will just stay away from the EHARMONY.COM company. Kate of Collegeville PA (11/06/06) Had been client of eharmony.com for about 3 years. Subscription ran out and I renewed for one month. Then renewed again. Decided to let subscription run out. When I originally subscribed, I had set account to NOT auto-renew. Have just found out they auto-renewed my account and charged my credit card for highest monthly rate without my written permission. When I looked at the Account Settings page, there is now no option to indicate whether or not I want to auto renew. After I made written complaint and demand for refund, was told that now account will not auto-renew and that no refund would be made. There is notation on my Account Settings that account will not re-new but there is still no means for me to choose renewal option. This is very deceptive billing practice and I'm filing complaint with appropriate gov't regulatory agency. Robert of Dayton OH (11/04/06) I've contacted eharmony via e-mail for the past three months, asking their assistance in cancelling my membership, but have had NO RESPONSE from them. But they find it convenient to e-mail me to advise that they've just renewed my membership for another month. If I DON'T HEAR FROM THEM WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK, I WILL SEEK LEGAL ASSISTANCE TO CLEAR THIS MATTER! Mary of Fort Wayne IN (10/03/06) I joined eHarmony on a special 3-month deal. After joining, I received only one match. The match did not meet my distance criteria (the match was located 1-1/2 hours away). I inquired as to why I received this match and they couldn't answer my question directly. The just gave me their canned email and verbal response when I later called, that they match on zip code and, that if the person they matched me with entered an invalid zip code, it could match with me. Nobody would take the time to find the exact cause for the mishap, and I was told that the match counted as one of the three guaranteed me for my 3-month trial. I found their customer service rather rude and not understanding. Also, they would let me speak to a supervisor. I had to send my issue through snail mail to receive more attention. Bottom line, after no valid matches, I tried to get my money back to no avail. I went through all of their hoops try to get someone to look at my situation, but there was no willingness to give me any special attention. I complained through the Better Business Bureau but with no success. They ended the stream of emails with a lie that I received three matches. (The other two matches were before I joined!) However, my credit card company was my hero. They credited my account the $60 I was charged by eHarmony and eHarmony closed my account. Carmen of Winter Park FL (10/02/06) On September 4th 2006, decided to join the ehormony program. Not too long after I had an email forwarded to me to let know that there was no match for me. I thought about it for a couple of days and then decided that I did not wanted to be part of it. I sent an email immediately advising them to please cancel my membership. I have done everything posible to get my money back and I've not been able to get anywhere with them. That is $203.40 that I could have used for something else . Heck, with that money I can take myself on a date :) Jason of Houston, TX (10/01/06) I believe eHarmony is throttling matches to their users, as matches are only sent when it's time to collect membership fees. I signed up for my free trial membership. I received no matches until the trial membership was nearly at the end. I signed up for a three month subscription after receiving one match. No pictures, no response from the first match. Over the past two months I slowly received 24 matches, about two at time. But, very few matches provide pictures or even respond. I cancelled my subscription early within my second month. My match settings in my account were automatically set to no. I did not change this. I reset to yes and changed my credit card information to prevent auto-renewal. I still had over a month of service that I had paid for and will not be refunded. I log in from time to time and not a single match has been sent since. I'm curious that eHarmony may have been matching me with trial users who have never paid their memberships - Those users without pictures maybe? Maybe if eHarmony forced users to respond with their matches, even if with a closed message, within a certain time period the system may seem more productive. Christine of Washington, DC (09/29/06) I signed up for a 7-day risk free trial, by registering for a 3-month subscription (total cost $110) with the understanding I could cancel within this time for a full refund. After only a few days, it was very clear that this was a waste of time. I received a lot of matches, but none of them communicated--or they communicated for 2 stages and closed. I had much more success with other sites so I cancelled online and received a notice that I was eligible for a refund. I called the number they gave, was on hold for over 30 minutes, and then was told I couldn't cancel because I had previously been a member (for something like 2 months three years ago). Nowhere was this ever mentioned in their ads, though they claim it's in their policies I don't ever remember seeing it. Rober tof Fredricksted, U.S. Virgin Islands (09/22/06) Credit cards are held by eharmony.com in violation of territorial laws, and the USVI is the jurisdiction for resolution of the matter when there is a violation of this sort. No person or corporation or entity shall hold personal credit card information for longer than the time period of an initial transaction, subject to fines and imprisonment. [USVI code 487.3.2b] The decision by e-harmony.com is violative of laws of commerce relative to the territorial laws of government; cease action or fines begin upon the date of the initial contract or agreement but do not exceed 10,000 USD. Lynne of Mt. Laurel NJ (09/18/06) I signed up for the 7 day free trial membership of which they ask for your credit card immediately. I canceled the 7 day membership with 3 days left. I then sent an email to confirm that I had cancelled and expected not to be charged for any services. I did not receive a response and I was charged $110.85 on my Visa card. I sent another email and looked for a phone number to call them. I did not get a response from my email and I could not find a phone number for them anywhere. Something should be done about a company who uses underhanded tactics such as this to get rich! $110.85 to date. Not sure if any more charges will be added. I am a little concerned now that they have my credit card inforamtion. Derek of Virginia Beach, VA (09/08/06) I signed up for 1 month service, that I thought was very poor so I logged on my site to cancel or NOT auto-renew. I balanced my checkbook today and noticed they had taken another $50 from my account. I called and they said I accessed my account the day after the one month period. How could one access an account when it was supposed to be cancelled? I told the rep I had not even used it and then she offered me a free month. I told her I didn't want a free month and that I didn't want or even use the last month. Where is the law to protect peoples accounts? Stephanie of Riverside, RI (08/14/06) E-harmony matched me to a man who is in fact MARRIED. So much for finding the love of your life! I have the e-mail in which he confesses this to me if you don't believe this, since the site pumps itself up to be a place where people looking for their soulmates go. Thank goodness I found this out before meeting in person. You would think if they make themselves out to sound like they are looking to match singles looking for marriage that they would have a screening process that takes out those already married! I have e-mailed them & gotten no response. I have also looked all over their site & even Google to try & find a customer service phone # with no luck. Christy of Moriarty, NM (08/08/06) I had problems with my computer and had to switch emails. I have checked all my accounts and can't seem to login. I have contacted eHarmony twice and have gotten absolutely nowhere. I have let them know that I do not wish to have my membership renewed, and I want it cancelled. They will not help me do this. Dia of Encino, CA (07/23/06) I signed up for eHarmony and, within 2 hours, decided to cancel since I'd found other sites I preferred. I went through the website and was instructed to call an 800- number. I was told that because I previously had an account (which I in good faith believed was closed) they would close the account if I wished but they would not refund my credit card for the $251 for