Opening Credits in orderKing's Landing
Pyke
Winterfell
The Wall
(sun)
Bravos
MeeReen
Scene 1
Sansa receives a letter from Littlefinger.
Sansa and Brienne greet him.
He bestows greetings and tells her that he's brought the Knights of the Vale to come to her aid.
"Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know, you're an idiot. If you did know, your're the enemy." -Sansa
Sansa threatens Littlefinger
Littlefinger offers to beg for his life
"You freed me from the monsters that murdered my family, and you gave me to other monsters who murdered my family." -Sansa
Scene 2
Arya in bowstaff training with mistress bitch no-name.
Arya defeated and taunted.
Boxing match ensues.
Arya TKO'd in 5 seconds.
Faceless man starts talking about the many-faced god and the first faceless men.
Arya officially initiated and given an assassination of Lady Crane.
"A girl has been given a second chance. There will not be a third. One way or another, a face will be added to the hall."- Jaqen H'ghar
A play depicting Robert Barrathian's death and Ned Stark's "betrayal"
Arya watches as actor Ned Stark is portrayed as an idiot and a traitor.
Actor Sansa asks actor Joffrrey to spare him.
Actor Circi mocks.
Actor Tyrion pulls off actor Sansa's top and steals her away.
<>
Backstage we are treated to a huge ball and cock shot.
Arya lurks and listens to actors idle chatter.
Arya reports back to Jaqen H'ghar and says she will poison Lady Crane's wine.
Arya expresses regret about the assassination.
Scene 4
Bran is out greenseeing with the greenseer.
Watches the children of the forest sacrifice a man on a weirwood tree.
His eyes turn blue.
Bran confronts Leaf about creating the white walkers.
She says she did it to protect the world from men.
Scene 5
A Kingmaking at Pyke
Yara Greyjoy makes a claim to the throne.
She's shouted down.
Theon steps forward and endorses Yara.
Euron steps forward and insults Theon for his loss of manhood.
Yara tells of how she will build the largest navy ever seen.
Euron tells of Daenerys and how he will wed her and take the iron throne.
Euron is named king.
Yara and Theon escape.
Euron is baptized. In the Iron islands, baptism involves drowning. If they come back from the dead, they were meant to rule. That's pretty rude. He comes back and wants to murder Yara and Theon.
Yara and Theon have escaped and taken most of the ships with them.
Scene 6
Daenerys overlooks Vaes Dothrak. Her eyebrows are on fleek.
She thanks Jorah.
Jorah reveals Greyscale to her.
Jorah admits that Tyrion is right and he loves her.
She commands him to find a cure and heal himself so he can help her take the seven kingdoms.
There's a lot of tears.
Cutscene to outside Vaes Dothrak.
She leads an army of horsemen while Jorah goes another direction.
Scene 7
Tyrion, Varys, Greyworm, Missandei sit at council.
Tyrion pours some more wine as they talk about murders in the city.
There is a fragile peace.
Tyrion hints at getting someone to help keep it.
Cutscene to throneroom
Tyrion is introduced to the high priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis: Kinvara.
She's a huge deal!
Tyrion welcomes her as their savior to help keep the peace.
Kinvara tells that Daenerys is the one prophesied about.
Kinvara loves those dragons and wants to "purify" the world of nonbelievers.
Varys cuts in and talks about how Melisandre was wrong about Stanis and insults her.
Kinvara tells Varys about the night he was castrated. Wow.
Scene 8
Bran with sand. Sullen boy.
Hodor sleeps, greenseer sleeps.
Bran crawls over and grabs the weirwood root and goes greenseeing by himself.
He's at a frozen weirwood tree.
All around him are white walkers who are immobile around the tree
Creeepyyyyyy!
He walks into their midst and approaches the four white walker horse-lords.
Night's King grabs Bran's arm and Bran awakes.
The greenseer knows Bran was touched.
There are handprints on Bran's arm.
They must leave because now Night's King can come find him.
"The time has come." -Greenseer
"The time for what?" -Bran
"For you to become me." -Greenseer
"Hodor." -Hodor
Scene 9
Jon Snow with Sansa, Brienne, Davos, Tormund, Melisandre.
Jon is frustrated with the numbers.
Brienne gives Tormund an uncomfortable look (fangirl squee).
They discuss the Umbers and the Karstarks.
Sansa is looking like a supreme war leader.
They will recruit the smallest families first from the North to wage war on the Boltons.
Sansa is going to send Brienne to Riverrun to get the Blackfish's support
"I don't like leaving you here alone." -Brienne
"With Jon?" -Sansa
"Not him. He seems trustworthy. A bit... Brooding perhaps - I suppose that's understandable considering..." -Brienne
Sansa presents Jon with some battlegear that "she made herself" -WTF?
Tormund gives Brienne the eye. Wink. Wink.
Jon rides south with Sansa and Melisandre
Scene 10
Meera and Hodor prepare to leave while Bran is off skinchanging with the greenseer.
Knight's King is on the doorstep and uses his avalanche powers to crack the earth.
Leaf throws firebomb rocks at the white walker army.
Knight's King and the three other frost kings enter the rootchamber of the weirwood.
The white walkers cannot penetrate the fire-barricade and swarm the tree itself.
Bran is still off in la-la land watching a young Ned Stark talking to his dad.
Meera and Hodor fight off white walkers coming in from the ceiling.
The children of the forest fight off the white walkers.
Bran finally hears Meera inside of his mind-trip who tells him to "Warg into Hodor now!"
So, inside the skinchanging greensight, Bran wargs into Hodor.
And in real life, just as the winter kings enter the chamber, Hodor comes alive with Bran.
One of the lesser ice kings kills a child of the forest, Meera throws an obsidian spear and kills it.
Summer makes a guest appearance (thanks to lazy CGI artists probably) and growls a lot.
Summer jumps at one white walker and is promptly stabbed to death by 12 of them.
Meera and Bran and Hodor haul Bran's body away down a hall while zombies... Sorry... White walkers trail them.
Meanwhile... Knight's King approaches the greenseer and kills him with his huge gnashy ice glaive.
Inside Bran's greensight the greenseer disappears in to a Harry Potter Dementor poof.
Meera and company get away while Leaf sacrifices herself with a firebomb... Barely.
Oh snap.
I'm crying.