the one-year membership. Y of Vancouver, Canada (07/12/06) I signed up with eHarmony in May, 2006 for a one-year-membership of $250 (3 monthly payments of $83.80). One month later, I found the services to be poor and not meeting my needs, so I decided to cancel the services. I closed my account online and emailed a customer services rep. to send me a confirmation regarding this issue. My June credit card statement shows that eHarmony has charged me $83.80 for a second installment. I emailed the company to try to resolve this issue but the response I got back was they're not able to cancel my membership and the third payment will be charged on July 18, 2006. Their refund policy is extremely vague and misleading. Their customer services rep. are not helpful at all. Courtney of Venice, CA (07/02/06) I think eharmony has false advertising. In the first paragraph of their email they promote a special offer of 3 months for the price of 1. But then, as you read, near the bottom of the page, in the second to last paragraph, it changes to 3 months for the price of 1 PER MONTH. So...it's 3 months for 3 months. Wayne of Coconut Creek, FL (05/13/06) I find this company to be very deceitful. They advertise great matches, but the ones that they sent me were anything but. I signed up to use their free 7-day trial. It did not work for me, so I tried to cancelled online but I received a message stating I had to call during business hours. The person I talked to talked me out of canceling by giving me another 7 free days. I tried it again and still wanted to cancel but this time the person I talked to was really rude and said I had gone past the 7 days trial. She said I could not get a refund and advised me to just keep using the time that I had already paid for. I told her that I was not interested in using their services but she said too bad, you are not going to get a refund. Miranda of Clarksville TN (04/18/06) I signed up for a year at eharmony.com becuase of the great "deal". I was signed up for a week and decided to cancel my services (I had a narrow distance criteria and in 6 days I had over 50 matches, to me it was too crazy and there was no way to really navigate through all that easily). It turned out that I was 8 hours past the time limit and they will not refund any of the money. I told them that they can charge me for the whole month, just not the year and they did not agree to it. I have tried numerous times to get ahold of someone and they keep telling me to write a letter, which I did and got a standard form letter back how they could not help me and that they were going to get their money, (who expects complaints in only letter in today's day?) I feel that I am getting the run around becuase they just want money. I have canceled my card and intend to report any later charges as fraudulant. In the meantime I will continue to ask Louise Guerin (Customer Relations Manager) for a solution. Yveth of Lanham MD (04/14/06) Very dissatisfied, I siged up for a month trial, payed the subsription, its been a month since, I have emailed eharmony, canceled the subscription, they have not responded to me, or returned my mony. They don't list a phone number to customer service or provide an email address to keep an open comunication. Susan of Telford TN (04/10/06) After a long time of filling out a questionaire, I was told I was rejected. Now that I have read other people's woes about the site, I am not so heartbroken. It really made me feel worse than before I answered the questions. I felt like my self-esteem was lowered to the point that I did not want to live any longer. Now, I feel better but I feel worse for the people that eHarmony did not reject. No one should be allowed to profit from someone else's misfortune. Richard of Racine WI (04/04/06) I joined E-Harmony Only to find that I have gotten only 1 name and no responce from that name in 3-Weeks. I feel that this is only a scam to receive our money. There has to be more people out there than just one. I would like to cancell my my contract and return my money. I am not pleased with the results at all. Nancy of Odum GA (03/28/06) I repeatedly received email notices to renew my eharmony account; I did not respond to renew. I received a notice they tried to renew, but were unable to with credit information I had provided - I responded I did not want to renew, they have repeatedly tried to renew since. They do not respond to my email and do not provide a phone number to call to resolve. Sarah of Plano TX (03/28/06) eHarmony set me up with a pedophile. I found this information out on my own with very little details about my match & eHarmony's response is pretty much sorry for the inconvenience. I feel violated that I now know a known sex offender and that after 20 relationship levels that the best they can do for me is set me up with a pedophile. I would love to find a legal remedy for my complaint. Sex predators and violent offenders, as well as teenagers and married folk should be considered offlimits on their website. Unfortunately only the latter two are offensive enough to be mentioned in their terms & conditions page. Carolyn of Binghamton NY (03/28/06) I have found that this site may show signs of discrimination using their one of a kind harmony profile questionnaire. If you do not answer their questions as they deem acceptable they will send you response basically saying you are not suited for their site. What seems to be the major disqualifier is if you are not "religious" you will be eliminated. I am spiritual but not at all a bible stomping religious person. The first time I filled out their profile I was honest about that, and I was dismissed. So, I tried again, this time keeping track of those questions centering around religion and convictions, there are many. I again answered them as a good spiritual person but did not commit to being the religious person they seem to prefer. Once again eliminated. I then had a friend fill it out answering the entire religious question the opposite way; she turned out to be a perfect match for eharmony. Isn't this a form of discrimination? How absolutely discouraging to have to give in and use these sites and then be dismissed by one of them! What’s even more interesting is another friend of mine, with very similar religious convictions was also eliminated until he offered to buy a membership. For an organization claiming to be good, they seem bad! P of New Brunswick NJ (03/28/06) There is basically no refund policy. Also they basically have no customer service. 100% guarantee is fraudulent in the commercials, it applies for 7 days. I figured I'd try it for a month or two, but then I wasn't getting anything out of it, so I'm opted out of auto renewing. Well at least I thought I did. When I called the number they basically tried to assist me by trying to give me an additional month of service. If you already don't want something, why would I want more of it? When I asked to speak a supervisor, they basically told me only they could. I'll be glad to get away from this website and warn everyone i know about it. I've never heard of a business operating this way and be rest assured eharmony is a business first. They do not care about people unless it helps they make more money... Juanita of Fountain Valley CA (03/25/06) My cousin Frances married Tom a couple years ago after emailing him on eharmony.com. I am emailing this on her behalf as she is devastated from this relationship with this man. At the time she met him after her husband died. This Tom has deceived her, lied to her and used all her money left by her previous husband and is now emailing other women on eharmony out of Dallas. She had to file bankruptcy because of him. She is emotionally distaught and has been told by him that their marriage will not last. He has been showing signs all along but because she was vulnerable and wanted this marriage to work she kept trying. She does not want another woman to go through what she has gone through and needs help. She will be flying home to Kansas today. He has been paying off his credit bills and not paying hers and now his credit is good and hers is bad. Michelle of Burbank CA (03/19/06) I recently joined eharmony and with great anticipation of meeting my soulmate. In their advertisement on T.V. they claim that their system is the best way to meet a perspective spouse. I gave them $59.95 for a one month membership. To date, I only received two profiles of men that were'nt suited for me. I called eharmony's customer service and they were not helpful. Presently, I feel they are giving false hopes and advertising to a vunerable audiance of genuine people. Is there a way to get my money back for services not rendered? Rob of San Diego CA (02/13/06) I spent more than an hour with their questionaire asking extremely persoanl questions as part of their "forty dollar value" personality profile. After they kept and stored this extermely personal information they sent me a messagethat I had been rejected from their service because it would be impossible for them to get a match for me. I think this borders on criminal fraud but if not it is certainly extemely rude. I'll bet the other rejects from eHarmony are very cool people. Edward L. of Las Vegas NV (02/12/06) I just recently, noticed, that they changed, my (3)month trial membership, to one year, plus there's no way to reach anybody, in there bullshit customer service dept. I've, been trying to cancel my membership, and unsuccessfully, cannot reach anybody, to do so, there server is always down! I am gonna have to close my bank account, just to have them stop, taking money out! Wendy of San Diego CA (02/11/06) I subscribed to a 3 month trial membership for eHarmony.com. About 2 months into it, I realized that it was not for me. So, I decided to cancel my membership. The website gives you instructions on how to cancel it, by logging into your account settings and choosing a "do not renew" button. I did this. However, my account remained open and when my membership was due to be cancelled, they renewed it, instead! So I thought, I'll just let this month ago. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe I am just crazy and my computer glitched and didn't allow me to cancel it. So this time, I wrote to their customer service and asked them to cancel my account. They said they would close it. I even logged onto the website, and did all that "do not renew" on my account settings again. And lo and behold, a month later, they charge me again! The only thing I could think of to do was to call my credit card company to block them. I think eHarmony.com has a glitch in their web page that doesn't allow you to cancel their membership. Another possibility is that they renew it regardless of what you say, when they send you the renewal notice, you log back into your account and cancel it and they say, "See? you only tried to cancel it on that day." I do not know, but somehow it is not allowing me and probably many other customers to cancel their account. They are not interested in finding you a match, they are interested in making money by cheating you. Bob of Los Angeles, CA (1/24/06) The following are merely allegations that represent my observations and opinion. eHarmony may be innocent with respect to any accusation of fraudulent publications and/or deception. But based on a week of trial usage I am strongly convinced that 90% or more of my "match" listings were cyber-generated phantoms. There were about 30 matches presented to me for contact or refusal, none responded; at least none with a human sounding response, and very few of the girls posted a picture. But the dead giveaway was the timing of matches. Day after day, I received exactly 5 profiles of "matches". Then, I received two profiles of "NEW people entering the system". I clicked to initiate contact and within a couple of hours, both showed the [multiple choice] response "I am taking a break from dating right now." Think about it. They joined, and on their first day are taking a break from dating?? I could be flatly wrong - maybe there were truly no phantom matches, maybe I just portrayed poorly or maybe weeks or months are needed to allow success. It should be noted that their customer service fairly and readily granted a credit card refund with only a 4-minute phone call - no B.S. whatsoever. eHarmony earned an A+ in that aspect only. Pat of Nevada City, CA (1/16/06) I recently joined eHarmony on a 1-week trial basis with a "satisfaction guaranteed/full refund" understanding. I had been a member two years ago and knew the drill. I sent in my profile and when I checked for matches the 11 original men (that had been on my page 2 years ago) were the only ones there! Today, they tell me there were over 40 other "hits", but it's now closed. Those 40 NEVER appeared in my account, only the 11 original names! I closed my account and was told that my credit card would be credited $49.95. After many calls and 10 weeks I have yet to see that refund and they now state that I did not close it in a timely manner, which is not true. They scramble and detain your efforts to cancel in order to keep your money and now seem deaf to my demands. Lori of West Linn, OR (1/16/06) I spent 30-40 minutes filling out their "free personality profile." When completed, I was informed that I was not going to be allowed to join their service because my answers did not fit in to any of their categories, and rather than risk not being able to match me, they stated that I was not able to join their service. My first reaction was disbelief. I am a professional, educated, emotionally stable, attractive woman. It left me feeling humiliated, insulted and asking a lot of questions about this service. How can anyone be "unmatchable?" Could they not come up with a better solution to those whose answers fit into the 20% of people whose answers don't match their criteria for matches? Why don't they put that disclaimer on their television advertisements or on the questionnaire before you spent 40 minutes of your life filling it out? Frances of Crockett, TX (1/5/06) I joined eHarmony for 3 months. I received an email stating that my subscription had ended and that they had charged my credit card another $29.95 for another month. Since I did not authorize or want another month, I used the "contact us" link on their website to tell them I didn't want to continue my membership and to refund my credit card for the additional month. I received a form message telling me how to cancel. When I followed that procedure, I received the same form message that I had received before. Twice more I followed the procedure and twice more I received the same generic message. Finally I called my credit card company and reported the eHarmony charge as unauthorized. Terri of Strongsville, OH (1/4/06) In April of 2005, I took the "so-called" personality test through eHarmony, which took me three days to complete, only to be "disqualified" from the agency completely, without even a chance at it. I think eHarmony is a "farce". Damages: eHarmony has turned away a really good candidate, and it is a REAL shame, because a really good person out there is missing out on the love of their life!! Lisa of Elkton, MD (1/3/06) I joined eHarmony and have had three dates. My first match lied and entered into a relationship with me knowing full well he was having a baby with another woman! I recently signed on for three more months at $100. Now, the site is so clogged I cannot access the bunch of losers they've matched me with. It's a crazy world out there and some of those nut jobs are on eHarmony. Damages: Cost in fees: $100. Look on the faces of people when I tell the stories: PRICELESS Jim of Willowbrook, IL (1/3/06) I have been trying for months to stop eHarmony from taking money from my checking account. I have sent a letter and complained online but they are still taking the money. N of Birmingham, MS (12/31/05) Because of intermittent website glitches all my matches were placed on hold or closed without my input. The buttons did not work when I attempted to send questions to matches or answer their questions to me. These glitches may have resulted in some, if not all, my matches thinking I was not interested, was wishy-washy, or plain disingenuous. Customer Service emails went unanswered. Damages: Glad I did not commit to this service and will seek better service elsewhere. Susan of Amarillo, TX (12/15/05) I feel as many others do, that this company is a scam. I signed up for a 3-month membership and immediately received an e-mail saying that "the process is really designed to take a year and here's a great discount on a year's membership"! So far, no matches. I tried to cancel the membership, but it was past the 7-day trial so they refused. I clicked "NO" for an automatic renewal on my membership, so now I'll be watching carefully to make sure I am not billed any further. On top of that, they have sold my e-mail address because I'm getting all kinds of spam on that dedicated email address. K. of Fort Worth, TX (12/14/05) My subscription expired on Dec 9, 2005, so on 11/28/05 I sent eHarmony an email stating that I no longer wished to be a member and that my credit card was no longer at their disposal. On Dec 9th I received an automated message saying that my new subscription will expire on Jan 09, 2006 and that $39.95 had been charged to my credit card. I would like to see appropriate action taken against eHarmony as they apparently have no scruples. May of Edenton, NC (12/11/05) I signed up with eHarmony for the 6-month plan. So far, out of approximately 12 supposed matches, only 1 communicated and that person tried to push varied software services on his own network address. I have emailed eHarmony to ask for a refund but have not received an answer. I am totally disappointed and feel like an idiot for being taken by their savvy but misleading advertisements. Damages: $162.00 and renewed mistrust of internet service companies. Francoise of Oceanside, CA (11/22/05) On 9/26/05 I signed up with eHarmony for a 7-day trial. On 9/30/05 I canceled the membership - 3 days after confirmation. On 9/27/05 eHarmony charged my credit card $49.95 for the 3-month membership fee before the trial period was over. Monica of Pittsburg, PA (11/14/05) I have been on a month-to-month agreement and placed my cancellation notice about 1 week before my current membership renewed. Their first response said they would refund, but wanted to offer me 5 additional months of membership. I wrote back that I was not interested. Their second response said that a refund would not be sent because I was on automatic renewal. I told them their online cancellation process did not prompt marking the automatic renewal box. Their response was to resend the email stating that they would not refund anything money but would extend my membership for 2 months! Damages: $38.95 Sherri of Phoenix, AZ (11/8/05) I signed up for the 3-month trial with eHarmony. Yes, I had matches, all old enough to be my father! I wrote to the company and said I did not wish to continue my membership. I figured I would have to eat the 3-month set up, but what was shocking was that they would not acknowledge my cancellation. For three more months they kept charging me. Finally, in utter frustration, I went to my bank to see what I could do. They told me to cancel my debit card and gave me the FRAUD number to call. The fraud department gave me the number for eHarmony since it is not found anywhere on their site. Finally, I got through to someone and they refunded my account. I am writing all of this to help others who may have problems with eHarmony. Since they do not post their phone number anywhere, I will post it here, thanks to the lady at my bank. To make your claim to eHarmony, call 1-800-263-6133. Judy of Helmetta, NJ (10/21/05) I joined this site and decided they did not deliver what they advertised. I rarely got matches. One match was a very dishonest man who had no intention of having a relationship. I don't think the other matches were active members because they have been "reading my questions" for three months. Also, they don't tell you that they continue to use your picture even though you are no longer a member. I think there should be legal action taken against this web site. Bernard of Toledo, OH (10/19/05) I cannot find a site to cancel my membership with eHarmony. I have not received any emails from them and I don't know if they are charging my account. Cancellation is my only recourse. Jeanine of Sacramento, CA (9/27/05) I paid for a 3-month service. After 2 months I became very frustrated and emailed customer service expressing my concerns. The next day I received an email stating since I had requested it, they canceled my subscription! I never asked to be canceled because I knew I could not get a refund. I wanted to use the service until my subscription ran out. I cannot contact eharmony because they have no contact information other than their email address. Anna of New York, NY (9/7/05) I cannot get eHarmony to stop debiting me for a subscription that expired. I can't reach anyone. The website is worthless. I keep getting debited $19.95 a month. It's been 8 months and I can't afford the $159.60. Christie of Leesburg, FL (8/31/05) I paid $49.95 for a service that I can't even access. Kathleen of Mission Viejo, CA (8/18/05) In February 2005, I paid for a year's subscription to eHarmony.com. In my profile I stated I wanted to be matched to people "all over the world." So far, with a few exceptions, every match lives in my general area. When I asked what was going on, they insisted they have all kinds of subscribers "all over the world." Remember, I get about 5 matches a month, but they are not people that anyone would match to my "profile." Also, starting the day after I signed up, I have been getting filthy spam emails in my private inbox. I don't know if it is connected, but I rarely received spam before, and it started the day after I signed up with eHarmony. Adam of Concord, MA (8/8/05) I signed up for one month of service for $49.95, on a 7-day trial. The money was deducted from my credit card with the understanding that if I wanted to cancel during the first seven days I could with no obligations and the money would be refunded. I signed up on a Sunday and attempted to cancel the service the following Saturday. However, the website indicated that in order to complete my cancellation I needed to contact customer service to obtain a confirmation number. Unfortunately, customer service is only open Monday - Friday from 8-6 Pacific Standard Time. I reside in Connecticut, so by the time I was able to contact customer service on Monday my seven days would have expired. I contacted customer service anyway two times on Monday. I was on hold for 2 hours the first time and 1 hour the second time and was never able to speak to anyone. I also sent several e-mails to customer service but got no reply. If a company offers a free 7-day trial they should not set up the service so that it is impossible to cancel. Damages: Still haven't heard back about a possible refund of the $100 (2 months charges). Robert of Genola, UT (7/7/05) I belong to eHarmony and have been using the same password for the last two months. All of a sudden I get an error message saying the password is incorrect. I can't get on the website to check my emails and I can't get e.harmony to tell me what is going on. Damages: I am wasting money for no service rendered. Josh of Champaign, IL (11/13/05) I just read the comments in the Good Guys section about eharmony.com and though they might be miracle makers for some, but you had better fit into their personality test template or you'll waste about forty minutes filling out the test. eHarmony admits that about 20% of respondents won't have results to fit what they deem as suitable matching criteria and if you don't fit that mold they refuse to even try to match you with anyone. What gets me are these taunting commercials that go on and on about how they'll find you ultimate happiness in your perfect mate with these giddy swooning newlyweds. I took the test probably three times adjusting answers that could be gray areas and still the same thing - left out in eharmony purgatory. It left me feeling dejected and well...unmatchable. Anthony of San Antonio, TX (10/29/05) Eharmony's ads state: "Through their 29 point survey, that a match of compatible people will be made to each joining member". I believe their matches are not members and in many instances the number of matches are inflated only to show large numbers to the members. Damages: At $100 per member times (as Eharmony advertises) millions of members, then the numbers are staggering. Darcie of Greenville, SC (10/1/05) I signed up for the 7-day free trial. The agreement stated if you cancelled before the 7-day free trial was up, you would not be charged the $49.95 fee. I cancelled before the seven days, because I did not feel eHarmony was not for me. When I got my credit card I had been charged $49.95, even though I had cancelled my service. Frank of Lake Forest, CA (9/28/05): I believe that eHarmony misleads potential new members by matching people currently in relationships with others to increase the amount of matches; matching both active members and candidates to simulate more activity; and by implying a candidate is attempting to start communications with you, when in reality they never sent you questions. I am also disappointed because requests to speak to supervisors are ignored and phone calls are never returned. Pat of Portland, OR (9/16/05): I signed up for a 3-month package to help me find a match. After two weeks of not receiving any matches that I could communicate with, I asked for my money back. No deal. Since then I have received a total of 11 (supposedly) matches. Nine of them had closed messages; one closed as I read it; and the last one was a man way outside my age range. So I couldn't communication with any of them. In the last 3 weeks, I've received nothing from e-Harmony. My opinion is that they DO NOT DELIVER what they say they will. I'm angry with them for taking my hopes and my money. I've written several e-mails to them and they sent back generic, form e-mails insinuating my profile is off or that I am just not a match. The depression from feeling that no one matched to my profile should not be caused by a company that is supposed to do just the opposite. I think if they did their job, I'd have lots of matches because I get tons of matches on other services. Damages: I lost $100 and three months of my time. Robin of Pacific Palisades, CA (8/4/05): I joined eHarmony.com for 3 months. I received an email stating my subscription had ended and that they had charged my credit card another $29.95 for the next month that I did not authorize. I used the "contact us" link on their website to tell them I didn't want to be a member anymore and that they had no right to charge my card without my authorization. I have not received a reply. I've searched everywhere I can think of for a phone number for them without luck. There is no 800 number, no address for them, no local number, nothing! I've read a lot of other complaints on your site, so I'm far from the only person with complaints about them. Karen of New London CT (4/11/05): I subscribed to Eharmony and the first person I met told me he is an alien, became psychotic and crazy. I have tried to contact eharmony and there is no way to contact anybody to report this weirdo. Luckily I was in public when he flipped out. I'm afraid somebody is going to get hurt. The questionnaire is quite lengthy but they do fail to ask if you are an alien! Karen of Rockaway Park NY (3/25/05): I have been a member for over two weeks now and am having my doubts. Many of the 'matches' that they present to me have not responded to my initial attempts at communications because they include people who have not even subscribed amongst matches, so it's not a viable option. They do not identify who are real subscribers and who are merely people who looked over the web site and wandered on. This is dishonest, as it suggests that they have lots more matches available than they actually do. Also, in the two weeks since I subscribed, their 'live chat' feature for customer service has been constantly down for maintentance. What serious web-based company could allow this integral part of custmer service to be down for a week? It's next to impossible to find a phone number to complain about what is going on. Gayle of Greenville IL (3/22/05): Signed up for 3 months of compatibility matches. No answer from anyone -- wrote by email to company. Sent me a form answer. No personal interaction. Do not believe they are sending me legitimate names. Used other services with over 100 results in less than 2 months. Lost $100. They only agree to send you three matches per month. No way for you to contact your matches. Amie of Meriden CT (2/21/05): I signed up on-line to try the eharmony.com service for a 7-day trial offer. I signed up for a month of service for $49.95. The website deducted the amount from a credit card but offered a 7-day free trial. So, before the 7 days was up I could cancel with no obligations and the money would be refunded. I signed up on a Sunday and attempted to cancel the service on a Saturday. However, I was unable to because the website indicated that in order to complete my cancellation I needed to contact customer service to obtain a confirmation number. Unfortunately, customer service is only open Monday - Friday from 8-6 pacific standard time. I reside in Connecticut. So, by the time I was able to contact customer service on Monday my 7 days would have expired. I contacted customer service anyways twice on Monday, 2/21. I was on hold for 2 hours the first time and I hour the second time. I was unable to speak with anyone. I also sent several e-mails to customer service but had no reply. If a company offers a free 7-day trial they should not set up the service so that it is impossible to cancel. Kevin of Gaithersburg MD (2/11/05): Subscribed for three months and no replies. Never met anyone. Waste of time and money. Janet of Carle Place NY (1/18/05): Recently I was a member of Eharmony.com and was sent a match who made it clear he was already involved with a girlfriend and whose main intent was to find sex and not a committed relationship. He spoke of wanting a shared lifestyle, an aggressive sex partner, not an agressive relationship partner ad nauseum. When I brought this to eharmony's attention they called this just a match not looking for a commitment. Told me this was a "free" page they weren't responsible for. Told me my 7-day trial was up and I could not be refunded. Even with live chat involved reading the entry. It took over a month of almost daily emails to finally get a refund with a statement saying they were sorry I was unhappy with their match and their services. And by the way that "coincidentally" only happened when I wrote to an editor who happened to be a personal friend of the Warrens. Over and over and over again I asked to speak to management. Instead, they emailed me they would bring it to their attention. They had a lot of opportunities to talk to me to make this ordeal better. They declined. I have copies of the match and emails. This was a major mistake with no accountability on their part. I found eharmony rude and condesending. Hard to imagine they require a very lengthy profile be filled out as well as a pricey subscription rate for such a lack of professionalism, lack of screening and totally dysfunctional customer service that just doesn't want to be bothered. They are all hype with no substance in my opinion. Sincerely, jk I used this site specifically because its terms and conditions specified no sexual content. My ex-husband was a pedophile and I was trying to be as cautious as possible under the circumstances. Norm of Honolulu (1/13/05): I joined eHarmony about one year ago. While I met some compatible folks, there are escalating problems. For example: • there is no method of deleting obvious "dead end" matches, thus, one has to sift through (over a hundred in my case) inactive matches to find current messages/matches • there is no way to modify age of one's match range. I look many years younger than my age. One face-to-face date my age literally could have passed for my mother (don't get me wrong, I love my mother, just don't want to date her peers...) • multiple attempts to feedback the system are completely and consistently ignored • there is no way to sort matches or messages and they frequently lose matches or, after typing a lengthy message on their system, my words disappear, never to be delivered (I have heard this same complaint from multiple others) • I responded to a "two for one" ad and, after half the promised term, they cut off my service as unpaid. Hours of being on hold and being cut off by customer service finally corrected their screw• up and they were indignant that I asked them to live up to their offer. Their customer service and attitude was clearly, "We are, and play, GOD, take it and SHUT UP ALREADY." • and, to top that off, I received an email from eHarmony customer service without an explanation saying, "Pursuant to the rights within the terms and conditions of the service agreement with eharmony.com, your membership has been terminated." In addition, they emailed this message (with my name and city inserted, to EVERYONE I HAD EVER CONNECTED WITH ON EHARMONY OVER THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF: "Dear eHarmony Customer, As you are a present or past user of eHarmony.com, we want to inform you that one of your matches, ______ from _______, has been removed from the eharmony service for alleged violations of the eHarmony.com terms and conditions of use as stated in the eHarmony user agreement. eHarmony.com disclaims any responsibility or liability if you choose to have any future contact with ______" I have emailed them three times asking them to explain what terms I am alleged to have violated - no response. Maybe someone upset that I didn't respond quickly enough? Maybe old Googled erroneous news reports (related to a divorce battle which eHarmony decided is Gospel?) or maybe they decided to silence the messenger after my written feedback on their glitches? In any case, there are cheaper, newer, and better services. Edward of Alexandria VA (11/20/04): I asked to be matched to women within my state (within 120 miles) and kept getting "matched" to women in Florida, New York, California! and no one in my immediate area. Damage Resulting: Spent a great deal of money for nothing. Danielle of Kenmore WA (9/27/05): I signed up for a 7-day trial membership and only received "automatic" responses. It wasn't until I threatened to contact the Better Business bureau to file a fraudulent complaint that I received a response of a closed account (not what I requested.) Still no refund and now no way to contact them! I am frustrated and angry over the lack of response and the difficulty to get my money back. It is unacceptable to provide a guaranteed refund and then refuse to honor it. Robert of Irving TX (9/20/04): 45 minutess to fill out a questionnaire and I get 4 matches within 120 miles - 3 without pictures - 3 in the real estate business. Hmm. I'm 49 nine years old, very athletic, reasonably good-looking and I own a very successful international business. The questionnaire does not ask about age preference or appearance (e.g. weight). I can see validity in some of the complaints - the questions do seem to be "screening" for depression. dominance, selfishness ... so at least I understand how it works now. 4 people? 120 miles. I must be really awful. Or maybe I should just hang around real estate offices with a cardboard sign and try to meet the single agents. Strange. Connie of Tampa FL (7/10/04): Not only is there no phone number for the company, but no one ever returns email inquiries. They supposedly offer live chat help. Well, I tried for over a week -- morning, noon and night. The only message you will get is it's down for construction. I am still waiting to see if I will be billed for a supposed trial membership. Samir of Clemmons NC (4/4/04): I signed up because they said they had a 7-day risk-free guarantee. I had previously used this service before for a short period. After 3 days, I decided to cancel. However, they refuse to give me a refund because they claim their 7-day guarantee doesn't apply to people that have used the service before. That was not stated in all the E-mails they sent begging me to come back. Also, California state law says that dating services have to offer cancellations within three days, but clearly this is not how they see it. They refuse to refund my $49.95. Sharon of Charlotte NC (3/19/04): I purchased a one-month subscripton to this online dating service. I canceled it five (5) days prior to my renewal date. I followed all instructions posted on their website and from a customer service rep. I received notification that it was canceled and that I would no longer be billed efective 3/10/04. On 3/11/04 eHarmony did in fact bill me for another month of service ($39.95) which not only resulted in an unauthorized charge, but put me over my credit limit on my Visa and I incurred an additinonal charge of $29.00. I have been trying since 3/11/04 through repeated e-mails (which by the way is the only way to contact this company) sometimes three e-mails a day to their customer service rep. I have asked and asked for a refund to my Visa for $68.99 & I continue to get the same exact "computerized" response. I just want a refund to my Visa account in the amount of $68.99. May 8 2007 Little Risk to Humans from Tainted Animal Feed, Feds Assert Katrina's Legacy: A Flood-Damaged
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
After two weeks of receiving over 50 compatible matches, communicating with all (regardless of whether they seemed likely, or not), finally getting to "open communication with one," who decided he was "not ready for the next step," receiving many "closed" notices by others despite being a fairly attractive 64 year old woman, the light went on. When I questioned customer service, I found that I was, indeed, being matched with everyone in their data bank, whether the person was an active member or not. Yes, I would be kept in the data bank forever, even if I cancelled. No, they could not send me only active members. I protested that I did not want to be a marketing ploy, or a recruitment to get back members who (at our age) may have died, married or lost their, well, energy, for a partner. They did give me the address in Pasadena to write: Cust.Rel. POB 60157, Pasadena, CA 91116, Attn: Louise. I relayed my dissatisfaction, my hours spent in trying to communicate with people who, for whatever reason, had cancelled, by letter. I also was able to delete my pictures, and some of my profile, the answers I'd typed in, but the answers where you have to check off, such as 4 words your friends would use to describe you, would not delete. So at least I have an incomplete profile with no pictures. They are still sending me matches. Oh, I also cancelled and put a block on charges on my credit card from them, thanks to this site. I informed them that in this computer age it should be a simple matter to allow people to request matching "with active members only," in order to conserve precious time on the computer.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Contact info: General Contact: eHarmony P.O. Box 60157 Pasadena, CA 91116 626.795.4814 www.eharmony.com Media Contact: Lou Casale Phone: 626.795.4814 media@eharmony.com eHarmony Members If you have any questions or comments about your eHarmony account, please contact us using one of the methods below: Phone: 1-800-648-9548 seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day By Mail: eHarmony P.O. Box 60157 Pasadena, CA 91116
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I foolishly paid almost $200.00 on e-harmony. Tried to get my $ back, not an option. Tried to change my profile and requirements, No! Found out that most of the matches I was sent weren't even members so I was waiting for responses from people who would never respond. I just cancelled my subscription and sent them my "opinion". I regret paying for their "service"
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Yeah, it's definitely a questionable service. Highly suspect. All the steps one has to take to reach the unreachable level of "OPEN COMMUNICATION". The questions the must haves and can't stands. I wanted to burst out laughing. I mean, really, was that for real!!!? I'm glad I ran into this sight, because it put more of a perspective on it. People, your voices were heard because I got out before the 7 days were up. Because what was happening to me was just the beginning of everything I read on here. Thank you.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I had the unfortunate experience of living with someone whom I discovered was actively seeking matches on eHarmony. I discovered many things he had misrepresented himself as being in his profile in their data base. He had been my high school sweetheart and we reconnected a year ago after many, many years and he persuaded me to move to San Antonio and live with him. After so doing I discovered he is a heavy smoker (he had told me he didn't smoke!), he is an alcoholic, unemployed with no serious job prospects, in the process of filing bankruptcy and his house was heavily mortgaged. At one time he HAD been very affluent and successful but I imagine the drinking got the best of him. At any rate, I foolishly determined that I would try and stick it out with him to try and stick it out with him in the hopes of "helping" him. At any rate, on his eHarmony profile he indicates he does not smoke, drinks occasionally and presents himself as very successful. When I initially confronted him about his account with eHarmony, he cancelled it, I suppose to try and placate me. The frosting on the cake was when I become even more suspicious of his "fidelity" or, more appropriately, lack thereof and began checking some things out. Lo and behold, I hacked into his e-mail account (unscrupulous, perhaps, but......) and discovered e-mail communication wherein he was soliciting the services of a transsexual!!! That, of course, was the final straw and I moved out. I did, however, notify eHarmony of his "issues" and even forwarded them the e-mail communication he had with the transsexual. I expressed concern that he might try and reinstate his account and innocent women with whom they matched him would be victimized. So, even in light of this informatin, sure enough, they did reinstate his account!!! He laughingly advised me of this shortly after they did so. Women, BEWARE!!! This dating service, which I had thought was one of the more reputable and "safe" ones, clearly is more interested in their net profits than the safety and well-being of the women in their data base!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Mr. E-Harmony: Take a good look at yourself. What a JOKE!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I've read complaints and a big one is that eHarmony renews membership, no matter how long withstanding, without tacit subscriber (your) approval. Answer: Do what I just did - report credit card lost and have new one issued and sent (with new account number). When renewal scam is initiated, E is shit outta luck...
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined eHarmony about three years ago. I filled out the survey, paid my money and waited for true love. I specified that I was on the curvy side and that I dd not think physical appearance wsa not of major importance to me. They consistantly sent me matches who specified that they required a woman of higher than average appearance and would not tolerate a woman who was overweight. Obviously, not men who would be interested in a woman of my size (size 14-16) I had photos posted and available to view when open communication was reached and, almost invariably, men simple stopped comminication after viewing my photo. I was devastated, my self confidence and self esteem were virtually non-existent. Then, I found a dating website that was expressly for larger than average women and men and those who prefer a lil something extra to hold onto. I have made many friends there and found a wonderful man who loves my body as it is.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
This company is a joke. I paid 100.00$ for three months and received 10 mathches a day for the first few days. After that I got one match ever other day and they wouldn't allow me to cancel my subscription because it was past 7 days. So during the cancellation period you get a bunch of mathes and then after that you don't get many at all. What a joke!!!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Hello, I wish I had read this before I signed up! I canceled my subscription today and you would not believe the run around this girl gave me! She was telling me over and over about the 29 dimensions and how she thinks I should reconsider and she would extend me 7 day trial and oh you can just call on Friday and cancel......yeah right its too late then for the refund....she was also telling me she was committed to finding the love of my life...yeah right...and she would not leave me alone about why I decided to cancel the love of my life. I am worried because for about ten minutes she talked and I said no, I want to cancel, no, I want the refund and she finally said okay but she said it would be 6 or 7 days before it goes through. I am thinking that of course because then when the refund doesn't come....oh gosh sorry ma'am but your 7 free days are up and no way to prove I cancelled on the 2nd day! Okay one last thought. I do wonder about these matches......looks are not the most important things in a person but good grief......
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
E-harmony sends you dozens of profiles that have nothing in common with you. You think you are getting somewhere and usually you do not. Basically, you pay for hope, not for a result. It's still better than committing suicide.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I signed up for three month deal and found that I was getting no or poor matches. I asked them for a partial refund, seemed fair. All I got was the run around. I pointed out that Match.com gave me a refund at another point. They admitted, as EHarmony would not, that the database was stale. My suggestion is to first call your credit card company and dispute the charge. This will tie them up for a while. You can also call their call center and complain regularly. If you can't get the money back you will have the satisfaction of raising their administrative costs.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
MOST of the complaints here are unrealistic. You need to understand what's possible and what's not possible in internet dating. Nevertheless, there are things that ARE possible . . . that Eharmony doesn't do. And that's where there are legitimate complaints. Basically: Eharmony doesn't give you enough choice in the matches you receive. They FINALLY relented about age -- which was the single biggest complaint they had. But they still don't, for example, let you choose whether someone has children (an issue that personally matters to me). So . . . depending on your needs, a lot of the daily 6 matches you receive are wasted on people you will NEVER, EVER consider. This is too bad -- because I am convinced that Eharmony now has a large enough customer base that really good matches almost certainly exist for most people. Even hard-to-satisfy ME (!) It'll just take a very, very long time for it to happen . . .
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Is eHarmony.com a legitimate introduction sevice or merely a Hi-Tech "street-styled" scam operation?After much intrigue over their grand advertisments and lofty promises,I became convinced to to give them a try.I signed up for a full one year membership with investments of hope,enthusiasm,optimism and ofcourse some hard-earned money. Since I was recently divorced and too busy to cultivate and develope choice relationships independently,I felt that this would be a reasonable investment.What did my in-put yeild?Attempted pschological abuse,insults and loads of potential self-esteem battery..No love of my life as per their advertisments and agreement. To date,there are over 100 "closed"matches in my eHarmony file,all ranging from racists,to morons,to the severely I.Q challenged.Not one date and only two or three "matches" moving beyond stage one or stage two levels of communication..It has been nine months. Reasons for these "matches"closings ranged between "the distance between us being too great,to "no photos posted" even though I have had posted from the begining of this farse,5 beatiful,clear,recent phots presented and still viewable on the site.My real reasons for closing are not even offered as choices in the eHarmony selection,since there are no closing selections which indicate "far too stupid" or "too repulsive to the eyes."Attempts to receive clarifacation from eHarmony is usually met with rude, "rubber-stamped" responses with no resolve.The female representatives were found to be the most hostile and evasive.I am beautiful inside,outside,and all around;that's how I have ALWAYS been described,"a gorgeous plus-sizes woman"and might I add,very unique and special in many ways.I refuse to allow these retards to to change my perspective on truth.I find eHarmony to be digusting,dishonest and disappointing to the maximum.One of the things they love to regurgitate in rebuttal to complaints is"Our sevices result in thousands of marriages per year."I say "yeah,sure,prove it."I believe that their "catty"representatives close hopeful matches,because it is beneficial for them to do so for one reason or another.I also believe that they set-up matches which they know full well are absolutely rejectable,and/or create BOGUS profiles.In other words,I believe these people(eHarmony)to be con-artists,no more and no less than those con-artists we can encounter on any big city U.S.A street on any day of the week.The shame is, that these evidently embodied demons,call themselves CHRISTIANS. Cassandre,New Jersey
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have had no success in getting a date from this site. 90% of the profiles are fictitious. I was matched with a girl in my home town. During the open communication process she magically changed her location to another part of the country. I received couple of emals from her , but no answer on her change in location. The customer service folks say they perform no background check. What a Scam!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have a problem with e-harmony, because there isn't a phone number I can call if I have a complaint. They assume that everyone is satisfied by an e-mail. I feel ripped off because they are "matching" me with people in their system who haven't joined yet.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined e-harmony in late May 2006. Right away I got several matches. One seemed really promising--we had alot in common! We sent questions back and forth, and I was really excited at how similar our thinking was. Then it reached the "open communication" stage. I got one message, and then nothing. All the other matches closed the match before any kind of communication could take place. I contacted their customer service, and asked what was up...they sent a "nudge" to the person, but I still didn't hear from them. I noticed, however, that after every time I contacted them, I would get an influx of new matches. Besides the continued lack of any chance at communication, they were sending me people I KNEW I was NOT compatible with, just by their interests!! So...my theory is one or all of the below: they have a small database of customers, they send "matches" that don't really exist, or that are not at all compatible, they "close" communication, not the people (again, if they even do exist). So, basically, we aren't getting any real service at all. And here's a fact: they have absolutely no integrity or ethics whatsoever, and will not stand behind their service with a refund, when asked. They are bloodsucking business vampires. Don't waste your time or money.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have been am member of e harmony for almost 2 years-and have only had one date from that process. The majority of men I have been matched with have never responded or have closed me out immediately. My hunch is that there are WAY more women in the database than men. I've seen several men comment here that they got 5 (or more) matches the first day they signed up-MUST BE NICE!! The ratio of men to women must be so disproportionate, as I have had men either not respond at all, tell me they are pursuing other matches (what other matches, I say?), or based on my profile they are not interested. I think the guys have the luxury of having multiple matches to choose from. It's frustrating to wait 4 months for a match, and then log on to find that he's already closed me out as a match due to the above reasons. I am a unique woman with wit, charm, and looks-but I guess I am not generic enough. I filled out my initial personality profile with honesty and integrity (and I have 6 pictures posted-and I can't say the same for the paltry matches I received-I saw no pics at all, or questions answered half-assed) . I put thought and care into my words-but don't think that everyone is doing the same. Heck, I'm going back to match.com...at least I feel I have some control over my dating life! Plus, DATING IS NOT BRAIN SURGERY, and it's just way too complicated with e-harmony. Bye-bye, e-harmony for good!!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I met the most wonderful woman of my life on eHarmony. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. Other than that, I wasted 3 years of effort on this awful service, and consistently find the so-called user support to be utterly incompetent. And the 7 day "free trial" is an outright lie. You can sign up but that's it -- you're over the ludicrous $60/mo barrel if you want to try and communicate. Likewise the "$40 value" personality profile -- it's obviously worthless. Sad that the professed Christian(s) running this slap in the face can act so unprincipled. Meanwhile I see that of June 06, eHarmony has really amped up the advertising. Must be big money in lying to customers.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I have been on eharmony for 3 months, have had 5 dates and the guys have been LOSERS! One was married...I could have found him w/o the assistance of Dr. Warren! Another guy was so little he could have fit in my purse! UGH!!! Agonizing and painful are the only ways to describe eharmony!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I only received matches during my initial subscription day and after that, zip. I just recently reopened my profile but did not actually join, and am glad I read these comments before contacting the only decent profile I was sent. During my last subscription, I went out with one guy that of their so called "29 dimensions of compatibility" they must have been counting that we both had eyes as 2 of them, we were both on planet earth, etc. I am NOT resubscribing and sorry to my match that is a paying subscriber that is probably wonder why I haven't answered his first set of questions. They should NOT include non-paying members in your matches, or, if they do that, give the paying customer the option of paying you way in so they can reach you, lol...the only e-harmony on THIS daying website is the harmony the guy on the commercial must feel on the way to the bank.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I joined Match.com and had about five very nice dates! I still see a couple of them. I joined eharmony to find "the one" and what a BUST! I am a 5'1" woman who has a "New Age" kind of personallity. I was matched with men over 6' tall who LOVE Jesus! Nice, but not my cup of tea! The BEST was when they matched me with "Kathy"...I am sure Kathy is a lovely woman, and I guess I went though all the MEN that were matched with me...but I am NOT a lesbian! I just laughed and cancelled my membership. I was lucky and had no problems with that! ehamony is a HUGE rip off!
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I am currently a member of eharmony, but I will not be renewing my membership. They say they will not put you into their system if you are incompatibile, but here I am six months later without 1 single match!!!! This is a complete fraud! It's just like every other online singles site, but this one costs more.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
This place really sucks big time I think the people have spoken. I am pissed but I will allow the duration of this rant to be limited to the main points. The guys are idiots. CLose to 500 matches over ten months and not one date to date (nice pun huh.) Ironic that this site is supposed to be one that specializes in committed relationships and the guys are so out to lunch that they must have fallen asleep at the buffet table.>:) Before you jump to conclusions I am doing nothing different than what I do on other sites and I must have met at least 15 men online in person. Losers, keepers, but its all good by comparison. I don't know what their damn problem is but if they don't know what they want or how to keep the ball rolling they need to get the hell off the site and giving others a bad name. Another thing--If I have to get put on hold one more time because these wimped-out assholes are "taking a break from their search right now," I'm gonna have to throw up! Seriously, if you're not interested, then say so!! Don't hand me some boiler-room bullshit line, I am not stupid! I know what I want and don't want, what about you?? You don't have the guts to say "the chemistry isn't there" to my face, because only a pathetic idiot would stop writing to me for some lame intangible reason like that because chemistry cannot be determined online, period! it is psychological, folks!! I guess they have the idea that they're laying out the bucks for a premier service that does all the work that they don't have to act like people with any caliber of decency. After I found a nice guy on match.com (I never used them nearly as long as eharmony) all I can say is no thank you, I can find men on my own, piss on you! go in peace--Jennifer in Georgia
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
After my paid membership at eHarmony expired a 7 Day Free trial offer appeared appeared in bright yellow letters on my account. I thought I'd give it another few days, so I signed up for a month at $60, thinking I could opt out if I wanted to. I cancelled within the 7 day period. Upon cancellation, however, a message appeared informing me that because I was a returning member, I was ineligible for the refund. I thought the organization was one of integrity; apparently I was wrong. They posted the message on my account, knowing I was a previous paid subscriber. And I saw nothing about former subscribers being ineligible for refunds when I renewed. So tell me, does that sound like honest business or a rip off?
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
Hey, If you're an African American disgusted with Eharmony, try Blackpeoplemeet.com. I read about it here and signed up. You can search for profiles. They have chat, messaging and the a very reasonable monthly fee. Lots of the profiles are really well filled out AND the men actually respond. I've already had 20 email exchanges from several different members, a lengthy chat, and am expecting a phone call tonight. Definitely more activity in 48 hours than I got in almost a year of Eharmony. Oh, and they also have a site for Big men and women as well as democrats and republicans. Go to blackpeoplemeet.com to link to the others. Check it out. It's worth a look.
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
I've been a member of Eharmony for a little less than a year. I live within 3 hours of 4 major cities on the East Coast. I'm an intelligent, sane, brown-skinned, full-figured latina, and most days, easy on the eyes. That being said, I've had 473 matches on Eharmony to date and not a single one has resulted in an actual date. I've found the Eharmony experience to be nothing but frustrating, infuriating and a total rip off. Luckily, I found that if I complained about my matches they kept adding free time but it was wasted time. According to Eharmony each of my matches is supposed to be incredibly compatible, so at the very least, I should be engaged in several really good email exchanges with at least some, if not all of these matches right? HA! Not even close. My matches come with profiles written with one or two words under each topic. It's rare to find a match who writes in full complete sentences to describe himself or what he wants. I also find that posted pics are hard to come by, however matches are more than quick to close off if they can't see me right away, even though they can see that I have a pic posted that I can release at my discretion. Or, I get the matches who just sit there and never respond to a request for communication. Then there are the ones who start communication then decide I live too far away after all. The communication process on Eharmony is too time consuming for this kind of crap and I refuse to pay any more money for a service that can't deliver one decent match in 473. I've done everything to my profile that they suggested when I complained about the lack of activity from my matches. When it became apparent their service was not all they claimd it to be I sent emails and all I ever got back from customer service were scripted emails. No one ever answered my direct questions about their process and the quality of my matches. If you haven't joined yet then DON'T!! If you have and you're reading this, welcome to the club. By the way, if I sound interesting email me at petals1811@aol.com. LOL :)
eHarmony_Consumer_Complaints
A different perspective...hopefully a realistic perspection on eHarmony. I've met Dr. Warren and spent a fair amount of time talking with him privately. He is a nice, sensible professional psychologist who believes that good marriages are statistically predictable based on his research of happy couples. I don't agree with him completely on this, but he is sincere and passionate about his convictions. I contacted him after reading two of his books (both are excellent) and wanted to know what my chances were of making a happy second marriage. He was very upfront with me and said, "Less than 1% chance." Like many of you, I am female, wealthy, divorced, nice looking, have two well-behaved teens, am liked by my employees and colleagues, reliable and responsible, and I don't take the time to socialize beyond church and charitable volunteer work. I never go to singles groups. Based on Dr. Warren's analysis and judgment, I chose not to join eHarmoney (which he had just launched the previous year). Love and romance is always perilous. There is no way of taking the risk out of it except by time and quiet observation.
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